The Proposal
by doolittledarvey
Summary: When new blood arrives to prop up Pearson Specter Litt (post 5x16), one member of the new team makes Donna an (indecent) proposal. Will Harvey be torn apart if she accepts? Will the firm be ruined if she doesn't? #Darvey (eventually). Interactions from all characters PLUS a team of new, original characters.
1. Chapter 1 - Meet Stella Bart

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER ONE – Meet Stella Bart

Donna Paulsen wasn't feeling in the mood for a celebration.

After three weeks of non-stop hard work at Pearson Spector Litt, the graveyard of a law firm which was once one of New York City's finest, the last place she wanted to go on a Saturday evening was to Jessica's swanky charade of a party. She felt uneasy celebrating. She didn't know whether the deal with the European firm, Roche & Roche, would work out. Harvey had been against it from the start, which she expected as he hated change, but Jessica had been adamant that they couldn't rebuild the firm without outside help and, as every American law firm they considered had turned them down, they had to look elsewhere. Donna was encouraged that Jessica had known her Parisian counterpart, Claude Roche, for over 20 years and their friendship had been the reason why Harvey eventually agreed to the deal. The other reason Harvey eventually agreed was that they weren't merging with Roche & Roche the way they had done so disastrously four years ago with Darby International. Instead they were receiving investment in the shape of a partnership he hoped they would one day be able to buy out. The deal was clear – Roche & Roche's euros and a skeleton staff of professionals in exchange for 30% of Jessica and Harvey's firm and a foothold in the USA.

Tonight the party was going to be a chance to informally welcome the new European team, particularly Jessica's friend and counterpart, Claude Roche. It would be the first time she had met any of these people, but she was deflated that she was feeling so indifferent about the party. She couldn't put a finger on why she was feeling like this as she usually loved any excuse to get dressed up. The lavish affair Jessica and Claude had organised at one of New York's finest restaurants would have been something she would have usually looked forward to for days. Uncharacteristically she'd had to practically drag herself to her hair stylist's earlier in the day and she hadn't even bought herself a new dress for the occasion. She just wasn't feeling 'it'.

To top it all off, earlier she'd had a fight with Mitchell. It had been the same-old-same-old argument about her putting in too many hours at the office and prioritising work over him. She felt hurt. He should respect and understand what they'd all been through these past few months but then again how could he? She had avoided his requests to meet her friends repeatedly so she knew he couldn't understand what was happening in her life. In the beginning her relationship with Mitchell had been refreshing. He was the first man she had dated in years who hadn't been a lawyer, or who wasn't connected to Harvey in some way, and she wanted to keep her time with him totally separate from work. He had been free tonight and had asked about the party, but she had lied and told him it was for work colleagues only. She could tell he hadn't believed her, but she didn't care. She didn't want him to come and she didn't want him to know anybody at the firm – especially Harvey – because every time that had happened in the past, the end of her relationship had swiftly followed.

As her taxi pulled up at the fancy French Restaurant Jessica had booked, she sighed at the thought of the hours of small talk ahead of her. She was a people person and an extrovert who always enjoyed being at the heart of a good party, but it was more difficult for her to be herself with people she didn't know. Plus there'd be cultural differences which were always a pain in the ass. To make thing worse, Rachel had bowed out. They always used to have a riot together at these types of events, creating their own pre-party get-together where they'd spend the entire day having facials, hair appointments, beauty treatments and lots of shopping, but Rachel had become a different person over the last few weeks, which was understandable given the circumstances. Rachel had spent every weekend alone since Mike went to prison and she had declined all of Donna's invitations to go round to her place. Donna missed her best friend's company and she was worried about her.

As she got out of the cab, Donna looked through the glass windows of the restaurant at the sea of black tuxedos intermingled with the occasional flash of colours, sequins and sparkles. She was relieved she'd worn a black dress and hoped she'd be able to sink into the background against the penguin suits – after saying the necessary hello's of course. Hopefully she'd be able to leave early and have a relaxing Sunday.

"Penny for them?"

Donna turned around to see a dark haired woman with bright red lipstick smoking a cigarette just outside the restaurant's side door. The woman's green eyes shone brightly under a thick hedge of black eyelashes. She had shining porcelain skin, perfectly sculpted eyebrows and high cheekbones.

"Excuse me?" she said in reply.

The woman smiled warmly and stubbed out the remainder of her cigarette on her silver case. "Penny for your thoughts," she repeated in a cheerful, British accent.

"Oh, you know, just wondering what I'm going to find when I go through those doors," said Donna with undisguised trepidation. She also hoped she'd understood correctly what 'penny for your thoughts' meant.

The woman smiled again and offered her hand, "Stella Bart," she said crisply, "Junior Partner at Roche & Roche."

Donna shook Stella's hand and smiled. "Donna," she said.

"Just Donna?" asked Stella raising her eyebrow as her scarlet lips turned upwards into a delightful grin.

"Oh no, never 'just' Donna, but well, you'll see," said Donna in the witty style which captured her exceptional brand of self-confidence.

Stella laughed raucously, "I hope I will see," she replied as she popped her cigarette holder into her clutch bag. Donna noted that Stella had a unique style which she assumed reflected her nationality and the fact she had lived in Paris for a while. In her heels, she was slightly shorter than Donna and her face was round with pouting lips, glossy cheeks and smouldering green eyes. Her skin was pale, maybe even paler than Donna's, and her hair was dark brown and swept into an immaculate up-do. Stella had a noticeable hourglass figure with an enviable cleavage and her black cocktail dress gave her a classic 1950's hourglass silhouette which, together with her accent, reminded Donna of Elizabeth Taylor in the film 'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof'.

"Is it your first time in New York?" asked Donna embarking on the dreaded small-talk.

"Yes, it is," she replied, "and I'm so excited. I've spent nine years in Paris which was divine, but … well, it's lovely to have a change. Besides, I was getting fat with all the croissants," she chuckled.

Donna watched her expression closely. "You're running away," she said.

Stella pouted in surprise. "What?" she gasped, "how do you know that?"

"I know everything," smiled Donna, "plus I can tell because of the way you were holding your cigarette. You were enjoying it just a little too much which means you haven't smoked in a while. You probably haven't smoked in a while because someone … a boyfriend, no, a husband, didn't like it, so you stopped. But, now he's left you … because of your work. He thought you worked too much and he felt he was second place. Oh wait there's something else. Your dress is a confidence dress because your husband was jealous of you. Yes that's it, you were more successful than him and he couldn't handle it, so after what? Five, six years? He leaves you and you jump at the chance for a new start and be yourself again."

"Jesus-fucking-Christ how did you do that?" said Stella, her eyes huge with astonishment.

"I told you earlier, I'm Donna," she said with a smile.

Stella took Donna's arm and tugged her towards the restaurant door, "you're bloody wicked, Donna," she said. "We're going to be great friends, you'll see."


	2. Chapter 2 - Roche & Roche

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER TWO – Roche & Roche

Harvey Specter wasn't feeling in the mood for a celebration.

It had been three weeks since Mike had made the deal to save them all from further investigation. He'd signed away two years of his life, sparing Harvey completely, and the guilt of Mike's sacrifice was still too much for him to bear. Mike was serving a prison sentence, while he was free and swanning around a swanky French restaurant in a tuxedo suit. But, he had to keep going. He owed that to everyone – especially Jessica who had lost everything because of the stupid, selfish game he forced them all to play when he hired Mike in the first place.

Over the last few days he'd been thinking about the future instead of wallowing in guilt and self-pity. He promised himself he was going to find a way to get Mike out of jail early and he was going to concentrate on helping Jessica rebuild the firm.

When Jessica had first come to him with her plan to look for investors from overseas he hadn't been keen. The memory of the fiasco with Darby International had had a permanent effect on him. He had never liked the idea of taking outside help and he found it hard to trust others, but he could understand where Jessica was coming from. They needed to do something. They were losing clients to every single one of their competitors and although they'd maintained a small proportion of their staff, it was a far cry from the workforce they needed and the bank was threatening to pull their credit.

So, reluctantly, Harvey had agreed to her taking investment from Roche & Roche and he realised he would have to be fully supportive if the firm was going to have a fighting chance of survival. He had no choice but to be positive. It was this, or nothing.

"Ah, Harvey, there you are," said Jessica as she glided over to him in a shimmering red dress which fitted her like a second skin. She was accompanied by an older man in a tuxedo with swept back long grey hair which waved thickly to his shoulders. "May I introduce you to my good friend Claude Roche?" she beamed.

Harvey stepped forward and smiled sincerely at the older man, holding out his hand, "Harvey Specter," he said.

Claude took Harvey's hand and shook it, but then pulled him in closer, kissing him on both cheeks, "pleasure to meet you, Harvey," he said. His accent wasn't as thick – or as 'French' – as Harvey expected. "I have heard a great deal about you."

"Not all of it good, I hope," smirked Harvey. Jessica rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh, of course not," smiled the Frenchman, "my dear friend Jessica wouldn't think so highly of you unless you played in the dark as well as the light."

"Hmm, I think that's a compliment," said Harvey with a smile, "so thank you."

Claude patted Harvey on the back and held him by the shoulder. It was a tactile gesture common with Europeans, but the close contact made him feel a little uncomfortable, "of course it is a compliment. I am looking forward to working with you, Mr. Specter. I am sure there is a lot I can learn from you and dare I say it … maybe you can learn something from us too." Claude squeezed Harvey's arm before finally letting go. Harvey would reserve judgement on Claude until he'd seen him in action, but he liked him so far. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to introduce Jessica to my team. It was a pleasure to meet you Harvey, I'll catch you later. I want you to introduce me to your American sports, I'm a little embarrassed to admit I don't know the first thing about baseball."

Harvey nodded, "then I'm your man," he said and he smiled as Jessica left with Claude's arm held tightly around her waist. He found himself wondering if there could have been a history beyond friendship with those two. Claude exuded class and he was Jessica's type. He pushed it to the back of his mind deciding he'd tease her about it later on.

He went to the restaurant bar and ordered another drink. He felt tired and he really wasn't up to socialising, but he was still a named partner so he'd have to see the night through to the end. There'd be no chance of him going home early tonight.

"Glass of Chateau Margaux, s'il vous plait," said a voice next to him at the bar. The man's voice was husky and tinged with melancholy, reminding Harvey of the god-awful French artsy movie Donna had insisted they see a few years ago. He should have known better about that film! It was current but shot pretentiously in black and white which immediately turned him off. He couldn't understand a word of French, which shouldn't have mattered as the film was subtitled, but he found the language and the script maddeningly distracting. His brain had switched off after 20 minutes and he'd spent the rest of the movie watching Donna instead. He'd been mesmerised as she'd gotten swept up in the drama, her eyes never leaving the screen. Harvey smiled as he remembered that day. He hadn't minded having to watch the horrible film because he'd been with her.

The man next to him exhaled in a loud sigh as he took the glass of expensive dark red wine from the bartender.

"Enjoying the evening?" asked Harvey with a wink.

"Not exactly," said the man in a much heavier French accent than Claude Roche's. "I have recently learned that I have a new home in this city. I am not sure I'll like it here. It is so loud and garish. So little appreciation for the finer things, I think."

Harvey raised his eyebrow in surprise, 'what a dick,' he thought to himself, 'here we go with however many damn years of living with Europeans with superiority complexes.' "Oh, you just have to go to the right places, Mr … ?"

"Monsieur Roche," the man answered haughtily, shaking Harvey's hand. "Julien Roche."

"Ah, the other Mr. Roche," he said, "Harvey Specter. It looks like we'll be spending a lot of time together."

"Mr Spector," said Julien dourly, "forgive me I have heard so much about you. Yes, we certainly will be spending a lot of time together." He was slightly younger than his brother with darker hair peppered with strands of silver. His skin was olive and his eyes were dark, unlike Claude's fair complexion and bright blue eyes. Harvey decided that he and Claude didn't look anything like each other.

"You'll have a great time here," said Harvey, "everyone does. There are pockets of culture all around the city, you just have to know where to look."

"I am sure it will be adequate, Mr Specter," said Julien, "please, don't get me wrong, it will be a pleasure to work with you. It is a good opportunity. I am sorry, I'm just going to miss home, I think."

"Yeah, I can see that," said Harvey, "New York's my home and I'm damn sure I wouldn't be keen to leave this city to live anywhere else in the world. How did you draw the short straw?"

"Draw a straw?" replied the confused Frenchman.

"Sorry, I meant, how did you get lumbered with leading the New York office."

"Ah, well, let's just say I am not my brother," said Julien sullenly, "all that Claude touches turns to gold, and I? Well, not so much."

Harvey's mouth turned up at the corners in a half-grin. "Yeah, I know something about how that feels. There hasn't been much gold in my world recently."

"Yes, this I have heard," replied Julien, "there has been some scandal?"

Harvey nodded.

Julien laughed. "It should be you moving to Paris instead of me coming here, Mr. Specter," he said, "you count for nothing in France if you don't have a scandal or maybe ten in your past. It is expected of us. It is what makes life interesting."

Harvey smiled. He had to agree. "So, did you handpick your own team to come here?" he asked.

"No, not really. We had volunteers within all of our European offices who wanted the chance to work here in New York for a time. See over there …?" he asked pointing to a very tall, fair haired man, "that is Max Schmidt originally from our Frankfurt office. He is ambitious and talented, but he is very very boring." Julien emphasised the word 'boring' making Harvey grin widely, "do not enter into a conversation with Max at any cost. Your soul will die and you will want to kill yourself." He raised his hand and positioned his fingers into a 'gun', before mock shooting himself in the head

Harvey's eyes flitted over the restaurant, taking in the sight of all the new people mixing with his colleagues. He saw Louis float over to the group which included Max Schmidt and he watched his odd friend stand awkwardly as he tried to join the conversation. He laughed as he saw his fellow named partner's eyes glaze over within ten seconds of talking with Max. The look on Louis's face was a picture. He then let his gaze wander until finally his eyes settled on a familiar flash of red hair. 'Good, she came' he thought, remembering that Donna had been upset that she hadn't been able to coax Rachel into coming to the party to the point that she hadn't wanted to go herself. He watched her chatting and laughing with a small group of strangers and he beamed thinking about how brilliant she was at drawing people towards her. He always loved that about her. She was popular with everybody.

Harvey noticed Donna was glued to a woman who seemed to be rivalling her at captivating their small audience. "Who is that woman, over there?" he asked Julien.

"The redhead?" asked Julien. Harvey had been so immersed in thinking about Donna that he hadn't noticed Julien's eyes were fixed upon their group too. "I don't know her, but she's very beautiful and what a body."

"No, the redhead is ours," said Harvey protectively.

"Of course," said Julien forgetting half of the party guests were New Yorkers for a moment, "what's her name?"

"Oh, that's just Donna," he said. He was surprised at how possessive he was feeling. "But, I was talking about the brunette."

"Stella Bart," said Julien brusquely, a grimace of contempt spreading across his face. "She is originally from our London office. Be careful with her. She is … well she has no sophistication. No class. She is bad news."

Harvey watched the British woman who looked to be getting on well with Donna. She was sipping from a tall glass holding an ostentatious blue cocktail and she threw her head back in laughter, commanding the mixed group of Americans and Europeans. Donna was laughing along with her as though they'd been friends for many years and he smiled. 'If Donna likes her, than she's ok with me', he thought to himself, although he wondered about the woman's history with the Frenchman. He'd get the gossip from Donna later, he decided.

"Have you only brought people you don't like over from Paris with you, Julien?" asked Harvey, his eyebrow raised in jest. He thought his Parisian counterpart was going to be hard work and he allowed himself to feel pleased and relieved that his team – his family – was composed of people he liked and cared about. He wouldn't even talk about Louis – the weakest link in their team for so long – the way Julien spoke about his team. So far, the Frenchman had had nothing good to say about anybody.

"Again, Harvey, it was not my choice. My brother asked for volunteers, so I am stuck with whoever agreed to come here." He looked again in the direction of Donna and Stella Bart. "So, your redhead," he asked whilst taking a swig of wine, "is she available?"

Harvey didn't have to think twice before answering. No way was this miserable man getting his claws into Donna! "No, I believe she has a boyfriend," he answered truthfully, although he was still to meet the mysterious Mitchell.

"Not to mind," said Julien flapping his hand in the air dismissively, "I enjoy a challenge much more than I enjoy a certainty."

Something snapped in Harvey's brain as he listened to Julien talking about Donna and he knew the small-talk and pleasantries were over. It was time to lay down the ground rules. "As I've said, she has a boyfriend so you'll find Donna is nobody's sure thing and she's not going to be anybody's challenge either. Donna is off limits."

Julien rose from the bar suddenly as if somebody had just replaced his batteries. "You think so, Mr Specter?" he said with a dark grin, "I wouldn't be so sure. You know her, but you don't know me. I do whatever pleases me in this life and I don't answer to anyone while I'm doing it."

Harvey fixed Julien with a killer stare, but the Frenchman was unfazed. He met Harvey's stare and extended him his hand. "I'll see you around, Mr Specter," he said.

Harvey shook Julien's hand but said nothing. They both left the bar to seek out new conversation.


	3. Chapter 3 - The End of Us

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER THREE – The End of Us

Donna had ended up staying longer at the welcome party than she'd anticipated, arriving back at her apartment after midnight. Her head felt a little worse for wear which she put down to the free bar, but tomorrow was Saturday so she'd skip yoga and have a lie in instead. She thought back over the night and she smiled as she'd remembered all the lovely people she'd met – particularly Stella who she'd spent most of the night with. In many ways she felt Stella was a lot like her. She was bright and gregarious, with a 'wicked' (Donna's new favourite word) sense of humour. Stella was just what Pearson Spector Litt needed. A massive injection of fun!

She had liked Claude Roche too. He was very good looking and very charming. She could see why he and Jessica had been friends for so many years and she was encouraged that they weren't in the least concerned about the scandal – namely Mike – which had almost destroyed their firm.

Donna was just about to turn in for the night when she heard her phone ping. It was Mitchell.

"Hi Donna, I need to see you tomorrow. I don't like how we left things earlier and I need to talk to you. I'm flying to Boston for a conference tomorrow afternoon, so can I come over in the morning? Mitchell x"

Donna groaned 'there goes my lie in' she thought. Mitchell was kind and thoughtful and good fun but after almost seven months of seeing him once or twice a week she was finding herself less and less excited each time they had a date. He was a lovely man and in another world he could have been just what she needed, but there was something missing. Actually, there was a gigantic something missing. He wasn't Harvey.

Donna sighed heavily as she curled up on her sofa with a glass of iced water and her phone. What was she going to say to Mitchell tomorrow? Part of her felt like taking the bull by the horns and texting him straight back that their relationship was over. He was frustrated with her and she was tiring of their relationship. Why prolong the agony? It had been good, but it had now run its course. But, dumping somebody by text was a terrible idea. She wouldn't like it done to her, so she wasn't about to do it to Mitchell. He was a good man and he didn't deserve a text dump, so she messaged back that she'd see him tomorrow morning.

X

Donna woke up at 9.00am the next morning, but snoozed until 9.30am. She had a monster of a hangover from last night's party and didn't feel like having breakfast, so she had a large glass of orange juice together with some paracetamol and waited for her head to settle.

*ping*

Another text. She hoped it was Mitchell telling her he wasn't coming over. A deep and meaningful conversation about their relationship was the last thing she wanted. If it was him putting her off, she could go back to bed for an hour or two. She just didn't have the energy and her stomach sank every time she thought about ending things with him because she hated having to be the 'bad guy'. She looked at her phone and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the message was from Harvey.

"Need u in work. Emergency. Be quick."

'Oh shit, what's happened now?' she thought as she practically ran to her bedroom to get dressed. She looked for something comfortable and chose a black jersey dress with lace detail. She brushed her hair quickly, pleased that yesterday's expensive trip to the hair stylist's was still evident in her thick red hair, then she embarked on her 'two minute' make-up routine she had designed for times when she had to get ready quickly. She was almost done when she heard her door bell ring. 'Damnit, Mitchell', she realised. After receiving Harvey's text she had completely forgotten that he was on his way over.

She opened her door to find a smartly dressed Mitchell frowning at her. 'Here we go', she thought, bracing herself for the pain-in-the-ass conversation she'd been dreading.

"Hi Mitchell, I'm really sorry, you're going to have to be quick as I've been called into work. There's an emergency," she said hoping beyond all hope that he'd understand.

Mitchell looked agitated. "Oh really, there's a surprise," he said flippantly.

Donna tensed. He was peeved and she didn't have the time or the inclination to resolve things right now. "Why are you mad with me?" she said to him.

"You really don't know do you?" asked Mitchell.

She did know. It was the same story as always. "Look, Mitchell, what do you want me to say? Work is important to me and what we've been through these past few weeks has been massive for all of us. It's just a really hard time right now."

"I know and I sympathise with that, really I do," said Mitchell, "but it's just work, Donna, it's just a means to pay the bills. It should stop when you come home at night and it should stop at the weekend. Every time we've been out recently, all you've talked about is work. You're not a lawyer, Donna. You're not paid to take all this shit home with you. Your whole life is consumed by it and what the hell for? You're just the secretary, for Christ's sake!"

Donna was stung by Mitchell's comments. He didn't understand. He would never understand. He'd never understand because he didn't know the way things were and she couldn't tell him. It wasn't work that was her world. It was Harvey who was her world. She picked up her bag and swung it over her arm, "look Mitchell, this isn't working out between us is it? I'm not apologising for who I am and if who I am isn't right for you, then I think we need to call it a day."

Mitchell looked at her with sadness. "Seriously? That's all you have to say?" he asked, "have I meant anything at all to you these last few months? Or did you just use me to take your mind off 'him'?"

"What do you mean?" she asked hoping he didn't mean what she thought he meant.

"I mean this mysterious 'Harvey', the man you won't let me meet. The one you do everything for," he snapped bitterly.

"He's my boss, Mitchell, it's my job to do everything for him," she snapped back.

"He's a self-centred asshole," yelled Mitchell, "can't you see that Donna? He snaps his fingers and you go running, every time! For what? Ten years you've been his pet puppy, hanging on his every word. How many other men are you going to screw over for Harvey Specter? When are you going to get it into your head that he's not interested in you?"

Donna felt like she'd been hit by a truck. She couldn't believe Mitchell – her lovely, sweet, gentle Mitchell – was saying these things to her. He knew nothing about Harvey. How had she hurt him this much? Her instincts were to say things which would hurt him right back, but she buried her pain and composed herself instead. She would meet his anger with kindness.

"Mitchell, I told you I'm not apologising for who I am and I won't," she said gently, "but I do apologise for hurting you. I didn't mean to do that and you didn't deserve it. Harvey is my boss and he's my friend. That is all it's ever been and it is separate to my time with you. We've had fun but I don't think I can fit you into my life anymore. I'm sorry."

Mitchell's face changed, softening at her words. "I'm sorry too," he said, "I shouldn't have said what I said. It's just so frustrating, Donna. You deserve so much more than this life you keep settling for. I don't know why you can't see it. You should have better than this."

Donna knew he was right. She did deserve better, but she couldn't separate herself from the firm or from Harvey. She'd tried before and she'd been pulled back. She'd intentionally put distance between herself and Harvey when she went to work for Louis, but she eventually returned to Harvey. That was the power he had over her. "I'm happy with my life just the way it is, Mitchell," she lied, "but, you don't need to apologise for what you said. I needed to hear how you've been feeling and I accept I'm responsible for that. I wish you well, Mitchell, honestly I do. You're a good man. I hope you find somebody who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Mitchell's eyes watered, "I wish that could have been you," he said sadly, "goodbye Donna".

"Goodbye Mitchell."

Donna watched Mitchell leave before following him out of the apartment a few minutes later. She called a cab and headed straight for the office. She didn't feel sad that her relationship with Mitchell had ended. She only felt relieved.


	4. Chapter 4 - High as a Kite

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER FOUR – High as a Kite

Harvey had arrived at the office as soon as he could. Jessica and Claude were already there, mulling over their predicament, together with Louis and Julien. Robert Zane, hell bent on destroying Jessica's rebuild of the firm, had managed to get the SEC to freeze Roche & Roche's ability to deal in the US, thus preventing Pearson Specter Litt from taking the investment they were so desperate for. It transpired that the European firm was under investigation by the SEC in the US for alleged insider trading. A Dutch-American firm they represented from their Headquarters in Paris, via a loose partnership with Bratton Gould, had initiated a hostile takeover on a German corporation which they were also representing from their Frankfurt office. It was a disaster of miscommunication between two of their branches and they were going to have to pull a rabbit out of the hat to get the SEC to allow them to operate in the USA and fulfil their commitment with Pearson Specter Litt.

"I can't believe this is happening," said Jessica as she sat down at the head of the table in the larger of Pearson Spector Litt's conference rooms. "Goddamn Robert Zane," she muttered under her breath.

"Where's Rachel?" asked Louis, "can't we ask her to get her father to back down?"

"No," said Jessica, "I don't want to bring Rachel into this. She has enough on her plate."

"Wait a minute," said Claude Roche, "what exactly is going on here? Your government's SEC has blocked my firm trading in the US, why? Because of this man, Robert Zane? Who is he?"

"He was going to be Mike Ross's father-in-law," said Harvey, "and now he's as mad as hell."

"With who?" said Claude, "he's as mad as hell with Mike Ross? But he's in prison. What is the point of all this?"

"I'll tell you the point," said Jessica, "Robert Zane blames me for this whole scandal and for his daughter's involvement in it. Goddamn idiot! As if I made Rachel and Mike fall head over heels in love with each other. He's like a dog with a bone over this and it's going to take a miracle to get him to back down."

"This man is protecting his daughter then?" asked Julien Roche, "it is a matter of the heart which means it is bad news for us. There is nothing we can do."

"Julien, we need to be a little more positive here," said Claude to his brother, "we haven't tried to put this right yet. We need to give our friends a chance."

"Maybe, Louis is right, Jessica," said Harvey, "Rachel could put a stop to this. We should ask her."

"Rachel hasn't been to this office since Mike went to jail," snapped Jessica, "she's been to college a handful of times – college that I'm still paying for I hasten to add – but she hasn't set foot in here. She hasn't spoken to any of us aside from Donna and if we're honest, we've all been too busy here to give her a second thought. Have you spoken to Rachel, Louis? How about you, Harvey? No, I didn't think so. How's she going to react if we go knocking on her door just because we need a favour. None of us have given her the time of day for three weeks and yes, I know we've all been fighting to keep our heads above water, but she's lost her life all because Mike gave up his to save us."

"Donna could talk to her," said Harvey.

"Donna, could talk to who?" said Donna's familiar gentle voice as she arrived in the conference room at the exact point she was needed. Her timing, as usual, was impeccable.

Harvey and Jessica looked at each other while Donna waited for an answer. She watched their exchange of glances and saw Jessica give a nod to Harvey. "We were wondering if we should ask Rachel to have a word with her father," he said. "He's the one responsible for putting the blocks on our deal with Roche & Roche."

"He did what? Oh no," said Donna as she took a seat at the table. "I'm not sure if talking to Rachel about this is a good idea."

"Why the hell not?" asked Jessica.

"Rachel's taking things really hard at the moment," said Donna, her voice was filled with concern for her best friend. "And I mean she's taking things REALLY hard. She's not sleeping and she's not eating very well. She's a total mess. I don't think she'd be able to deal with anything else right now."

"Fine," said Jessica abruptly, "then I'm not willing to use her. Claude, we need you and Julien to sort your side of this mess out."

"We're on it already," said Claude, "this is just a minor error between two of our offices. An administrative error and nothing more. Julien and I already have people working on this in Paris. It is only a matter of time before we have a resolution. We are not worried."

"Also, there is the matter of EU law," added Julien, "it may take weeks for us to fight our way through the bureaucracy, but we can do it. The only issue here is your SEC and their regulations. We can't understand how they've managed to stop our deal going through."

"Neither do I, Julien, but I'm going to goddamn find out," said Jessica. "I need my team to go through this with a fine tooth comb. Harvey and Louis get straight on this and don't stop until you find something and I don't care how long it takes! Search back through every piece of legislation you can find to put a halt to the SEC. This deal needs to go through this week and if it doesn't, we're screwed. In the meantime, I'm going to pay Robert Zane a visit. Enough is enough. I need to put a stop to this."

Harvey watched Jessica leave the room. The Roche brothers made their pleasantries and left too. They were offered an office to work from but they both said they preferred their hotel, which Harvey found odd. He was still very wary of the younger brother. There was just something about him that he didn't like.

X

Harvey, Louis and Donna had worked nine hours straight before they finally took a break and ordered in some food from the sushi bar across the street. As they started eating there was an unnerving silence in the office. It was the type which invited small talk.

"So, how've you been, Louis?" asked Harvey. He caught Donna's approving smile at his attempt to show compassion and he mouthed 'what?' at her.

"Oh fine. You know …" said his one-time adversary, "I mean I haven't done much aside from work. Glad to be busy really. I haven't thought about much since Mike left. Sometimes I'm grateful that everything's gone to shit here. At least my mind has been on that instead of on Mike."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Harvey as he reached for an avocado California roll with his chopsticks, but failed. "Goddamnit," he said as he threw the chopsticks down and picked up the tray with his hands instead, choosing a few pieces and popping them onto his plate. "I'll do this manually if nobody minds," he said with frustration.

"You're quiet, Donna," said Louis. "Everything alright?"

"Me?" asked Donna. She looked like she was lost in thought. Louis nodded for her to continue talking. "Oh I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me. I just wish I could help more."

"You're helping loads Donna, seriously," said Louis warmly, "don't think like that. We couldn't do any of this without you."

"Oh, I think you could, Louis," she said with humour, "but thank you. You're very kind."

Louis smiled. "I just miss Mike, you know?" he said and his face crumpled. Harvey immediately felt uncomfortable. He found 'emotional' Louis terrifying.

Donna got up and moved to sit next to Louis on the sofa, putting her arm around him. "I know," she said, "we all do."

Harvey watched Donna comforting Louis and he smiled at her. This was what she was best at. Nobody could handle Louis like Donna. Hell, nobody could handle Harvey like Donna.

"Right, I have an idea and I'm not taking no for an answer," said Harvey as he jumped from his seat with a plan.

"What is it Harvey?" sniffed Louis.

Harvey walked over to his desk and took out a silver plated business card box.

"Oh no, Harvey, not that!" said Donna in surprise.

Harvey laughed. "Shut up," he said with a mischievous grin, "don't tell me you're chicken because I don't believe you. Come on, Donna. Mike would have had this thing with the SEC sussed by now. We need this. Let's do it for Mike, eh?"

Donna stuck her tongue in her cheek to stop herself giggling. "Ok then, why the hell not," she laughed.

"Wait … what the hell's going on?" said Louis. "Is this one of your weird rituals? I don't want any part of this. I swear if you get that damned can opener, I'm out of here!"

"Sit down, Louis," teased Harvey, "don't pretend you're not intrigued by the can opener when I know you're desperate to know everything there is to know about the can opener. Anyway, doesn't matter. This isn't about the can opener. This is about Mike and this …" he opened the business card box to reveal a little bag filled with a suspicious looking 'herb', "this right here is his gift to us."

"What the?" pouted Louis, "is that what I think it is?"

"Ah-ha," nodded Harvey, "it most certainly is. Louis Litt, may I introduce you to the last surviving descendent of Mike's stash."

"No way," said Louis. "You've got to be mad. You can't smoke that in here! And Donna, you're not doing it. I forbid it. Think of the by-laws!"

"Screw the by-laws," said Donna, "we've no partners to answer to. There's only us. We'll rewrite the goddamn by-laws."

"Re-write the by-laws?" huffed Louis, "my life's greatest achievement? How dare you!"

"Oh come on Louis," said Harvey, "we need this." He walked over to his bureau drawer and took out cigarette papers, tobacco and a lighter.

"Harvey, Jesus!" shrieked Louis.

"No, it's just Harvey actually," he quipped.

"It's like a goddamn drugs den in here," said Louis in horror, "where the hell have you got all of this stuff from. Are you dealing this shit?"

"Louis, Louis, chill out," said Donna, "it's just a teeny-tiny little bag of weed. We were saving it for a special occasion."

"It's a slippery slope, Donna," said Louis, "sure, it'll start with a sly smoke in Harvey's office, but it'll end with you selling your body and your hair and your goddamn teeth to sailors down at the Harbour."

"Louis, that's the plot of Les Miserables," said Donna, twisting her face into a comical grimace, "there was no pot smoking in Les Miz. I should know, I played Fantine a few years ago. I'd have remembered."

"You played Fantine?" said a highly impressed Louis, "Donna, that's a meaty part! But wait. I've heard you sing."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," said Donna rolling her eyes, "don't worry, it wasn't the musical version. It was a play based on the novel. But either way … still no weed."

"Drugs or not, this is what happens," said an exasperated Louis. "It's a universal truth that the second a beautiful woman starts taking illegal drugs she'll be selling her body before the week's out. What the hell's the matter with you Donna?"

"It's just one joint, Louis," said Donna dismissively, "I promise I will not try to sell you my body! Jeez, you need to relax. Remember, this is how Harvey and Mike discovered Hardman's plot to take over the firm."

"Bullshit!" said Louis.

"It's not bullshit, Louis," said Harvey laughing. He was sitting in his chair rolling the third of three joints. "I swear on all of our lives. Mike and I were as high as kites when we came up with that theory on Hardman. And we were right, weren't we?"

Donna picked up one of the joints and the lighter. "It's up to you, Louis, but I may as well tell you …" she said seductively as she walked over to Louis and put her arm around his shoulder. Harvey grinned. This was Donna at her best. "I may as well tell you how utterly, maddeningly, enticingly sexy I find men when they're stoned."

Louis looked like he was going to faint. He shot forward awkwardly and grabbed the last of the joints from Harvey, "right I'll do it," he said, "give me the goddamn lighter. Time for me to Litt this bad boy the hell up."

X

An hour later and Louis was passed out on the floor of Harvey's office snoring like a baby.

"Donna," said Harvey, "I haven't found a solution to the problem yet."

"Neither have I," said Donna giggling.

"Neither has Louis," said Harvey.

Donna started to laugh uncontrollably. She was onto her third joint and for some reason Louis's snores had suddenly become the most hilarious thing on earth.

"What are we going to do?" he said.

"I've no idea," she said. She was lying flat out on the floor next to him, holding her sides because she was laughing so hard.

"Donna," said Harvey.

"What?"

"How the hell has Louis fallen asleep?"

She laughed again, curling up into a ball until tears streamed down her face. She took deep breaths, but she was laughing so much that she couldn't get any words out.

"We need to do something like draw on his face or take his clothes or some shit … you know … we're wasting an opportunity here."

Donna still couldn't answer for laughing.

"Fine," said Harvey, "you keep laughing, but you'll be sorry tomorrow when you've let this opportunity pass. It'll not come round again."

"Harvey, if you want to take Louis's clothes off him … haha … then you be my guest … haha … but I'm not doing it."

"Fine," said Harvey as he wrenched himself off the floor into a sitting position. "shit, my back," he said. "It feels like I've been lying on a concrete slab. Is your back hurting?"

"No, but I'm not as old as you," she said.

"Excuse me," said Harvey, "you're not far off."

"I'm a looong way off," she giggled, "and I look it too."

"Donna," whined Harvey. He was having a fit of the giggles now too. "What are we going to do about the deal?"

"Ooh no, you've gone all serious," she pouted, "not tonight, eh? I'm so sick of being … worried. I was enjoying tonight."

"Me too," he said softly. He looked at her in full realisation that this woman was his soulmate and he was the luckiest man alive to have her after everything that had happened. "You're amazing you know?" he said.

"Yeah I know," she giggled, "oh wait, you're not?"

"What?"

"You're not being serious again, are you?"

"No," he said shaking his head, "well, yes, I am serious. You are amazing and I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Harvey, stop," said Donna. She tried to sit up but yelped holding her back. "Help me up!" she laughed.

Harvey grinned and took hold of her arm, dragging her up to a sitting position.

"Right, what did you say again," said Donna swaying on the carpet between giggles, "oh yes, I'm amazing. Wait. You're not going to tell me you love me again are you? Why did I sit up again? Shit, my ass feels like it's died."

Harvey started laughing again. "What the hell are we doing, Donna?" he said.

Donna leaned over and rested her arm on his knee, "we're having fun and it feels great," she said. She looked into his eyes and Harvey felt his stomach flutter in a way which unsettled him. He was afraid of that feeling because he'd been running away from it for years.

"Mitchell is a lucky man," he said sincerely, his expression full of genuine respect and admiration for his best friend.

Donna's face changed and Harvey instantly wished he hadn't mentioned her boyfriend's name. Why did he always say the wrong thing?

"Mitchell and I broke up this morning," said Donna.

"Oh, I'm sorry Donna," said Harvey truthfully, "he didn't hurt you did he, because if he did …"

"No, nothing like that. Mitchell was really sweet and kind. He just wasn't …"

"Wasn't what?"

"He wasn't you! He wasn't you! You fucking idiot!" yelled Louis.

They both looked at each other for an embarrassingly long moment – both of their mouths open in shock. They crept over to where Louis was still lying flat out on his back. He was still snoring.

"Louis, are you awake?" asked Harvey firmly.

"Zzzzzzzz" came the response.

Harvey and Donna looked at each other and started laughing again. "Well that was awkward," said Harvey, "he did say that, didn't he? He couldn't have said it in his sleep, surely?"

"God knows," said Donna, "this is Louis we're talking about. Anything is possible."

"What do you think we should do with him?" asked Harvey.

"Just leave him there," said Donna. "It's not like we'd be able to wake him up. I mean, what a lightweight! He only smoked one joint before he passed out! I'm nabbing the sofa. I need to sleep this off for a few hours."

"I'll take the chaise," said Harvey.

They both settled down in the office wondering if Louis's snores were going to keep them awake until morning. Harvey dimmed the lights leaving the Manhattan skyline to cast twinkling shadows into the office.

"Donna," said Harvey quietly a few minutes later.

"Uh-hum," said Donna.

"I am sorry about you and Mitchell," he said.

"I know you are, Harvey. Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5 - Elusive Faith

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER FIVE – Elusive Faith

"Harvey"

"Harvey"

"HARVEY!"

Donna woke up with a start. She was in Harvey's office and Jessica was standing over Harvey, one hand on her hips, the other hand's fingers drumming on his desk. She could see Harvey lounging on his chaise squinting up at Jessica as the morning sun rose over the city and streamed bright sunlight into the room. Jessica looked at her briefly and rolled her eyes. Louis was curled up in a ball on the floor. He was still snoring.

"What the hell has happened here?" she asked them both, "this entire floor smells like goddamn Woodstock."

"We were just chilling, man, you know, smoking some pot, man," said Harvey in a mock hippie voice. Donna tried to stop herself from laughing but a giggle slipped out. Jessica glared at her.

"How old are you?" asked Jessica, "and Donna? I'm shocked."

"He made me do it," said Donna jokingly. She realised Jessica was only pretend-serious. She wouldn't dare joke with REALLY-serious Jessica.

"The hell I did," laughed Harvey, "you didn't need any persuasion and neither did he." He gestured to Louis lying against his coffee table in the foetal position, a large pool of drool puddling on the carpet under his mouth. "We were just trying to recreate the magic, you know. Like what I did with … with Mike when we caught Hardman. It didn't work though."

Jessica sighed. "No, I didn't have much luck either. Robert's still mad. He said even if he wanted to undo what he's done with the SEC he couldn't. It's out of his hands now."

"Is Cahill still at the SEC?" asked Harvey.

"Yeah, I think so, but begging Cahill is our last resort. I don't want the entire city to know how desperate we are," she said. "Right, it's almost 7.00am. I've things to do and you need to get started again. That's if you're both finished with your little pot party."

"What if we weren't?" said Harvey with a mischievous grin, "you want to join us?"

"No," said Jessica with a smile. She turned around to leave, but stopped and looked at Louis. "How long has been like that?" she frowned.

Donna looked at her watch. "Oh probably for … what … ten hours?" she replied.

"Jesus Christ," said Jessica, "what the hell did you give him, Harvey?"

"He didn't even finish his first joint," laughed Harvey, "he's a total goddamn lightweight!"

Jessica grinned and walked over to where Louis was sleeping, nudging him with her foot. "Louis, time to get up and face the world," she said. No reply. "LOUIS! GET UP!"

Louis's eyes flew open and he bolted upright like Count Dracula in a Hammer horror movie. "The SEC can't block an international transaction without a section B98 sanction approved by the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court can't make that decision without just cause and just cause would be an actual criminal conviction, not an allegation which is still being investigated on both sides of the Atlantic. If they are in the process of investigating international legal malpractice then they cannot halt transactions which would have a negative effect on any one firm or corporation without that judicially sanctioned B98 order. In short, whoever Robert Zane strong-armed at the SEC will be getting their asses kicked by Pearson Specter and Litt."

Jessica, Harvey and Donna all stood with their mouths wide open in amazement.

"What are you all staring at?" asked Louis as he clambered off the floor clutching his back, "Jesus Christ how long have I been asleep?"

"About ten hours," said Harvey.

"Ten hours? Goddamnit Harvey why didn't you wake me up? We have work to do!" yelled Louis.

"Louis, all these years I've known you you've had more than a few genius moments," said Jessica with genuine admiration, "you're also responsible for some of the craziest stupid shit I've ever had the misfortune of having to put up with. But never … never in a million years would I have thought that all I needed to get the best out of you was to get you stoned."

Louis looked shocked. Then he looked frightened. "Jessica, I'm not doing this again. It's a slippery slope. I don't want to end up selling my body for money."

Donna laughed as she saw a mixture of horror and amusement flash across Jessica's face. "I think I need to leave. Get this place tidied up and do something about the smell. You may as well get yourselves home – it is Sunday after all. I'm going to ring Claude Roche and see if we can get hold of anybody at the SEC today." Jessica turned on her heel to make her exit, but she stopped in the doorway, "Oh, and next time you three get up to something like this … make sure you give me a call," she said with a wink, "that smell takes me back."

"What to?" said Harvey with a gigantic grin, "the sixties?"

Jessica shook her head in amusement, "very good, Harvey," she said, "it's too early on a Sunday for me to think of a retort so remind me to kick your ass tomorrow morning instead."

Harvey smiled widely and gave her a wink as she left the room.

"I think I'll get back home too," said Louis, "I'm not feeling too good. I think I need a good sleep."

"Louis, you've been sleeping for ten hours!" said Harvey.

"I treat my body like a temple, Harvey," said Louis, "you wouldn't understand. If my body is telling my brain I need to sleep then that's what I need to do."

"Erm, Louis, before you go can I ask you something?" asked Donna awkwardly. Harvey caught her nervous glance and shook his head to tell her 'no'. She mouthed 'what?' back at him and he frowned.

"Sure, Donna, what is it?" said Louis.

"Can you remember saying something to me last night … erm … something about why I broke up with Mitchell?"

"You broke up with Mitchell?" asked Louis with genuine surprise, "I'm so sorry Donna. I didn't know. I can't remember you telling me that at all. What did I say?"

Donna sighed with relief, "oh nothing Louis. Don't worry about it. I must have been mistaken."

X

Donna and Harvey spent the next hour or so tidying up the office and hiding the evidence of the previous night's misadventures.

"Fancy brunch?" asked Harvey.

"I don't think we're on brunch time yet, Harvey," said Donna squinting at her watch, "it isn't even 9.00am yet."

"Shit, really?" said Harvey, "well breakfast then, I'm starving."

"Sure," said Donna. "Just let me sort my face out and do something with my hair." Harvey smirked at the matted clump of red hair forming a nest at the back of Donna's head as she attempted to pat it down. "Don't worry I've a brush and full emergency make-up kit in my desk drawer. Two minutes."

"You'll need more than that," laughed Harvey.

Donna raised her left eyebrow at him. "And what do you think you look like?" she quipped.

"Devilishly handsome?" he asked, "entrancingly gorgeous?"

"Yep, something like that. I'll give you my brush when I'm finished."

"No need. I've my own emergency kit in my desk drawer."

"Of course you do," she smiled, "very manly!"

X

They made their way over to the café on the corner of East 54th Street and they both ordered a full English breakfast, with a pot of black coffee to share. It wasn't something they'd usually eat, but after the night they'd had, they both craved bacon and eggs.

"So do you think Louis discovered the loophole with the SEC while he was passed out?" said Harvey between mouthfuls of scrambled eggs.

Donna laughed. "Harvey, last night was so weird, I have absolutely no idea what the hell happened. Maybe he was semi-conscious the whole time and we were too stoned to realise."

"It was a good night, wasn't it?" said Harvey. "I haven't laughed so much for a very long time."

Donna, could read layers of hidden Mike-related meaning in his eyes. "Yes it was," she said, "I think we both needed it. It's been a hell of a few months."

"It certainly has," said Harvey. He had stopped eating and was fiddling with his fork.

"What is it, Harvey?" asked Donna, noticing he seemed to be mulling something over in his mind.

"Nothing," he replied, "it's just … well, I didn't get a chance to say thank you."

"What for?"

"For everything. From the second Mike got arrested until right now, sitting here. You're always there for me. And … "

"What?" asked Donna gently. She could tell he was trying to open up and she knew it was hard for him.

"And you've never lost faith in me. Not once. You were there for me right to the end."

"That's what friends are for, Harvey," she said, "you're always there for me too."

"Am I?" he asked.

Donna smiled at him. "I think so," she said softly, "unless there's something you're not telling me."

She was joking, but Harvey looked uncomfortable – as if he was trying desperately to find the right words. "We never finished that conversation, did we?"

"Which conversation?"

"The one which started in your apartment a year ago. When I told you that it didn't matter if anyone else lost faith in me, but that with you it was different."

Donna's heart leapt. Was he finally ready after all of this time to talk about that night? "No, we didn't finish talking, Harvey," she said, "are you telling me you're ready to talk now?"

Harvey nodded but he didn't look at her. Instead, he kept fidgeting with his fork, examining every curve of the utensil between his fingers and thumb.

"Harvey," she almost whispered, "you don't have to." She was saying it for her as well as for him. She was afraid of what he was going to say.

Harvey sighed, "I need to tell you," he said. "You deserve an explanation." He stopped fidgeting and looked at her. Donna could tell that this was really painful for him.

"I meant it when I said I loved you," he said, his eyes fixed upon hers. "You're the most important person in my life. I don't know how I'd have gotten through these last few months without you. Hell, I don't know what my life would be like without you, but …" he paused for a second and Donna's heart sank as she realised nothing good could come after a 'but'. "I do know how you feel about me, Donna. I know what you wanted that night, but as much as I could have given it to you, I didn't want to. I didn't want to risk spoiling what we have. You asked me if I saw you in 'that way' and the answer is I see you in every way, but that isn't good enough. I'm not good enough."

Donna felt tears pool in her eyes and she tensed up trying to hold them back. This was what she feared. "Why not?" she asked, "why do you think you're not good enough?"

"Because I'm me," he said. "I can't have a relationship with anybody. I've tried and I've screwed it up every time. Look at Scottie. I'd have had to become an entirely different person to make it work out with her. I can't change who I am."

"But I'd never ask you to change, Harvey," said Donna insistently. "I'm not Scottie."

"I know that, but, what I'm trying to say is … when I tried to have a relationship with Scottie there was no risk. I had nothing to lose. But with you, it's different. If I tried with you chances are I'd fail and then what? I can't lose you, Donna. I know that makes me a selfish prick, but that was why I was afraid that night. That is why I said, 'you know why I have to leave' when you asked me to stay. I told you I loved you because I was hurting you and I needed you to know that even though I was saying no to you, I did love you. And I do love you."

Donna looked down at her half-empty plate and nodded. "Okay," she said although she failed to disguise the disappointment in her voice.

"So, we're good?" he asked.

"I think so," she said, "but Harvey, how you treated me afterwards, I …" She sniffed in a bid to stop her tears from falling again but it was no good as she felt the wetness trickle down her cheeks. "Why did you treat me like that?"

Harvey sat back in the café seat and stared at the ceiling for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Well, according to Dr. Agard I have abandonment issues."

"That's not an explanation, Harvey," she said.

"It's the start of an explanation," he said earnestly. "You left me after I told you I loved you and I couldn't handle that. You hurt me and I wasn't thinking about you or why you left. I was only thinking of myself, just as I always do. You hurt me so I wanted to hurt you back. I'm sorry for every shitty thing I said to you back then and I wish I hadn't done any of it." He sighed and then he did something he never does. He reached forward and he put his hand on hers. She flinched, unused to the gesture from him as they never touched each other, but she soon settled. She understood that he needed to feel close to her as he talked through his feelings. "Donna, how I treated you after you left me to work for Louis is the best way of showing you why I can't risk what we have. Look at how I behave when things go wrong. If I screwed up … and I would screw up … then, I'd lose you forever. I can't lose you, Donna."

"You wouldn't lose me, Harvey, I'd couldn't leave …" she cries, her hand feeling fragile under the warmth of his touch. "… and I don't think you'd screw up either." She watched his dark eyes unlock from her gaze, but he kept his hand holding onto her hand protectively. "I have faith in you … I only wish you would have faith in yourself."

Harvey looked stunned and his face flushed dark red as he froze for a moment.

"Maybe one day I'll be ready," he said finally, before withdrawing his hand from Donna's and putting on his coat. He placed a couple of twenty dollar notes down on the table and put on his suit jacket. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said.

"See you tomorrow."


	6. Chapter 6 - Change of Scenery

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER SIX – Change of Scenery

Harvey Specter arrived at work much earlier than usual to get a head start on a new case and a new client. It had been three weeks since Jessica and Claude Roche had managed to get the SEC to waive their block on the investment deal with Roche & Roche and this was the day when, finally, they'd welcome their new team from Europe.

For the first time since Mike went to prison, Harvey was feeling optimistic about the future. He was starting to believe they would succeed in rebuilding the firm and he was looking forward to getting back into the bull ring. He had felt happy when he woke up that morning, but as usually happens whenever he felt upbeat over the last few months, thoughts of Mike languishing in Danbury surfaced in his mind and his spirits were dampened. He wondered if the guilt would ever go away.

Harvey strode confidently into the elevator and reached out to press the button for the 50th floor when a tall man in a grey suit nipped in quickly before the doors shut. Harvey looked the man up and down, eyeing his suit and wondering who his tailor was. The younger, fair haired man noticed, but didn't say anything.

When the elevator arrived at the 50th floor both men exited at the same time. Harvey started to make a beeline for his office but the other man stopped him. "Excuse me, can you tell me the way to the conference room please?"

"Yeah, that's it," said Harvey, pointing to the room straight in front of them.

"Ah, of course," said the man in a bland European accent, "I don't think I had a chance to talk to you at the welcome party last month, its Harvey Specter isn't it?"

Harvey nodded. "And you are?"

"Max Schmidt, Senior Partner, Frankfurt office," he said extending his hand. Harvey shook it and smiled.

"You're early," said Harvey, "welcome meeting isn't until 10.00am."

"I like to get a head start on things," said Max.

"A three hour head start?" said Harvey, his eyebrow raised as if to say, 'you got nothing better to do?'

"Absolutely, Mr Specter," said Max, "it will take me at least three hours to familiarise myself with the office and get accustomed to the layout of the firm. It's going to be my home for a while."

Harvey nodded and smiled at the German, "I guess it is," he said. "And I hope you're happy here. Look forward to working with you. Oh and … where did you get your suit?"

Max looked down at his clothes and then looked at Harvey, "why? Is it not appropriate?"

"No," said Harvey, "it looks like a good suit, that's all. I might check out your tailor."

"Oh, I see," said Max proudly, "in that case it's from Volkmar Arnulf in Berlin. I can get their details for you."

"Great, thanks," said Harvey.

"And your tailor? Who do you use?"

"Oh, nobody gets my tailor's details," said Harvey as he waltzed off down the corridor to his own office leaving a stunned Max Schmidt in his wake. Max didn't understand, but then that wasn't unusual for him when it came to people.

X

Donna arrived in the office half an hour after Harvey and poked her head through the door. "Someone set fire to your bed," she joked.

Harvey grinned at her. She was right to be surprised. He could count the number of times he'd arrived at work before her over the last thirteen years on one hand. "Busy, busy, busy," he said as she came in the room and perched herself on his desk, looking out the window over the view of the city.

"Harvey, I've been thinking," she said coyly.

"Ah-huh," he answered with trepidation. Her tone of voice told him she was up to something.

"Can I have my own office?" she asked with a cheeky grin, "I really really want my own office and … I think I deserve it? I was wondering … nobody is next door to yet, are they? And the office next door is technically closer to your office than my cubicle is so it would be much more efficient.""

Harvey smirked at her. "Except I wouldn't be able to see you," he said.

"You could drill a hole through the wall?" she teased.

"Ok, fine," he sniggered. He couldn't say no to her if it was something she wanted. "I don't see any reason why you can't have your own office, Donna, take the one next door."

"Seriously? You mean it?" she said jumping up from his desk with excitement. "I don't know where to start, it will need decorating and … can I have a new chair? I don't want black leather that's too lawyer-y, I was thinking something softer. Cream or maybe pastel …"

Harvey watched her with amusement as she wittered on about how she was going to style her new workspace. He couldn't believe how thrilled she was.

"You two look happy," said Jessica as she strode into Harvey's office dressed in one of her finest business suits, all ready for the important morning meeting. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Donna's going to have her own office," he said.

"Oh really," said Jessica with surprise, "well, that's a good idea, you can take your pick. It's not like we don't have quite a few to choose from. As long as you do your job as well from inside an office as you do from your cubicle, I don't see a problem."

"Oh, I absolutely will," said Donna insistently.

"Then that's great, but actually, Donna, I've been thinking," said Jessica, her tone changing from light-hearted to serious. "If you're going to take an office, then you probably should take on duties befitting someone who has an office. What do you think Harvey?"

"Erm … I don't know, but I'm ashamed to admit I'm starting to feel a bit scared," said Harvey with a gulp, hoping Jessica was joking, "I'm not paying her any more money, whatever happens."

Jessica laughed, "I'm just thinking of what we should put on Donna's door. What sounds best – 'Donna Paulsen, Harvey's secretary' or 'Donna Paulsen, Paralegal'?"

"Paralegal?" asked a very shocked Donna, "you mean you want me to do legal work?"

Jessica nodded. Harvey looked horrified. He really didn't like this idea. What was Jessica thinking?

"You've been doing legal work every day since Mike got arrested and you were just as competent if not more so than any one of our paralegals. I think it's about time we got you doing more than just answering Harvey's phone," said Jessica.

"She likes answering my phone," said Harvey, sounding like a petulant child.

"Let Donna decide, Harvey!" snapped Jessica, "Donna, its fine if you don't want this, but I think you should at least give it a go. You could be Harvey's personal paralegal. You already help him with some of his cases, so it wouldn't be a big stretch. We could hire some kid to sit out there and answer the goddamn phones. Well, to answer both of your phones I suppose."

Donna's face lit up. "I get my own secretary too," she said, her eyes were wide with astonishment, "I think I need a day," she said sitting down on Harvey's armchair. "Hey, do I get my own armchair?"

"Don't push it," said Jessica jokingly.

Harvey glared at Jessica, "we'll discuss it later," he said. He knew she could tell he wasn't happy. But he also knew she didn't care.

"Sure, just have a think about it," said Jessica. "You can sort out your team how you like Harvey, but I think this would work." She turned around to leave, but then remembered why she'd come in the first place, "oh, and just to remind you, the welcome meeting with the Roche & Roche team is still at 10.00am. I think I'd pre-assigned the office next door so I'll have to rejig things. We're filling up the dead space in this firm quite nicely now. I think we're up to a fifth capacity, which is great. Just need to get our hands on some more associates, but Louis is working on that. See you at ten."

X

Ten o'clock approached and Harvey left his office en route to the conference room. He passed Donna's new office and smiled at her arranging her things onto her new desk. He poked his head inside, "hey, you busy?" he asked.

"Yep," she said, "just feng shui-ing the lawyer-ness out and bringing the Donna-ness in."

Harvey chuckled. He didn't think Donna could be any sweeter than right now. He couldn't believe that getting her own office had made her so happy. "Well, it's almost 10.00am so we'd better get going."

"Where am I going?" she said.

"Conference room of course."

"I'm invited to the welcome meeting?"

"Of course you are," he said, "well you are if you're going to be the named partner's personal paralegal. So, get a move on, you can feng shui your office later."

Donna beamed, but then her face fell.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

She lowered her eyes and pouted. "I'm … erm … feeling something I've never felt before."

"What's that?" asked Harvey intrigued.

"Insecurity," she said with a trace of fragility to her voice. "That room's going to be full of clever lawyer-type people. Do you think they'll know I …" she dropped her voice to a whisper, "I don't fit in."

"Donna, don't be so goddamn ridiculous," said Harvey, "nobody in that room is better than you. We all have a job to do and this firm wouldn't be still standing if you hadn't been there for us, holding us all together. You're going to hold more than your own in that conference room, so get your ass down there and let's get this team back to the top where we belong. Besides, I need you to help me decipher all of those weird cultural differences and strange accents and … do you know there was this German guy in the lift this morning with a better suit than mine? What's up with that?"

"You're kidding me?" she said with mock surprise, "was he younger than you too?"

Harvey glared at her.

"Taller than you?"

"Erm … well," he said.

"Better looking than you?"

"No fucking way," he grimaced, "that's impossible!"

X

The welcome meeting had gone on for over an hour and Harvey had taken stock of the new blood that was going to be working at Pearson Specter Litt. Claude Roche, Managing Partner of Roche & Roche, had been called back to Paris leaving his brother Julien to head up the team of European lawyers as a new Senior Partner. Harvey didn't like Julien. He lacked the charisma and fire of his older brother and his negativity was draining. Julien's bitterness was undoubtedly the result of a life living in the shadow of his older brother and just like Louis and Jack Soloff, his neurosis and emotions were going to rule his thinking. Harvey didn't relish working with this man and he decided to keep as much distance as possible.

Seated next to Julien was newly promoted Senior Partner Max Schmidt – the German with the enviable suit whom Harvey had met in the lift earlier that day. Max was a financial powerhouse whose precision and perfectionism was going to rival Louis Litt's. Because he was more of an analytical expert, Max wasn't going to be a big player in the firm so Harvey didn't feel threatened by him, the flash suit notwithstanding. Max seemed to lack the charm and drive necessary to win big clients and make big deals, but he would be a key support litigator and probably a good, level-headed wingman.

Next around the table was Marina Stefanidis, a young senior associate from Greece who had been working at Roche & Roche's Paris office. Harvey hadn't noticed Marina at the welcome party, but he noticed her now and wondered how he's missed her given how good looking she was. In appearance, she looked a lot like Scottie, being petite with dark hair and dark eyes, however she lacked Scottie's ballsiness and was instead gently spoken, thoughtful and very polite. Harvey could tell from the way Marina talked at the meeting that she was bright and ambitious.

Finally, there was Stella Bart, the British woman who had made friends with Donna at the welcome party. Unlike the other three European lawyers present, Stella was loud, enigmatic and completely down to earth. Just like at the party, she wore her dark hair up and her make-up was perfect, the finishing touch being her already signature bright red lipstick. She had an unusual sense of style for a corporate lawyer, sporting a floral dress which accentuated her hourglass figure and reminded Harvey of a 1950s movie starlet. Stella seemed strong, confident and she had cracked more than a couple of jokes during the meeting, all of which had made Harvey laugh. He noticed Julien Roche didn't give her the time of day however, looking away when she spoke and changing the subject whenever she made an interesting point. There was definitely a story between them and Harvey was determined to find out what it was.

Donna was quiet during the meeting, taking notes and listening to what everybody had to say. Harvey caught her eye a few times, giving her a smile or nod in encouragement. He had also caught Louis a couple of times, noting that he looked surprised but pleased by Donna's promotion and he looked intimidated by Max's obvious financial expertise. He hoped there wasn't going to be a fight for financial supremacy between the two men because it would undoubtedly culminate in Louis falling flat on his face.

As the meeting ended, Jessica assigned Stella to help Harvey with his new case which was a hostile takeover between two independent publishing houses. Max was assigned to work with Louis and Marina was to assist Julien Roche with another new client they had acquired.

As Harvey and Stella left the meeting to head over to their client's office, Donna caught them both for a quick word.

"Harvey, we've a problem," she said.

"Oh no, what kind of problem?" he asked. He knew the day was going just a little bit too well already.

"A problem of the opposing council variety," she said.

"Goddamnit!" declared Harvey, "ok, give it to me Donna, who is it?"

Donna handed him the case file. "Shit," he said.

Stella looked over his shoulder at the file, "Dana Scott?" she said, "who's that?"

"My ex-girlfriend," said Harvey.

"Ooh you sound scared of her," said Stella, "tell you what, I'll lead the meeting for you. Call it my welcome to New York gift."

"No, that's okay," said Harvey with indignation, "I can handle it."

"Harvey, really, I insist. Besides, we can't have you getting all over-emotional and losing your shit at the sight of your ex-girlfriend. That would be embarrassing for a man of your age and this is an important client and it's our first day working together. Seriously, leave it to me. I'll help you keep it together. See you downstairs in five," said Stella, "I need a smoke," and she marched off down the corridor, her swishy skirt bouncing with every step.

Harvey looked at Donna, "shit, there's two of you," he said in mock terror.

"Told you she was awesome," said Donna.

X

The meeting at the publishing house went well. Scottie was her usual formidable self, but Stella completely blind-sided her with impeccable reasoning. Harvey was dumbstruck. He'd never seen this happen to Scottie before. The only person who had ever beaten her was him. Scottie agreed to settle the case, favouring Pearson Specter Litt's client and Stella closed the deal like a pro.

When the meeting was over, Scottie stopped Harvey for a word while Stella, cigarette in hand, went outside for a smoke.

"Woaw, she's a bit of a battle-axe, Harvey, I think you've met your match there," joked Scottie.

"I can handle her," said Harvey. He was still in shock over Stella nailing the deal in under 30 minutes. That would have been a record even for him.

"I've been waiting for you to call me," she said.

"I'm sorry Scottie," said Harvey. "I haven't stopped since Mike's trial."

"So I see," said Scottie. "Never thought I'd see the day when I saw you partnering with another firm again. Was it Jessica's idea?"

"Yes, but I agreed with her this time," said Harvey remembering how much he'd been against the merger with Scottie's firm, Darby International, three years ago.

"Good, I hope it works out for you," said Scottie genuinely, "and if you ever want to make that phone call, just pick up the damned phone, eh?"

"I will Scottie," said Harvey, "actually, I think I can do better than that. How do you fancy dinner sometime?"

"That would be great Harvey," said Scottie, "I'm free tonight actually."

"Good, I'll pick you up at 7.30pm," he said, "see you then."

"See you then."

X

Harvey left his new client's offices with a smile on his face, meeting up with Stella in the lobby.

"You look as pleased as Punch," said Stella.

"Pleased as who?" asked Harvey.

"Turn of phrase, never mind," said Stella. "So, you and her. What's the score there?"

"No score," said Harvey, "just two old friends meeting up, that's all."

"Meeting up? What for a date?"

"Mind your own business," said Harvey. "Jesus Christ, it's like having Donna mark two on my back."

"Good," said Stella, "just make sure you ask Donna mark one what she thinks about you going on a date with Scottie."

"I don't need to ask her, she'll be fine with it," said Harvey wondering why the hell he was talking about his love life with someone he'd known professionally for less than two hours. They went outside and got into his car. "Back to the office," he said to Ray.

"Ha! You think she'll be fine?" laughed Stella, "how do you know so little?" she said, continuing the conversation from the back seat.

Harvey grimaced at her in irritation, "what the hell has this got to do with you anyway?" he yelled.

"Nothing at all except I like Donna a lot. And you like her a lot and this other one … this Scottie … yeugh!"

"Yeugh? Seriously? That's what you want to say to me?" snapped Harvey. He felt trapped in the car and wanted to stop and get out. He wished she'd shut up.

"No, but 'yeugh' is better than saying she's a short, rabid, irritating pain-in-the-ass who whines when she talks … how did you put up with that … that whining?" she said putting on a 'whiney' voice for emphasis.

Harvey was lost for words. "Okay, you've made your point," he said. "I'll tell Donna … I don't know why the hell I'm talking about this with you … but I'll tell Donna I'm going to see Scottie for old time's sake. She'll be fine. Why on earth would she be upset?"

"You know why she'd be upset, Harvey," said Stella.

"What? You've only known her five goddamn minutes," said Harvey, "don't try and tell me about Donna."

"Somebody needs to tell you," she said. "Look call me an interfering old bag if you like, I really couldn't give a shit. But …"

"You're an interfering old bag," interrupted Harvey.

"Yeah, look at my face, this is me not giving a shit," she said making a comical 'happy' face which broke through Harvey's annoyance leaving him with a patronising smirk. "All I'm saying is it was obvious to me the second I met Donna."

"What was obvious?" said Harvey already knowing the answer, but he expected her to back down.

"It was obvious that she was in love with you and I didn't know until I met you today, but it's obvious you're in love with her too."

Harvey felt his face flush with embarrassment whilst his heart sent up a balloon of rage direct to his brain. He couldn't believe Stella's audacity, but he had to admire her for it. She was speaking her mind, even if it was none of her business. "You what? Look, I've no idea where you get off thinking you can say that to me, but … me and Donna know where we stand with each other," he said.

Stella laughed, "Okay Harvey," she said. "Whatever you say."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for the remainder of the journey back to the office. She knowing she'd said more than enough. He worrying about how he was going to tell Donna about Scottie.


	7. Chapter 7 - Just a Kiss

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 7 – Just a Kiss

Harvey was livid with Stella. They went their separate ways once they reached the 50th floor and he stalked back to his office, his head steaming with rage.

Donna was sitting at her desk going through some documents for Julien when she caught Harvey marching past her. She heard him bang into his office, throw something, then he slammed the door practically off its hinges. Her heart sank as she realised how furious he was and, instinctively, she rose from her chair and walked into the lion's den. She hoped his meeting hadn't been a disaster but with Scottie in the equation there was always a chance that things could go drastically wrong. It was why she'd been anxious about telling him who the opposing council on the takeover case was in the first place.

Harvey was already pouring himself a glass of scotch when she entered his office. "Harvey, what on earth has happened," she asked.

Harvey took a swig of the scotch and shook his head at her. She could tell from the bulging veins in his forehead and the flush of red skin at his neck that he was on the warpath.

"Scottie?" she asked nervously.

"Stella," he replied, his face twisted furiously.

"Oh," said Donna. She'd realised Stella was a force to be reckoned with the moment she had met her, but she couldn't imagine her getting Harvey in a state like this. "Did the meeting not go well?"

"No, the meeting went very well and Stella closed the deal for us," he said, his voice still edgy.

"Okay," said Donna, "then what is it? Did she and Scottie …"

"No Donna, nothing happened at the meeting. In fact remember before we left I made a joke that Stella was another you?" said Harvey loudly as he took another giant swig of scotch, "well she's not another you, she's another me! She wiped the floor with Scottie in that meeting. I've never seen anything like it. I wasn't expecting her to be better … I mean as good as me!"

Donna exhaled in relief, "really?" she said, her eyes wide with surprise, "she beat Scottie?" She knew Stella would be good, but she didn't think she'd be that good. Scottie was an excellent lawyer, so Stella must make for a formidable opponent.

"She beat her effortlessly, Donna" snarled Harvey, "she's as sharp as hell."

"Shit, Scottie must be pissed," said Donna.

"Scottie's fine," he said, "a little stunned maybe, but she's a professional. She'll just make sure she beats Stella next time around."

"So why are you so angry?" asked Donna, frowning at him suspiciously.

Harvey frowned back at her and shook his head in exasperation. "What the hell have you said to her about me?"

Donna froze, her mind racing trying to remember if she'd said anything she shouldn't. "To Stella? I don't think I've said anything," she replied.

"You don't 'think' you've said anything?" said Harvey.

"What am I supposed to have said? You'll have to give me more information here, Harvey."

"What have you said to her about us?" he snapped.

"Us? Nothing. Why?"

"Because I've just had to sit in my car while she berated me for a full half hour, telling me I shouldn't have asked Scottie out because that was going to upset you. Jesus Christ, Donna, I know you talk to Rachel and that's fine, she's your friend, but please, please, don't ever talk to that woman about me ever again. She's like a goddamn Rottweiler."

"Harvey, I haven't … I swear I haven't," said Donna. She was hurt that he was accusing her. "What do you take me for?"

"You've said nothing to her about us?" he asked, only half-believing her.

"No, I haven't, but I'm going to find out what the hell she's up to right now," said Donna as she swung around on her heel, left Harvey's office and marched down the corridor to Stella's office. She was pissed off. Stella had upset Harvey which meant she had upset her too.

Stella was on the phone when Donna burst into her office, "what the hell are you goddamn playing at?" she shouted.

Stella looked up and grimaced when she saw how cross Donna was, "Tom, I'll call you back, something's come up," she said. She set the phone down and fixed Donna with her bright green eyes. "Harvey?" she asked raising her sculpted eyebrows in anticipation.

"Yes, Harvey," said Donna, "I don't appreciate him getting back from a meeting with you full of hell because you've been saying stuff about me and him. What were you thinking? And, more to the point, what did you say?"

Stella flicked her head back and exhaled. She'd met men like Harvey before and he frustrated her. "Look, I know it was none of my business, but that whiney bloody woman, what's her name … 'Scah-ttie' … ugh! I just … well, I have this problem, Donna. I don't filter. Whatever enters my head literally comes straight out of my mouth and I told Harvey he …" she hesitated and twisted her mouth apologetically. "I told him he should think about how asking her out would make you feel and then …"

"Go on…" said Donna, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

"I told him it was obvious to me that he was in love with you?"

"WHAT! Why? Of all the stupid things, Stella! You had absolutely no right!" yelled Donna, "no right at all!"

Stella shrugged guiltily. "I know, I know, I'm sorry," she said then she sat back in her chair and looked to the ceiling, "wait a minute," she thought out loud, "am I sorry? No real harm done, is there? He needs to have a word with himself and at least I've given him something to think about."

Donna sat down in the chair opposite Stella. "It wasn't your place to say these things, Stella. He's really angry with you. Look, I know you were doing this for me, but you don't understand. Harvey and I have worked together for thirteen years and our relationship is complicated, so please … please don't ever speak to him about me again."

Stella sighed and nodded at Donna, "Okay, you're right," she said, "I know you're right. I stepped out of line and I'm sorry. I've a big mouth and I've spent my entire life trying to train it to be quiet, but …" she dropped her voice to a whisper, "… I'll try harder, I promise."

"Thank you," said Donna. She felt placated but she was still cross. She stood up to leave but stopped as she got to the door, "by the way," she said, "I heard you thrashed Scottie earlier. I'd have paid good money to see that."

Stella smirked mischievously, her green eyes narrowing beneath her thick eyelashes. "It was fun," laughed Stella. "What a whiney pain-in-the-ass she is. I wouldn't mind having another go!"

"Well, reserve me a seat next time," said Donna.

X

Later that afternoon, Donna looked up from her desk to see Julien Roche showing a young man around her cubicle. She tiptoed to the door to see if she could hear what was going on, but she was spotted by Harvey when he left his office to talk to them both and he waved her over.

"Ah, Miss Paulsen, please join us," said Julien. "May I introduce Antonio Conti who will be Harvey's new secretary. Antonio is a fully trained graduate of the University of Milan and he was with us in Paris for two years. See if you can get a handle on Mr Specter's filing system before the end of the day, Antonio. Oh, and you're to do whatever Miss Paulsen requires as well." Julien's manner was condescending and Donna could tell that the young Italian disliked him intensely.

"Wait a minute," said Harvey, "this guy's a lawyer?"

"He's an associate, yes," said Julien.

"Then why are you dumping him here?" asked Harvey suspiciously, "surely his talents can be put to better use in the associates pool?"

"If he had any talent of note we would be using it, Mr Specter, but as it stands, he is a disgrace to our profession, a blight on our firm and he needs to be taught a lesson," said Julien disparagingly. "This is Mr Conti's last chance. He has six months to prove himself and if he lets me down again, then he's fired. Either that or I'll send him back to Paris and let my brother sort out his own mess for once." Julien then turned to Antonio and looked him straight in the eye. "You only have yourself to blame for this, Antonio," he said. "You mess up on my watch one more time and I'll put you on a plane back to Italy faster than you can say spaghetti, do you understand me?"

Antonio merely glared at him. He didn't answer. Donna squirmed as she watched Antonio's expression. It was clear that these two men hated one another.

"My office!" he said to both Donna and Antonio once Julien had left the scene. Antonio was dressed sharply, but youthfully, in a 'trendy' as opposed to 'corporate' business suit and Donna noticed he was very good looking with sparkling blue eyes and an engagingly warm smile. She wondered what on earth he'd done to earn Julien's wrath.

They all sat down in Harvey's office, "okay what's the story?" he asked Antonio.

"Just as Monsieur Roche said, Mr Specter," said Antonio. He spoke beautifully with an almost musical accent. Donna felt herself thinking of him clad in Renaissance attire in a Shakespearean play. He'd make a perfect Romeo. "I'm afraid I haven't done the best work for him."

"Cut the bullshit," said Harvey. "What'd you do to piss him off?"

"I was late for work … erm … often. And I made errors. I lost one of Monsieur Roche's biggest clients."

"Were you his associate?" asked Harvey.

"Yes I was in the beginning, but not for the past year. His brother recruited me from Milan. Then, I asked to come here not realising he was coming too."

"Shit, bet that messed with your head," said Harvey with a grin. Donna watched him banter with Antonio realising immediately what Harvey was thinking. This young man needed a second chance. Just like Mike Ross had needed a second chance. "Okay," said Harvey, "you can get to grips with how I do things over here. Donna will show you the ropes … and Antonio?"

"Yes, Mr Specter,"

"Don't screw with me and don't screw with Donna. If you do I'll kick your ass back to Italy myself."

Antonio smiled warmly, his blue eyes sparkling brightly, "You have my word," he said as he took his place at Donna's old cubicle.

X

"What did you make of that?" asked Harvey.

"I'm not sure but between you and me, I think Julien Roche is bad news."

"So do I," said Harvey, "I got the measure of him at the welcome party." He wisely decided not to tell Donna about Julien asking if she was 'available'. "What's the deal with the kid? Why not just fire him if he's screwed up as often as he says he has? Why's he dumping him on us?"

"Stella will know," said Donna cautiously. She didn't know if Harvey was still mad with the audacious British lawyer.

Harvey picked up his phone and buzzed Stella, asking her if she had two minutes. She arrived moments later, "look, Harvey, I know what you're going to say. My bad and yes, I have no brain-to-mouth filter. I apologise, it won't happen again," she said as she trotted into his office.

Harvey waved away her apologies, "that's not why I've asked you here," he said. Stella looked relieved.

"We were wondering if you could shed some light on Julien Roche," asked Donna.

Stella's face dropped. "Ugh!" she said, "well I can tell you he's a nob," she said with attitude, her hands pressed firmly on her hips.

"A nob?" asked Harvey squinting his eyes in confusion.

"Yeah, a nob … you know … a dick, a prick, a wanker, a bell-end … need I go on?" said Stella.

Harvey and Donna both laughed. "No, I think we got you," said Harvey. "What's the story with him?" he asked pointing in the direction of the young Italian sat at Donna's old desk.

Stella looked shocked as she looked at the scene outside Harvey's office. "Wow!" she said, "never saw that coming. I didn't know Antonio had made the move over here too. Wait. Has Julien sent him to you?"

"Yes," said Harvey, "he's just told me that kid's my new secretary."

Stella's jaw dropped to her chest, "Fuck!" she said. "Seriously? That's not good … the fucking son-of-a-bitch."

Harvey and Donna both looked at each other with alarm. Harvey got to his feet, "right what's going on," he yelled, "do I need to call Jessica in? I'm trying to rebuild a firm here, I don't need this kind of bullshit. Full story right here, right now, Stella. You owe me."

"I don't owe you anything," said Stella defiantly. Harvey glared at her. "But, I will tell you because I want to. Julien, ugh, Julien, he's a dick. He hates everybody, except himself, and he's a shit lawyer. Believe me, I know this is easy for me to say given I'm an awesome lawyer, but Julien Roche is shit. Everyone knows he's shit, including his brother, but Claude's a good man and he keeps covering for him. Antonio came straight to us from university, hired by Claude directly and from day one he was brilliant, but Julien hated him. I don't know if Julien hated him because he was so talented or because of some other reason … but he made Antonio's life a misery. Well, anyway, that's as much as I know."

"What should I do?" asked Harvey.

"Use him to the best of your ability," said Stella. "Antonio is brilliant. If he were given to me, I'd snap him up."

"Okay, thanks Stella," said Harvey.

"So, am I forgiven?" she asked cheekily, shooting a mischievous wink in Donna's direction. Harvey frowned at her. "For now you are," he said, "now get your ass back to work."

Stella did a mock salute, "Aye, aye, Captain," she said.

"Oh wait, one more thing," asked Harvey. "What's Julien's story with you?"

"Me?" she asked, "Oh nothing really. He just hates me because I can't keep my mouth shut."

"Really," smirked Harvey, "go figure. Wonder why he thinks that."

"Ha! Me too," laughed Stella as she gave Harvey a friendly punch to the arm, "now ask me how much of a shit I give that that dickhead hates me?"

They both laughed again, then she waltzed out of the office and went straight over to greet Antonio, giving him a gigantic hug and starting a catch-up conversation. "Back to work, Antonio," shouted Harvey from his office. Stella turned and stuck her tongue out at Harvey, but then she hugged Antonio again before leaving him to get on with Donna's infamous filing system.

X

It was past 6.00pm, but Donna and Antonio were still working hard. She had introduced the young Italian to all of Harvey's key systems and he had entertained her for hours with his love of opera and the theatre. He couldn't wait to see his first Broadway show. Donna had really warmed to him and had enjoyed his company all afternoon. She liked the way he spoke and she loved how he worked. He was considerate and he was respectful, whilst also cracking a few jokes along the way. He reminded her very much of Mike when he first arrived at the firm, the difference of course was that Antonio had a law degree.

"Shit," said Donna suddenly as they were both sitting in her new office.

"What is it?" asked Antonio.

"I haven't finished the discovery Julien asked me to search through ready for his deposition tomorrow morning. Shit, shit, shit. I've just remembered and look at the time."

"Okay, don't panic," said Antonio calmly, "I can go through it with you, please, let me see if I can help you."

"Julien's going to mind if I give this to you, isn't he?" asked Donna.

"How will he know?" said Antonio eagerly. "Here, let me have a look." Donna passed the file and box of discovery documents to Antonio. She had only spent a few hours with him, but she already liked and trusted Antonio and she was never wrong about people. She could tell he had a kind heart.

Antonio worked away at Julien's case while Donna finished setting up Harvey's diary for the week ahead. When he had finished she thanked him and sent him off home. She told him she'd enjoyed working with him and he had said he was looking forward to coming back in tomorrow. He left by telling her that Julien's punishment had been the best thing that'd happened to him all year.

Just as she was about to leave, she passed by Julien's office with the case file. Julien was still there, "ah Donna, come in," he said, "please take a seat. Is that the Hanrahan Holdings file?"

"Yes, just finished it for you, but I'm off home now, so if there's nothing more …"

"I believe I said take a seat," said Julien firmly, looking up at her through dark rimmed reading glasses. She was a little taken aback by the forceful tone in his voice, but she sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

Ten minutes passed and Donna was still sitting waiting for Julien to finish reading through the file. She was starting to feel very uncomfortable. Finally, Julien looked up from the documents, removed his reading glasses and looked at her. "Did you do this work?" he asked her.

"Yes, of course," she lied. 'Shit' she thought. She hoped she'd answered convincingly as she was usually a terrible liar.

Julien rose from his seat, walked around his desk and sat on the edge of it clasping his hands together in front of him. "I'll ask you again Donna," he said as he bent forward and fixed his dark eyes upon hers. He was so close that Donna could feel his breath on her face and she felt so uneasy that she had to fight her instinct, which was to stand up and walk away.

"Yes, I did the work," she lied again.

"Well, that's funny Donna because I've just read through it and I'm afraid it's too good to have been done by you. You don't have the experience or the training, plus I have worked with Antonio Conti for two years. I know how he writes and this has his name written all over it. So, I'll ask you again, did you do this work?"

Donna had had enough now. She didn't take this kind of shit from anyone. "Antonio and I worked on this together," she said as she stood up abruptly, forcing him to shift backwards on his desk. "I'm going home now. You have your file and I've nothing more to say."

She turned to leave but as soon as she did, Julien reached forward and grabbed her hand, "wait," he said as he held onto her.

Donna jumped and recoiled from his touch, "what the hell do you think you're doing?" she said in total shock at what had just happened. Her heart was racing.

Julien stood up and walked towards her forcing Donna backwards until her back hit his office wall. She jumped again and automatically shut her eyes.

"I don't think you understand, Donna," said Julien coldly. He was standing so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his body through his clothing. "I specifically told you this afternoon that Antonio Conti was now Mr Specter's secretary and that he wasn't to practice law for six months as punishment for his poor performance. You have blatantly disregarded what I said to you and you have lied to me twice."

"Julien. Move aside, please as I am walking out of this office right now."

"I'm not finished yet," he said firmly. "Why shouldn't I fire you?"

Donna raised her head and looked him straight in the eye. She wasn't going to let him intimidate her. "Because I don't work for you and you can't fire me," she retorted confidently.

"Ah yes, you're right, you don't work for me. I'll have to fire Mr Conti instead. That'll be all, Donna, you can go."

Donna didn't move.

"You're still here?" snapped Julian patronisingly, "I thought you were going home."

"You can't fire Antonio," said Donna.

Julian smirked cruelly, "I think you'll find I can, in fact I'm going to do it right now." He walked to his desk, picked up his cell phone and walked back over to Donna who was still standing in the corner of the room, tears now forming in her eyes. She was breaking and she couldn't stop herself.

"Please," said Donna, "please don't fire him. This was my fault."

Julien started to search through his cell phone's address book. "I am going to fire him Donna, unless …"

"Unless what?" asked Donna.

Julien put his phone in his pocket and moved in closer to Donna, resting his arm on the wall behind her. His face was inches from hers. "Unless you kiss me," he said.

Donna's insides churned and she felt nausea rise up from her stomach and burn at her throat. "What?" she said in disgust, "what did you say?"

Julien hadn't broken his penetrating lock on Donna's eyes and she could feel his breathing on the side of her cheek. "I said I'd let Antonio keep his job if you kissed me." He smiled seductively at her and he let his gaze wander over her face, her hair and then her neck. "It's just a kiss," he added, "that's all. Let me kiss you and I'll back off Antonio for good. You have my word."

Donna felt like the bottom had crashed out of her world. How the hell was she in this position? She was standing in an office in the building where she'd felt safe for years with this disgusting man and she felt terrified. She'd never felt so scared in her life. Julien made her feel sick, but she thought of her afternoon with Antonio and how sweet he had been. This was her fault, not his. She had neglected the work and Antonio had gone out of his way to save her skin. She couldn't see him lose his job, his second chance and his new life in New York all because of her. Her skin crawled and she was trembling with shock. All she wanted to do was scream for Harvey, but instead her entire body was frozen. She closed her eyes and nodded at Julien.

Then the next thing she felt was his warm, salty lips on hers. The kiss lasted seconds but it felt like hours. He held her by her shoulders as he sucked gently on her mouth and let his tongue glide inside. She didn't dare open her eyes.

Then she pushed him off. She felt sick, she was sweating and her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to explode. She ran out of Julien's office, raced to an elevator, flagged a cab and went straight home to her apartment where she promptly vomited into her kitchen sink. She went to bed early, her mind racing with what she had allowed to happen and she hated herself for it. She felt cheap and she felt disgusting. She didn't know how to right the enormous wrong she'd done, but she knew she'd have to think of something and wondering about what she could do kept her awake all night.


	8. Chapter 8 - Old Time's Sake

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER EIGHT – Old Time's Sake

Harvey met Scottie outside her place and took her to Santina on Washington Street. It was somewhere they'd gone during the time they were together and he remembered how much she enjoyed their grilled fish.

They talked business over dinner. Scottie regaled him with her most recent successes and how she had just made senior partner at her firm. Harvey was pleased for her. She had ambition which matched his own and she was tenacious in the pursuit of her goals. Harvey wondered if that was why he'd been attracted to her in the first place – she was the female version of himself: Smart; successful; brilliant; domineering; confident; beautiful. Did he just say beautiful? He laughed inwardly at his own narcissism. Yeah, he knew he was good looking!

After dinner they retired to the bar at Santina, sitting next to each other on a plush velvet sofa which complimented Scottie's dark burgundy dress. He always liked how she dressed. She was always immaculate in appearance and she always chose the perfect outfits to accentuate her petite frame. He wasn't sure of her new hairstyle … yet. He preferred her dark hair long. The way it used to be when they were together two years ago.

They sat together talking about old times at Pearson Specter – without the Litt. Scottie recalled her face-off with Louis. 'How the hell did he get his name on the door?' she laughed as they remembered how she'd nipped in to steal one of his cases the week she started working at the firm. Louis had been livid and, as always, he'd made her suffer for it, although she'd more than held her own with him. Then, Harvey had stepped in and made her give Louis the case back. Harvey looked down at his shoes when she mentioned that. He'd had to do it to protect Mike's secret, but he was ashamed of the memory. She'd always blamed Mike for their break-up.

"Let's not talk about that," said Harvey with sadness in his eyes, "that's water under the bridge."

Scottie looked at him, narrowing her eyes and letting out a sigh. She loathed Mike Ross, but she needed to let it go before she ruined their night. "Fine," she said, "I promise never to mention his name again."

Harvey sighed and fixed his eyes upon his drink, swirling the beige liquid around in his tumbler.

"I was sorry when I heard about what happened to Mike, Harvey," she said placing her hand on his arm. "I know that would have been hell for you to go through. I know me and Mike had our differences, but he didn't deserve prison."

"Thank you, Scottie," said Harvey. He knew she meant what she said.

"So," she said as she removed her arm and sat further back on the sofa. "Stella Bart? What's the deal with her? You could have warned me this morning," she laughed raucously as she remembered the meeting they'd both had earlier in the day. Stella had beaten her, winning big for their client and Harvey had been pleased she had taken the hit so well.

"I didn't know," said Harvey, his eyes wide conveying his mutual astonishment at Stella's performance. "I'd only known her a few hours before the meeting, so you can't blame me! Believe me, I'd have warned you if I'd done my research."

Scottie giggled and took a sip of her white wine, "I forgive you then," she said. "I didn't see it coming, I mean what's with the florals? She looks so innocent … then … wham! I don't mind telling you she scares the shit out of me! That's not good."

"I think that's the idea," said Harvey as he laughed with Scottie, "she likes to surprise people. She's okay though, you know? She's a goddamn fierce lawyer, but she's a good person. You'd like her if you got to know her."

"Yeah, I think I would," said Scottie. She was looking intently at Harvey. He looked back and was captivated by how lovely she looked. She fluttered her eyelashes as she took another drink and he felt his face flush. It was as if they'd never been apart, but there was something in the back of his mind hammering away at his enjoyment of the moment. He could hear Stella's clipped British accent ringing in his ears, 'It was obvious that she was in love with you and I didn't know it until I met you today, but it's obvious you're in love with her too.' He broke his gaze and he looked away. He felt disloyal. He felt disloyal to Donna.

"What's up?" said Scottie as she moved closer to him.

"Nothing," he lied. "I'm having a good time. It's great to see you."

Scottie watched him intently, the corners of her mouth tweaked upwards as if to say, 'I know'.

"Harvey, come on. How long have we known each other?"

Harvey wanted to change the subject. "So, you've been in therapy," he said recalling a conversation they'd had a few months back during Mike's trial.

Scottie sat back again and sighed, she didn't want to press him so she accepted the topic switch. "Yes, you know, just working through a few things."

"Anything to do with me?" he asked.

Scottie laughed, her eyes wide with surprise, "oh my god you are without a doubt the most self-absorbed man on the planet." Harvey smirked. "No, Harvey, my going to therapy had nothing whatsoever to do with you. I found it … useful. That's all." She shook her head at him, but she wasn't cross. "However, what is far more intriguing than me going to therapy is you going to therapy. How did that come about? Anything to do with me?"

Harvey laughed. "No, Scottie, nothing to do with you," he said. He deserved her sarcasm. "Well, actually, it was a little bit to do with you. We covered why I'm so goddamn awful at relationships."

"You weren't that bad," teased Scottie.

"Thanks," he said, one eyebrow raised in acceptance of a comment he took as a joke.

"So, are you 'fixed' now?" asked Scottie, her voice lowered to a soft whisper, "are you now New York's most eligible bachelor?"

Harvey smirked widely. "I'll let you know," he said. They both shared a moment, watching each other, remembering the way things were, wondering?

"Harvey," said Scottie, "I don't know how to say this but, if you ever want to give me and you another shot then … well …"

"Scottie," interrupted Harvey, "please … I"

"It's fine. It's okay," she said abruptly, "Jeez I don't know what I'm thinking. How much wine have I had?"

Harvey took Scottie's hand in his. "We've been there, Scottie," he said gently, "we've been there more than once and why it didn't work was …"

"Because you were always in love with somebody else?" ventured Scottie bravely.

Harvey flinched, withdrew his hand and gasped in shock. "What?" he said furrowing his brow in confusion, "what on earth are you talking about?"

"What made you go to therapy, Harvey?" asked Scottie.

"Shit to do with my mother, actually," said Harvey angrily, "so, you can imagine how I'm feeling right now that you're accusing me of cheating on you."

Scottie sighed and moved closer to him, placing her hand on his knee, "Harvey, I'm not accusing you of cheating on me, I'm saying that I think you've always been in love with somebody else. What made you go into therapy, Harvey, because I know you didn't wake up one morning and suddenly decide you needed to resolve your mother issues?"

"I started to have panic attacks," he admitted reluctantly, "and they started when … they started when Donna left me to go to work for Louis."

Scottie held her gaze on him and nodded in acceptance. She didn't have to say anything. It was exactly as she'd expected.

"But I'm not in love with Donna, Scottie," he said, "and to be honest, I'm getting really goddamn tired of people saying that to me."

"Harvey, you can't live without Donna," said Scottie. She was insistent, but she wasn't angry. "I'm not saying these things to psych you out, Harvey, but looking back I always blamed Mike and his secret for our break-up when if anything, I should have blamed Donna."

"Donna never did anything to hurt our relationship, Scottie," said Harvey, "she pushed us together. There would have been no 'me and you' if it hadn't been for Donna."

Scottie flicked her hand dismissively, "I'm not saying she did anything purposely, Harvey, I'm saying it was impossible for me to share you with her. You never confided in me. Whenever anything happened at work or you needed some advice it should have been me you came to, but you didn't. You always went to her."

"Yeah, that's because she's my best friend, Scottie," said Harvey. He was starting to get angry with her accusations.

"Donna never liked me, Harvey," said Scottie, "I always knew that."

"Sure she did," said Harvey, raising his voice a little bit. "She didn't say anything bad about you, not once, except …" 'shit' he thought.

"Except what Harvey?"

Harvey finished the last remnants of his whiskey, popped the glass on the table in front of them and stood up to leave. He'd call a cab and get Ray to take Scottie home. It was the least he could do after ruining their evening.

"Oh fine, walk away," she said, "you really want to leave things like this? 'Except' what, Harvey? What did she say?"

"Except she told me you were always trying to find a reason to be pissed with me."

Scottie gasped and shook her head knowingly. "And there we have it," she said. "The inference being that she's never pissed with you."

"No, that's not what she meant."

"Maybe not, but that'll be how you took it," said Scottie, "I was right all along. You know, I once asked her if she was in love with you. She said she wasn't but I didn't believe her. Everyone at the firm wondered about you both. I'd heard the rumours. I'd heard about Louis asking her if she was in love with you during a mock trial and she had refused to answer. I didn't stand a chance from day one, did I? Why did she leave you for Louis, Harvey? Tell me because I can't ever imagine her leaving you off her own back. What did you do?"

"Scottie, drop it," he said, "I didn't come here to talk about Donna, I came here because I wanted to talk about you."

"Don't change the subject, Harvey. You owe me an answer to this. Tell me there's a good reason you didn't give a shit when I left you. Tell me there's a good reason you didn't fight for me! Why did Donna leave you?"

"She left me because she wanted more and I … well I didn't want to spoil what we had."

"She wanted more?" said Scottie sadly. She had known, but hearing him say it hurt her deeply. "Well, Harvey, now that Donna is back at your desk I'd forget about trying to find another woman to share your life with because they won't stand a chance either. Not while she has that kind of power over you. Don't you see what she does to you?"

Harvey felt anger build up inside of him. This had nothing to do with Donna and he didn't want to hear any more. "You know Donna would be hurt if she knew you'd said that about her. Why we ended … that wasn't down to Donna, Scottie. That was down to me. I wasn't ready for a relationship with you and I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship with anybody. If you're honest, you weren't ready for a relationship with me either so I think you need to stop looking to blame other people. If we'd had something worth fighting for Mike and Donna wouldn't have come into it. I care about you, hell I love you, I'll always love you, but we're not good together, Scottie. We weren't meant to be."

Scottie was crushed. This wasn't how she'd expected their evening to end.

"Take my car home," he said placing some notes down on the table to pay their tab. "I'll get a taxi."

Scottie snatched up her bag from the sofa and narrowed her eyes at him. She looked angry and Harvey knew there was no going forward … and no going back.

"I don't want your car, Harvey," snapped Scottie, before storming towards the restaurant exit, but when she reached the door she spun around on her heel to look at him and she smiled. "I'll see you around," she said.

Harvey smiled back. "See you around."


	9. Chapter 9 - Settling the Score

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER NINE – Settling the Score

Donna Paulsen got out of the elevator on the 50th floor with her head held high. She was dressed in one of her favourite black dresses – the one with a criss-cross halter neckline and a slim gold-buckled belt. It was plain and simple and reflected the aura she intended to give off today – that she was here to work.

She strode confidently down the corridor, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other so that nobody would doubt her. Inside was a different matter. Inside she was afraid. Inside she hated herself for letting this man get the better of her. She reminded herself that it was only a kiss. It had lasted less than 30 seconds and even though she'd hated every second of that 30 seconds to the point her stomach lurched whenever she thought about it, it was done now and she was going to let Julien Roche know that he was never going to do anything like that to her again.

As she arrived at her corner of the building she walked straight past her new office and popped her bag down on her old desk out of habit. When she realised where she was, she smiled, spun around and caught sight of a bouquet of red roses on her new desk. Her stomach lurched again. They were from 'him'. She didn't have to read the note to know. She walked cautiously into her office and picked up the card, her skin getting clammy as she recalled the scent of his body, his touch as he held her arms and his taste on her lips. Her hands were shaking as she opened the pink envelope and removed the note. 'I'm sorry,' was all it said. She breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he was sorry after all? The apology and flowers made her feel less intimidated. Last night, while she lay awake in her bed, she'd decided to confront him head on about what he'd done and that was exactly what she was going to do.

Harvey wasn't in his office yet so she took his absence as an opportunity to see Julien. She didn't want to answer any awkward questions from Harvey, so she'd take the flowers with her. One thing was certain. She didn't want Harvey to know what she'd allowed to happen last night. She couldn't bear him thinking badly of her and as she was ashamed of herself, she thought Harvey would be ashamed of her too.

She picked up the roses and carried them down to the corner of the 50th floor which was taken up by the Roche & Roche team. She started to shake as she drew closer to Julien's office but she focussed on the fact she was 'Donna' and that nobody was going to make her feel like this. She was going to settle the score before things had a chance to get out of hand.

She walked past a cubicle staffed by a blonde haired woman with bright blue eyes. She hadn't noticed the woman at the welcome meeting and she was in no mood to make pleasantries with her now. She was obviously Julien's secretary.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked as she noticed Donna's determination to enter Julien's office.

"I need a word with Julien," she said abruptly, not meeting the secretary's gaze. It wasn't like her to be rude to a colleague she hadn't been introduced to yet, but a discussion about Julien with Julien's secretary was the last thing she wanted.

"He's with somebody at the moment," said the woman firmly, "you'll have to wait." She had a slight accent which Donna couldn't place, but it wasn't as strong as Julien's or Antonio's. Her blonde hair was waved into an up-do and she wore a smart white top with lace detail. She looked older than Donna by quite a few years, but she was very attractive. "I can buzz you when he's free. It's Donna, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, and free or not, I need to see him now." She dumped the vase of flowers onto the secretary's desk, then swung into Julien's office to the sound of the blonde lady apologising to him for her interruption.

"You, out!" she said to the German senior partner, Max Schmidt, as she stood in front of Julien with her hands on her hips. Max looked at Julien with surprise, not knowing what to do, but he looked like he wanted to run. Donna glared at Max as an uneasy silence filled the room. Julien looked up at Donna from beneath his reading glasses, "it's okay, Max," he said. "We can finish this later."

The tall German stood up from his chair and nodded politely to Julien. "Miss Paulsen," he said as he scurried past her and left the office. Donna turned around and closed the door after him.

"Mademoiselle Paulsen, what a pleasure," said Julien calmly, his tone of voice laced with condescension.

"Is your intercom on," she said, "is your secretary listening to this?"

"What? Of course not. Ingrid has never listened to my conversations."

She looked over her shoulder at Julien's secretary. She was talking on the telephone. She knew that she was in the minority when it came to listening in to her boss's private conversations, but she needed to check she didn't have an audience before she said what she needed to say.

"Good, because I wouldn't want anybody to hear what I'm about to say to you right now." Donna stepped forward and placed her hands on Julien's desk, leaning over him and making him look up to meet her gaze. It was the exact dynamic she had planned and the only one which she would accept. Julien Roche would never look down on her again.

"Okay, Donna, what do you want to say me?" asked Julien coolly. She could tell he was enjoying the confrontation and it took all the strength she could muster to stop herself from slapping him.

"I wanted to tell you that you make me sick," she said confidently, her eyes staring him down, unwilling to waver. "What happened last night in this office was without question the most repulsive event of my entire life and don't you ever … ever … even think about doing anything like that to me again! I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but this stops now."

Julien took in everything she said, but sat expressionless at his desk. Donna found him impossible to read.

"I do not work for you and if Jessica asks you to get me to do something, you will make your excuses. You have a full team, so there's no reason for you to seek me out. I will not do any work for you again and I will not come into this office ever again. Oh and the same goes for Antonio. He is on our team now, not yours."

"Are you finished?" asked Julien.

Donna stood up tall and folded her arms protectively in front of her. "Yes. I am completely finished with you," she said.

"Good, then let me speak," he said. He stood up and moved over to his sofa, motioning for her to join him. Donna refused, shaking her head, so he sat down alone, crossed his legs and rested one arm casually on the back of his couch. He looked at her and sighed. "I am sorry," he said. "That is why I sent you the flowers. I wanted you to know that. I don't know why I … it won't happen again."

"You're goddamned right it won't happen again," said Donna. "If you so much as look at me again then I'll slap your sorry face into next week."

Julien looked amused. "Well you won't do that," he smirked disparagingly, "but I understand you're angry, so I'll let the remark pass." He then stood up and walked towards her. Donna instinctively took a step backwards making him pause and hold his hands in the air in mock 'surrender'. "Look, Donna, I said I was sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. It's just I find you attractive and I wanted to kiss you. What is so wrong with that?"

"You don't 'make' people kiss you, Julien. What the hell was that supposed to mean to you? How does that even make sense in your head?" She was exasperated and couldn't believe what Julien was saying to her. "You found me attractive, so what? You forced me to kiss you? Julien, you FORCED me."

Julien, for the first time, looked uncomfortable and his gaze shifted. "I did not force you," he said.

"What? Yes you did!"

"Okay then," he said sheepishly, fixing her with his dark eyes again, "I'm sorry. You're right. Forgive me, but I am going through a painful divorce at the moment and I just wanted to … to feel close to somebody? I think I'm … well, my head is a bit messed up."

Donna felt her anger dissipate. Of course there must be a reason for his behaviour. No sane person could think what he'd done was acceptable. "Fine, as long as we're clear that this stops now."

She turned around and walked to Julien's door.

"Donna?" he called to her as she left.

"What is it now, Julien?"

"Tell me the truth. Did any part of you enjoy kissing me last night?"

Donna sighed heavily. What was he thinking asking her this? "No, Julien, no part of me wanted to kiss you last night. I felt scared and afterwards I felt disgusted. I can't say this any clearer, so please listen to me. Do not come anywhere near me again. I don't want anything more to do with you, but unfortunately we have to work in the same office so just … just keep your distance."

X

Donna marched back to her safe corner of the floor with a smile on her face. The matter was resolved. She had done exactly as she'd planned and she felt relieved. She would put the matter behind her and move on. She popped into the ladies' restroom on her way back to her office, her bladder responding to the two cups of triple mocha latte she'd devoured first thing in the morning in a bid to replace the night's sleep she missed with a caffeine buzz.

As she was washing her hands she heard the door shut behind her.

"Rach!" she beamed and she immediately ran to her best friend, swallowing her up in her arms. "Rach, I haven't heard from you for weeks. Are you okay, why are you here?"

Rachel smiled at Donna, but she couldn't disguise the sadness in her eyes. "I was summoned by Jessica," she said.

"Summoned?" said Donna, "oh, that doesn't sound good. Come, let's sit for a bit." They moved to the little seat next to the toilet stalls. It was their spot. It was where they had found themselves talking over their woes during Mike's trial.

Donna knew that Rachel had taken Mike's arrest badly, but the sight of her best friend who was once so vivacious and full of life shocked her to the core. Rachel was dressed in a smart coat, with her hair tied back revealing a much thinner face. She had lost all of her sparkle and Donna was worried for her.

"So," said Donna, "how have you been?"

Rachel fought to stay strong but her eyes watered as soon as she heard Donna's voice, which was full of concern and kindness. "Not good, I guess," said Rachel. "I'm staying with my parents most of the time. My apartment reminds me so much of Mike and it's empty without him."

"Do you see him often?" she asked. She felt guilty that she hadn't made the trip to Danbury yet. Harvey had visited Mike a couple of times, but he hadn't wanted to talk much about it with her.

"I go up a few times a week," said Rachel, "he's doing well, Donna. He's so strong and he's helping people while he's in there. He's giving them legal advice, can you imagine? Anita Gibbs' head would be spinning if she could see him."

Donna smiled widely and she could feel her own eyes fill with tears at the thought of Mike using his time – and his talents – to help others. That was him to a tee. She couldn't wait for him to come home, but she was pleased to hear he was coping well.

"So, what did Jessica want?" asked Donna.

"She wanted me to come back to work, but I'm not ready yet. I'm trying to concentrate on school. My dad's been helping me out and he wants to take over Jessica's paying of my tuition because … well he doesn't want me back here, in fact I think he'd never speak to me again if I did come back."

"How do you feel about us, Rach? This is the first time you've set foot in the firm since Mike left. Why? I mean I know things have been tough, but I thought I'd see you. You stopped returning my calls."

Donna felt Rachel stiffen and purse her lips together. She didn't want to talk. "Rachel, please," she said, "let me help you."

"You can't help me!" shouted Rachel as she rose from the seat, "nobody HERE can help me!"

Donna was shocked by Rachel's sudden outburst. She knew she was upset, but she couldn't imagine any reason why she'd be angry with them. "Rachel, what is it? Please tell me. Tell me why you cut me off."

"I didn't cut you off, Donna, I cut him off," said Rachel, fixing Donna with her eyes and emphasising the 'him' so she knew precisely who she was referring to.

"Harvey?" she said in dismay, "why? Rachel, Harvey did everything he could … and …"

"And he's sitting in his office, practicing law, drinking scotch, sleeping with women, throwing parties … he has everything and Mike has nothing and I can't bear it. He did it too, Donna, and where's his punishment? It's not fair that Mike is in there and he still has everything!"

Donna felt incensed as she listened to Rachel talk. She couldn't bear her blaming Harvey for this. He didn't deserve it. "Rachel, Harvey did everything he could. Everything. And Mike would have been set free by the jury if he'd waited and if he'd had faith like …"

"Oh don't give me that having faith bullshit, Donna!" screamed Rachel, tears rolling down her face. "Harvey is just as guilty as Mike but you're telling me he's walking around as free as bird because of what? Because he had faith or because he listened to you? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Rachel, you know Harvey was going to turn himself in. I told you that. Don't be angry with him, be angry with me. I talked him out of it." Tears streamed down Donna's face as she remembered that night in her apartment. The night when Harvey came to her. 'It's my goddamn fault' he had cried. She'd never forget how his voice had broken. But, then she had persuaded him to have faith in the jury, he had trusted her enough to do so and she had been right. If only Mike hadn't jumped the gun and taken the plea deal.

"I am angry with you, Donna, and I'm jealous." sobbed Rachel. "I'm jealous because even though I loved Mike with all of my heart and he loved me, that wasn't enough. I couldn't convince him to have faith in himself. I've lost Mike and you still have Harvey, except you don't have him in the same way. Mike was my world, Donna. I wanted to spend every day with him for the rest of my life, but I couldn't … I couldn't persuade him like you persuaded Harvey. I begged him not to take that deal, but he didn't listen to me. Mike wouldn't put me first. My relationship with Mike isn't as strong as your non-relationship with your goddamn boss?"

Donna was lost for words. She understood completely how Rachel was feeling, but her words cut like a knife. The desperation, the unhappiness, the bitterness were still all so raw. The wounds were still so fresh. "I don't know what to say, Rachel," she said, "I'm not going to stand here and explain what my relationship with Harvey means to me. I thought you knew who he was to me. I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm really sorry. I can't change what happened and even if I could I wouldn't. I didn't want Harvey to go to jail. I didn't want him to fall on his sword for anybody. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to feel …"

"Like I'm feeling?" asked a desolate Rachel.

Donna nodded and wiped the wetness off her face. "Is there anything I can do," she asked as Rachel straightened her clothing, brushed her hand through her hair and turned to leave the bathroom.

Rachel shook her head. "I just need time, Donna," she said. "I need to get through school. I can't lose my dream on top of losing Mike. Please, don't call me again. Give me a few weeks. I'll call you when I'm ready."

Donna nodded and felt the urge to hug her again, but Rachel walked away before she got the chance. She sat back on the seat again and broke down in tears. She missed her friend so much and she wanted to be back in her life. She needed her advice. She needed her to be there.


	10. Chapter 10 - Win Back

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER TEN – Win Back

Harvey arrived late at the office on Wednesday morning. He'd had an early meeting with an old client who had been one of the many that jumped ship after the scandal. The client had signed with Scottie's firm but, after a brief 20 minute meeting with the CEO, Harvey had won the company back. Scottie would be pissed, but he didn't care. She'd understand.

The doors to the elevator opened and he was met by a worried-looking Louis in the reception area. "Harvey, can I have a word," he said, joining him in the walk down the corridor to his office.

"What is it, Louis?" asked Harvey, "I'm in a good mood this morning so don't spoil it. Harvey Specter is back in the groove!"

"The groove? What the hell are you? One of the goddamn Monkees?" sneered Louis.

"No Louis, but I am a daydream believer," he teased.

"Well I'm not feeling like the homecoming queen right now," Louis shot back. "Anyway, I thought you had goals, not dreams?"

"You got me, Sleepy Jean, but I'm talking about daydreams. And my day dreams are in a totally different league to my night dreams," he said with trace of innuendo.

"What? Whatever, Harvey. This is serious, I need your help."

"Okay, what's the problem, Louis?"

"Max Schmidt."

Harvey sighed a deep sigh. This was the precise scenario he'd been dreading ever since discovering Max Schmidt was one of the best financial litigators in Europe. "Louis please tell me this isn't going to develop into a pissing contest between you and him. You're both excellent lawyers and we need you both. No need for competition because competition leads to one-upmanship and one-upmanship leads to you getting your ass kicked and you getting your ass kicked leads to you doing something goddamn stupid and getting yourself fired."

Louis stopped walking and looked hurt. "Thanks, Harvey," he said huffily, "thanks for having so much trust in me."

Harvey twisted his mouth and shook his head. "I'm sorry Louis, but you do have form for this kind of bullshit."

"Easy for you to say, Harvey," moaned Louis, "imagine if Roche & Roche had brought Europe's best closer to New York with them."

"I wouldn't care," said Harvey, "but, I take it from that remark you haven't seen Stella Bart in action yet?" His facial expression let Louis know he had his own competition from the European team.

"No I haven't. Is she better than you?" asked Louis.

"What? No!" laughed Harvey, "but she's good. She wiped the floor with Scottie last week?"

"Did she? Jesus, Harvey what's are they doing to us? We can't let them win," he said anxiously as Harvey became more and more amused. "If you help me with Max now, you have my word that I'll sort out Stella for you."

"Not going to happen, Louis," said Harvey with a smile, "even at your vindictive best, she'd kill you. And I mean it, Louis, she would fucking kill you."

They arrived at Harvey's office and Louis followed him in. "Max Schmidt's just stolen one of my old clients – Yentob Industries. They were on my list to win back but he nipped in before I got the chance. They're about to take over Hart Danby Logistics. It's a merger I worked on for months before they fired us because of Mike and I want them back. I mean, who does he think he is? Coming in here with his sharp suits and his baby blue eyes?"

"His suits aren't so sharp," said Harvey.

"What? Harvey, you haven't … please tell me you haven't?" said Louis, his voice full of terror.

"Haven't done what?"

"You haven't let him out-suit you?"

"What? Louis, this is suits, not mudding. I'm not you and he's not Nigel Nesbitt."

"You sure about that?" asked Louis suspiciously, "is that a new suit you're wearing? Where'd you get it?"

"Not telling, Louis. You know nobody gets my tailor's details."

"Bullshit. Where'd you get the suit?"

"It arrived all the way from Berlin yesterday, didn't it Harvey?" came Donna's voice from the doorway. Harvey shot her a deadly glare.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" said a high-pitched, squawking Louis. "You went to Max's tailor?"

Harvey wanted to curl up and die. He was going to kill Donna for this. "Donna, what didn't you understand about 'don't tell anybody where my suit came from'?"

"Oh, I understood every single word," she beamed as she strolled coyly into the room. "But, this scenario right here, is way more fun!"

"Fine," pouted Harvey in resignation. "Louis, I'll come with you to talk to Max."

X

Later that morning, Harvey and Louis crossed to the other side of the floor to the offices occupied by the Roche & Roche team members. Stella's office was the first on the right, followed by Max's, Marina's and Julien's on the corner. Teams of paralegals and associates took up the other spaces whilst Julien's secretary, Ingrid Lindstrom, sat at a cubicle in the centre.

Harvey marched into Max's office with Louis trotting behind him. He politely knocked on the door before entering. Max was sitting at his desk, which was stacked with documents, all piled orderly and covered with fluorescent sticky notes. Harvey sniggered inwardly as the man was clearly a pedantic ass. He wondered if he did all of his own admin work.

"Don't you have a secretary to do that?" asked Harvey.

"I like to do my own filing," replied Max matter-of-factly, "besides I don't have a secretary yet. I have only been senior partner for six months. I've tried to find a suitable candidate in this city, but I have been unsuccessful."

"How many candidates have you interviewed?" asked Louis.

"Fifty-six," said Max, looking up at the two men from his stacks of paper.

"Fifty-six?" repeated Louis, "what the hell is wrong with you? Donna has a list of the best secretaries in the city. Want me to get it for you?"

"I've already been through your list," said Max. "I'm just very particular about whom I work with. I would prefer a German, or at least a German speaker. It's important to have somebody who understands me if they are to serve me well. I also need them to have several years' experience of secretarial work, particularly in corporate finance; accounting; mergers; acquisitions. There's a lot to consider."

Harvey sat open mouthed. Shit this man was boring.

"Look, Max, I'll cut to the chase. You have something 'he' wants," he said gesturing to Louis.

"Oh, and what is that?" asked Max, "I'm sure I would have pleasure in giving it to you, Louis."

Louis practically jumped off his chair and Harvey was reminded of the time he convinced himself Jeff Malone was romantically interested in him. It would be just like Louis to confuse language barriers with sexual innuendo.

"Yentob Industries," said Harvey. "They used to be Louis's client and he wants them back."

"Ah, I see," said Max. "Then I'm sorry, that is impossible. Mr Iveson was clear that he wanted to work with me and not anyone from the old Pearson Specter Litt. It was a condition of my signing."

Louis looked deflated as he sat slumped in the office chair, his face disappearing into his neck.

"The trouble is, Louis worked on the Hart Danby merger for months. He's put in dozens …"

"Hundreds," snapped Louis, his face twisted into his worst weasel-like sneer.

"…hundreds of hours of work on the deal and he'd like to get back into the game."

"I'm sorry I can't help," said Max plainly. "My duty is to Mr Iveson." Despite his sharp silver-grey suit and trendy haircut, Max Schmidt was a crusty, humourless man and Harvey had no idea how he'd risen through the ranks at Roche & Roche so quickly. He was a good decade, at least, younger than Harvey and Louis, but he was much older in manner. Gretchen was twice his age, but she had ten times as much spark.

"Look, Adolf," snapped Louis as he rose from his seat, "you may not have noticed but the name of this firm is Pearson Specter LITT? Get it? That's my name up on the wall and we call the shots here. Yentob Industries is my client and you stole it out from under my goddamn nose."

Max rose from his seat and glared at Louis. He was at least four inches taller than him, but he wasn't an intimidating man. Louis wasn't afraid of him. "What did you just call me?" he asked.

Harvey stood up next to Louis fighting the urge to wrap his hands tightly around his neck to squeeze all of the stupid out. "Max, look, he's sorry, he's just really attached to this case, and …"

"I'm not sorry," growled Louis, facing off against the German.

"Louis, shut the hell up," snapped Harvey, "what, you think he's going to give you what you want this way?"

"No, but Jessica will get it for me," said Louis. "She looks after her own. She understands the meaning of 'family'."

"As much as I like and respect Miss Pearson, she cannot give you this client because this client refuses to have anything to do with you. Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen. I have work to do here," said Max as he sat back down at his desk full of papers.

Louis pointed his finger at Max and opened his mouth wide to speak, but nothing came out.

"Come on, Louis," said Harvey wearily, dragging his partner out of Max's office.

Louis grumbled all the way back to the Pearson Spector Litt side of the 50th floor until Harvey was tired of listening to him. "Look Louis," said Harvey, "we're just going to have to take a few punches to the gut. It's going to take us a while to get back on our feet. At least Max has Yentob Industries instead of Scottie's firm. We're still going to get paid."

"What happened with Max?" asked Donna as she brought a box of files into Harvey's office. Harvey looked at her quizzically. "The Greystone restructure," she said as she tapped the top of the box and placed it on his desk. Harvey nodded at her. He'd forgotten about Greystone, which was a tedious case. He wondered who he could palm it off onto.

Louis pouted. "He wouldn't give me Yentob back."

"Why the hell not?" asked Donna.

"Well it may have something to do with the fact Louis got pissed at him and called him 'Adolf'," shouted Harvey.

Donna's eyes bulged in horror. "You what? Louis, please tell me you didn't."

Louis's eyes fell to the floor. "He did," said Harvey.

"Oh who cares," whined Louis, his eyes narrowing to slits, "he should have given me my goddamn client back. The goddamn unfeasibly tall frankfurter! I'd love to strangle him with a string of freakin' German sausages!"

"Louis, please," gasped Donna, "no more racism!"

"That's not racist, Donna," snapped Louis, "Germans aren't a race, they're a nationality."

"Then no more nation-ism!" she snapped, "Louis, listen, these are our new colleagues. Let's welcome them, eh? Think of yourself as the Statue of Liberty, holding the torch of freedom aloft."

"Donna, they get to smoke dope and watch porn on mainstream TV in Europe," whined Louis patronisingly, "they have more freedom than us."

"Do they?" asked Harvey, pretending to perk up at the thought of free porn and legal dope. "Okay I need to get back to work here, Donna, can you get me Terry Wrightman from CloudNet on the line? He's next on my win back list," he said, swinging in his desk chair.

"Harvey, two things," said Donna. "Firstly, not your secretary anymore, so ask Antonio. Secondly CloudNet already became our clients two days ago."

"WHAT?" asked Harvey as he jumped to his feet, ready to do battle. "Is this down to Max Schmidt again, because so help me god if it is …"

"No, not Max," said Donna.

"Who?" said Harvey. Donna put on a dramatic 'acting scared' face and twisted her bottom lip. "Oh no," he said. "Stella?"

"Yep," said Donna. "I'll leave you guys to it."

Donna left Harvey and Louis fuming in the office. "What are we going to do Harvey?"

Harvey was turning a hot shade of pink. "Remember when you said you'd have my back with Stella if I tried to get Yentob back for you?"

"Yes, Harvey, that was five minutes ago. What, do you think I'm a goldfish?"

"Good," said Harvey decisively. "And no, I don't think you're a goldfish. Now, let's pay Stella a visit."

X

When they arrived back at the Roche & Roche quarter of the 50th floor, Stella wasn't in her office. Harvey and Louis scanned the area together before asking Ingrid where she was. "Cigarette break," came the response.

"Ah-ha," said Harvey. He noticed the huge bouquet of roses on the blonde secretary's desk. "Looks like you've pleased someone," he said flirtatiously.

Ingrid smiled at him displaying cute dimples in her cheeks. She was older than he was, but she still had 'it'. "Not for me," she said, "your secretary dumped them on my desk earlier. I get the impression she has an admirer, but she doesn't want anybody else to know."

" 'SHE' has an admirer?" inquired Harvey as he realised Ingrid wasn't talking about Antonio. "Do you mean Donna?"

"Yes, the fiery redhead," said Ingrid. "She certainly has 'heat' for somebody around here."

Harvey followed Ingrid's gaze to Julien's door. "What are you talking about?" asked Harvey. "Donna's not interested in him!"

"Sure looked like it to me," replied Ingrid as she fluttered her eyelashes up at Harvey again.

Harvey tried to control his anger. Ingrid was toying with him, but he couldn't bear the thought of Donna and Julien Roche together and he felt his stomach lurch. He looked at Louis and he looked just as worried. He sometimes forgot how much Louis cared for Donna too.

Just then Stella arrived back at her desk. Or rather she 'bounced' back. She wasn't wearing floral today, instead she was wearing a tight, figure hugging black dress with a low neckline. A red belt buckled around her waist accentuating her curves and complimenting her signature bright red lipstick. Her hair was worn down, but was pinned up at the front to display her movie starlet sculpted eyebrows and shiny high cheekbones. There was no mistaking the fact that she was a beautiful woman just as much as there was no mistaking the fact that she danced to her own tune.

"Oh no, I wondered when you two would tip up. I heard about your meeting with Max this morning and its tough shit. Any client we win from your old pool is fair game." said Stella.

She marched into her office with Harvey and Louis following close behind. "Goddamnit Stella, I was in the process of pursuing Terry Wrightman again. I've known that man for close to ten years."

"As I said, tough shit, Harvey," said Stella. She glanced over at Louis, then back to Harvey again. "Is he staring at my tits?" she asked, flicking her thumb pointedly at Louis.

"Probably," Harvey replied. Louis cleared his throat. Stella tutted at him in disgust. "What do you want me to do, Harvey? Hand clients over to you for free after I've done all the hard work."

"After I did all the hard work!" he yelled. "Come on Stella, we have to work together here and we're supposed to be a team. What's going to happen if you need help from me somewhere down the line?"

Stella looked at him, tapping her pen on her desk. "Okay, I tell you what …" said Stella. "How about you help me out with CloudNet and I give you a cut?"

"I'm not here to beg for pennies, Stella," said Harvey truthfully. He never really cared about the money.

"Then there's nothing more to say," she said, before catching Louis's very obvious staring out of the corner of her eye. "Hey, Mr Bean," she called over to Louis, "get your eyes off my boobs! Last chance!"

"I'm so sorry," said Louis in a half-daze, "they're just really great and …"

"Louis!" screamed Harvey, "remember those three, or is it four, incidences over the years when you have been accused of sexual harassment?"

"I need an hour," he said shaking his head as he backed out of Stella's office and strolled solemnly back to his own.

"Ha! That was fun," laughed Stella. "What a weird little man."

"Mr Bean …?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, can you not see it?"

Harvey laughed. "Totally, I'm erm … sorry he … leered at you. He doesn't know what to say to women sometimes."

"Harvey, I couldn't care a less and I can handle Louis," she laughed, flicking her hair around her shoulders. "I'll keep his boob obsession in the bank for when I need something from him. It's good to know what his weakness is."

"Shit, you are me," he said.

"I'm you?" she smiled, her cherry-red lips turned upwards in a cheerful smile. "Can't say your boobs are all that impressive."

Harvey smirked and comically raised his eyebrows, "I mean, you're the second best closer in town," joked Harvey. "At least that's what they're saying."

She smiled again at Harvey's compliment. She knew his reputation and she felt he already considered her part of his team. "Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do, Harvey," said Stella, "you help me with Wrightman's deal, plus take care of all the acquisition paperwork and I'll give you 15%"

Harvey laughed out loud, his eyes wide with disbelief, "15%?" he sneered. "Make it 45%"

No chance in hell. "20%. Final offer."

"25%?"

"Done. Right get out of my sight and remember you owe me one," said Stella. She shuffled busily around her desk which was littered with documents.

"I see you haven't been to the Max Schmidt School of keeping an organised desk?" he asked as he got up to leave.

Stella smirked and fixed him with her piercingly smart eyes, "no, I was too busy going to the Stella Bart School of being awesome," she said.

Her last remark seemed to be an excerpt from the 'Book of Donna', reminding Harvey of why he liked the British lawyer so much. "Hey," he said before he left. "Julien Roche. What's his history with women?"

Stella groaned and looked uneasy. "Well he's persistent and he usually gets what he wants if that's what you mean," she said. "Why?"

"Those flowers on his secretary's desk. She said Donna gave them to her first thing this morning and I think they were originally from Julien."

"Really? That's concerning," said Stella, her thick black eyelashes failing to hide the apprehension that filled her eyes.

"It is?" asked Harvey, "you think I need to do something?"

"Not yet," said Stella quickly. "Don't let him see you're onto him. He's … well he's an opportunist as well as being a calculated piece of work. His wife is a lawyer at Roche & Roche too. She's a Senior Partner. I didn't know her very well, but she was good. Anyway, she specialises in divorce cases and … let's just say that she's currently representing herself."

"He's getting a divorce?" asked Harvey.

"Yes, and it's a nasty one. Seems the younger Monsieur Roche can't keep it in his pants."

Harvey bristled at the thought of this man pursuing Donna. He now knew Julien Roche was a cheat, a liar, an adulterer … all the things he despised. He felt red hot rage prick at the back of his neck and course through his veins. "I'm going to put a stop to this," he snapped, before he marched out of Stella's office and into Julien's. Stella called after him, but he ignored her pleas.

X

Harvey barged into Julien's office shouting "get out" at his secretary. It was the second time that one of the American team had been rude to her and she was getting annoyed by the intrusions. She stood up and scowled at Harvey as she retreated to her cubicle.

Julien looked angry. "You better have a good reason for barging into my office like this Mr Specter," he said.

"You're damned right I do," yelled Harvey. "You keep your hands off Donna and that's not a request!"

"And what makes you think it isn't Donna who needs to keep her hands off me?" sneered Julien. He spoke directly to Harvey, fixing his dark eyes upon him and coming close enough that Harvey could smell the stale scent of too many espressos on his breath.

"You fucking what?" he roared as he grabbed Julien by the lapels and pushed him against his office wall.

Stella and Ingrid rushed into the office and tried to get between Harvey and Julien. "Don't do this, Harvey," said Stella calmly. "He's not worth it."

Julien was older and more slightly built than Harvey but he held his gaze throughout, his face stern and cold. Harvey let go of him. "You keep away from Donna," he said, "or next time I'll hurt you."

He backed out of the office with Stella taking his arm.

"Have you asked Donna what happened between us last night, Harvey?"

Harvey stopped dead in his tracks. His face darkened and Stella whispered, "do not bite. Ignore the bastard," under her breath.

He was outside Julien's office now, the glass wall between them as Julien stood smirking in the doorway. "Go back and ask her about our kiss, Harvey," he said. "Now, I'm going through a divorce at the moment, you may have heard this, so I told Donna I am not ready to get into anything with her. I sent her flowers to apologise. I do not want to lead the poor woman on. Seems she was upset and finds taking 'no' for an answer difficult. Sadly she wanted more from me. Does that sound familiar at all, Harvey? Is this the way she is with men? Always wanting more than we can give her. The truth is Donna wanted far more than just a kiss last night, Harvey."

Harvey moved forward ready to go for Julien again, but Stella positioned herself between them placing her hand on his chest. "Move away now," she bellowed to Harvey. "He is playing you."

Harvey looked around at the audience he had attracted and he straightened his tie, readying to take Stella's advice and walk away.

"I've said my peace, Julien. Donna is off limits."


	11. Chapter 11 - The Truth

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 11 – The Truth

Donna had just returned from lunch and she was sitting at her desk when she heard singing coming from the corridor, getting louder and louder, until Antonio poked his head into her office.

"Talor dal mio forziere, ruban tutti i gioelli due ladri, gli occhi belli," sang Antonio in perfect operatic style as he fell to one knee in front of Donna's desk and produced two tickets from behind his back. "Front row, La Boheme, me and you, tonight. What do you say?"

Donna smiled widely. She hadn't been to the opera in a while and she couldn't think of anybody she'd rather go with than Antonio. "I'd love to," she said, "thank you Antonio. That's really sweet of you."

"No, thank you, Donna," he said. "I've been trying to find somebody to take to the theatre. The only one who likes opera from my team is Julien Roche and … well … you know."

"Yes, I know," she said, "now, where on earth did you learn to sing like that? That was kinda awesome!"

"Thank you," he smiled, "I've been singing since I was a child. Sang all the way through school, church choir, then not so much when I left for University. I'm from Venice originally. All Venetians have music in their blood."

Just then Harvey strode past Donna's office. "My office, now!" he yelled through the glass wall.

"Me or him?" asked Donna.

"You!" he barked.

Donna grimaced at Antonio and got up from her chair, making her way into the lion's den. She closed the door behind her. "What is it, Harvey?" she said. Her face was full of concern.

"When the hell are you going to learn?" shouted Harvey, his eyes narrowed with annoyance.

"Learn what?" said Donna, her voice trembling. "What have I done?"

"Julien Roche's name ring any bells?" asked Harvey plainly. He watched her intently, waiting for a reaction. Donna's heart sank. She tried to steel herself, but it was no good. She felt herself start to tremble as she remembered that awful night in Julien's office last week. The night he'd blackmailed her into kissing him.

"What about Julien?" asked Donna. Her voice was quiet and broken.

"Goddamn it, Donna," said Harvey angrily. "The man's bad news. Everyone can see it, why can't you? I thought you'd have learned your lesson after Stephen Huntley."

Now it was Donna's turn to get angry. How dare he bring Stephen Huntley's name into this. "What?" she said, her eyes filling with tears as Harvey's words cut through her armour and dug into her flesh. "What did you just say to me?"

Harvey's face fell as he realised what he'd done. There was no going back so he'd have to make the best of it. "Look, Donna, it's none of my business who you … who you want to 'see', but really … Julien Roche? That guy's as shady as hell!"

"Harvey, not that it's any of your goddamn business, but I am not 'seeing' Julien Roche in fact I'm not even the tiniest bit interested in Julien Roche, okay?" She fought to control her emotions as tears of rage pricked her eyes, "but even if I were seeing him, you have absolutely no right … no right at all to speak to me like this!"

Harvey exhaled in relief, "you're not 'with' him?"

"No I'm not 'with' him Harvey," she said heatedly, "but if I were it would have nothing to do with you. You have no claim on me or what I do!"

"Jesus Christ, Donna, don't be like that," he shouted at her.

"Like what? You've just yelled at me and accused me of … what? Of sleeping with Julien? How fucking dare you!"

"I didn't mean to, I just …"

"Forget it Harvey," she said as she walked towards his door. "And if you're done speaking to me like I'm the office whore, I'd like to get back to work."

Harvey watched her leave without saying a word.

X

Donna went to the theatre with Antonio that night half wishing she'd poured her heart out to Harvey about Julien's blackmail and how disgusting he'd made her feel, but she didn't dare. Harvey would kill him. She was absolutely positive of what his reaction would be and she didn't want to risk damaging the firm's blossoming partnership with the European team over a stupid kiss. She had placed the incident with Julien behind her and as far as she was concerned, the matter was closed.

Although her mind had wandered back to her fight with Harvey several times, she'd still enjoyed her night out. Antonio was a kind, sweet young man and he reminded her so much of Mike. She found she spoke to him, laughed with him and even worked with him just like she had done with Mike when he had first arrived at the firm.

When the opera was finished, Donna and Antonio visited a bar on Broadway before heading home. They talked for a while about her acting and about his singing and Donna was really enjoying his company.

"Donna," asked Antonio, "can I say something and please … please tell me to mind my own business if you want. I do not want to speak out of line."

"Okay," she asked nervously, "what's on your mind, Antonio?"

"Julien Roche," he said.

Donna's face dropped and she looked back to her glass of wine, fiddling with the tall stem which was standing on the bar. "What about him?"

"Donna, I like you very much. You've been such a good friend to me but I just can't bear you getting mixed up with that man."

Donna sighed. "Antonio, I said this to Harvey earlier and I don't know why people are thinking there is anything between Julien and I, but there isn't. I'm not interested in him. You don't have to worry."

"It's just … well Julien has been telling people that …?

"What?" she gasped, her mind whirring with dread, "What has he said, Antonio? Please tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Donna, I shouldn't say this," said Antonio softly. He didn't want to upset her. "He had an argument with Harvey in front of the entire Roche & Roche team earlier and he said that you'd been pursuing him, but he wasn't interested as it was too soon after his divorce."

Donna was stunned. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "He said that?" she said, her voice breaking with a mix of rage and distress. "Antonio, that isn't true."

Antonio's deep blue eyes glistened under the trendy lights of the wine bar. "Isn't it?" he said. He looked relieved for a moment, but then his face changed back to concern. "Donna, I've seen this before and I know how it ends. You need to put a stop to it."

"I already have put a stop to it," said Donna decisively, "and tomorrow I will be putting a stop to these lies too. Shit, no wonder Harvey was pissed off." She thought briefly to her fight with Harvey earlier in the day, but then she realised with sadness that even if Julien had lied to him about her, that was no excuse for the way he had yelled at her. "Antonio, what do you mean about 'you've seen this before'?" asked Donna. "What happened between you and him?"

Antonio's looked down at his feet. There was something big he was keeping from her.

"Antonio, please … please, I need to know."

Antonio looked up and caught his breath. He took a drink from his wine glass, then turned back to Donna. "There was a girl," he said. "She was on the front desk in our Paris office. Her name was Camille and she was beautiful and smart and funny. She and I were … well we liked each other and we'd had a few dates, then …"

"What?" said Donna desperately wanting to hear the story, but terrified at the same time. She placed her hand on Antonio's arm and gave him a supportive squeeze.

"Then Julien got to her."

Donna felt waves of nausea, followed by a huge lump in her throat. "What do you mean?"

"She wasn't interested in him, but he pursued her and pursued her until, finally … somehow … he got to her." Antonio turned to face Donna, fixing his blue eyes on her brown eyes. "Don't you see, Donna? This is what he does and it is all a game to him. As soon as he … he slept with Camille, his game with her was over. She left and I never saw her again. There were others too. And as for me … I lost my place in the firm because I dared to challenge him. He doesn't hate me because I am … well, I was a great lawyer. He hates me because I know exactly who he is and I'm not afraid of him."

"Do you mean everyone knows what he did to Camille and they did nothing?" asked Donna incredulously. "Does Stella know?"

"Stella knows and she hates Julien," said Antonio. "She won't work with him, but everyone else. They turn a blind eye. I'm sure his brother knows and that is why he shipped him off to this office. He wanted to get rid of him. But the others … Max, Marina, Ingrid … I don't know what it is, loyalty I guess, but they always back him. I'm glad my punishment was to be sent to Harvey. I'd rather learn from him than from them."

Donna smiled sadly at Antonio. "You stick with Harvey, he'll look out for you and so will I. And … the bonus is that Harvey kicked Julien's ass, today," said Donna with a wink.

"I heard," laughed Antonio. They both smiled at each other for a moment, before Donna's face changed again. How had she gotten into this mess? "Donna," asked Antonio. "What did Julien do to you?" he said.

Donna looked away to her wine glass again, running her finger around the rim.

"What did he do Donna?" asked Antonio again. "You can tell me."

Donna squirmed on the barstool and started playing with her hair, tucking a tendril behind her ears, "If I tell you, you have to promise me something?" she said.

Antonio looked awkward and his face was full of concern. He nodded his head.

"Okay, well, you have to promise me two things actually. First, that you won't tell anybody, especially Harvey, and second that you won't lose your shit over it because if you do, that's how things escalate and I just can't deal with this blowing up around our heads. Not after everything we've been through."

Antonio nodded. "I understand," he said, "and I promise."

"Right, remember when you helped me with Julien's case the other day. The one I forgot to do? Well, Julien realised that you had done it for me and he threatened to fire you."

"What? He didn't say anything to me about that, Donna," interrupted Antonio.

"Yes, yes, I know," said Donna as she lowered her voice to a whisper. "He said … he said if I let him kiss me then he'd let you stay, so …"

Antonio gasped in shock and looked deeply hurt. "Donna, you shouldn't have done that," he said with sadness. "You shouldn't have done that for me. He wouldn't have fired me he was just …"

"Blackmailing me? I know, it was stupid," said Donna, "god, I could kick myself for it and I don't know why I did it, but I cracked. I didn't want your chances here to be ruined because you remind me of someone. You remind me of Mike I couldn't let him fire you. I figured a kiss was something I could easily do and then forget about, but …"

"That bastard," Antonio said angrily, "I can't believe this. My god, he's doing it all again. This is what he did to Camille and I can't watch it happen again. Donna, you have to tell someone. Camille told nobody because she was afraid and he destroyed her. You have to tell Harvey."

"Antonio, I can handle it, I don't need Harvey to save me. I've spoken to Julien and I've already put a stop to it. Trust me. See this is what I was afraid of. Please you can't say anything. Can you imagine what Harvey would do to Julien if he found out about this?" said Donna, her eyes pleading with Antonio. "Please, you promised you wouldn't lose it. I'm not Camille. I can look after myself."

Antonio sighed and finished his drink. He made Donna promise to confide in him if anything else happened with Julien. She told him nothing was going to happen, but she promised all the same. She went home happier that night than she had felt for a while. She'd had a good night and it had been good to tell someone about Julien.


	12. Chapter 12 - Confession

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 12 - Confession

Jessica called Harvey into the office for a meeting first thing on Thursday morning and the news wasn't good. Julien Roche had secured a huge client for the firm the day prior, but after celebrating the good news had turned sour. The client came with a multi-million dollar deal which would all but see the firm through financially until the end of the year, but it came at a price. Without telling anybody, Julien had signed the client – an up-and-coming technology company called TribeTEC – in partnership with a small independent law firm and the head of that other firm was Daniel Hardman.

When Harvey arrived in Jessica's office she was pacing the floor like a caged tiger ready to pounce. They only had to look at each other for seconds to convey how they were both feeling. Had Julien done this deliberately? Harvey definitely wouldn't put it past him.

"Is the deal done?" asked Harvey.

"Yes, here it is," snapped Jessica as she threw the blue folder down on the coffee table in front of Harvey.

He picked it up and scanned the front page. As he read the document his face turned from pink to purple and the veins in his neck bulged angrily. "What the fuck is this? He's agreed to let Hardman work on the deal on our behalf? Hardman will be working from our offices. Over my dead body!"

"Mine too," snarled Jessica, "they'll have to carry me out in my goddamn coffin before I let that man get his claws into my firm. What's the hell is Julien up to?"

"There's a chance he's being played by Hardman," said Harvey, "but there's an even bigger chance that this is all down to him."

"How so?" asked Jessica.

"Because he's a goddamn warped, manipulative son-of-a-bitch," said Harvey. "And I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. What does Claude say?"

"He's not happy about it, but he's already handed his brother full control of our partnership. Julien won't back down and Claude doesn't want to get involved. Something's gone on between those two, Harvey, it's as if Claude is trying to make up for something by giving Julien full control," she said, her mind ticking away subconsciously listing all the underhanded crap she's had to put up with from Hardman over the years and why this was the last thing they needed.

"Where's Louis?" asked Harvey suddenly realising the third partner wasn't at their impromptu meeting.

"Already reading through the by-laws to see if there's something we can do to stop this," said Jessica. "He hasn't had any luck so far. Basically, if we don't let Hardman into our offices then we're going to lose the deal."

"Then we lose the goddamn deal," said Harvey slamming the blue folder back down on the table in front of him.

"Impossible," said Jessica. "If we did that we'd have to say goodbye to our partnership with Roche & Roche and we'd be finished. Law firms don't snub multi-million dollar deals, Harvey, particularly law firms who are up to their necks in as much shit as we are."

Harvey was boiling with rage. Julien Roche was going to be the death of him. He stood up and slammed his fists down on the table making Jessica jump. "This is not happening!" he yelled and he stormed out of the conference room, heading straight for Julien's office.

X

Julien was holding a meeting of his own when Harvey arrived at the Roche & Roche side of the 50th floor. He stormed straight past Ingrid, his secretary, who must now be used to his behaviour as she didn't even bother calling after him.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" yelled Harvey in front of Julien and his team. He didn't care that he was bringing things to a head in front of others. The lines were drawn and whoever stood by Julien was his enemy.

"I am doing everything I can to bring business into this firm, Harvey. The same as you, only better," said Julien coolly.

"Bullshit you are!" roared Harvey, "Daniel Hardman is not stepping one foot into these offices, so either you find a way to do this deal without him or you can go work with him over in New Jersey. And I don't give a shit which option you decide, but that's what's happening."

Julien grinned at Harvey in a way which let him know he was enjoying the game. It was all Harvey could do to stop himself from punching him. "You aren't calling the shots here, Harvey," he said. "This is my deal and I get to play it how I choose. You may not have noticed but we're saving your firm for you. And I mean WE are saving your firm. We are bringing in the big clients because nobody in this city wants to work with you. So, don't be a spoiled child. I'm putting money in your pockets while you sit on your ass. You should be thanking me … oh and you should be thanking Daniel too."

"This is all a game to you, isn't it?" he asked. "What the hell happened to you in your miserable, pathetic life that made you such a goddamn son-of-a-bitch?"

Harvey rounded on Julien, which made Max Schmidt take to his feet. "I think you need to calm down, Harvey," he said.

"The hell I do!" yelled Harvey, "are you with him on this deal?"

Max looked confused. "I will be working on the financial side of things if that's what you mean?"

"And you?" he directed to Marina, the quiet and petite Greek Senior Associate. She nodded awkwardly at him.

"What about you?" Harvey shot in Stella's direction.

Stella frowned and looked very uncomfortable. "What I do or don't do is none of your business, Harvey, but I have agreed – for the good of our firm – that I will take care of TribeTEC's current acquisition negotiations."

"Good," said Harvey, shooting Stella a glare, "at least I know where I stand. None of you will be getting another thing from me or my team until all of this is sorted out. And I sure as shit won't be trusting any of you until you can show some goddamn loyalty."

"Our loyalty is to Roche & Roche," said Max plainly, "we are in a partnership with you, not a merger. Julien is our managing partner and we all answer to him. You are being unfair."

"And this is our office space," added Julien. "We decide who we work with and you don't call the shots here. Daniel Hardman has already been assigned an office. He was part of our signing TribeTEC, so you can take your ultimatums and your tantrums and your adolescent American bravado and you can shove them where the sun does not shine."

Harvey stared him down. "Why are you doing this?" he asked, "if there's even a shred of decency in you, just tell me why?"

"Why am I doing what?" laughed Julien smugly, "Why am I lining your pockets with money or why am I saving your law firm?"

"You can do all of that upfront, but instead you're choosing to sneak around like a goddamn rat getting under people's skin. Is this because your wife left you? Or is it because your brother exiled you? Maybe it's because Donna turned you down? Oh, do you think I bought into that bullshit you fed me the other day about her chasing after you? If you wanna know the truth about Donna, well here it is: Donna is repulsed by you!"

Julien's face turned dark and his eyes burned with fury, "she wasn't repulsed when she kissed me the other night, in fact she was rather turned on. I could tell by the way she moaned when my tongue was half-way down my throat."

Harvey lunged forward and caught Julien with a swift right hook, sending him flying backwards into his sofa, then he swung at his head again and punched him twice in the stomach. Marina squealed in shock and Max shot forward, grabbing hold of Harvey to stop him from lashing out again.

"Harvey, get out of here now!" yelled Stella, as he wrestled free from Max.

"Don't worry I'm going," he said glaring at Julien who was nursing a cut lip and holding his mid-section. His face was wrenched in pain.

Harvey walked away. He didn't regret punching him. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.

X

Ten minutes later, Stella was on her way to Harvey's office, her afternoon tea-party style skirt swishing as she marched down the corridor and her purple Mary Jane buckled shoes clip-clopping on the carpet. Her glossy black hair fluttered around her shoulders with each step.

Harvey was sitting at his desk giving Donna the low-down on the Hardman situation when she burst into his office. "What the hell was that all about?" she yelled at Harvey.

"Are you shitting me, Stella?" yelled Harvey back at her, "you were there, you know what it was about." He motioned his eyes towards Donna whilst staring intently at Stella. He hoped she'd caught his plea not to let Donna know.

Donna's eyes grew wide with a mixture of anxiety and dread, "what have you done, Harvey?"

"He's just punched the crap out of Julien!" she said. "Why did you do it? Why can't you control yourself?"

"Oh no," said Donna as she sat back down on Harvey's sofa with her head in her hands.

Harvey looked at them both and shook his head, "Seriously, you're telling me he didn't deserve …"

"Yeah, he did deserve it," interrupted Stella, "but for Christ's sake Harvey that's not the point. Can't you see you're playing right into his hands? Julien Roche's entire game is to get one over on people. He's a bully and he's bitter and he's malicious and … you've just given him the ammo he needs to fire shots directly at your bloody head!"

"And you need to pick whose goddamn side you're on!" said Harvey. Stella shook her head in disbelief and turned to Donna. Harvey watched as they both shared a knowing glance. "What?" he yelled, gesturing with open hands.

"Harvey, this is a law firm, not the Alamo. You can't go around assaulting your work colleagues, demanding they either take your side or take the high road. How the hell are you going to win the respect of the European team when you behave like this?"

"I don't want to win their respect. I want them all gone!" yelled Harvey, "and if you don't watch yourself I'll be firing your ass first."

Stella pouted at him, her chiselled cheek bones got more pronounced the more frustrated she got. "Keep going the way you're going and I might give you your wish and resign," she said.

"Oh really?" he bawled at her. "Think I give a damn?"

"Yes really, and you bloody should give a damn. You know how I feel about Julien, but those other people down there are my friends, I've known them for years and I care about them. This is not the way to do things."

"She's right, Harvey, you need to fix this." said Donna. "Why did you hit him anyway?"

"Never mind," he said. Harvey couldn't tell her why he'd snapped. He wasn't sure if she'd kissed him or not the other night and after the fight they'd had about what Julien had said the other day, he didn't want to get into it. He was too angry and ashamed to admit that he'd allowed Julien to get the better of him … again. Donna was his weakness and Julien was using her to break him.

"Harvey, tell me what he said," pleaded Donna. "I need to know."

"I said never mind!" screamed Harvey so loudly that Donna shuddered. She held her hands up in the air in surrender and then she left the room.

"And you can get out too!" said Harvey to Stella.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," she said as she took a seat at his desk. "Why didn't you tell Donna what Julien said about her? You do know he's talking crap, don't you? He can see what she means to you and that's the fun for him. The thrill is the chase. He loves toying with people – messing with their heads."

Harvey did a mock bow, "and there we have the reason why I punched the vile piece of shit in the first place."

"I know why you did it Harvey, I'm just saying you shouldn't have done it. Now, what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not telling you what I'm going to do," snapped Harvey, "you made your loyalties clear."

Stella glowered at him, her plump red lips disappearing into a thin line, "Harvey, tell me if I'm wrong here, but you're angry with me because my boss gave me a job to do? Are you serious? If you must know I make a point of not working with Julien if I can help it, but if he gives me something to do I have to do it. I wouldn't have a position here for very long if I told him to go fuck himself every time he passed me work."

"Then come work for us instead of him," he said. "Julien Roche wants to pit his team against mine, so pick a goddamn side. My team or his."

"I tell you what, Harvey," said Stella defiantly, "there's only one side in this firm that I am picking right now and that's my own. You'll get my loyalty once you show me yours." Truth was she'd prefer to be on Harvey's team, but nobody told Stella Bart what to do.

Stella turned around to leave and nearly walked into Jessica who had just marched into Harvey's office. She was flanked by a very nervous-looking Louis. "Excuse me, Jessica," said Stella as she left the room. She then caught Louis's gaze at her chest again, "eyes, forward, Private Litt," she barked. Louis's eyes sprang forward and he gave her a military salute. Harvey would have laughed at the exchange if he hadn't been so angry.

Jessica waited for Stella to leave, then she turned her attention to Harvey. "Have you any idea what you've just done?"

Harvey sat down at his desk, he was furious and hurt, but he was more livid that nobody was supporting him. "Yes, I beat the crap out of Julien Roche and if I had the chance to do it all again, I would."

"Goddamn it, Harvey, you've no idea what they've just done, do you?"

Harvey stopped dead in his tracks. He felt adrenaline course through his veins as he waited for Jessica to tell him the news. She flung a piece of paper onto the desk in front of him.

"Julien Roche is bringing a lawsuit against you for assault and just to wrap up that little gift with a pretty bow for you, I'll add the happy fact that he's enlisted Daniel Hardman as his lawyer."

Harvey picked up the notice and read through it. His heart sank.

"They want to see us in the conference room for a deposition, but I'm going to postpone until Monday, giving us tomorrow and the weekend to sort this mess out. I'm not letting them catch us on the hop. Louis should handle your case. I can't have any involvement in it as I am managing partner to the both of you. Jesus, Harvey, what the hell did he say to you to make you hit him?"

Harvey grimaced, scrunched up the notice and launched it into his wastepaper basket.

"That's not going to make this go away, Harvey," said Jessica, "now tell me what the hell happened this morning before I have to go into that room with those two vipers."

Harvey sighed and looked up guiltily at Jessica and Louis. "I hit him because he … because of what he said about Donna."

"Donna?" gasped Jessica in shock. "Are you goddamn kidding me? What on earth has this got to do with Donna?"

Louis stiffened. "What did he say, Harvey? Tell me now because if he insulted her I'll go down there and beat the crap out of him myself."

"Hey, nobody is hitting anybody. This talk stops now or I'll slap the both of you," shouted Jessica, "Harvey, this better not be down to the personal shit you have with Donna and I goddamn mean it. My firm is at stake here!"

Harvey felt ridiculous and he was afraid to tell Jessica the truth. "He's been spreading rumours about Donna. Saying that she was pursuing him and that she won't take no for an answer. And today he …" Harvey looked away, not wanting to repeat what Julien said to him, but Jessica gestured for him to continue. Louis looked like he was going to explode. "Today he said that she was 'turned on' when he had his tongue half-way down her throat."

"Oh my god I'll kill him," said Louis. Jessica bristled at Harvey's words, but held her composure. "You let him get to you over that?" she said disappointedly.

"Yes, I let him get to me. And Donna doesn't know that this is about her and I don't want her to know. I had to do something about him. He's out of control."

"You're out of control too, Harvey," said Jessica, not letting Harvey off the hook. "I know you wanted to protect Donna, but she's not a damsel in distress and you're not a knight in shining goddamn armour. You've been in this game long enough to know how snakes like Julien Roche operate. He laid out the bait for you and you took a gigantic bite."

"What are we going to do?" said Louis.

"Leave it to me. I'll find out what they want, then I'll send them away until Monday. You two keep your distance."

X

It was 6.00pm by the time Jessica made it back up to Harvey's office. She waltzed up the corridor dressed in a black business suit with striking frilled sleeves. The oversized brooch at her lapel shone vividly under the bright lights of the office.

She knocked as she entered his space and he looked up like a naughty child, waiting to hear if he was grounded. "What's the damage?" he asked.

"You're not going to like it," said Jessica as she glided into Harvey's office. "They'll drop the case if you resign."

"That old chestnut?" said Harvey under dark brows. "We've been here before, Jessica."

"I'm afraid so, but there's an alternative," said Jessica. "They'll also consider dropping the suit if you stay on, but Julien is made managing partner."

"I think we'll risk a trial," scoffed Harvey.

"That's your right," said Jessica, "but if you risk trial and lose then you'll lose your job and you'll probably get disbarred. Plus, they'll drag Donna through the mud. Are you ready for that?"

"What do you suggest we do?"

"I suggest we regroup tomorrow. We have three days, including the weekend, to come up with something."

"Jessica," he said softly, "I'm sorry."

Jessica held his gaze with her large, dark eyes, but she didn't say anything. She was too angry with him. Harvey Specter would be the death of her.

X

Before leaving for the evening, Harvey stopped by Donna's office to tell her the news. Donna was distraught that Harvey was considering resigning, but Harvey promised her if he did, it would only be temporary until he found a way back.

"I think you should risk going to trial," said Donna.

"I can't do that," said Harvey, "they'd …"

"What?" she pleaded, her eyes strained with worry, "what would they do?"

"They told Jessica they'd drag you through the mud."

Donna froze as she took in what Harvey was saying to her. "I haven't done anything wrong, Harvey, so I don't care about that," she said finally. "This is about you. I'll do whatever I can to back you and be there for you. They can say what they like about me, it doesn't matter."

"Donna, I asked you before but I need to know now," said Harvey quietly. He lowered his voice to convey the importance of what he was about to ask. "Did you do anything with him, because I can't imagine they're threatening to depose you for no reason?"

Donna didn't say anything which translated to Harvey that she was keeping something from him. He hated people keeping things from him.

"Goddamnit Donna, come clean, this is important."

Donna's eyes filled with tears as she stood trembling in front of Harvey. God how she wished she'd told him when he first asked.

"Did you kiss him?" he said.

Donna nodded as tears streamed down her face.

"Shit!" said Harvey. He couldn't bear to look at her. He was angry and he felt betrayed, but most of all he was sickened to the pit of his stomach. How could she? "Donna, why?" he said, unable to hide how he was feeling. "Was it a rebound thing? Because I think I'd be able to understand if it was, but not if …"

"A rebound? What? To get over you?" said Donna in disbelief at what he'd just asked her.

"No, not to get over me," he said, "I meant Mitchell."

"Oh, no, Harvey. It was nothing like that," she said. "I didn't kiss him, he kissed me. I didn't want him to …"

Harvey's annoyance at her turned to concern as he watched the tears run down her face. "Donna, what do you mean?" She was weeping freely now, her body shaking as each heartfelt sob ripped through her body. Harvey felt the urge to go to her and tell her it would be ok, but she still wasn't telling him everything and he was getting more and more frustrated with her. "Donna, you've kept this from me for days. I told you before, you don't keep things from me. I can't help you … I can't help us if you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth."

She sat down in Harvey's armchair, her face was red and puffy from crying.

Harvey moved to sit on his coffee table so he could face her. "Donna, did he hurt you?" he said. The thought of him hurting her threatened to send him over the edge. He asked the question, but he didn't want to hear her answer. He instinctively made his hands into fists as he waited for her reply.

"No, he didn't hurt me," said Donna at last. Harvey was relieved.

"Then what? He kissed you. Did you tell him 'no'?" questioned Harvey.

"No, I didn't," sniffed Donna as she wiped the dampness from her cheeks.

"Did you want him to kiss you?"

"No!" she shouted, "No, I didn't. I'm sorry Harvey … he … he tricked me," she said, her voice was broken and Harvey couldn't bear seeing her like this. "Harvey, I feel so stupid and so ashamed, but he tricked me. He told me he'd fire Antonio and send him away. Antonio is my friend and he reminds me of Mike so much. I couldn't bear to lose him, not after just losing Mike. He said he would leave Antonio alone if I let him kiss me. So I did."

Harvey didn't know what to say as he watched Donna quivering in front of him. "That goddamn piece of shit," he said finally as he took Donna's hands in his. He couldn't believe she'd let him do this to her. Donna was usually so, well, 'Donna'. She didn't let people walk all over her. Losing Mike must have affected her more than he realised. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd have hit him."

"I already hit him."

"That's why I'm telling you now."

"Doesn't mean I won't hit him again," he joked. It was a welcome lightening of the mood, but his face soon turned serious and lawyer-like again. "I wish you hadn't done it …"

"I know, Harvey," she said as she clutched her hands to her chest, "I know and I hate myself for it. Please don't tell anybody. I couldn't bear it if Jessica and Louis knew."

Harvey shot to his feet and started pacing the room.

"Harvey please, what are you going to do? I can't bear people finding out."

Harvey took hold of her shoulders. A tear flowed down her face and he brushed it away with his fingers. For a moment they were locked together, sharing their pain. "It isn't your fault, Donna, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. Nobody will be angry with you. This is all on him and I promise we're going to make him pay."

Donna sniffed and tried to pull herself together. "How?" she said.

"We're going to come into work first thing tomorrow and we're going to talk about it then. I'll not mention it to Jessica and Louis if you don't want me to. Do you think you can handle seeing him around the office?"

"I put him in his place days ago, Harvey," said Donna more confidently, "Julien knows what I think of him and he knows where he stands."

"Okay good, then take my car home. I'll walk. I need to clear my head."


	13. Chapter 13 - Indecent

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 13 - Indecent

On Friday morning, Donna barely had time to finish her coffee, put down her bag and fire up her console before Harvey entered her office and sat down in her spare chair. She smiled at him from her desk. She was amused by the change of dynamics when they were in her new office – her behind the desk and him sitting opposite, waiting for her to speak.

"What can I do for you, Harvey?" she asked with a smile.

Harvey was looking at her strangely. She couldn't put a description to his expression – worried? frustrated? desperate to tell her something?

"What's on your mind?" she asked again, clicking with her mouse as she opened up her programs.

Still nothing. She stopped clicking to look at him. He looked sad. 'Had something else happened?' she thought as she waited for him to respond.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"What for? What have you done?"

"It's Just all of this stuff with Julien Roche is my fault. I shouldn't have lost it with him and I shouldn't have lost it with you a couple of days ago. I'm an idiot. I let him push my buttons and now I've made things bad for you."

Donna sat back in her chair. She was wearing a forest green satin dress which contrasted dramatically with her red hair. "It's not your fault, Harvey. And …" she twisted her face and widened her eyes, "… and before you say anything, I know it's not my fault either. This is all down to him. We're a strong team and we've been through so much this year already. We'll get through this," she said gently. He caught her supportive gaze. "You are an idiot, though," she added as a joke.

Harvey smiled at her in the way she loved. Her stomach fluttered as his eyes locked onto hers. She had always thought his eyes were his best feature. They conveyed the emotion which he rarely allowed himself to express verbally. "I'm going to make this right, Donna. I don't want you to worry and I don't want you to feel scared any more. I'm glad you told me the truth about what happened and I'm sorry for doubting you. I'm sorry for everything I said."

Donna had already forgiven him for his outburst about Stephen Huntley, as well as all the other questions he'd fired at her about 'the kiss'. "Harvey, its fine. We're good," she said.

"Good," he said as he got up from her chair to leave.

"Have you any idea what we can do yet?" asked Donna.

"I have one or two," he said pensively, "just going to run them past Jessica."

Donna nodded as Harvey left the room and she got on with her work. Harvey would sort it out. Fixing things is what he did best.

X

As lunchtime approached, Donna made her way to the elevators to pick up a bite to eat from the deli over the street. She asked Antonio if he wanted anything as she passed his desk and he said he did and gave her a very detailed recipe for his favourite sub – rye bread, mayo, balsamic vinegar, Italian salami, meatballs, yellow peppers and red onions. It had sounded so nice that she'd told him she might try one herself.

She waited at the elevators for a minute before the one on the far left pinged its arrival, but she stopped dead in her tracks as the doors opened and Daniel Hardman strolled out, flanked by Julien Roche.

"Well, well, well," said Hardman with his trademark grin, "if it isn't Miss Paulsen. My client here was just talking about you so enthusiastically. It seems you've hit it off rather nicely." Julien smirked at Hardman's cutting remarks.

Donna could usually hold her own with Hardman. He knew not to mess with her after the time she'd slapped him – twice – just after Jessica banished him. But, the presence of Julien intimidated her so she said nothing back, instead she lowered her eyes and scurried into the elevator. As the doors closed she heard Hardman and Julien laughing together. "I don't know why you like her so much, Julien," said Hardman, "I've always found her rather dull."

X

Donna felt angry with herself the whole time she was out of the office getting the lunches. She wished she'd said something back to Hardman. It wasn't like her to let his remarks pass. Most of all she hated Julien Roche and she was starting to wonder if she could continue to be near him. Even if Harvey fixed the current nightmare with the assault lawsuit, would she be able to see him every day? 'One step at a time' she told herself as she thanked the cashier, picked up the sandwiches and made her way back to the office.

As the elevator reached the 50th floor, Donna could feel her legs start to shake and she bit down on her lip, refusing to allow her body to react to the … to the what? Fear? Yes, to the fear she was feeling. When the doors opened she inhaled and steadied herself to face whatever or whomever was on the other side. As she approached reception she could see Harvey, Jessica and Louis sitting at the table through the glass walls of the main conference room. Hardman and Julien sat at the other side of the table. She watched Harvey's form to see if she could gauge what was happening. Nobody was shouting. Nobody seemed to be talking angrily at anybody else. She could only see the back of Louis's head but his body language didn't seem to be confrontational. 'Maybe they've sorted it out,' she hoped. Maybe Harvey had fixed it already?

X

At 1.30pm she looked up from her desk in time to see Harvey walk past her office and enter his own. Her stomach sank. He hadn't come directly to her to tell her what had happened, so she imagined the news wasn't good. She caught Antonio's eye as he sat at her old desk and she shrugged at him. Antonio looked into Harvey's office, looked back at her and shook his head. 'Shit, not good then' she thought.

She took a deep breath and walked into Harvey's office. He was at his desk flicking through some documents. He didn't look up at her, but she could tell something was wrong. He was frowning and the veins in his head were bulging.

"What is it?" she said, her voice full of apprehension.

Harvey looked up at her, his eyes were tense and seething. "Sit down," he said.

She stumbled over to his desk and sat at the chair positioned opposite him. "What is it, Harvey, just tell me," she said, "worse news?"

Harvey nodded.

"Please Harvey, please tell me this isn't to do with me, because …"

He shook his head, "no, this is to do with me, not you."

She felt relieved but she was still shaking, her insides tossing as she waited for Harvey to tell her what had happened in the meeting.

"They've scrapped their earlier conditions and they're threatening to pull their investment," said Harvey.

"What? But, Julien isn't the managing partner of Roche & Roche. What does his brother say?"

"I haven't the faintest idea what's going on between Claude and Julien and I don't understand it. Neither does Jessica. She thinks it's out of character for him. She's spoken to him and told him why I did what I did, but he's washing his hands. He's letting Julien manage it."

"So they're threatening to pull out unless what?"

"Unless I step down and leave the firm. It isn't even about the lawsuit anymore. They're not bothering with the deposition on Monday. They've given that up. Julien wants to be co-founder of Pearson Roche and he wants me gone."

"Pearson Roche? And the Litt?"

"Gone too. He says Louis doesn't deserve it because of how he got named partner."

"Shit," said Donna, "Louis will be devastated."

"He is, but he did get named partner underhandedly and he didn't deserve it, so at this point in time, I'm more concerned about me," he snapped.

"What does Jessica think?"

"She told them both where to go, but …"

"But what?" said Donna, realising Harvey may be thinking about Hardman and Julien's proposal.

"Maybe it would be easier if I did go. I've ruined everything Jessica has worked for all her life, I've made Louis into even more of a quivering wreck than he was, I've sent Mike to prison, I've destroyed Rachel and … I've … I've put you in danger."

"I'm not in danger, Harvey," said Donna.

"Donna, I've repeatedly put you in danger. Over Mike, that business with your father and now this thing with Julien."

"Harvey, you hitting Julien Roche hasn't put me in danger," she said hoping there wasn't something else he wasn't telling her.

He looked at her with sadness in his eyes again and it was all she could do to not envelop him in her arms and tell him it would be okay. "Me hitting him makes things difficult for you. There's already talk around the office. People believe Julien's lies."

"Jesus Christ, Harvey, let them talk. I don't care about what nameless nobodies think of me. It only matters what you think of me."

She stopped dead as soon as she said it, catching the surprise in his gaze. 'Strange, he still doesn't know', she thought. Then she added, "and what my friends and family think of me."

"If I left would you come with me?" he said in a whisper. 'How did he not know the answer?'

"Of course I would come with you, Harvey. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth," she said then she grimaced in jest. "Well maybe not that far. I probably wouldn't leave the state." Her eyes had started to water as she looked at him and took in his unhappiness. Defeated. Dejected. Tormented. Remorseful. Just a month ago they'd been well on their way to getting back on their feet. Why did this have to happen?

Harvey's mouth tweaked upwards into a one-sided grin and he stunned her by reaching forward and placing his hand on hers, gently picking it up, lacing his fingers into hers and holding on tight. Donna's stomach flipped at the gesture. This was the most physically intimate he'd been with her for a while – probably ever since the 'Other Time'. "We're in this thing together, no matter what, aren't we?"

"We most certainly are?" she smiled, "but it needn't come down to this. Look at what we've been through as a team. Jessica can't lose you either. Louis can't lose you."

"Correction, Louis can't lose you," he interjected, releasing her hand but giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance before doing so.

"Well … yeah," she smiled, accepting the fact that she and Louis had a special friendship and that he had come to depend on her. "Maybe we should round up support from our new friends too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have Antonio for certain. Stella could be a sure thing?"

"Nah, do you think?" said Harvey. "She backs her team."

"She'd back you over Julien. She thinks he's a what … what did she call him again?" said Donna trying to remember Stella's funny British slang word.

"A nob," laughed Harvey.

"Yeah, that's the one!"

They both looked at each other for a moment, the air thick with emotions as she, yet again, dragged him to the surface by her unwavering faith.

"We could win them all around if we tried, Harvey. Win them onto our side and then we'll convince Claude. All of us together."

Harvey beamed as he realised she was right and he went back to Jessica with their fledgling plan.

X

At 7.00pm Donna was stilling working in her office when Antonio popped his head around the door. "I'm off home now, Donna," he said.

"Have a good night," she smiled back at the young associate / secretary.

"Are you going to be much longer?" he said, turning back on himself, "Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Antonio, I'm nearly done. You get yourself off home."

"Have a good night," he said.

She smiled as Antonio left.

X

At 8.00pm Donna finally powered down her console, picked up her bag and got ready to leave for home.

*ping*

It was a text message. She rummaged in her bag for her cell phone, pulled it out and saw the message was from Harvey. "Thank you for today," it said. She smiled. She didn't want to give herself false hope, but maybe he was getting closer to seeing what had been standing right in front of him for the past thirteen years. She replied back, "We'll have another good day on Monday."

She was too busy staring at her phone to notice the man standing in front of her glass office door. As the door opened she jumped.

"Julien," she gasped.

"I was just passing," he said. His coat was over his arm and he was carrying his briefcase. "Sorry, to frighten you."

Donna's face changed. It got darker as she looked at the person who was destroying her world.

"Get the hell out of my office, Julien," she yelled.

Julien pursed his lips and smiled mockingly. "Now that's not a polite way to speak to your future boss," he said.

Donna shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "Harvey's going nowhere, Julien. But if he did leave, I'd be going with him."

"Ah, so Daniel was right when he told me the way things were between you and him," he smirked provocatively, "I'm not going to tease you by asking what he's got that I haven't, but I am interested to know why you think so little of yourself."

Donna sighed. She wasn't going to play along. "Julien, I really don't have time for these games. I'm going home now."

"Games? This is not a game, Donna, this is your life. Or rather it's your lack of a life because from where I'm standing, you've been waiting a very, very long time for Harvey Specter. Hey, now here's a thought … maybe he's just not 'into' you?"

She told herself she wasn't going to listen to his poison, but the words still stung. 'You're 'into' me,' was what Harvey had said to her back in the DA's office. Just before the Other Time.

"Harvey and I are friends, Julien," she said. Refusing to bite.

"Ah-a," he said. "But you want more. You've wanted more for years. You've watched him with other women wondering why it wasn't you. Poor Donna, it was never you, was it? It will never be you because you're just his secretary. He's a named partner in a law firm, Donna, why would he be interested in you? You're not his equal."

Donna resisted the urge to slap him. She tensed herself to fight back tears even though she didn't believe for one second that he was reflecting Harvey's actual feelings about her. My god this man knew exactly how to push people's buttons. But why? "Why are you doing this, Julien? What have I ever done to you?"

The sincerity of her question blind-sided him for a moment and she could see a glimmer of … well of something flash across his face. 'Did he even know why he was doing this?'

Julien refused to answer Donna's question. Instead he stepped into her office, placed his briefcase on her desk, opened it up and pulled out a document. He turned around and held it up in front of her. "Do you know what this is?"

Donna stared at it blankly. She recognised it as a legal document but her vision was too blurred to read the words.

"Of course you don't. You're just a secretary. Well this is an agreement stating that I, Julien Roche, agree to drop all charges of assault against Harvey Specter. There is a clause further down that says that I, Julien Roche, agree to allow Harvey Specter to remain at the firm. There's even a clause here stating that I, Julien Roche, accept partial responsibility in the assault. And to top it all off, the very last cause assures Pearson Spector Litt that I … Julien Roche … will be returning to Paris within a fortnight of the agreement's signing. Look here …" he said pointing to the last page. "… Here's where I sign, but I haven't. Not yet."

Donna stared at him. Unable to comprehend what all this meant.

He pulled something else out of his briefcase. It was a key attached to a fob with an embossed number on it. "And this," he said twirling the key around his index finger, "this is a key to my rented apartment on the Upper East side. Do you know what the unsigned agreement has to do with this small, unremarkable, little key, Donna?"

Donna's body started to shake and her insides churned. She didn't know what was happening, but Julien's tone of voice, his body language and his glare were terrifying her.

"You don't know do you?" he said.

Trembling, she shook her head.

"Okay, I'll explain it to you slowly. I keep forgetting that you're not an educated person. This little key is for you."

Donna felt like she was going to faint. Her face burned with shame as she slowly started to realise what a key to his apartment meant …

"That's right," he laughed. "I'll pop it right here on your desk for you. As soon as you come to me in my apartment. As soon as you tell me that you're willing to sleep with me. As soon as I accept and make love to you. Then, I will sign this document and poof! All yours and Harvey's and Jessica's and Louis's troubles go way."

He watched her closely revelling in her discomfort. He reached out to stroke her hair but she shot backwards and slapped his hand. He smiled that smile of his again and she felt like she was going to drop to the floor. She wanted to run.

"I can see you're overwhelmed by my offer so I'll leave this with you. Think of what I've proposed. It isn't much, is it? Just an hour or so out of your entire life, then you can go back to waiting another decade for Harvey again. Don't take too long thinking about it though. I get very impatient when I'm made to wait. And I mean VERY impatient."

After he left her office, she slammed the door shut behind him, fell to the floor and cried her heart out.


	14. Chapter 14 - A Problem Shared

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 14 – A Problem Shared

It had been a terrible weekend which Donna had spent mostly in bed feeling ill, crying and sleeping during the day because her nights were filled with anguished, gut-wrenching thoughts about how she might have done things differently. 'If only she hadn't' … if only she'd told Harvey straight away … if only she'd made things clear from the beginning … if only she hadn't let him kiss her.

She rose at 4.30am on Monday morning, unable to sleep, the pit of her stomach churning with what the week ahead might bring. She showered and dressed, choosing the plainest outfit in her closet – a stiff taupe dress with a quilted pattern which had long sleeves and a high neckline. She hadn't worn it twice because it had a scratchy zip which irritated the base of her neck, but it was the least interesting dress she owned. She briefly considered twinning the dress with a cardigan because she wanted to fade away into the background, but she realised that might draw more attention. Donna never wore cardigans to work.

It was almost 6.00am by the time she'd gotten ready. She'd try to perk herself up with a bowl of cereal, but she couldn't eat. Instead she'd had some grapefruit and three cups of coffee. Her mind flitted to work and how she was going to handle Julien Roche. After the kiss she had marched straight to his office and put him in his place. She should do the same again, but she was terrified of facing him. He made her flesh crawl. She couldn't read him and she didn't understand why he was doing this to her. Donna prided herself on her 'Donna-ness'. She was confident, outgoing, popular and witty. She traded on her amazing people skills to be the best at her job and she was never afraid of anyone. She could charm the CEO of a multinational company in the same way as she could charm the janitor. This was who she was, but then only she knew that a big part of being 'Donna' was maintaining a front. Her incredible outer confidence always masked her inner vulnerability. She'd learned a long time ago that if you think confident you become confident.

But there had been times when she'd lost her edge. The time she almost went to jail after the Liberty Rail incident was one of those times. Then, during Mike's trial, she had lost her bottle on the witness stand and caved to Anita Gibbs' interrogation. Then there was the time when Louis broke her when he'd found out about Mike. She hated every time she'd showed fragile Donna to the world, but this time with Julien was the worst of all. She hated the mess she had become because of him.

Donna had left Julien's key on her desk where he had placed it on Friday night. She knew it would still be there when she got to work. She'd have to give it back to him and she'd have to make it clear that she would never. Never in a million years. Sleep with him.

Maybe he knew she would never agree to his proposal. Maybe it was all a game. A game he'd planned because for some sick and twisted reason it amused him to make people suffer. Or rather to make women suffer because it was women who he liked to ensnare in his power games. If only she hadn't allowed him to kiss her last week. That was why he was trying to go one step further and he didn't care about the consequences. Surely he knew what would happen if she told Harvey. Why was he risking another encounter with Harvey's fists?

Although there was no chance in hell that she would ever give in to his request, she had allowed her mind to imagine the consequences of doing so. If she slept with him, would he really leave the country and never bother her again? She doubted it. Would he leave Harvey alone? Probably. But even if he didn't, Harvey could handle Julien Roche on his own. Did he think she'd actually consider doing this? What she was absolutely certain of was that Harvey wouldn't be able to cope if she slept with Julien. It would destroy him and in her present state of mind, the destruction of Harvey was a far more overwhelming reason to say 'no' than the destruction of her pride.

X

Donna entered the offices a little before 7.00am. The 50th floor was quiet with only cleaners and one or two staff members she barely knew dotted around. She made her way to the kitchen, made her fourth cup of coffee, then she walked to her office where she decided to barricade herself for the rest of the day.

The key was there, just where she knew it would be. She picked it up off her desk and hid it in the bottom drawer of her filing cabinet. The drawer she never used.

She didn't feel like getting straight to work so she took her mind off things with a spot of internet shopping. A new dress, a handbag and two pairs of Louboutins later, she had taken the edge off her bad mood. Thank goodness for Christian Louboutin she thought – what would her mood be like without him?

X

At just before 8.30am Louis shimmied into her office.

"Donna, you'll never guess," he said as he jumped around like a puppet on a string in front of her.

"What is it, Louis?" she said, smiling at her friend's effervescence.

Louis bent down to whisper, which was silly as nobody was around. "You'll never guess who's here."

Donna was intrigued. "Who?" she said. Then the penny dropped and she gasped, "is it Richard Gere?"

"What?" said Louis screwing up his face. "No, not Richard Gere. Better."

"Better than Richard Gere?" said Donna, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Well, not in a 1980s heartthrob way, more in a Pearson Specter Litt intrigue way," said Louis as he watched her thrilled expression fade, "so, no time to get your womanly juices flowing, Donna. The person is nothing like Richard Gere."

Donna exhaled in disappointment although she couldn't help giggle inwardly at the exchange she was having with Louis. He was so funny without intending to be. "Okay, you got me. Who is it?"

"Her name is … "

" 'Her' name?" said Donna, screwing up her face.

"Yes, yes, Donna, I told you it isn't anybody who's going to carry you out of the building in his arms with Joe Cocker singing in the background. It's … Francoise Roche."

"Francoise … who?"

"Francoise Roche. Julien Roche's soon to be ex-wife."

"No!" gasped Donna. Instantly, she hoped this would mean a reprieve from Julien's unwanted attentions.

"Yes and guess who she's with?"

"Richard Gere?"

"No, Goddamnit Donna, forget about Richard Gere. She flew here yesterday with Claude Roche and … they're only 'together'."

"What? Julien's ex-wife is 'with' Julien's brother?"

"Damn straight!"

"Louis are you sure, because you haven't got the best track record of interpreting romantic couplings."

"What do you mean, Donna? I've always got my finger on the pulse."

"Sheila and Lorenzo Lamas? Jeff Malone and … erm … you?"

Louis held his hands up. "Okay, okay you've made your point, but … they were 'holding hands'." He lowered his voice as he said 'holding hands' as if it were the most scandalous thing on the planet.

"They're French, Louis. French people are touchy-feely like that."

"Yeah well he was touchy-feeling her ass as he walked her into the conference room," said Louis with a smirk. He was enjoying being the bringer of gossip to the woman who always knew everything.

"No way!" exclaimed Donna, "but wait, do platonic related French people not touch each other's ass?"

Louis stood to attention. "I don't know," he said, his mind visibly ticking over. "But … if they are together that would explain three things. One – it would explain why Julien Roche is a complete goddamn piece of shit who hates women. Two – it would explain why Claude is letting him ride rough-shot over us without stepping in. He wants to make peace with him. And three – it would explain why they've checked into the same hotel suite."

"They've checked into the same hotel suite? Louis why didn't you start with that revelation as opposed to the holding hands?"

Louis shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "Anyway, I've got to go. I'm about to kick Max Schmidt's sausage-sucking ass by getting my proposals for Nijo Industries' restructure to Mr. Yamasaki before him."

And off he went. Donna smiling after him as she sniggered at his rivalry with Max. When would he learn?

X

It was after 10.00am when Donna saw Harvey for the first time that day. He had been in the meeting with Jessica, Claude, Julien and the mysterious Francoise Roche. He came straight to her office and sat down at her spare chair.

"You'll never guess what?" he said.

"Julien Roche's ex-wife is in a relationship with his brother and his brother feels massively guilty and indebted to him so he has given him full control of the team here in New York to make up for the ex-wife stealing."

Harvey's mouth fell open. "How the fuck do you do that?" he said.

"I'm Donna," she said with a wink.

Harvey still looked at her in shock.

"I'm also friends with Louis who came to tell me earlier."

Harvey pouted his bottom lip and twisted his face into a frown.

"So what's the score?" she asked.

"Seems like good news," said Harvey. "Claude isn't pulling out of the deal but, he hasn't decided about me yet. Jessica thinks Julien and Francoise were a 'marriage of convenience' and had been de-facto divorced for years before she hooked up with the brother. Both of them saw other people throughout their marriage. Claude's guilt is misplaced. His brother is just a goddamn piece of shit who didn't care about his wife in the first place. You should have seen them in that room together, Donna. She hates him even more than we do."

Donna smiled widely and she felt her entire body relax, the tension dissipating as she realised Julien had lost his leverage on them … and lost it with her. "So, are we still drumming up support with the European team?"

"You're damn right we are," he said. "Let's kick him in the teeth at the same time his ex-wife has him by the balls."

X

Donna was feeling much better as she got on with her work, finishing a few jobs for Louis and some research work for Harvey by noon. She was about to pop outside to visit her, and now Antonio's, favourite deli, but she had a few things to put back in the file room before lunch time.

She wheeled a trolley piled high with box files around the room making sure she placed what she had needed back in the correct place. She wasn't aware of anybody else being in the room with her, so she was surprised when she heard his voice.

"Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock …"

The words got louder and louder until she came face to face with Julien Roche.

"Tick tock," he said for the last time, his unreadable dark eyes locking onto hers.

Donna did not avert her gaze. She decided she wasn't going to be afraid of this man any more.

"Julien. What can I do for you?" she asked.

He came up closer to her, forcing her backwards, her back now against the shelving. "Just letting you know that I'm still waiting. It's been almost three days."

"Waiting for what?" she said. She looked him in the eye, refusing to let him intimidate her.

"Waiting for you to tell me that you want me to make love to you," he said candidly. "I've been thinking about you all weekend. Thinking about undressing you, seeing the underwear you have chosen to wear for me. I'm thinking black. Something with a bit of lace, something classy. Then I wonder if you look as good naked as you do in your beautiful dresses. I'm thinking you do. I'm thinking about you arching your back and moaning into my hair as I fuck you and when it's all over and I sign that deal, then I'm thinking about you begging me to stay and asking me to fuck you again."

Donna mustered every ounce of strength she had and forced herself to hold it together. Julien was close enough to her that she could smell his scent and feel his breath on her neck. She flinched backwards as he stood in front of her smiling and waiting for a reaction. She felt a wave of nausea hit her as her body shuddered, her skin crawling with the sickening and filthy words he had just said to her. He wasn't a stupid man. She knew he didn't expect for one moment that she was going to break and accept his proposal, so why? Why was he doing this? What the hell was wrong with him?

"Julien, you know that I am not going to say 'yes' to you. You also know that you have nothing to blackmail me with. I'm not going to play these games with you anymore and I don't care … I simply don't care about the horrible things you say to me. The truth is you are nothing to me. Nothing. And you'll always be nothing."

Donna stood forward and pushed Julien out of her way, shooting him a pitying glance as she walked out of the file room and back to the safe haven of her office. Julien watched her leave. His eyes telling her that he was frustrated at his inability to crack her.

X

Donna quickened her pace as she passed her office and went to straight to the restroom, her nausea building as she fought desperately to keep control. She made it just in time, clattering into a stall and heaving up the entire contents of her stomach. When she'd finished she stumbled to the sinks, washed her hands and splashed water on her face.

"Hope whatever's gotten into you ain't catching," came a voice from behind her. She looked up into the mirror to see Gretchen's reflection staring back at her.

"You okay, Red?" she asked. Donna didn't look ill. She looked distressed and beaten.

Donna flicked her hair back and exhaled deeply. Her mouth still tasted of vomit and she felt self-conscious. "No," she said finally. "No, I'm not okay."

Gretchen's dark face was full of concern as she looked Donna's mirror image in the eye. "Want me to get somebody?" she asked.

"No, no, thank you Gretchen," she said, "I'll be fine."

"I know you're not sick, Red, so I can only guess that something's troubling you. Now I ain't one for gossip, but I've heard what folk have been saying around here about you and I don't like it. That French guy is one shady piece of work and I had his number the second I lay my eyes on him …"

Gretchen stopped talking when she noticed Donna was now huddled over the sink, her body wracked with sobs. She walked towards her and put one arm around Donna's shoulder, the other hand stroking her arm supportively. "Oh my, you really need to talk to someone," she said. Then they both stood in front of the mirror for a while, Gretchen holding onto Donna until finally she stopped crying.

"I'm sorry," said Donna wiping at her eyes with a tissue. "I need to get over to the deli. Antonio will be wondering where his sandwich is. Never make an Italian wait for food."

Gretchen broke her gaze from Donna's reflection in the mirror and turned around to look at her. "Honey, I said you need to talk to someone. This thing is too big now. It's time to share it with someone who can help."

"I can't tell Harvey," she said.

"Good lord, I don't mean tell Harvey," said Gretchen with a knowing chuckle, "as much as I love that man he can't help you objectively with this. Not when he feels the way he does about you."

Donna didn't ask Gretchen what she meant by 'he feels the way he does'. She knew. And she knew Gretchen knew.

"You need to tell another woman. Someone who will be able to empathise with what this man is doing to you. And someone who has the power to do something about it."

"Jessica?" she asked with trepidation. She didn't relish opening up to Jessica.

"If you think so, Red," said Gretchen with a wink. She gave Donna's arm an encouraging squeeze as she left her with her thoughts.

X

After lunch, Donna made the slow walk down to Jessica's office, the pit of her stomach lurching at the prospect of sharing what was happening to her with Jessica. She approached the glass walls of Jessica's office and saw her, clad in a soft pink blouse with silk sleeves and a large bow at the neck. She was sitting at her sofa reading through some documents. Donna knocked politely on the glass door as she entered the room and Jessica looked up quizzically when she saw her anxious expression.

"What can I do for you, Donna?" she asked as she motioned for her to sit down on the armchair opposite.

Jessica held her gaze as Donna walked around the room and sat down. When Donna looked up Jessica's beautiful face was filled with concern.

"I have a problem," she said. She was shaking and she could see that Jessica had noticed.

"Go on," Jessica nodded, putting the papers to one side and folding her hands regally in front of her.

"I don't know how much you know, so I'm just going to come right out and say this because I don't know how else to tell you. Julien Roche. I thought I could handle him. I've tried … I've really, really tried, but I can't. And I need … I need you to help me." Donna couldn't stop her voice from breaking and she noticed Jessica shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. She disliked dealing with personal issues almost as much as Harvey.

Jessica inhaled a long intake of breath as she lowered her eyes and looked at Donna. "I've heard," she said. "And Harvey's told me that their fight was to do with you. But, I could sense Harvey wasn't telling me the full story. Are you going to tell me?"

Donna was startled. She gulped and fiddled with the hemline of her godawful dress deciding she wouldn't wear it again.

"Donna, you've asked for my help. I can't help you unless you're honest with me."

Donna's eyes watered as she readied herself to talk. "The day I got my new office Julien found out I'd asked Antonio to do a job which I'd forgotten about. He was going to fire him because he'd barred him from doing any legal work for the firm, but … he said he'd ease up on him if I let him kiss me." She caught Jessica's horrified expression, one eyebrow raised in disbelief at what she'd guessed Donna was going to say next. Donna stuck her tongue into her cheek and shook her head, conveying her own disbelief at what she'd done. "So I did Jessica. I was stupid and I thought that would be it, but …"

"Donna, I can't say I'm not shocked that you let that man do that to you, but this isn't your fault." The shape of her large brown eyes were distorted as she frowned in disgust. "Goddamn him," she said. "Just when we were getting back on our feet." Then she fell silent for a moment. "Wait a minute, did Harvey know about this? Is this why he hit him, as opposed to the bullshit reason he gave of him insulting you?"

"Erm … I think so. I know Julien told him about the kiss."

Jessica nodded pensively as she took in what Donna was telling her. "Why did you both keep this from me?"

"I was ashamed," shrugged Donna, "I didn't want you to know and I made Harvey promise not to say anything. I … I thought I could handle it … but …"

"But what?" said Jessica. "What's happened now?"

Donna sniffed back tears as she tried to find the words needed to tell Jessica the truth. Her eyes darted around the room. Fixing on the plump lilac silk cushion, the crimson floral painting she'd always liked … anything but making eye contact with Jessica. "Last Friday night he came into my office and showed me a paper he was going to sign. He was promising to move back to Paris, let us keep our investment and take responsibility for Harvey assaulting him, dropping all charges." She looked over at Jessica who was waiting coolly for her to continue. "Then he gave me a key to his apartment and he said he'd sign the agreement if … if I slept with him."

Jessica's thick eyelashes met her cheeks as she closed her eyes in revulsion at what Donna was telling her. "Donna, please tell me you didn't."

"No!" shouted Donna abruptly. "Of course I didn't. What do you take me for!"

"I'm sorry," said Jessica quickly, "of course. I'm sorry."

Donna looked down at her lap. She may have said no to him but she still felt cheap and she still felt humiliated.

"Has he said anything to you since?"

"Earlier today he said he was still waiting for me to make my mind up. Then he … he …" Donna's voice cracked again and she had to take in a deep breath to be able to continue. "He told me what he wanted to do to me … in his bed … amongst other things … and Jessica I've tried. Really I have. I'm just scared … I don't know what I can do to get away from him except hand my notice in and run."

Jessica rose from her sofa, reached into her cabinet and took out a bottle of corked red wine. She removed the already popped cork and poured herself and Donna a glass each. "Here, I think you could do with a drink," she says with a reassuring smile, before sitting down in the adjacent armchair.

"Does Harvey know about Julien's attempts to force you to sleep with him?" she asked.

"No," said Donna taking another sip of the wine. Jessica was right. She really needed a drink. "I can't bring myself to tell him, even though he'll be furious that I'm keeping things from him again. He would totally lose his shit, wouldn't he?"

Jessica nodded. "Let me try and sort this out. I will have to tell Claude. Are you okay with that?"

"Whatever you think's best, Jessica."

"Okay, just try to keep your distance. Don't go into a different room on your own if you can help it, don't stay late anymore and don't go to the Roche & Roche corner of the floor under any circumstances. I'm going to need a little time to sort this out, so I need you to keep your head."

"Okay," said Donna decisively.

"Okay," mirrored Jessica, "oh and one more thing. Let's keep this between ourselves for now. Don't tell Harvey."

Donna was surprised at the request but she realised Jessica feared Harvey would kill Julien if he knew what he'd done, so they were protecting Harvey if anything. Another round of trying to keep Harvey out of jail wouldn't do any of them any good, so Donna nodded in agreement.

X

It was 5.40pm and Donna was packing her things up early for the evening. Jessica had made a point of telling her she wasn't to stay late in the office and she wasn't to be alone, so now was the time to go. She figured she might use the extra hours for a trip into the city to cheer herself up. She'd heard Macy's had a good sale on this week.

Just as she was leaving, a woman dressed in black entered her office. Donna hadn't met the woman before, but she was styled impeccably in a classic Chanel suit, her brown hair fastened up in a pleat. She was older than Donna, but her flawless make-up accentuated her natural beauty.

"Can I help you?" asked Donna.

"Excuse me, I am sorry, but are you Donna Paulsen?" the lady asked in a very thick French accent.

Donna knew who she was immediately and she sat down at her desk, her stomach flipping with nerves. "Yes, I am."

"My name is Francoise Roche, Mademoiselle Paulsen," said the Frenchwoman, "And I wish to talk with you for a moment about my husband."

Donna gulped. She didn't want a confrontation with this woman. "What about him?" she asked.

"I need to tell you to be careful. He is a very troubled man. I have seen him destroy people's lives and I know … at least I have heard … what he has already made you do. I do not want him to cause you any more pain, so please. Do everything in your power to stay away from him."

Donna was stunned. Later, when she was at home in her apartment she regretted that she didn't ask Francoise more about Julien's past, but the sadness and the regret in this woman's eyes meant she didn't want to interrogate her. She watched her leave and she decided to do as she advised – keep away from Julien. So, she went home early that night.


	15. Chapter 15 - Battle Lines

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 15 – Battle Lines

Harvey arrived at work at his usual 8.15am and went straight to his office. Donna wasn't in yet, which he found strange as she always arrived before him. Harvey wasn't a morning person so his reputation as the last senior partner to get into work was well known.

"Antonio, you seen Donna yet?" he buzzed the associate/secretary from his office.

"No, I was needing her myself," said Antonio.

"Okay, I need you to do something for me."

When Antonio entered Harvey's office he looked the young Italian up and down. His suit was weird. His shoes were even weirder. He smiled inwardly as he remembered how Mike used to dress when he started work at the firm five years ago. He got so much mileage out of making fun of his cheap suits and skinny ties. Then he checked himself. Antonio was not Mike. Donna had welcomed Antonio with open arms and they'd become good friends. She was the first to make a connection between the two men, but Harvey didn't like it. He thought Antonio was a good guy, but he couldn't take Mike's place. That space was unfillable by anybody.

"What can I do for you, Harvey?" asked Antonio.

"I need you to finish the work on the Greystone restructure. I'm behind with it now and it needs to be done today. Donna's done the leg work, but there's legal forms to complete that she's not up to speed with that. Can you get onto it until she's here, then maybe show her how to finish it?"

Antonio looked apprehensive. "Do you think that's a good idea?" he asked.

Harvey shrugged. He didn't know what Antonio meant. "Yes," he snapped, "… oh … right … hey, Donna will be fine, don't worry about her. She'll not think you're treading on her toes. She'll be pleased if you get that contract work out of the way for her."

"I didn't mean that, Harvey," he said, "I meant I've been banned from doing anything other than answering your phones and setting your meetings."

"By Julien Roche, you have!" shouted Harvey. "Do you think I give a shit about that son-of-a-bitch's orders? Listen, Antonio, I don't know you very well yet, but Donna likes you so that means I like you too. Can I trust you?"

"Of course," said Antonio.

"Sit down," said Harvey as he watched the younger man and his weird suit take the seat in front of him. Antonio looked intrigued. "Before I start, this stays between us, okay?"

Antonio nodded. Then gulped.

"I'm making a move on Julien Roche. I want to oust him from the firm and I need the European team to back me when I do it. I need to know where you stand."

Antonio didn't have to think twice. "I'm with you, whatever it takes," he said. My loyalties have been with you and Donna ever since I got here."

"Even if that means you're at odds with your old team?"

Antonio nodded and smiled at Harvey, "well, I didn't see any of them backing me when Julien demoted me, did you?"

Harvey raised his eyebrows in realisation that only Stella of the Roche & Roche team had ever made it known that Julien's behaviour was unacceptable. "Good," said Harvey. "Oh, and as far as I'm concerned you're an associate again. As soon as you finish the work on Greystone, I'll see to it that you get your own cases."

Antonio beamed at Harvey's offer. "Thank you Harvey, thank you," he said, "I won't let you down. But, you didn't have to do this to get my support. You had my loyalty anyway."

"I know I did," said Harvey with a grin. "Let's just say you remind me of somebody, kid."

X

By 9.00am Harvey noticed Donna had arrived. He smiled as he spotted she was wearing her cornflower blue dress, the one that was quite short and gathered with a frill to the side of her waist. He always loved the colour of that dress and how it contrasted with her bright red hair.

"Where have you been until this time?" he asked as she shuffled around her desk, stacking papers together into files.

"Jessica's orders," she said.

"Eh?" said Harvey. "Jessica ordered you to be late?"

"No, she told me to work my hours and not leave my office unless I need to. She wants me to keep away from Julien."

Harvey was surprised. He didn't think Jessica would have noticed or cared that much about Donna's discomfort around Julien. "Good idea," he said. "Antonio is doing the Greystone contracts for you, I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind? Less work for me to do," she smiled.

"And, I've told him he's an associate again," he said.

"You have?" said Donna excitedly, "that's great. He'll be really pleased."

"Yeah, he seems like a good guy."

"He is," said Donna.

"Donna," said Harvey.

"Uh-huh," she said with her back to him as she stapled a few pieces of paper together and placed them into a blue folder.

"I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight?"

Donna turned around and grinned. "You asking me out on a date?" she laughed, deliberately teasing him.

Harvey felt his face flush. "Yes, … I mean … no … I mean just our usual Wednesday thing …?"

"Today is Tuesday," said Donna.

"Well I guess I'm asking you out on a date then," he said with a smile. "What do you say?"

"That depends on where you are taking me," she said, still not quite realising that he was being sincere.

"No idea," he laughed.

"I can see you've given this a lot of thought," she said with a giggle.

"Yeah, I've given it about 30 seconds of thought, but I think it would be good for us if we spent some time together away from here, and …" He stopped. Was he doing this? He felt his chest constrict as he realised he was.

"And …" said Donna teasingly.

"And I want us to have proper … you know … dates."

Donna fell back in shock. "Proper … dates?" she said, "you mean … like two people who … you know …"

"Two people who care about each other," he offered.

Donna's face lit up as she took in what Harvey was asking her. "Harvey are you sure about this?" she asked, half-smiling. Her eyes were narrowed suspiciously, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"Yes, I'm more than sure," he said decisively. He silently patted himself on the back for giving all the right answers. Something he rarely did.

"And just to double-check. You're asking me on a date-date and not a friend-date or a work-date?"

Harvey fell silent for a moment. His brain automatically registered that it was 'right answer' time again, but his heart was beating a hundred times faster than his brain was thinking which was making the thinking very difficult. "Yes," he said at last, looking sheepish. "Date-date".

Donna looked stunned again. "Okay," she said. "I'll see you tonight."

"Great," said Harvey, beaming.

X

Harvey left Donna's office feeling like a new man. He didn't know if he'd said the right words, but he was smiling and he felt good, so he decided he'd probably done okay. He'd known for a while that he loved Donna. In truth, he'd loved her for thirteen years, but he'd been confused over whether he loved her as a friend or if he loved her as more than a friend. Not wanting to ruin what they had, he'd buried any ideas of 'romance' as far down into his subconscious as he could and as they grew closer he became more sure that anything outside of friendship would destroy them. So, even though Donna knew him inside out and he couldn't imagine his life without her at his side, he was terrified of bringing these feelings to the surface. He was terrified of trying for a relationship when he'd never had one in his 40+ years of life that had lasted more than a few months. Most of all he was terrified of losing her and that's why he decided to do things right from the start.

He crossed to the other side of the building and spotted Stella chatting to Ingrid Lindstrom. "You look … unusually … happy," she said as he bounded down the corridor.

Harvey twisted his face and frowned. "Do I?" he asked in surprise. He was happy. Happier than he'd been in months. "Am I not usually happy?"

"No you're not and it's very unsettling," said Stella bluntly. "I haven't known you a month yet and every time I've seen you you've been as pissed as a sailor about something and that's only when you weren't beating the shit out of someone!"

Harvey widened his eyes and made a mock-puzzled face. Stella was right though. He'd been on the warpath for weeks.

"I need a word with you about something," he said to Stella. Ingrid, Julien Roche's Swedish secretary looked desperate to know what he wanted, raising her eyebrows at Stella.

"Okay, sounds ominous," joked Stella as she walked to her office, looking back to make faces at Ingrid.

Stella shut the door behind her looking over to Julien's office to make sure he wasn't around. "You've got five minutes because I don't want any shit from Monsieur Douchebag if he spots me talking to you," she said grouchily, "plus I've had a crap morning …. look at the bloody state of me …" Stella showed him a gigantic run in her hose that went from her ankle, all the way up past her knee. She was dressed in a bold, poppy-red floral figure hugging dress which accentuated her hourglass proportions. The neckline was particularly dramatic and Harvey found himself averting his eyes as she bent over to show him the offending left stocking.

"Okay, I'll get straight to the point," said Harvey. "I need your help."

"Still sounding ominous there, Harvey," she quipped, her bright green eyes narrowing under a hedge of thick black eyelashes.

"How is asking for your help ominous?" said Harvey despairingly.

"Because you're up to something," she said knowingly, "so spill the beans."

"The … beans?"

Stella sighed. "Figure of speech," she said, "means tell me what's on your mind."

Harvey was baffled by Stella's brand of English slang. Often he didn't have the faintest idea what she was talking about. "I'm making a move to oust Julien Roche and I need you to help me by stepping up and taking his place to run the European team."

"You wh-what?" she asked. "Why?"

Harvey frowned at her. "Jesus Christ Stella, you know why, surely? That man has been nothing but trouble since he got here. He's brought in Hardman to pull one over on us, he's stolen old clients, he's tried to get force me to stand down, he's sued me for assault … and he's blackmailed Donna and then totally fucking stalked and harassed her. Do you know Jessica's had to practically imprison her in her office to keep him away from her? And through all of this, none of your team has done a goddamn thing about it!"

"That's not fair, Harvey," said Stella. "I'm sorry Julien's done that and Christ and I'd do anything to help Donna, but it's not that simple."

"Why the hell not?" he yelled at her. "You're nobody's goddamn fool, Stella! You know what this man is. I've told you before, the battle lines are drawn and you need to choose a side."

Stella's cherry-red lips disappeared into a thin line. There was something she was keeping from him. He could always tell when women were keeping him in the dark.

"Stella, spill the beans," he said.

Stella sighed and looked distressed as she stood in front of Harvey. This wasn't like her. After Jessica, Stella was the most hardnosed woman in the firm. "It's about my ex," she said.

"Your ex?" asked Harvey in surprise. "What about him?" He didn't know Stella had been married.

"He's a lawyer at Roche & Roche in Paris," she said. "We were married for five years and we worked together. He's French and he'd known Julien for quite a while before I joined the firm. Julien didn't like me from day one. Oh, and by the way, yes he did try it on with me. When I first started as an associate, fresh from London, he came on to me in a bar after a charity gala we were all attending, but … well … let's just say he learned very quickly that I'm not his type."

Harvey could only imagine how Stella had shown Julien she wasn't his type. He knew Julien was a snake, but he must have been mad to try anything with Stella. "Is there any woman in your firm that he hasn't come on to?" asked Harvey.

"Not many," said Stella. "He is a total piece of shit, Harvey, I'm with you wholeheartedly with everything you want to do to him, whether that's professionally or with your fists. But … my ex, Tomas … well let's just say that Julien has something on him which would make his life very difficult if it got out."

"So he's blackmailing you too?" asked Harvey, impulsively clenching his fists. He knew there must be a reason. He had never been able to work out how Stella managed to keep her cool around Julien.

Stella nodded. "Let's just say he's using Tom to buy my loyalty," she said. "And, believe me there's no love lost between Tom and I. He was a bloody knob for the last couple of years we were together. In fact, I couldn't wait to get away from him, but … well even though he's an idiot he's still a good man. Actually, he's a good man who is king of the mother of all fuck-ups, but a good man nonetheless and I don't want …" Stella's composure broke as she said the final words, "… I don't want to see him go to prison."

Harvey stiffened in his seat and shook his head at Stella's revelation. God how he hated that man. "I understand," he said.

Stella nodded, "thank you," she replied.

"What about the other members of your team?" asked Harvey, "What are my chances getting Max Schmidt on side?"

"Honestly?" said Stella. "I've absolutely no idea. He and Julien don't have a past. Max has always worked from Frankfurt. All I know is he's a stickler for procedure and he never gets involved with politics. He comes here, does his job and then he goes home. He thinks of nothing but work. You could have a shot with him, I don't know, but do you think he's capable of leading a team? I've put off getting to know him due to him being the most boring man in the universe."

"What about the other … erm … I forget her name?"

"Marina?" said Stella. "Marina is a no-no. She doesn't get involved either. And … well … between you and me, there have been rumours about how she made Senior Associate given she barely knows the difference between a subpoena and a submarine. The rumours involve Julien, so I'll let you imagine the rest."

"Seriously? You think she screwed him for her job title?"

"Absolutely," said Stella, "it's practically a dead cert. You know that's the type of shit Julien gets off on. I don't know Marina well enough to make an assessment as to whether or not she'd bang him for her career, but all the evidence points north, doesn't it? Everyone in Paris knew what Julien Roche was, but when he's brother to the owner of firm, you tend not to find that many people who'll speak out."

"What the hell am I going to do, Stella?" said Harvey. "I need this man gone."

"Claude? I mean you can always try going through the proper channels to get shot of Julien and from where I'm standing, Claude's your best chance."

"But what's this thing about him and the ex-wife?"

"I heard they'd been together since Claude's wife died a few years ago. Julien pretends he's hurt about it, so Claude goes out of his way to make amends. Julien doesn't give a shit in reality. It was always a marriage of convenience between him and Francoise. Also, did you know he and Claude are only half-brothers? Julien's mother was Daddy Roche's mistress so Julien was the runt of the litter and he grew up resenting Claude. He's always felt inferior to him and his life has revolved around beating him and gaining power, whether that be power in the firm, power with women or power over anybody he comes into contact with. Power is what feeds him. As soon as he gets what he wants he tires of it and moves onto the next thing."

Harvey's face was flushed with rage as Stella spoke about Julien. He'd never met anybody who had absolutely no redeeming features. Even Charles Forstman came a close second to Julien Roche.

He looked up through the glass wall of Stella's office and he saw Julien make an entrance, barking orders at Ingrid on his way. Daniel Hardman was glued to his side and they were laughing together. Harvey saw red, bolting upright and moving towards the door. Stella instantly saw his reaction and physically positioned herself in the way. "No, Harvey," she said forcefully. "Think about what you're doing. You need to calm the hell down and get your shit together for all of our sakes."

Harvey looked into her eyes. She was genuinely pleading with him to take stock. He nodded and made his excuses to leave, promising he wouldn't do anything stupid … again.


	16. Chapter 16 - Destruction

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 16 – Destruction

Donna felt very strange about the events that had unfolded earlier in the day. Harvey had asked her out! Every time she thought about her conversation earlier she involuntarily grinned so widely she thought she must look like one of the Muppets. Of course, her and Harvey had gone out to dinner several times in the past – including on 'their Wednesday' – but this was something different. It was, according to Harvey himself, a 'proper date'.

She couldn't think of anything else but the date for most of the day. She wondered if he finally felt he was 'ready'. She recalled the conversation they'd had in the café over breakfast a few weeks back. It was the morning after they'd gotten stoned, with Louis, in the office and things were so very different back then. They were all happier and optimistic about their new partnership with Roche & Roche. It was before they met Julien. She recalled every word Harvey had said to her that morning and she'd felt content to conclude that he did love her, but that he wasn't quite ready to do something about it. 'Maybe he thinks he's ready now', she thought. And she wasn't 100% sure whether a 'ready' Harvey Specter was a good thing or a terrifying thing, but she did know it was a 'let's see what happens' thing.

Donna had just finished completing the case on the Greystone restructure when her phone buzzed. It was Jessica asking her to come down to the office. She sounded serious, which wasn't unusual for Jessica, but she was still concerned.

On the way down the corridor she saw him. Julien. He was walking towards her and she stumbled for a moment, wondering if she should turn tail and march back to her office for refuge. 'No that's ridiculous,' she thought, so instead she walked straight past him, refusing to make eye contact. 'Tick tock, tick tock,' she heard him chant as he passed by and her stomach lurched.

When she arrived at Jessica's office she saw Claude Roche was in the room with her and she felt apprehensive about what they were going to say. 'Had Jessica told him already?' She hoped she wouldn't have to go into details about what Julien was doing to her in front of his brother. That would be humiliating. She knocked on Jessica's door politely before walking into the room.

Claude Roche immediately bounded forward to greet her. "Mademoiselle Paulsen," he said warmly, extending his hand. "Please, will you join us?"

Donna smiled at Claude and took a seat on one of Jessica's armchairs. He and Jessica sat on the sofa opposite. Donna wondered about Claude. She had met him on a handful of occasions and he seemed a nice man. As the head of one of Europe's most successful international law firms he was obviously a very clever, driven and talented man, but on top of that he seemed genuinely kind too. He had friendly blue eyes, a lovely smile and wavy grey hair which he kept long to the base of his neck. He had a neat, well-kept beard and he dressed well. Donna imagined he was well into his fifties but he still looked good for his age. How the hell was this man Julien Roche's brother?

They sat in silence for a moment. Jessica waiting for Claude to speak. Claude shifting awkwardly on the sofa. Donna decided to take the lead. "So, why have you called me in here," she asked.

Claude cleared his throat. "Mademoiselle Paulsen … its Donna, isn't it? May I call you Donna?" he asked politely. Donna nodded. "Jessica has spoken to me about some trouble … erm … maybe a misunderstanding of some sort that you've had with my brother."

Jessica looked uncomfortable at his choice of words. "Misunderstanding?" questioned Donna. "There hasn't been a misunderstanding. What are you saying?"

Claude looked across the coffee table at Donna, realising this was going to be difficult. "Forgive me," he said, "I am just hoping we can work this out amicably. Please, what do you think would be the best thing for you? What would you like me to do?"

Donna felt a bit cross. She had hoped Claude would be more forthright. "Mr. Roche, a senior lawyer at the firm where I work is currently harassing me to sleep with him. I have the basic human right, surely, to come to work without being pressurised into having sex. What is your company's policy on sexual harassment?"

Jessica smiled at Donna, letting her know she'd handled the question well. Claude looked embarrassed and a bit shell shocked. "I would fire them instantly," he said.

"Then please fire him," said Donna.

"It's not that simple," replied Claude. "Julien owns part of my firm. It was founded by my father and I thirty years ago, but Julien still owns a small percentage. Plus he is my brother, I cannot fire him. Do you not think there's a way we can work this out?"

Donna was stunned. "No," she said. "Mr. Roche yesterday Francoise came to see me. Did she tell you that?"

Claude shook his head, his eyes filled with anxiety. He was a man in turmoil. Donna could sense he was struggling to come to terms with both his brother's behaviour and with the fact he had to act.

"Francoise warned me to be careful because Julien had destroyed so many people's lives. Do you even know about this because it seems to me like you are ignoring this issue? How many more people are going to get hurt by your brother before you do something about it?"

Jessica stiffened, "Donna," she said with a 'watch yourself' tone of voice.

Claude raised his hand in the air. "It's okay Jessica. Donna needs to say how she feels and she has a good reason to be angry. I am afraid my love for my brother and my hopes that he will one day find happiness and stop behaving so badly clouds my judgement. Yes, of course, Francoise tells me about Julien. I'm so sorry for the things he has put you through … I just can't … I can't think of a way out of it which wouldn't completely destroy him."

Donna sighed heavily. She understood Claude's dilemma, but she was frustrated that he couldn't see how Julien's behaviour left him no choice but to act.

"Claude, you know my firm has just been through a terrible scandal which nearly destroyed us," said Jessica with sincerity. "The scandal happened because all of us, me, Harvey, Louis and even Donna here made some bad choices. I wouldn't recommend any law firm risks going through what we went through. Brother or not, you have someone on your team who is breaking the law. You turn a blind eye to it, as a law firm, and you'll be finished. You can learn from my mistakes here."

Claude sat pensively, fiddling with the buttons on his suit jacket.

"And Claude I have to say this too," said Jessica softly but sternly. "Donna is my friend and she means a lot to me. You brought that man into my firm and he hurt someone I care about. So, if you can't think of a way to get rid of him, I'll kick his goddamn ass all the way back to Paris myself."

Donna had always had admiration for Jessica so she wasn't surprised that she'd taken a stand against Julien, but she was taken aback that she'd called her a friend. Jessica had never referred to her as anything other than Harvey's secretary before.

"I know you're right, Jessica," said Claude sadly. "I am going to transfer Julien back to Paris. I know it is the only way. I don't think you need a replacement from Roche & Roche, so I'm happy for you to manage my team as well as your own, Jessica. For what it's worth, Donna, we would never have withdrawn investment, no matter what Julien said to you."

Donna breathed a sigh of relief. As did Jessica.

"That will be all Donna," said Claude, "and please accept my deepest apologies. I am so very sorry for how my brother has treated you."

"Thank you, Claude," said Donna, before leaving the room.

X

Later that afternoon Louis burst into Donna's office. "Donna you'll never guess what?" he said in his usual animated style.

"What is it, Louis? You look … happy?"

"Not as happy as you're going to be!"

"Holy shit, Richard Gere?"

"No, Goddamn it Donna, will you give up on Richard Gere. He's old enough to be your father anyway!"

"That wouldn't stop me," she teased, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Yeah, well you won't be hitting the hay with him today. Actually, or any day for that matter. He fired us."

"No way, when?"

"We lost him months ago. Didn't Harvey tell you?"

"No he didn't!" she said with a pet lip. "What am I going to do with this?" She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a framed photo of Richard Gere. "I wanted to get his autograph."

"Donna, that photo is 40 years old. What the hell do you think he looks like now? He probably can't sign his name for the arthritis in his bony old-man's fingers."

"How dare you question the virility of Richard Gere?"

"I'm not questioning his virility. I'm telling you he's old."

"Who's old?" asked Harvey as he practically bounced into Donna's office.

"Never mind," said Donna, "you're happy too. This is weird. What's going on?"

"Julien Roche is packing up his stuff. His brother is putting him on the first plane back to Paris," said Harvey gleefully.

"No way!" said Donna, jumping up from her desk.

Louis looked peeved. "Hey I was just about to tell her that," he said.

"Well you took too long babbling on about Richard Gere, Louis," said Donna.

Louis opened his mouth to say something but promptly slapped it shut again. He spun around, puffed out his chest and marched back to his own office, muttering all the way.

"So," said Harvey, "seems like we're going to have something to celebrate when we're out tonight."

"We certainly will," beamed Donna. "I'm going to be wanting a few drinks as well as dinner," she said.

"Damn right," said Harvey. "You deserve more than a few."

They both looked at each other, their eyes locking as they laughed over the prospect of a really good night out. "I've got to get on," said Harvey finally as he backed out of her office as happy as he went in.

X

As 7.00pm approached, Harvey and Donna found themselves with an emergency on their hands. Greystone Inc. had called an hour previous to tell them they had missed something on all the level one through three staff contracts and they'd have to redo them. Harvey was furious, not just because it had ruined his night, but also because company restructures bored the shit out of him and he was sick to death of this job.

By 8.30pm, Harvey was getting more agitated. "How much have you got left to do?" he asked.

"About ten more level twos," she said with a massive yawn. She was irritated too. She'd really been looking forward to her and Harvey's date.

"Right, I have an idea," he said finally. "There's a brand new Thai place opened on the corner of 53rd and 2nd. It's literally just around the corner. What do you say I go get dinner and bring it back to the office? I won't be long. Half an hour at the most. You can finish the level twos while I'm away."

Donna looked up from the pile of papers on Harvey's corner table. "That sounds fabulous," she said to him with a smile.

Harvey smiled back. "Great" he said as he grabbed his suit jacket and went on his way.

X

Hoorah. Twenty minutes later and all of the level two staff contracts were finally completed. Donna gathered up the papers on Harvey's table to make room for their makeshift dinner date. As she was tidying, she smiled. She'd had a good day today and Harvey had been so sweet.

She took some of the documents back to her own office, placing them in colour-coded files ready to present to Greystone Inc.

She was just about to return to Harvey's office to wait for him when her world came crashing down around her shoulders, shattering her good mood. She turned towards the door and there he was. That man. Again.

Donna's heart sank as she stared at Julien. He cut a pathetic figure, dejected, lonely, hated. He'd always been pathetic, but now she knew he had no power over her. "What are you doing here, Julien?" she asked. Her strong tone of voice didn't betray the fear she felt inside.

"I was just coming to tell you that I don't think I can leave for Paris without seeing if you really do look better with your clothes off."

Donna started to shake, but she took a deep breath and managed to go on. "I think it's time you left, Julien. Right now." she said. "Harvey is due back any minute."

Julien walked towards her, forcing her backwards onto her desk. She was petrified. "Are you afraid of me?" he asked.

"No," she said. "Why would I be? Are you afraid that Harvey's going to beat the shit out of you if you're still here when he gets back?"

Julien laughed darkly. "Oh no, I'm not afraid of Harvey," he said. "Now, how do we get this off you?" he asked as he reached forward and trailed his fingertips down the strap of her dress.

Donna slapped his hand away instinctively. Her heart was pumping so fast that she felt like she was going to faint and she could taste the fear rising from her stomach to her throat, the bile burning as it journeyed up her oesophagus.

"Don't be like that," he said, "I only want to look at you."

Donna began to cry. "Julien, please," she begged. "Please, just leave me alone."

"I don't want to leave you alone. I've been waiting weeks to make love to you. Don't you see, that's all I've thought about since I first saw you at our welcome party? Why did you have to make it so difficult for me?" he asked, his face twisted with frustration.

"Because I don't like you," said Donna emphatically. "I've never liked you. I told you before. You make me sick."

A flash of darkness crossed Julien's eyes and the next thing Donna felt was a hard smack to the side of her face. She had never felt anything like it before as the pain took hold of her cheekbone, feeling like it had been broken in two. She stumbled to the side, her head crashing forwards onto Julien's torso.

Julien grabbed Donna by her upper arms and pushed her against her office wall. "You think I'm going to let you say that to me?"

Donna, hurt and terrified, tried everything she could to compose herself but it was no good. She was shaking with fear, she was crying and Julien's hands were digging into her arms, forcing her to stay still. She wanted to scream but there was no sound when she opened her mouth. She was trapped and she wanted to run, but everything around her was still, frozen in time, imprisoning her in this man's presence. She shut her eyes and willed Harvey to appear at the doorway, but aside from Julien's heavy breaths, the office was silent.

"It's your fault my brother is sending me back to Paris! What did you say to him? Did you tell him about us?"

Donna stared at him in horror. "… about … us?" she croaked.

"Yes, did you tell him about you having the key to my apartment? He gets jealous you see." His face was inches away from Donna's as he groped the front of her dress, his hand stroking every contour of her upper body. Donna pushed him off and tried to run, but he caught her by her hair and pushed her up against the wall again, slamming her head backwards with another loud bang.

The next few moments happened so fast. The back of her head throbbed from the blow and her vision blurred. She felt she was going to collapse as the room spun slowly around her. Then suddenly, Julien's mouth was on hers as he rammed his body up against her, pinning her to the wall. She screamed into his mouth as he kissed her, he holding her still by her neck. Then his hands ripped at the front of her dress, tearing the material down the middle so that he could push his hands inside, grabbing onto the soft flesh underneath as he groped inside her bra. In horror at what was happening to her, she managed to bite his lip and he shot back releasing his hold, screaming in pain. Again she tried to run, but he was back onto her, striking her jawline and pushing her headfirst into her desk. From there, she could taste blood in her mouth and her body began to shut down accepting that she'd lost. She couldn't fight him anymore so she gave up to the inevitable. She braced herself for the pain that was about to come as Julien lifted up the skirt of her dress and grabbed at her underwear, tearing the garment as he pulled it from her. She shut her eyes and silently begged Harvey to appear. Why wasn't he here? Why did he have to leave her?

She could hear Julien fiddling one-handedly with his belt, the other hand holding her to the desk by her neck. And then she saw it. Without thinking, she reached her arm out and grabbed her silver plated letter opener. It was now or never. Wait another second longer and he would be hurting her in the worst way imaginable.

With her very last ounce of strength, Donna twisted her body around and drove the sharp end of the letter opener through Julien's hand, the office filled with both her screams and his as she then pulled it out and sent it into the top of his shoulder, the knife stopping when it hit his bone. Julien fell back onto the floor, blood pouring from his hand and redness spreading across the shoulder of his white shirt. He lay on the floor screaming "oh, god" as she finally broke free and ran.

She ran to Harvey's office – the place she knew he'd come – and she waited for him.


	17. Chapter 17 - Lights Guide me Home

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 17 – Lights Guide me Home

Harvey cursed the waiter in the Thai restaurant for taking so long. He looked at his watch - 9.30pm. He had been waiting over 40 minutes in the crowded restaurant which was full of tourists and those on a night out, but also full of people in business attire who had piled in for a meal after a late night at the office. When the server finally arrived with their food packaged up in a paper bag, he thanked him and gave him a small tip. He couldn't be bothered to complain about the wait. He wasn't going to let the fact the waiters were rushed off their feet tonight spoil the remainder of his evening.

His stomach rumbled as he made the short walk back to the office. He was so hungry. The streets weren't as busy as during the day as this was the business area of the city, but there were still plenty of people around and the roads were lined with yellow taxi cabs taking people up and down the streets to theatres, bars and restaurants, as well as back home.

As he approached his building he saw a group of people standing around the south side entrance. A police car was also positioned outside. 'Must be a drunk', he thought as he walked past, his eyes glancing over at the scene. He could make out the figure of a man sitting on the floor and a young lady was holding a jacket to his shoulder. The man's shirt was splattered with blood and a bright patch of red seeped out from underneath the jacket. He walked closer to the group. Something was drawing him in. Something was familiar. The man lifted his head up and looked at Harvey. They watched each other for a few moments, both of them taking time to realise who they were looking at. 'Julien', mouthed Harvey.

Harvey had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and his chest felt uncomfortable. His head was telling him something very bad had happened, but he didn't know why. He went over to see if he could help, but an officer stopped him in his tracks.

"I know this man," said Harvey, "he works with me. What's happened to him?"

"We don't know yet as he isn't saying much," said the police officer. "Just babbling in … French I think. We're just waiting for an ambulance. Looks like he's been stabbed. We don't have any witnesses. When did you last see him?"

Harvey stared in disbelief at Julien. He was sitting on the pavement, his body hunched over while the officers and passers-by tried to help him. "I haven't seen him since this morning," said Harvey.

"Do you want to accompany him to the hospital?" asked the officer.

"Oh I'm not his friend," he said quickly. "Here, I have his brother's number. Just a minute." Harvey scrolled through his cell phone and gave the Police Officer Claude Roche's contact details. "I'll just have a quick word with him if that's okay," said Harvey. The officer nodded before radioing in the details Harvey had given him.

Harvey walked over to where Julien sat and he hunched down in front of him. Julien's face was dark and expressionless, despite his grave injuries. There was an obvious wound to his left shoulder, but what Harvey hadn't noticed before was that his right hand was covered with blood too and half of his shirt sleeve was red. Another bystander had wrapped a scarf around his hand trying to stem the bleed.

Harvey didn't feel any compassion. He knew that whomever had attacked Julien would probably have had a good reason. Even if it was a random act of violence, he didn't care. He hated this man. "What happened?" he asked him quietly, not wanting to give his animosity away to the bystanders.

Julien looked at him but said nothing. Harvey saw the corners of his mouth twist upwards into a smirk. And then it hit him. The clawing feeling he'd had since he first spotted Julien … nagging at the back of his mind … the feeling that had gotten worse and worse as he watched his strange expression … he'd known from the beginning. He didn't know why he knew, but the dread and the distress and the revulsion was overwhelming. "What have you done, Julien? Tell me now. What have you done?"

"Hey, calm down, sir," said the lady pressing her jacket to Julien's shoulder, "this poor guy's really hurt."

Harvey took no notice. "What have you done?" he repeated. "Tell me now or so help me …"

Julien's face was still blank, aside from that slight smile. Nobody else but Harvey saw it.

"I won't tell if she doesn't," said Julien finally. His eyes told Harvey everything and nothing, but it was all he needed to know as he shot to his feet and ran into the building.

X

The journey up to the 50th floor was longer than Harvey ever remembered. His heart was pounding in his chest and his stomach burned with the bile which threatened to erupt from his throat. 'What had he done to her?' His head crammed with terrible thoughts, each one worse than the last as he tried in vain to block them from his mind. He steadied himself against the elevator wall counting through the floors 21,22, 23 … what was he going to find? His neck throbbed with pressure and he could feel every muscle in his body pulse against his rapid heartbeat. It was all he could do to stay standing. It was all he could do not to scream at the top of his lungs.

*Ping* came the sound of the elevator as it reached the 50th floor. He stumbled out and started running down the familiar corridor towards his office. There was nobody around. There was no sign of Donna.

As he ran he willed her to appear in her lovely blue dress, shuffling papers, demanding to know what had taken him so long with their food – the food he had left on the pavement outside, but there was no sign of her. There was only quiet.

He stopped running as he approached her office. He walked to the doorway and nearly collapsed as he saw the scene before him. Papers, files and stationery from her desk were strewn all over the floor. The desk was bare of all of her work, box files tipped over, plants tipped over. Even her phone was hanging off the side of the desk, the receiver giving off an irritating buzz. Pictures from her wall were lying on the ground and furniture was overturned. He looked to the carpet and his body screamed out in horror at what he saw, his chest beating and his limbs threatening to collapse under him. Blood. There was patches of blood all over and there was … ripped clothing … he fell to his knees and he screamed out her name.

'Where was she?'

Harvey had never felt so much pain in his life. He dragged himself off the floor and stumbled out of her office and into his own. He called out her name again but there was still no answer.

And then he saw her.

She was sitting in the corner of his room, huddled against his record shelves. Her legs were curled around her and her head was buried into her knees. She looked up when she saw him, but she wasn't crying. She was frozen. Her eyes staring blankly at him as her body shook, her breath was heavy and she was struggling with every rise and fall of her chest.

"Donna, thank god," he cried as he ran to her, but as he fell to his knees before her she bristled and wrapped her arms protectively around her body, tucking her head into her lap, hiding her face from him. Her breathing was shallow and rapid. He could tell she was having trouble regulating her breaths and she was starting to panic. And then he noticed her arms - both of them had round, black finger shaped bruises on them. He didn't know what to do or how to help. He gasped as he noticed one of her hands was covered in dry blood and he couldn't stop the tears falling from his eyes. 'My god' he thought, 'what has he done to her?'

Harvey moved to sit next to her, tentatively placing his hand on her arm, not wanting to frighten her. She didn't bristle this time so he moved his hand around and placed it on her back feeling the shallow, shuddering rise and fall of her body with each desperate breath. He was fighting himself because all he wanted to do was envelop her in his arms and make her tell him what had happened, but she was too broken. He knew he needed to take this slowly.

Her breathing was getting worse and he could tell she was getting more distressed by it. "Donna, I think you're having a panic attack," he said, "you need to slow right down. Concentrate on my breaths. Listen to my voice and breathe when I breathe." She turned to look at him and then he noticed the huge bruise on her cheek and another on her jawline. He inhaled sharply, his body was engulfed in red hot fury, but he forced it all out of his mind to focus on helping her with the panic attack. He knew she would trust him due to his own experience of them.

He sat next to her for minutes trying to control her breathing and bring her out of the panic. He took her cold hand and placed it on his chest, telling her to focus on his own rhythmic beat, trying to sync it with her own. Eventually her body relaxed and her breathing returned to normal but they remained seated where they were. He holding her hand, with his arm gently placed around her back and her letting the warmth of his body and the gentleness of his touch bring her out of shock.

Finally she stirred. "Harvey," she said, "I want to go home. Please take me home."

Harvey didn't know what to say. He didn't know if they should be going home. Should he call the police? Did she need to go to a hospital?

He released her hand so that he could get up off the floor and she jumped, and reached out for his touch again. He turned to face her and looked into her eyes. All he saw was fear. "Donna, what did he do?" he asked. "Please, tell me what that bastard did to you?"

She looked at him and reached up to his face, wiping away the wetness which trailed down his cheeks. "I'm okay, Harvey," she said. "I promise, I'm okay."

But she wasn't okay. She couldn't talk properly because of the bruises to her face, her muscles and flesh swollen and distorted underneath the blackness. Bruises which he knew Julien had given her. All he could think about was hurting him. He would hurt him in every way he could. He would beat him over and over again until he felt fifty times more pain than Donna was feeling. 'How could he?' he thought in despair, his mind racing with hatred and loathing, 'how could he hit her, how could he have …?' Then the horror. The horror of that word. The fear that he could have hurt her in an even worse way than the bruises to her body showed came to the surface and he was consumed by revulsion. 'Please, we can get through the bruises, but don't let him have raped her,' he thought.

"Come, let's sit," he said as he helped her up off the floor and onto his sofa. One of her hands was clamped tightly in his, refusing to let him leave her grip, but her other hand – the one covered in dried blood – was clinched to her chest, holding her ripped clothing together. His heart sank into his hips and another tear fell as he realised that she was trying to hide it. He took off his suit jacket and placed it around her shoulders, wrapping it around her front and he steeled himself to ask the question. That dreadful question.

"Donna, I need to know … and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry to ask, but … has he raped you?"

Donna froze as she looked into his eyes and realised how scared he was. She shook her head quickly. "No, no he didn't," she said soothingly, more concerned for him than for herself. "I fought him Harvey. I fought him. I wouldn't let him …" And then she broke down and cried.

"Good girl," he said as he brought her head into his neck, stroking her red hair and gently 'shushing' her sobs with kisses onto the top of her head. "It's okay, you're safe now," he said as he held her tight.

They sat for a few minutes taking in what had happened. Harvey had so many questions but he was more concerned about Donna than his own piece of mind, so he let her cry it out and waited for her to be the one to talk. Of course, he realised that she was the reason Julien had been outside the building covered in blood and he allowed himself to be pleased that it had been her who had hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Harvey," she said finally, "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, shhh," he said softly, "you have nothing to be sorry about."

"This is my fault," she said.

He moved on the sofa so he could look at her. "Donna, this is not your fault. Don't you ever, ever let me hear you say that again."

"You don't understand," she said, "I should have told you. I shouldn't have kept it from you. I've been so scared."

Harvey was confused. "What have you kept from me?" he asked, "just tell me now, it's okay I promise."

"Julien," she said trembling at even the mention of his name. "It was more than just that kiss and I couldn't … I didn't know what to do."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He gave me a key to his apartment and he said he would go back to France and leave you alone if I slept with him. I was so frightened Harvey. He kept pressuring me and he kept saying things to me. Horrible things. I don't let anyone get to me, you know that, but I was so scared."

"You had good reason to be scared, look at what he's done to you! Why didn't you tell me?" he said trying not to show how angry he was. "Donna I could have stopped him. I swear, when I get my hands on that man I'm going to hurt him. He's going to know what it feels like to …"

"Stop, just stop!" she said loudly. "See, this is why I didn't tell you. It was bad enough living with that man … that horrible man doing that to me without having to worry about you. He brought a lawsuit against you for hitting him, what would you have done if you'd known the rest?"

Harvey was hurt and ashamed. Was this his fault? "I'm sorry, I would do anything … anything I can to protect you. I promised you once that you'd never have to feel scared again and look what's happened. I've let you down. I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have made you do the Greystone contracts. I wish I hadn't … I'm so sorry. I wish … I wish I could help you. I don't know what to do."

Now it was her turn to comfort him. "Harvey, I'm fine," she said unconvincingly. "Or rather I'll be fine. You don't need to worry and there was nothing you could have done to him that I didn't do myself. I just want to go home now."

"I don't think you can, Donna," said Harvey in lawyer mode, "this is a serious crime. We need to do things properly here or it could blow up in our faces. You know what Julien's like. When I got back from the Thai place I saw him with the police. They were taking him to the hospital and they knew he'd been stabbed."

"Oh my god," said Donna, as if she'd only just realised that she'd harmed him. "I did stab him, Harvey. It happened so fast and … I didn't think … I just wanted him to get off me and he was going to … I just picked up my letter opener and … will I be in trouble?"

"No, no," said Harvey, "don't worry about that. But we can't just go home and forget about what's happened. He's with the police right now telling them god knows what … although …"

"What?" she said, "what is it?"

Harvey was stunned. He suddenly put together what Julien had said to him outside the building. "Julien said something to me outside when he was with the police," said Harvey.

"What did he say?" asked Donna, her eyes filled with dread.

"He said 'I won't tell if she doesn't'."

Donna looked away, her mind mulling over what Harvey had said to her.

"Donna, we can't trust him," said Harvey, "and you have done nothing wrong here. You had to protect yourself from a man who was assaulting you … who was trying to rape you. Nobody in their right mind would place any blame on you for this. I know this game. This is my area."

Donna nodded. She knew Harvey was right and, as always, she had faith in him. "So, what do we do?"

"I'm going to call the police."

"Harvey, I'm not sure about this. I don't want to … I can't …"

"Donna, you have to and we can't wait any longer. He's in hospital right now, I gave the police Claude's number so he'll be there with him. He could come up with a hundred ways to try to hurt you even more than he's done already. We can't risk it." He saw her face break as she slowly understood what he was saying. "Look, I know you're scared," he said. "But you have to see this through to the end."

Donna nodded. "It's just, I don't want … photographs and examinations and … Harvey I can't bear it. I just want to go home."

"I know, I know," he said, "and I'll take you home as soon as this is done and I'll stay with you all night, all day, all week if I have to. For as long as you need me. But, we have to get through this first. I'll be here every step of the way, I promise. You don't have to do this alone. Now what do you say? Are you with me?"

Donna nodded, hugging the suit jacket close to her body. "Yeah," she said, "let's do it."


	18. Chapter 18 - Healing

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 18 – Healing

As soon as Donna got in the taxi cab she felt her chest constrict again, her body closing in on her, strangling her and her instincts were to scream at the top of her lungs. She felt the world crushing around her and she wanted to run and keep on running. This couldn't be happening to her. She didn't know how she'd made it out of the building. Everything hurt. Her face, her arms, her torso, her legs – everything. She didn't know which pains were real – injuries inflicted by him – and she didn't know which were just part of her body shutting down, giving up and collapsing in on herself. Her mind was exhausted and her body was telling her she'd had enough.

After weeks of fighting she couldn't do it anymore. She didn't want to do it. She didn't care what happened to her or to him. She just wanted it all to be over. So she stopped. Rightly or wrongly she turned to Harvey, whose face was worn down with agony of his own, and she told him 'no'. She just wanted to go home.

"Donna, we have to go to the police, it won't take long. Going home isn't an option."

Donna didn't want to fight. She didn't have the energy. Why wasn't he listening to her? "Harvey, please take me home," she repeated, her eyes pleading with him and her breathing racked with anguish, "please."

"I can't let you go home, Donna, you have to trust me on this. This is my area," he said in full legal-lawyer mode. "You must make a report and you have to do it now. The longer you wait the harder it will be. I will get you through this. I told you I wasn't going to let you do it alone and I told you we're in this together."

"I don't care, Harvey. I really don't care. I swear if you make me set one foot inside a police station I won't speak. I won't talk to them. I don't have to if I don't want to and I don't want to." The taxi pulled up outside the 17th Precinct and Donna started to panic. "Take me home now, Harvey!" she yelled. "Or you'll have to drag me in there kicking and screaming."

She exhaled deeply, concentrating on controlling her breathing the way Harvey had shown her earlier. Then they sat in silence for a moment, the cab driver patiently waited for either payment, or his next order. Finally, Harvey took some dollars out of his pocket and paid him.

Donna was crying. Her arms wrapped around her body pulling the suit jacket Harvey had given her around her shoulders. She hated him for making her do this.

"Donna, we're going in there now. I know that if you don't do this now, you'll regret it later. This way it's over and done with and you can get on with the rest of your life." He reached forward and gently moved her hair, wet through her own tears, from her face. She flinched at his touch. "We're doing this," he said and without further delay he got out of the cab, crossed over to her side and opened the door, helping her out.

Donna stood outside, looking up at the police station. Her instincts were to walk away and just keep on walking, but she knew he wouldn't let her go. Control. She'd lost control earlier with Julien. Now she had lost control over this with Harvey and she had no fight left. How had she got to this point? This happened to other people. It happened to faceless women in newspaper reports. It happened to characters on television and in books. She faltered as Harvey took her hand, unable to move any further. The cold night air biting at her bare legs and her concentration locked onto the fluttering stars and stripes flag hanging over the doorway of the 17th precinct.

A couple of officers exited as she stood outside the doorway, one of them was answering a call on his radio. The other, an older officer with a bushy moustache, noticed them. "Do you need any help, ma'am?" he asked.

Harvey looked at Donna, his eyes saying what his voice had been saying since they left the office. 'We're doing this together'. "Yes, please we need some help. My friend has been assaulted."

X

Making a report hadn't been nearly as bad as Donna had expected. A female police officer, Detective Amanda Perez, had taken Donna's story, which had included every intimate detail of the assault, as well as the weeks of sexual harassment she had endured prior and finally, how she had managed to fight Julien off. She was most worried about revealing she'd stabbed him with the letter opener. She didn't know how the police detective would respond to that, but she had reassured her that it was acceptable self-defence. She was given some fresh clothing – some jogging bottoms and a t-shirt – and she'd been given a quick medical exam, which consisted of noting the bruises to her face and body, as well as taking some DNA samples.

Harvey had made a statement too and police officers were despatched to the office to gather evidence at the scene. Harvey phoned ahead to keep the building's security team informed of the situation.

Before they left, Detective Perez handed them some leaflets, which Donna made a mental note to file straight in the trash, and she told them she'd be in touch after they had tracked down Julien Roche. She had been understanding and considerate throughout the process and Donna thanked her for her help. "Donna will need somebody to stay with her for a few days at least," she said. Harvey nodded. "Not a problem. She's coming home with me."

X

Donna made the taxi journey from the police station to Harvey's apartment in a daze. She couldn't think, she couldn't speak and she didn't know what she was going to do next. Her mind was filled with the evening's events. Images crashing through her head, refusing to leave her, getting worse if she closed her eyes. Over and over again she saw his face, remembered his hands grabbing, touching and hurting her. She couldn't shake off the fear and the pain and the shame of what had happened. She wanted to turn back the clock. She wished she'd finished her work quicker. The guilt was overwhelming. Why had she stayed in the office alone? Why hadn't she done more?

Harvey helped her out of the cab and they entered his building, taking the lift straight to his penthouse apartment on the top floor. Neither of them spoke a word to each other, but he left his hand on her back, gently showing her that he was there without suffocating her with his own hurt.

"Can I have a shower?" she asked before he placed his key in the door. "And something else to wear?" She felt dirty and she could still feel his hands on her every time she touched her own skin. She couldn't think about anything until she'd washed it all away.

"Of course," he said, noticing her rubbing her arms and scratching the back of her neck. "You'll have to wear something of mine, but it's better than …"

"The NYPD's victim clothes," she interrupted.

Harvey nodded sadly and he walked straight to his bedroom, then reappeared again with two black fluffy towels. "I've laid out some sweats and a t-shirt on my bed. You can have a shower and get changed while I make some phone calls."

X

Donna emerged half an hour later feeling slightly better. She twisted her wet hair into a loop and pinned it up with a clip she had in her handbag. Harvey looked at her, noticing the bruises on her neck for the first time, his face saying the words his mouth was unable to utter.

"I'm okay, Harvey," she said as she caught his pained expression. She was growing tired of his sympathy now. Not because she didn't appreciate it, but because she hated feeling like a victim. She hated being pitied.

She sat down on his sofa with her legs outstretched before pulling them up and hugging her knees. Harvey disappeared for a moment and returned with a blanket. "You're not sleeping there tonight mind," he said, "you can have my bed." He then brought her a glass of water, as well as a glass of scotch from the kitchen area and placed them both on the coffee table in front of her. "Take your pick," he said. She went for the scotch.

He sat down in his armchair opposite, watching as she sipped from her glass, resting her head back and allowing the amber liquid to soothe her. "Are you going to stare at me all night," she said, feeling his eyes watching her even though she had her own eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," he said with a deep sigh. "I just wish I could do something."

"You've already done more than enough," she said, opening her eyes and turning her head to look at him. "Thank you for making me go to the police. It was the right thing to do."

"Sorry for forcing you to go," he said. "You know why I had to, right?"

Donna nodded. "Yes, absolutely."

"So, how are you feeling now?"

"I've felt better," she said with a small laugh. "I don't know. I just feel numb. I wish I could get it out of my head. I keep seeing his face and feeling … him …" She started to cry again, but sniffed back the tears and gained control. "I don't want to talk any more but I don't think I'll be able to sleep either."

"Well, you should try," he said getting up from his seat. "You can't sit here all night. It's after 2.00am now. You need to try to get some rest."

He took her hand and led her to his bedroom, gesturing for her to lie down in the bed. She obliged and turned onto her side – the way she usually slept – but she soon jolted when she found she couldn't place her face down on the pillow because of the bruises, so she lay on her back instead. Harvey said good night and he placed a kiss on her forehead. As he pulled away to leave she caught his hand. "Stay with me," she whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

Harvey tucked the duvet over her then went around to the other side of the bed. He hesitated for a moment wondering if it was a good idea to share his bed with her after everything she'd gone through, but he knew she just wanted to feel safe so he got in, lying on his side watching her as the city lights streamed in through his apartment window, casting white light onto her face and catching the gold in her hair.

She reached out and took hold of his hand and they stayed like that until morning.

X

Donna awoke to bright sunlight streaming through the large windows of his apartment. She was disorientated for a moment, wondering where she was and why she was there, before it all surged back into her mind – his face, his touch, the pain, the fear, the blood, the police – and she was sent crashing back to reality. Then she realised Harvey wasn't next to her and she panicked. She sat up and called out his name.

He was there in seconds, immaculately dressed in dark grey suit trousers and a white shirt. "Sorry," he said quickly, realising he'd frightened her. "I was letting you sleep."

Donna was breathing quickly and she felt silly for freaking out. "Are you going to work?" she asked, noticing he was dressed in his suit. She was panicking again. She didn't want him to leave her.

"I've a few things I need to take care of," he said, "but don't worry, I'm not leaving you alone."

She looked at his clock. It was almost 8.00am. Her stomach sank as she realised all of her co-workers would be arriving at the office around now and … soon … there'd be only one thing they'd be talking about. She hated the thought of the sympathetic platitudes that were to come.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked.

"No, I don't think I can," she said as she got out of the bed. "Maybe just a coffee." Her head, neck and face still hurt so much as she went to use the bathroom. Harvey had placed a new toothbrush, still in its packaging on the side of the sink for her. She smiled at how uncharacteristically thoughtful that was of him. She freshened up and then met him in the kitchen area.

"So, what do you have to do?" she asked.

"Work," he said.

Donna wasn't buying it. She could tell from his tone of voice that he was hiding something from her. "Harvey, please tell me the truth," she said.

He looked at her as he sipped from his coffee cup. "There's a few things I need to take care of relating to Julien," he said. "I need to see Jessica and I need to see Claude. I have to find out where he is and what our position is. I won't be long, I promise."

Donna nodded realising that he'd know what needed to be done. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid," she pleaded with him. He looked hurt at this, but she waved his wounded expression away with a flip of her hand and replaced it with a 'you know what I mean' expression of her own. "I can't have anything else on my mind right now, so I need you to promise."

He stared blankly into his cup, his mind whirling with all of the things he wanted to do to the man who'd hurt her. "I promise," he said finally.

Presently, there was a knock on Harvey's door and he went directly to answer it. Donna's stomach lurched with worry as she wondered who it could be. "Thank you for coming," she heard him say.

"I got here as early as I could," said Dr. Agard, Harvey's therapist, "where is she?"

Dr. Paula Agard strolled into Harvey's apartment and Donna found herself instinctively sitting to attention on the breakfast stool, straightening the now wrinkly oversized t-shirt she had slept in.

"Hi, Donna," said Dr. Agard softly, "I'd ask you how you're doing but I can see for myself you've had a pretty bad time of it." She sat on the stool next to Donna, her bright blue eyes full of compassion for a woman she had only met once, but who she must have felt she knew well via her patient. "Harvey has asked me to stay with you this morning. Is that okay with you?"

"No, not really," said Donna, her voice breaking and her eyes glassy again. "I mean, I don't want to be rude and I'm grateful. Thank you for coming over, but I don't want to talk anymore."

"That's fine, we don't have to talk," said Dr. Agard in her lovely British accent, "I think Harvey just wants someone he trusts to be here for you. He's very worried."

Donna looked at Harvey as he stood against his window, sipping coffee. "I don't want to waste your morning," she said, smiling unconvincingly at the therapist. "I really don't want to go through it all again, Dr. Agard."

"Call me Paula," said Dr. Agard gently, "this is going to be a hard thing for you to get over, Donna and nobody expects you to do anything and you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. That isn't why I'm here. I've helped a lot of women in your position over the years. I can help you too, if you'll let me. I promise it will make the pain go away faster, but if you just want to sleep or watch TV or listen to music, then that's fine too."

Donna twitched her nose to stop the tears from falling again. God she was so tired of crying. She nodded at Paula and the doctor smiled back at her. "Are you sure you don't have anything better to do?" she asked.

"This is my job, Donna," said Paula, glancing over at Harvey who was putting on his suit jacket ready to leave. "Besides he pays me a lot of money."

Donna giggled. She can only imagine how much Harvey was paying Paula to practically be at his beck and call 24/7.

"Right, I'm going to get off now if we're all good here," said Harvey. He waited for Donna's approval before he gathered up his keys, straightened his tie and finished the last dregs of his coffee. He rested his hand on Donna's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll stop by your apartment and pack you a bag on my way back. Anything in particular you need?"

"Just clothes, pyjamas, my make-up bag, hairbrush, just have a look around and pick up anything else you think would be useful."

"Okay, see you in a bit," he said as he picked up her keys and popped them in his pocket.

X

Donna moved back to sitting on the sofa, taking her coffee with her. She offered Paula a drink and she opted for a glass of water and took a seat in the armchair. It was similar to how they sat the first and only time they met, around six months ago when Donna had been looking for Harvey right before the vote orchestrated by Jack Soloff and Charles Forstman.

"So, how has Harvey been?" asked Paula finally.

"What do you mean?" said Donna in surprise. She imagined Paula's first question would be about her.

"Sorry," said Paula, "I mean it's good that he's here for you. He really cares for you."

Donna nodded her head. "Yes, he's been great. I certainly wouldn't have gone to the police last night if he hadn't … well … if he hadn't made me go. I didn't want to make a report, but I'm glad I did now."

Paula smiled awkwardly. She could imagine Harvey in full lawyer-mode directing her down the right path without fully appreciating why she was reluctant. "It's good that you managed to make a report, Donna. So many women leave it too late. If this goes to court, then you'll have everything you need."

"Oh, no, we won't be going to court," said Donna dismissively, "he didn't … you know … I fought him off."

Paula crossed her hands into her lap and smiled warmly. "Just because you fought him off before he could rape you, it doesn't mean a very serious crime hasn't been committed and it doesn't mean that you haven't suffered through a horrendous ordeal. This man who did this to you is someone who works with you, isn't he?"

"Yes," said Donna. "He's worked with us for just over a month. He's part owner of the European firm we partnered with."

"And what was your relationship with him before tonight?" asked Paula.

"Terrible," said Donna. She gave Paula a quick rundown of all the things Julien had done to her since he arrived at their firm starting with that horrible night in his office when he blackmailed her into letting him kiss her and ending with him giving her the key to his apartment and harassing her into sleeping with him. She hadn't wanted to talk about it, but Paula was so easy to talk to.

"Donna, this is truly awful," said Paula when she had finished telling her about the sexual harassment. "I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you to go through. You've been very brave."

Donna sniggered softly and rolled her eyes, "I didn't feel very brave at the time. Not once."

"Did you tell anybody about what Julien was doing to you?" she asked.

"Yes, well … I was too ashamed to talk about the kiss because I was so stupid for doing it. I had a new friend who I confided in. He's called Antonio and he reminds me of Mike. He's very sweet," said Donna, catching a warm smile from Paula. Of course she knew all about Mike Ross. "I eventually talked about it with Harvey and then with Jessica, but they did already know a little bit because Julien had been spreading rumours. That was why Harvey lashed out at him and almost ended up in court."

"I see. And what about the key? Did you tell Harvey about him asking you to sleep with him?" she asked.

Donna closed her eyes before looking to her feet. "No," she admitted. "I only told Jessica. I thought she'd be able to help me best and she did. She got Julien's brother to fire him and send him back to Paris. Jessica told me not to tell Harvey. I think she was worried how he'd react."

"How did that make you feel? Did you want to tell Harvey?"

Donna considered her words carefully.

"What is it?" asked Paula.

"Over a year ago, before I left him for Louis, we were in his apartment and … err … should I be talking about this?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Because you're Harvey's therapist?"

"Let me worry about that," said Paula. "At the moment I'm concentrating on helping you."

"Well, I'd gotten myself in a bit of trouble with one of his cases and Harvey had fixed it for me. We had dinner to celebrate and afterwards he promised me he'd never let anything bad happen to me and that I'd never have to feel scared again." Donna's eyes watered as she remembered that night, "so, I wanted to tell him because I knew he'd do everything he could to stop him. But … there'd almost been a lawsuit when he'd hit Julien and I didn't trust him to keep it together. I was protecting him by not telling him. He hates that, you know? He hates it when I keep things from him."

"Oh, yes, I know," said Paula dryly. Harvey Specter had been one of the most difficult and trying patients he'd ever had. He was one-of-a-kind, but she genuinely liked him.

"You know," said Donna, as she thought back to the horror of last night, "the whole time Julien was attacking me I kept thinking about Harvey. I mean, obviously I was thinking of myself first, but I thought he was going to … I knew … at one point I was just waiting for it. I had given up. I knew he was going to hurt me … to rape me. And all I was thinking was how this was going to destroy Harvey. That's what made me pick up that letter opener. I told the police that I didn't know how I did it, it was as if it was all happening to someone else and then suddenly I was stabbing him, but really it was Harvey … thinking about him gave me the strength to do it."

Paula smiled at Donna's revelation. Of course she'd always known that Harvey's feelings for Donna were much deeper than he'd ever admitted to her, or ever admitted to himself, but she hadn't thought as much about how Donna felt about him. "It sounds like you really care for him," she said warmly. She didn't want to use the word 'love'.

"Yes I do," said Donna.


	19. Chapter 19 - Together we Stand

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 19 – Together we Stand

It was after 9.00am when Harvey arrived at the office and he felt apprehensive about what would be waiting for him. He imagined worried faces and lots of questions and he didn't have either the time or the inclination to deal with any of that. All he needed to do was check out a few things, speak to a few people, then get back home to Donna. He'd left her half an hour ago and all he could think about was whether she was coping. He needed to be there for her.

As the elevator pinged to tell him he'd reached the 50th floor, Harvey steeled himself and crossed over the threshold into the once safe surroundings which were now tainted. He caught the eye of the receptionist who looked at him as if he were the last person in the world she expected to see.

He turned left and walked to his office, passing a few nameless associates on his way. They all looked uncomfortable as they met his glance. When he passed Donna's office he stopped and looked inside. He saw the patches of red on the carpet. They looked more prominent as the sunlight streamed in from the large windows. 'His blood' he thought as he imagined for a moment how petrified Donna must have been to stab him, his heart sinking into his stomach as he forced the images of her screaming as he hit her out of his mind. He'd get the carpet cleaned today. She couldn't come back to work and see it like that. He looked around the room and straightened a few things for her, re-hanging her picture and putting everything back the way it was. The police had obviously left the room in a better state than it was in last night, but it still wasn't quite right.

When he finished he walked next door to his office, went straight to his desk and then looked up in surprise to see Louis Litt was waiting for him. Louis looked broken. His face was red and blotchy as if he'd been crying for hours, and his eyes were vacant. He was just sitting on Harvey's sofa staring at him.

'Shit' thought Harvey. 'Here we go'. He didn't relish having to give Louis a shoulder to cry on, but out of everyone at the firm, he knew Louis would be the most affected by what had happened to Donna, so he got up from his desk and went to sit next to him. As soon as he did, Louis's face crumpled and tears started to fall from his already swollen eyes.

Harvey grimaced and placed his hand on Louis's shoulder. It was so awkward for him, but he indulged Louis with a gentle 'there, there' brotherly pat. "Donna's going to be fine," he said sympathetically, "you don't have to worry, Louis."

"What happened Harvey?" sobbed Louis, crying uncontrollably. "Just tell me … and don't hold anything back … I need to know."

Harvey sighed and sat forward, bowing his head. How on earth was he going to handle this? "How much do you know?" he asked.

"Jessica called me first thing this morning," he cried. "She said the police had been here and that Donna had been hurt, but she was okay." Louis's squishy face was a blubbering mess as he allowed the tears to flow. Harvey had never seen him in such a state. "That's all they would tell her ... We assumed you were with her. Harvey, just tell me … I've seen Donna's office. I've seen her blood on the floor. Just tell me …"

"That isn't her blood, Louis," said Harvey plainly.

Louis's face snapped to attention as he processed Harvey's revelation. He'd been horrified when he'd seen the blood and he'd thought the worst. "Then, who's … blood?" he asked as his mind ticked away with more questions. "Harvey, please, just tell me. What happened to Donna? Where is she?"

"Louis, she's fine. She's in my apartment and I've a friend watching over her. Last night I … well we were working late and I went to go get us some food. I shouldn't have left her, but I didn't know …"

"Know what, Harvey?" said Louis, his eyes pleading with him to continue.

"I didn't know that Julien Roche was … had been harassing her."

"What? What do you mean 'harassing' …?" said Louis. Harvey looked at him, his brows knitted together in anguish as the penny dropped. "Oh my god," he said, "you mean … 'sexually' … harassing her? We thought it must have been an intruder. Maybe an ex-client with a grudge or an ex-boyfriend, but never this. Wait? … You mean this is all down to Julien Roche?"

Harvey nodded. "Louis, if I'd known I would never have left her alone, but Donna didn't tell me."

"It's not your fault, Harvey," said Louis. Harvey was surprised. How far they'd come since Mike's arrest and the trial. Louis always used to blame him for everything. "So, the blood was …?"

"Julien's," said Harvey plainly.

"Did you …?" asked Louis in confusion.

"No, it was Donna," said Harvey, unable to hide the fact that he was more than a little bit proud of her for fighting him off. He glanced at Louis and he could see the man – his friend – was horrified, so he just said what he had to. "She had no choice, Louis. He was going to rape her."

Louis gasped in revulsion, "what?" he cried, his face crumpled again. He was utterly devastated. "No, Harvey, please no, please tell me …"

"It's okay Louis, she stopped him," said Harvey. "He didn't … she fought him off."

Louis couldn't speak. His body was racked with sobs and Harvey sensed he'd have to do a lot more to comfort him again. He sat closer to Louis and placed his hand on his back. "Hey, come on Louis, it's okay. She's fine. I told you he didn't do it. She stopped him. He didn't rape her. She's fine."

"How can she be fine Harvey, how? My god when I think of that man, that goddamn evil son-of-a-bitch. Why? How could he do that to her? Anybody but her … not Donna … Jesus, I'm going to kill him, Harvey. I'm going to kill him with my own bare hands."

"I know how you're feeling," said Harvey, "but we have to be strong here and we have to be smart. The last thing Donna needs is the worry that her friends are going to do something stupid. She needs both of us to get her through this."

Louis sniffed, nodded and tried to pull himself together. "Yes, you're right," he said. "Can I see her? I want to see her."

"I'm not sure she's ready yet, Louis," said Harvey. He wouldn't dare send an emotional Louis over to see her at the moment. He didn't know if she'd be able to cope with that.

"But you said she was okay," said Louis suspiciously, "you said she was fine."

Harvey sighed. "She's obviously not completely okay, Louis," he said carefully thinking of the right words. "He has hurt her. She has bruises and …"

"Oh my god!" shrieked Louis. "Why did you say she was fine, then? How are you being so goddamn calm? Why aren't you out there ripping his goddamn head from his goddamn …"

Harvey shot to his feet. There was only so much that he could take. "I've been with her every second since it happened, Louis," he interrupted. "You want the truth? She has a broken cheekbone, she has bruises on her arms, around her neck, on her jaw, but that's not the half of it. He pulled her hair, he ripped her clothes. He hurt her. He really hurt her and she was terrified and I don't know … I don't know how long it's going to take for her to get over this. I don't know if she'll ever get over it. But what I do know is that we need to be strong for her."

Louis's face crumpled again and if he hadn't already been sitting down, Harvey thought he might have collapsed.

"Louis, I'm sorry, but … I should have told you how serious this was from the start. I know how much you care about Donna. I'll tell her you want to see her and I'm sure she'll want to see you more than anybody else, but we need to give her time. She's hurt and she's frightened."

"Of course, Harvey, I understand," sniffed Louis.

"When we're here in the office its business as usual. We need clear heads. We can't fall to pieces. That's not going to help Donna."

Louis nodded, stood up and straightened his suit jacket. "Just tell me what you need me to do."

"I need to know where he is," said Harvey. "I know he was with the police last night and I know they called an ambulance for him. He has a wound to his hand and another to his shoulder. I gave the police his brother's details. Have you seen Claude this morning?"

Louis shook his head.

"Has the European team heard anything?"

"I'll go and find out," said Louis eagerly, "leave it to me."

X

Louis had been away less than five minutes when Jessica appeared in Harvey's doorway. She looked calm and serious, but Harvey noticed the concern in her eyes.

"Harvey, I've just seen Louis," she said, "what the hell happened and when were you planning on telling me?"

Harvey looked at her and reclined into his chair, "I was going to come and see you," he said truthfully, "but as you can imagine, I've had Louis in here bawling his eyes out so I've been a bit preoccupied."

"Louis said that it was Julien who attacked Donna. Was it?" she asked.

Harvey nodded.

"Goddamn it," she said as she sat down in the chair opposite him. "I'm so sorry Harvey."

"Louis said you spoke with the police this morning?"

"Yes, they said they were investigating a crime, but they couldn't give me any details. They've been here and gathered evidence."

"I noticed," said Harvey. "We need that carpet cleaned today."

Jessica nodded. "Already booked it in," she said.

Harvey sighed wearily. He didn't know where to start. "I didn't know, Jessica," he said finally. "I mean I knew about the kiss, but I didn't know the rest. Shit, Jessica, I wish she'd told me. Why didn't she trust me enough to tell me?"

Jessica froze as she realised what was tearing Harvey up inside. She couldn't keep this from him. "I'm sorry Harvey but I knew. Donna told me."

"What?" said Harvey in disbelief, "you knew about the key he gave her? You knew what he was doing to her and … what? You didn't think to tell me."

Jessica steeled herself for the onslaught. "Yes, I knew all of it," she answered with a trace of regret in her voice, "Donna came to see me a couple of days ago and told me. She asked me to help her."

Harvey rose to his feet so abruptly that he sent his chair flying backwards into the wall. "You goddamn what?" he roared. "She told you that piece-of-shit was harassing her, creeping around corners, blackmailing her into sleeping with him and you did nothing. She was scared, Jessica. She was frightened out of her mind and you did nothing!"

"No, Harvey, it wasn't like that," said Jessica calmly. She could see he was furious and that he was hurting, but she needed to keep her composure.

"What the fucking hell was it like then?" he yelled.

"She asked me to help her and I did. I spoke to Claude yesterday morning, he spoke to Donna too and then we fired him."

"That was why you fired him?"

"Yes, and I made it clear to Claude that Julien was out of my firm that day. I care about Donna too, Harvey. I did everything I could."

Harvey paced the room, trying desperately to make sense of what Jessica was telling him. "If I'd known all this I would have stopped him, don't you see? If you'd told me none of this would have happened!"

Jessica rose to her feet and narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't you dare place blame for this at my door. Donna asked me to help her and I did. I told her not to tell you. If you'd have known then we would be going through different shit, maybe even worse shit, right now."

"You told her not to tell me?" said Harvey in outrage. "You told her to keep this from me? My god Jessica, don't you realise what you've done? Donna is the most important person in my life, you know that more than anyone, and how the hell could things be any worse than this?"

"Because you'd have went to town on him the second you found out, and you know it," said Jessica. "And if that had happened I'd be spending this morning trying to get your ass out of jail."

"Don't you see?" he said angrily, "I'd have taken a bullet for Donna, but you took away any chance I had to save her. I wouldn't have left her alone if I'd known what he'd already done. Jesus Christ, I'd happily spend my whole goddamn life in jail for killing that bastard if it meant I could erase the bruises from her body and take away the pain of what he did to her last night." Harvey noticed Jessica's face change. She hadn't known things were that bad. "That's right, Jessica. God knows how she managed to fight him off, but if she hadn't, he would have raped her."

"I'm sorry Harvey," said Jessica sadly, "I'm truly sorry, but I did what I thought was best at the time."

Harvey shook his head in astonishment. "Bullshit! You did what you thought was best for you. But this wasn't about you. It was about Donna's life. You thought about the affect my beating the crap out of Julien Roche would have on your firm, and you chose your firm over her."

Jessica said nothing, her face racked with guilt. Harvey had hit a nerve and she didn't like it. "Harvey, you can blame me all you like. Maybe I made the wrong decision, I don't know, but when it comes down to it this is Julien Roche's fault and nobody else's. If I'd known this was going to happen to Donna, then I would have beaten the crap out of him my goddamn self. But I didn't know."

Harvey waved away her protests. He was tired of listening to her defend herself. "I'm going to need time to work this out, Jessica. I'm really goddamn pissed at you right now," he said.

"I understand," said Jessica regretfully. "But let me help. We need to pull together and sort this mess out. Julien Roche has hurt one of our own and we need to make him pay for that."

Harvey agreed to move on. "Have you heard from Claude?" he asked, straightening his tie subconsciously. It was time to get back to business.

"No. Not this morning, why?"

"I gave the police his details last night."

"The police?"

"Yes, I'd gone to get some food because we had to work late. That's when it happened. Julien had been waiting for me to leave her alone. When I got back he was outside – I don't know why – and the police were with him. I gave them Claude's number. I didn't know what he'd done at that point."

"I see," said Jessica, "so you think he's spoken to the police already?"

"I don't know, but I'm worried about what he might have said. They were waiting for an ambulance for him. Donna stabbed him with a letter opener straight through his right hand, then again in his left shoulder. It looked pretty bad."

"Shit," said Jessica, "has she made a report?"

"Yes, last night. I went with her. The police didn't seem concerned about any comeback over the stabbing given what he'd done to her."

"Good. It should be clear cut case of self-defence, but the only problem with this is there aren't any witnesses and Julien is a devious bastard."

"I know and that's why I've come in this morning. Louis is trying to track him down."

"I'll try to find Claude, then," said Jessica, "but I'm not worried about him. He knows what his brother is."

X

Suddenly, they both turned around to see a worried Antonio Conti in the doorway, "I'm sorry Harvey, Jessica. I couldn't stop her. She demanded to see you."

They both stood together in shared repulsion as the familiar face of Anita Gibbs appeared in the doorway behind Antonio.

"What a lovely welcome," smiled Anita, "it's been too long, Mr Specter, Ms Pearson. I've missed you both, has it really been what? Three, or four months is it now?"

"Thank you, that'll be all, Antonio," said Jessica, before she turned to stare down the assistant District Attorney – her eyes narrowed in unbridled loathing

"What the hell do you want?" barked Harvey.

"As pleasant as ever, Mr Specter," said Anita sarcastically, "I'm just trying to track down Miss Paulsen. She's not at her apartment. She's not out there at her desk. So where is she? Are you hiding her away?"

"What?" said Harvey in disbelief. What game was this woman playing now? "What the hell do you want Donna for?"

"To serve her with this," she said holding up a piece of paper, "but as I assume you're her lawyer, then I can give it to you. This is a subpoena for Miss. Paulsen. She is being arraigned on Friday morning for second degree assault."

"You goddamn bitch," spat Jessica. "A member of my team has lost two years of his life because of you, and now you're going after somebody else?"

"Because of me? Mike Ross committed fraud and he got off lightly. Oh, and dare I remind you that the pair of you were complicit in his fraud and you got off completely," said Anita with a raised eyebrow. She still hated the fact that Jessica and Harvey had come out of the whole Mike Ross fraud debacle with no punishment. "As for Miss. Paulsen, there's a man lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and receiving a blood transfusion because she stabbed him last night. And she stabbed him not once, but twice. I shouldn't have to tell either of you that assault with intent to cause harm is a Class C felony."

"And what the hell do you call attempted rape?" barked Harvey. He could feel the blood charging through his body as his anger built up.

"Attempted rape?" said Anita with a forced laugh.

"Yes, attempted rape," shouted Harvey in frustration, "I shouldn't have to tell you that attempted rape is a Class A felony."

Anita stared back coldly at him and Harvey realised this was news she was only just hearing.

"Oh my god, you have absolutely no idea what happened last night, do you?" he said in astonishment. "Don't tell me, you got so excited when you saw Donna's name linked to this that you issued this piece of garbage before you did any research. You haven't even checked out his story, have you?" He ripped the subpoena to pieces in front of her and he threw it into the trash.

Anita smiled coldly at him. "If that's going to be Miss Paulsen's defence, Mr Specter, then I'll look forward to hearing all about it the arraignment on Friday."

"You're damn right you'll hear about it," yelled Harvey. "In the meantime, if you pursue this then I'm going to have you up on charges for professional misconduct. This is a goddamn witch-hunt, its an abuse of power and you goddamn know it. You've got until tomorrow morning to put a stop to this. I care about Donna. You hurt her after everything she's been through and so help me god I won't stop until I've pounded your miserable ass into the ground."

"Harvey," said Jessica softly, warning him to be careful, but standing next to him to stare down Anita so she'd have no doubt that they were united on this.

Anita looked rattled, but she refused to back down. "Just make sure Miss Paulsen makes it to her arraignment," she said as she left the office markedly less pleased with herself than when she'd arrived.


	20. Chapter 20 - Back to the Start

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 20 – Back to the Start

Despite protestations that she didn't want to talk any more, Donna had spent all morning with Dr. Agard talking about her ordeal. She liked Paula a lot and could see how the therapist had been able to work her magic with Harvey, who must have been one of the most difficult and most complex patients of her career.

On a personal level, Paula was warm, friendly and composed – all qualities which naturally endeared her to people, and led them to open up to her. Donna liked that and she instantly trusted Paula, revealing more to her than she would even to Rachel, her closest friend. On a professional level, Paula was very astute. Nothing got past her, whether it be Donna's subconscious body language or something unintentionally revealed by her in speech. Donna felt more self-conscious with her expressions as she was talking to Paula, but it didn't matter. The therapist asked all the right questions and Donna knew, the morning after the worst night of her life, that there could have been nobody better for her to be with.

They had talked for hours about Julien Roche and the assault. Donna had been uncomfortable at first, but she soon spilled every single intimate detail about what Julien had done to her – and more importantly how he had made her feel while he was doing it. The kiss had started everything and Donna still hated herself for being so weak that she allowed it to happen. She confessed that she blamed herself for everything that came after because she had submitted to that, but Paula managed to make her see that her love and loss of Mike was still so raw that she had transferred those feelings onto Antonio. She couldn't save Mike, but she could save the young Italian. Would she have allowed Julien to kiss her if it meant Mike went free from jail? Damn right she would, so she had to let go of the guilt and she had to stop beating herself up over it – it wasn't her fault – it was Julien's.

Everything that happened next had scared her so much because she had lost control and Donna was always in control. Even with Stephen Huntley, she had been in control of her own life and her own actions the whole time. She had never been afraid of Stephen who had sanctioned murders, but she had been terrified of Julien. The loss of control was what made her feel like she was living somebody else's life as the events unfolded, each incident more sickening than the last.

Donna had cried as she talked about the night he had given her the key to his apartment. She couldn't believe she'd gotten herself into that situation. She was Donna after all. And then she talked about last night. Very carefully at first because the agony was still so raw. She rubbed her broken cheekbone instinctively as she talked about how he had hurt her and how she had almost given up to the inevitable – the pain that would have come if he had invaded her body in the way every woman feared. Paula had listened intently as she mentioned every single detail of the assault. How Julien had spoken to her, hit her, held her, ripped her clothing, assaulted her – she revealed everything he had done to her and at one point she had even brought the therapist close to tears.

"So, tell me about you and Harvey," asked Paula all of a sudden, catching Donna off-guard.

"What do you mean?" asked Donna, her mouth twisting into a smile as she thought of him and how much she loved him.

"How did you meet?"

Donna laughed as she remembered how she'd set her sights on him right from the beginning, but that it was so different at the start. "We met in a bar. We'd both been working at the DA's office for a while, but he hadn't noticed me. I'd noticed him though. That was almost 13 years ago now and … well … let's just say he hadn't made a name for himself back then, but he was probably even more arrogant."

Paula laughed. "More arrogant?" she said.

"Oh yeah, he was totally full of himself," she said rolling her eyes in good humour. "Anyway back then I had my mind set on being an actress …"

Paula raised her eyebrows and grinned. She hadn't known this.

"… you look surprised?" said Donna, noticing her reaction.

"I'm just intrigued to know why you gave that up to be a secretary. I can imagine you being a great actress."

"Correction, I was an awesome actress," said Donna confidently, "but, I'm an awesome secretary too." Donna smiled, but then her mind was filled with sadness as she realised that, yes, over the course of several years she had given up her dream.

"What is it?" asked Paula noticing Donna's expression change.

Donna grinned at Paula's astuteness, "I've finally met my match," she said knowingly, "I'm not going to get anything past you, am I?"

Paula smiled warmly at her. "No," she said with a wink.

Donna inhaled deeply then began her story. "So I was going to be an actress and I tracked down Harvey to ask if I could move to his desk. He was so ambitious. Unbelievably ambitious, and so smart too. I thought he would understand that the DA's office wasn't where I wanted to end my days and that my acting was important to me, so I told him I'd be the best legal secretary in the city for him if he'd let me go for the odd audition when I needed to." Donna smiled as she recalled how different their relationship was in the beginning. "So that's how we met, but as for my acting … I don't know … it was a mixture of things really. I started to worry that I wasn't as good as I had always believed. I always knew it was going to be hard, but the auditions started to be harder to get, and eventually I gave up."

"You said a mixture of things made you give up?" asked Paula quizzically. "Was there another reason?"

"I started to love my job, I guess," said Donna as she folded her arms around herself protectively. Paula's face changed instantly. 'Shit – body language', said Donna and she unfolded her arms and sat to attention.

Paula leaned forward invitingly and smiled. "You're too late," she quipped, "I saw it."

"Damn it," said Donna with a chuckle. She looked at Paula who was sitting patiently for her to continue. Her blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I loved working with Harvey," she said at last.

"What made you two hit it off so well do you think? I mean your friendship must have been pretty special for you to work with him every day for thirteen years. He's not the easiest person to get along with."

"I can handle him," said Donna proudly. "I handled him right from the beginning." Then she hesitated. Should she?

"What do you want to say, Donna," asked Paula. "What happened at the beginning?"

'Shit' thought Donna again, 'it's like talking to me.' She looked at the therapist and decided the big reveal would probably help her work through things in the long run, but was it down to her to tell? 'Ah, she probably already knows,' she realised, so she took a deep breath and she went for it.

"Harvey was very flirty when I first started to work with him. Oh my god, the lines he used to come out with – you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Anyway, after a few months he left the DA's office. He'd had a disagreement with his boss and he didn't know at the time, but I'd resigned because of him too. Cameron Dennis … ugh! … I never liked that man," she said remembering how she'd convinced Harvey not to follow in Dennis's shady footsteps. "He moved to Jessica's firm, which was always his long term plan ever since he went to Harvard. He used to work there in the mailroom, you know? Anyway, Gordon Schmidt and Van Dyke it was called then … sorry … I'm babbling … so, there was a few days when we didn't work together and he showed up at my apartment, full of bravado and we … erm … we slept together."

Paula's eyes almost jumped out of her head. "I see," she said in surprise.

"You didn't … erm … know already?" asked Donna nervously.

"No, Donna, I didn't … well … that definitely puts things in perspective."

"Puts what in perspective?"

"Sorry, I don't think I can answer that," said Paula with a smile.

"You just did," said Donna, her eyes flashing with humour as she remembered a very similar conversation she and Paula had had a few months back.

"So, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to of course, but was it only the one time?" asked Paula awkwardly.

"Yes," said Donna. "A few days later he asked me to go work with him at the firm and that was that."

"I see," said Paula, "and how did you feel about that? Did you want to continue things with Harvey?"

"I knew he wasn't ready and I know that if I'd tried to have a relationship with him I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you now. Mind, under the circumstances, I'd rather I wasn't sitting here talking to you, but you know what I mean," said Donna reflectively as she looked around Harvey's apartment, wishing she was in her office – no strike that – back at her cubicle. "One of my conditions of coming to work with him was that we put what happened out of our minds and we never talk about it again."

Paula looked sad at that revelation. She could sense Donna had some regret too. "It sounds to me like you may have been waiting a long time to see a change in Harvey."

"I get why you're asking me that," said Donna insightfully. She had asked the same question of herself over the years. Was she pathetic for still waiting and hoping after all of those years? "I'm not saying that somewhere in my subconscious I wasn't waiting for him, but we both carried on with our own lives … or we tried to … but mostly, I just enjoyed working with him. We are so close and he needs me … and I … well I need him too."

"But, you gave all that up last year."

"Ah, that," said Donna. She wondered when her leaving Harvey for Louis would come up in their conversation. "Yes, well that was a blip. I just think I'd had enough."

"Enough of what?"

"Of putting his needs first," said Donna. "After all of those years … I just got tired of it. Louis needed me and he was so kind and he really appreciated me, whereas Harvey …"

"You don't think Harvey appreciated you?" asked Paula in surprise.

Donna exhaled deeply, trying to get her explanation straight in her mind. "I know he appreciated me, but I grew tired of his inability … no his refusal … to tell me how he felt." She frowned as she thought back to that fateful night. The first time in twelve years she'd put her own needs before his. The night he had his first panic attack. The night which heralded his first trip to Dr. Agard's office.

"I can't comment on my sessions with Harvey, but let's just say I can imagine what you mean," said Paula sympathetically. Of course she knew. "You didn't move very far away from Harvey, though. You still saw him every day. Was this really the break that you needed or do you think you could have been punishing him?"

Donna looked shocked at Paula's question. 'Was I punishing him?' she considered for a moment. She looked away as she thought deeper about it. Should she cover her ass, or just tell her the truth? "The day before I decided to leave him for Louis, Harvey and I had dinner at my apartment. I'd gotten myself into trouble … stupid really, but I do really dumb shit from time to time … and Harvey had fought as he always does and he fixed everything for me. We were celebrating and after dinner we were talking and something happened. He told me that he didn't care about anybody else's opinion of him and that I was the only person who mattered, but the way he looked at me … I knew he wanted to say something more than that. But then he panicked and he ran away. I asked him to stay, but he didn't. He told me staying would be a mistake, but before he left he said that I knew that he loved me."

"Wow, he said that?" asked Paula. Donna couldn't believe she didn't know this either. What on earth had they talked about during all of those sessions?

"Yes, he did say that, but the next day he avoided me, and tried to backtrack and he refused to comment on what he'd said and why he said it. Oh, wait, he did say … he told me he'd said that he loved me because he wanted to make me feel better." She was laughing now because she knew why Harvey had been so afraid to follow his heart that day, but at the time those words had cut deep. "So I suppose you're right. In a way I was punishing him. He wasn't being fair to me and I'd had enough. I needed to stop waiting … I mean … I needed to stop … sorry. Yes. I needed to stop waiting for him to be ready."

Paula's face dimpled as she smiled sadly at Donna, but she knew all of the things that she'd said he'd said and done were more than typical of pre-therapy Harvey. "And do you think he's changed since you left him, Donna?" she asked.

"Yes," said Donna with a smile, "or I wouldn't have come back. Yes, I think he has changed and like I said a few months ago, I know I have you to thank for that."

Paula held her hands up in the air, "hey, I didn't ask you that question for compliments," she said honestly.

"I know, but it's the truth," said Donna. "In fact, after the trial and trying to re-build the firm we're now better than ever. A few weeks ago we had breakfast together after pulling an all-nighter at the office and he finally opened up. He told me he had been terrified of his feelings because he didn't want to ruin what we had. He said he loved me again, but because every relationship he'd ever had had been a disaster he didn't have any reason to think he wouldn't screw up with me too. He said he knew he would lose me if he tried to have anything more and losing me was his nightmare. I would have understood all of that if he'd just said straight away, you know. I just wish …" Donna's voice cracked and she looked away as it hit her, tears filling her eyes. The sorrow was overwhelming.

"What?" asked Paula, "what do you wish?"

"… well, I wish … last night hadn't happened because we were finally getting somewhere. He had asked to take me on a date," she said as tears streamed down her face, "a 'proper' date he'd said and that's where we should have been last night, but something came up so we worked late. Instead of being out enjoying that time … the time I've waited thirteen years for … oh my god … thirteen years. Then, finally … finally he thinks he's ready and that bastard takes it all away from me." She curled up on the sofa and pulled the blanket Harvey had given her over herself, burying her face in it as she let go, her body heaving with sobs.

Paula moved over to her and held her while she cried. And she held as she stared at the different coloured threads woven into the blanket. And she held her while she relaxed and finally drifted into sleep.

X

It was 3.45pm when Harvey finally arrived back at his apartment – much later than he'd planned. Paula rose to her feet as she went to greet him. She had been reading an i-book from her phone for the past couple of hours while Donna slept on the sofa.

"Shh," she said softly as she tiptoed towards Harvey. "She's sleeping."

Harvey looked over at Donna as he put down the overnight bag of things he promised he'd get for her from her apartment. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"She's better," said Paula truthfully.

"Has she talked to you?" asked Harvey.

"Yes, she managed to talk for hours before it all got a bit too much," said Paula sympathetically. "She's been very brave, Harvey. I can't emphasise enough how horrendously difficult sexual assaults are for women to get over, but I'm sure she'll be fine. She's a tough cookie."

Harvey smiled, "I know," he said fondly. But there was something else. He looked distracted.

"What is it, Harvey?" asked Paula.

Harvey shook his head and took a bottle of scotch from his kitchen cupboard, pouring himself a large glass and taking a giant swig. "Worst case scenario just happened," he said, his eyes alight with anger.

"Oh no," said Paula nervously, "what is it now?"

"They're charging her with second degree assault."

"You're kidding?"

"I wish I goddamn were," said Harvey. "How the hell am I going to tell her this?"

"Do you think there's …"

"Not a chance!" interrupted Harvey knowing what she was going to ask. "They have no case and I am going to goddamn go to town on the DA for allowing this charade to happen. The prosecutor is a fucking bitch and she hates me. That's the only reason they're going ahead with this bullshit charge and it's all down to me again. What am I going to do? She's being arraigned on Friday."

"Then you have two days to do what you do and fix it, Harvey," said Paula, showing that she too had faith in him to get the job done. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No, you've done enough. Thank you, I didn't know what else I could do … to … you know … help. I knew you'd be great …"

"Harvey, I'll help in any way I can and I'll come here every day if you need me to, but the best person to help Donna right now is you."

He froze at her words. His eyes conveying that he didn't believe he could be any use in a situation like this. "You think so?" he asked in disbelief, "I'm shitting myself that I'm going to say the wrong thing."

"You might say the wrong thing, but it doesn't matter. You're here for her and you're who she wants."

'You're who she wants,' thought Harvey. 'What on earth have they been talking about?'

Paula gathered up her things quietly so she didn't wake Donna. "Give me a ring whenever you need me, Harvey. I mean it. I'm here for you both."

Harvey nodded, thanked her again and then saw her to the door.

X

It was after 6.00pm by the time Donna finally woke from her sleep. She startled for a moment wondering where she was again, before rubbing her eyes and stretching out her knotted joints. Harvey's leather 'man-sofa' wasn't the most comfortable bed substitute in the world.

"Hey," said Harvey as he appeared from the kitchen, "how are you feeling?"

"Like shit," she said truthfully, "how long have I slept?"

"A few hours. I've sent Dr. Agard home. I hear you two hit it off."

"Well we were hardly out partying, Harvey," smirked Donna. She knew what he meant. "But, yes, she's been a great help this morning. Thank you for that."

"No worries," he said with a nod. Sending for Dr. Agard was one of his better ideas. "I brought you your things," he said gesturing to the packed bag on the floor, "I expect you're desperate to get out of my old clothes."

"Yeah, you could say that," she said as she rose to her feet and fetched the bag. "I'm going to have a shower and sort myself out. What are you doing?"

"Oh, just making us something to eat."

"Ahhh," uttered Donna twisting her mouth into a grimace.

"Donna, you have to eat," said Harvey, "please just try. I'm making some vegetable soup with noodles and I've some fresh bread. It's just something light."

"Okay, I'll try," she said appreciating the trouble he'd gone to. "As long as it's accompanied by alcohol!"

Harvey was just about to say, 'do you think you should be drinking,' when he realised a couple of glasses of wine might numb the pain of what he had to tell her later.

X

After Donna had showered, washed and dried her hair and put on clean, but comfortable clothes, they sat down to eat and she surprised herself by finishing her soup and eating half the bread. She'd practically finished off a bottle of white wine all by herself and was onto a bottle of red when Harvey finally plucked up the courage to tell her about the assault charge.

"Harvey, please tell me this isn't happening?" she said in shock as he moved to sit next to her, holding her hands in his.

"It's all down to goddamn Anita Gibbs," he spat with venom, "Donna, I swear this is a bullshit charge. We're all onto it – me, Jessica, Louis – all of us. You have nothing to worry about. Nothing. I'm not worried …"

"You look worried," she interrupted, grabbing her hands from his grip, "you look as scared as hell!"

"I'm not scared about the charge, I'm only worried about you and how you're going to take this," he said insistently. "She hadn't even done her homework, Donna. She was that hell-bent on hurting us she didn't have a clue you'd already made an attempted rape report. She's like a dog with a goddamn bone."

"Pretty good that you made me go to the police then, huh?"

"Damn right it was," he said as he looked into her eyes, searching for understanding. "Look, you don't have to worry Donna. I'm going to fix this."

Donna wiped a stray tear from her broken cheekbone and winced at the touch of her own hand, reminding them both of what she'd endured. "I know you'll fix it Harvey. I never doubt you."

They both froze for a moment, their eyes locked together in … in what? In trust? In friendship? In sorrow? In love? Donna searched his face as he looked at her, trying to work it out. She needed him so much. She needed to feel his touch. She didn't want to leave him. Not ever. So she leaned forward and kissed him. 'Was it a kiss?' Well maybe it wasn't. She placed her lips on his before breaking free, her forehead resting on his and their mouths breathing frustrated gasps onto each other's faces. She moved her hands to his neck, then his head, running her fingers through his hair and she waited …

"… Donna," he said in a whisper as he put his hands on her hands, slowly pushing down and removing them from his head. He held onto her hands, trying to let her know that he wasn't letting her go. He wasn't letting her down.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently, "why … not?"

"… Donna … you know why."

His words hit her like a truck. This was how it had happened last time, except they were in his apartment not hers and they were worrying about the future, not celebrating a win from their past. She stared at him, unable to fathom what on earth was going through his head. "Because it would be a mistake?" she yelled, tears welling up in her eyes, "that's what you're going to say to me again, isn't it?"

"No," said Harvey quickly, trying his best to stop things escalating, "this just isn't the right time, Donna, that's all. Not after everything that's happened."

"There's no right time, Harvey!" she yelled. "There never has been a right time! Why can't you do this for me? I need you to give this back to me! I want my night back. He took all of this from me. He took away our night. Why won't you help me go back? I want to feel like I did yesterday … before he did this."

Harvey was startled. He didn't know what to do or what to say to make things better, but he knew he couldn't do what she was asking of him. She'd regret it. "Donna, let us get through this first …"

She shot to her feet, "there's always something!" she shouted, "you always have an excuse. You told me you loved me!"

"I do love you!"

"Then why won't you make love to me?"

"Because this isn't right, Donna!" he shouted back, "for fuck's sake, I'm not having sex with you the night after you were almost raped! What kind of opportunistic bastard would that make me?"

She stood before him crying, hurt, humiliated, rejected and embarrassed. "I just wanted you to make it go away, Harvey," she cried with so much sorrow that Harvey had to steel himself to stop his own tears breaking free.

"I will make it go away," he said, "I promise I will, but not like this. You can't want it to be like this."

Donna wiped the wetness from her face again and nodded, "I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I thought … I just … I just wanted to feel … good. I hate being a victim."

"Hey, you're no victim, you're the bravest, smartest, most beautiful woman I know," he said. "I promise, once you're feeling better and all of this is over we're going to go out on that date and we're going to have a great time. We've got it all to come. We're in this together, me and you. I'm not going to leave you. Not ever."

"Will you sleep next to me again?" she asked cautiously, hoping with everything she had that he wouldn't say no to that.

"Yes, of course I will," he said, "and I'll stay next to you every night for as long as you want me to."


	21. Chapter 21 - Arraignment

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 21 - Arraignment

Harvey had breakfast with Donna on Thursday morning and after a good night's sleep, she assured him she was feeling a lot better. In fact, she was talking as if she were ready for a fight, which Harvey had found encouraging. Dr. Agard had been such a help yesterday and although it was still too soon, he could see glimmers of Donna getting her fire back. Harvey had planned to ask Dr. Agard to sit with her again, but Donna had assured him there was no need. She felt safe in his apartment. Harvey had asked her not to open the door to anybody – just in case – and had given similar instructions to his building's security. Under no circumstances was anybody to go up to his condo. She was happy with his orders and his assurances. She wasn't ready to go back home yet because if Julien were released from hospital he'd be able to find her there, but she felt safe in Harvey's space.

The report from the 17th Precinct had landed on his desk first thing that morning, but bureaucracy being what it was, he knew that the DA's office wouldn't have had a chance to review the attempted rape case yet. It hadn't even been 48 hours since Donna has made her report after all. This was standard, so he couldn't understand how in the hell Julien's version of events had reached Anita Gibbs so quickly?

Unless? He made a quick call to an old friend at the DA's office and he got his answer. Julien Roche had contacted Anita Gibbs from his hospital bed within hours of the assault and she had formulated her case against Donna by the next morning.

He visited the police station mid-morning, speaking with Detective Perez, who couldn't understand why they were prosecuting Donna given her own report and recommendations which she had put forward to the District Attorney. Even if Anita Gibbs hadn't had their report yesterday, she had it first thing in the morning – the same time as Harvey – and if she had been worth her salt as a prosecutor, she would have dropped the charges against Donna immediately. Detective Perez said she was available to assist Harvey with anything he needed in the future, and he left happy that he had her on his side.

He stopped by his condo at noon, bringing Donna some lunch. She had been reading and watching TV, but she was itching to get out. She'd been cooped up for two days after all.

"Have you been to see Anita Gibbs yet?" asked Donna eagerly, hoping that she'd dropped the charges.

"Not yet," said Harvey, "I saw Detective Perez this morning and she's on our side and will testify for us if she ever needs to. In fact, she said she'd sent recommendations to the DA for prosecuting Julien, but it had only arrived at the DA's office for processing this morning. She sent me a copy too."

"So this is happening because Julien made his report first?" asked Donna trying to understand her situation.

Harvey nodded. "Apparently he called Gibbs from his hospital bed and by-passed the police altogether. She was with him Wednesday night. Probably the same time we were at the police station."

"Holy shit, you're kidding me," exclaimed Donna. "And he went to her, because …"

"She hates us," said Harvey, finishing Donna's sentence for her. "Donna, I want you to believe me when I say this to you. I am not worried about this. It has pissed me off, but I'm not worried. In fact, the reason I haven't been to Gibbs yet is because a big part of me wants to show up with you in that courtroom tomorrow and publicly humiliate the shit out of her. But … it's up to you how you want to play this."

"You mean, you want me to go to court?"

"You've done nothing wrong Donna. I want to see the look on Gibbs' face when she sees you and realises she's been played for a fool."

Donna was shocked. "You mean when she sees me looking like this," she said gesturing to the bruises on her face.

Harvey felt sick. Jesus Christ, what was he thinking? "Donna, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's just what popped into my head. You can call it a revenge fantasy if you like."

"What would I have to do tomorrow?" she asked. She wouldn't mind revenge herself.

"It would be just like it was with Liberty Rail. All you have to do is show up, plead not guilty and say 'yes, your honour.' I know it's scary, but it's just an arraignment."

"And you don't think you can get Gibbs to back down?"

"Learning about the police report and the commissioner's recommendation to prosecute Julien hasn't made her back down, so I don't see her listening to me," he said honestly. "I could appeal to her good side, but she doesn't have one so we're probably better blowing her out of the water tomorrow morning instead. The woman's a goddamn bitch."

"Okay then," said Donna with one hand on her hip, tapping her foot as she formulated a plan. "Forget about talking to her. You're right. I'll go down there tomorrow and we'll … we'll get her."

"And then I'm going to have her on a misconduct charge."

"Good," said Donna exhaling in relief. She flopped down onto Harvey's sofa and grinned.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," she said, "… I mean … well I just felt like we were back in business there for a moment."

"We are back in business," said Harvey as he sat next to her and took hold of both her hands, turning her to face him. "So how about this. How about I forget about the office for the rest of the day and we take a trip down Fifth Avenue with my corporate card instead. You can go to town on that thing, whatever you want you can have."

Donna gulped and tentatively touched her face. "I think I'd feel a bit self-conscious for Fifth Avenue," she said.

Harvey realised what she meant. "Okay then, something else, we'll do anything you want."

"Anything in the dark?" she asked with a laugh.

Harvey smiled. "We could go to the movies?" he suggested. "You can choose. I'll even see one of those weird artsy films that you like."

"Hmm, that sounds good," she said. "That almost sounds like a proper date."

Harvey pursed his lips together as he nodded knowingly. "It's definitely a proper date."

X

Ray was there to drive them to the courthouse on Friday morning. Donna was wearing a simple grey dress which was tailored flawlessly to fit her statuesque frame. Harvey had chosen the dress from her closet because of its lack of colour and it's straightforward 'business' cut. He'd also told her not to try to conceal the bruises on her face with make-up or hide her arms with a jacket. He wanted the judge – and the prosecution – to see.

They arrived at the courthouse just before 9.00am. Donna was worried that Julien might be there, but Harvey had already called ahead and discovered he was still in hospital. In fact, he was having another surgery on his hand. Donna told him she felt worried about that and she hoped the injury to his hand wasn't too bad. Harvey told her not to be silly. If he'd gotten his hands on him he wouldn't be alive, never mind in hospital.

Harvey helped Donna out of the car and her legs felt like jello as she walked up the familiar steps to the courthouse. She had last been there the day Mike had took Gibbs' deal and signed two years of his life away. When they entered the building, Jessica was there waiting for them, which surprised Donna as she hadn't expected an audience.

"Donna, I'm so sorry," said Jessica immediately, "how are you?"

"I've been better," said Donna, trying to hold herself together.

"I'm so sorry for everything and I can assure you we're going to do everything to make Julien Roche pay for what he's done. We're family and nobody does this to one of our own and gets away with it."

"Thanks Jessica," smiled Donna, "To be honest, I just want to get this over with and get back to work."

Jessica looked up at Harvey in surprise. "You can come back whenever you like, Donna, but do you think you're ready? You can have all the time you need."

"I know and thank you, but I'm going mad cooped up indoors," said Donna. "I want to be Donna again."

Jessica nodded in agreement. It wasn't her place to offer her opinion on this. It was Donna's choice. "Louis wanted to be here too," she said, "but at the last minute he decided he couldn't … erm … he's taking things pretty hard, so it wouldn't have been a good idea. He wanted me to tell you how sorry he was for not coming."

Donna stopped in her tracks. "Oh no, poor Louis," she said, "I'll have to see him."

"Louis will be fine, Donna," said Harvey, "stop worrying about other people and Jesus, stop worrying about work. We've got this."

They entered the courtroom and took their seats on the left hand side of the room. Jessica sat behind them in the seats reserved for members of the public. They were first to arrive – no sign of Gibbs yet.

Donna sat for a few minutes, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. Harvey was reading through the arraignment papers – for the tenth time – when he noticed Donna's legs were shaking. He leaned over and placed his hand on one of her knees. "Hey, it's going to be ok," he whispered, his face brimming with certainty, but she still couldn't stop her legs from shaking.

When Harvey heard the sound of shuffling, quiet talking and the clip-clop of high heels entering the room, he closed his eyes for a moment and willed his body not to rise to its feet and start hurling insults at the prosecution. When he opened his eyes he saw Anita Gibbs to his right, flanked by none other than Daniel Hardman. He glanced over at Donna, then around at Jessica, both of them sitting with raised eyebrows in surprise. "Hardman must be representing Julien," he whispered to Donna.

Harvey watched Gibbs and Hardman's eyes observing Donna as they waited for Judge Allan Cooper to make his entrance. Finally he saw Donna turn around and fix her gaze defiantly on Anita Gibbs. The older woman was standing to Harvey's right side with her hands folded in front of her. She was wearing an off-the-peg grey business suit teamed with a cornflower blue blouse which gathered at the neck with a tie. When Gibbs caught Donna's eye, she removed her glasses and – there it was – the realisation as she took in her injuries. Hardman's face changed too, his brow was twisted and crumpled into a frown. He went from evil gloating Hardman to evil anxious Hardman in the space of 30 seconds.

"You're really going to do this?" he asked Anita Gibbs as he took to his feet in confrontation. "The police report recommending prosecution for attempted rape landed on your desk yesterday morning. Look at her! What do you see? Perpetrator or victim?"

Anita Gibbs looked rattled.

"Here's your chance to do the right thing for once in your goddamn life."

"All rise!" came the call from the court attendant stopping Harvey's conversation in its tracks. He turned from Anita Gibbs in disgust and took his place next to Donna.

Judge Allan Cooper was a tall, slender man in his late fifties. Harvey had encountered him a number of times in the past and he liked him. He was fair and thoughtful. As the judge took his seat, he lowered his glasses and looked at Donna curiously before reading through the arraignment notes in front of him. A few moments later, he turned to Anita Gibbs, "this assault happened two and a half days ago?" he asked.

"It did your honour," said Gibbs.

Judge Cooper looked back at Donna and raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Miss Paulsen, do you understand the charges that have been brought against you this morning?"

"Yes, your honour," said Donna.

"And do you understand that a charge of second degree assault with a deadly weapon carries a minimum sentence of three and a half years."

"Yes, your honour," repeated Donna.

"How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honour."

"And is the prosecution ready to go to trial?" he asked Anita Gibbs.

Gibbs hesitated. "We are your honour," she said, amazing everyone in the room.

"What? This is goddamn bullshit!" yelled Harvey, "have you lost your mind?"

"Mr. Specter, I'll not have that language in my courtroom," said Judge Cooper sternly. "Please approach the bench, you too Ms. Gibbs."

Harvey and Anita Gibbs gathered in front of the platform where Judge Cooper was seated. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"In a nutshell, your honour … my client, the defendant, is the victim of an attempted rape. The police have issued a report recommending the DA's office prosecute, and make no mistake about this, your honour, you would be here presiding over an actual rape case if my client hadn't managed to fight off her assailant." He handed the Judge a copy of Detective Perez's report.

"Are you in possession of this police report, Ms. Gibbs?" asked Judge Cooper while he scan-read the the document.

"I am your honour."

Judge Cooper raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Then why aren't you following the recommendations of the law enforcement officers? Is there a conflicting police report?"

"No, your honour," said Gibbs, "Mr. Roche contacted me in person."

Judge Cooper removed his glasses and sat back in his chair in astonishment. "Are you a police detective, Ms. Gibbs?" he asked.

"No, your honour, I'm a lawyer and I believed Mr. Roche's story that the defendant assaulted him in her office because he was going to tell her 'lover' about their affair." She looked at Harvey as she emphasised the world 'lover'.

Harvey raised his eyebrow mockingly and laughed. "Your honour, I have umpteen witnesses who will testify that Mr Roche has been sexually harassing my client for weeks, including the man's own brother. We can all see that she has been assaulted, which is backed up by the police report. Ms. Gibbs has no case here and we will be suing her for professional misconduct once this is over."

"Your honour, I am following my own gut instincts here. There's a man lying in a hospital bed with very serious injuries due to …"

"Bullshit! You're coming after me again!" sniped Harvey, "Your honour, this woman is using this case to fight her own agenda. She thinks I should have gone down over a fraud case involving a member of my firm."

"The Mike Ross case?" asked Judge Cooper. Everyone in the city had heard the story about Pearson Specter Litt – one of New York's top law firms – operating with a fake lawyer on staff for almost five years.

Harvey nodded. "This is nothing but a witch-hunt!"

"Your honour, I'm going by the letter of the law and Miss Paulsen is guilt of assaulting …"

"Okay, okay I've heard enough," said Judge Cooper holding up his hands. "Ms. Gibbs I'm throwing out this case. In light of this police report – the only police report we have – I can't see that you have any authority whatsoever to override this with your gut instinct and prosecute the defendant. You haven't followed proper procedure and you've wasted my time this morning. I suggest you review the evidence again and make an apology to the court, because I simply can't think of any good reason why you have done this."

Anita Gibbs face fell to the floor, "yes, your honour," she said sheepishly.

Harvey turned around and practically bounced back to his chair, grinning from ear to ear. "The case has been dismissed," he whispered to Donna who beamed back at him. Jessica came around the bar to congratulate them.

Anita Gibbs packed up her papers and placed them in her briefcase. She looked ashamed and she looked embarrassed. Harvey thought about going over to gloat, but he couldn't be bothered. He'd won. That was enough.

"Mr. Specter, Miss Paulsen," said Anita Gibbs, walking over to them.

'What now?' thought Harvey as he turned around to face her.

"I apologise to you both for this misunderstanding. I want to assure you that I will be reviewing the police report as the Judge directed and I think it's very likely that the DA's office will be changing direction and that Mr. Roche will be prosecuted," she turned to look at Donna as a flash of sympathy crossed her face, "we won't be pursuing you, Miss Paulsen."

"Well, we're not going to thank you for doing your goddamn job properly," said Harvey pointedly. "This shouldn't have happened in the first place. Maybe it's time you let this go."

"I'm not interested in having your thanks, Mr Specter," said Anita Gibbs, "and whatever you think, I don't have a vendetta against you or your firm … sorry what's left of your firm." She said, narrowing her eyes and pulling herself back into uber-bitch mode. "I'll see you around."

Harvey, Donna and Jessica watched her go. All three relieved that the case had been dismissed.

As they made their way down the steps of the courthouse Daniel Hardman was waiting for them. Harvey rolled his eyes, "what the hell is it now," he said to his long-time adversary, but Hardman looked different. He wasn't his usual preening, gloating, agitating self.

"I just wanted to let you all know that I'm dropping Julien Roche as a client and I'm handing over TribeTEC in full to you."

Harvey instantly smelled a rat. This was Hardman. "Oh yeah, what's the catch?" he asked.

"No catch," said Hardman ardently. "I don't want to be associated with that man and I don't want to go down this road anymore, so I'm letting you all know this is the last you'll be hearing from me."

"Well, until the next time," said Harvey. He knew Hardman couldn't help himself.

"Maybe, Harvey, maybe," he said as he got into a cab and left the scene leaving them all stunned.

Harvey hadn't been concerned about the outcome of Donna's arraignment, but he didn't expect things to go this well. He and Jessica felt like celebrating, but Donna had other plans.

"I need to go and see Louis," she said.


	22. Chapter 22 - Those Three Words

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 22 – Those Three Words

It had only been three days since the assault, but Donna decided she was ready to enter the office. She would have taken longer if it weren't for Louis. Jessica and Harvey had both told her he had taken the news of what had happened badly, but they didn't need to tell her. She could have predicted his reaction as she knew how much he cared for her. She couldn't let him go home at the end of a harrowing week, without seeing him and putting his mind at rest that she was fine.

But then Donna thought she would be fine. Harvey was with her and Jessica was there too, both of them chatting about business as they approached the large glass doors to their towering building. They hadn't realised at first, they were five steps ahead and immersed in conversation about a new client Antonio Conti had just brought in. In fact, they almost turned the corner to the bank of elevators without her. She was metres behind them and she couldn't move. She felt like the ceiling was closing in on her and the glass walls were melting as if they were made from candlewax.

Jessica noticed first. Her large brown eyes filled with concern as she realised she and Harvey should have been paying closer attention. "Donna, are you …?"

She didn't have the chance to answer before Harvey appeared, his arms ready to hold her up as her body, consumed by panic, stumbled against the marble walls. "Donna, this is ridiculous. Come on, I'm taking you home," he said as he guided her arm back to the doors.

It was ridiculous. She was ridiculous. She hated feeling the way she was feeling. It was just a building and she was safe. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her breathing the way Harvey had shown her the night of the attack. She pulled her arm free from him. "No, I'm going to see Louis," she said defiantly.

"Well, let us get back home and Jessica can send him over to us. You're not ready to go up there yet."

She felt Harvey gently take hold of her arm and she twisted away from him again. "No," she said firmly. "I want to do this."

"Donna, it's only been three days …"

"Harvey, I think Donna can do this if we help her and we take it slowly," said Jessica interrupting Harvey's pleas. Harvey shot her a glare, but she was a woman, she understood and she held her ground. Jessica knew she would hate to feel the way Donna was feeling right now.

"Just … give me a minute," said Donna between strained breaths. "I need to do this, Harvey."

Harvey wasn't so sure, but he knew he wasn't going to win the battle, so he waited patiently for a moment and then he took her hand, clasping it tightly and leading her towards the elevators. Jessica smiled as she saw how supportive Harvey was being. She knew how much he cared for Donna and she appreciated how hard this was for him too.

X

Donna concentrated on controlling her breathing during the ride up to the 50th floor. Harvey held her hand the whole way up and Jessica stood next to her, shoulder to shoulder. As the elevator approached its stop, Donna's breathing was much more regular, although she could still feel a tightness in her chest. When the elevator's doors opened they walked out into the reception area. Jessica said she had some business to take care of, while Harvey, still holding Donna's hand, led her to make the right hand turn to Louis's corner office.

Louis was on the phone when they appeared in the doorway. He looked up and his face instantly crumpled as he saw Donna standing in front of him. He quickly made his apologies to his client and Harvey said a quick goodbye, telling Donna to buzz him when she was ready to leave.

It took Louis a few moments to gather himself together before he rose from his desk and enveloped Donna into a gigantic, almost suffocating, hug. She winced as he crushed her still tender forearms and he shot backwards in horror. "Donna, I'm sorry, what …?"

"It's okay Louis," she said, "it's just … my arms …" She stopped talking as she saw his face change. Tears spilled from his eyes as he noticed the series of dark purple bruises on her forearms, then fixed his attention on her face and the now yellowing bruises on her cheek and jaw. "Hey, Louis," she said as she put her arms around his shoulder, cradling his head into the crook of her neck, "ssshh Louis, come one, I'm fine."

"But you're not fine," he sobbed as he buried his head into her thick red hair, "how could anybody hurt you like this?"

"I wish I had the answer to that, Louis, but I don't. I just want to concentrate on getting things back to how they were."

"I'm sorry," sniffed Louis as he tried in vain to pull himself together, "I just can't stop thinking about what I'd like to do to that … that … goddamn it, there isn't even a name strong enough for that son-of-a-bitch. Donna if he were here right now I would kill him, I would. It's all of our faults. We should have all noticed what was happening. I wish I … why didn't I know?"

"Nobody knew this was going to happen, Louis," said Donna as she carefully removed Louis's head from her now very damp shoulder. "I know you would have done something to help if you could."

"Donna, you don't understand. I would have done anything for you, I really would. Is there anything I can do now because I want to … oh wait, here …"

Louis practically charged to his desk where he took out a small box with a bow on the top. "I got this for you yesterday. I know there's nothing at all that will make up for what's happened, but I wanted to get you something to show you how sorry I was and … well … to show you … how much I care about you." His face crinkled again as he handed Donna his gift.

"Thank you Louis," she said graciously as she took a seat on his sofa, he sitting down next to her. "You really shouldn't have. I mean, I'm grateful, but you didn't need to buy me anything."

"I wanted to," was all he said. His voice was as crumpled as his poor face.

Donna removed the ribbon from the box and opened it. Inside was a bracelet which she could tell was encrusted with the most perfect diamonds and emeralds. It must have cost a small fortune. "Louis … wow … I don't know what to say. This is too much, really."

Louis smiled through his tears and held his hands up in gentle protest. "Nothing would have been too much for you, Donna. You deserve so much more than this. I just wanted to try … and I know I can't … but I hoped it would make you feel a little bit better."

Donna popped the bracelet down beside her and kissed Louis on the cheek before gently wiping the wetness from the creases on his face. "Thank you Louis," she said, "thank you for everything. You're a good friend."

"Is there anything else I can do?" he asked eagerly. "What happened this morning?"

"Oh, everything's good," she said. "Harvey did what he always does and the judge threw the case out."

"He did? Donna that's fabulous!"

"I know, I'm so relieved. And I'm hoping to come back to work on Monday."

"On Monday?" said Louis in surprise. "Donna, surely that's too soon. Why don't you take another week? I could get some time off too. I could look after you. Why don't you stay at my house … and …"

"Louis, I appreciate that I really do, but getting back to work will do me more good than sitting around feeling sorry for myself."

"You should feel sorry for yourself. Look at what's happened to you. You should at least wait until everything has healed."

"I'm fine Louis, really I am," she said again.

"Well, do you want to stay with me anyway?" Louis asked again. "I mean you shouldn't be on your own and I have plenty of room at my place. I don't want to think about you at you apartment alone."

"Actually, I've been staying at Harvey's condo," she said.

"Oh, I see," said Louis despondently.

Donna could tell he was disappointed. "It just happened this way Louis," said Donna, trying to make him feel better. "Harvey was there … just after … and …"

"It's okay, you don't have to explain this to me, Donna," he said. He looked at her and he smiled widely, "you should be with Harvey. I know that he loves you."

Donna was just about to protest when she saw Louis's expression. He wasn't angry, he wasn't jealous, he wasn't being vindictive or sneaky or creepy … or displaying any of the weird unrestrained emotions that were his trademark. Instead he just smiled tenderly and nodded in approval. As she looked into his eyes she could see that he was telling her he understood and he accepted it. "Thank you, Louis," she said again. "You'll always be my dearest friend. No matter what."

Louis smiled and hugged her again. Tears of relief streaming down his face as he could see his friend – the best friend he'd ever had – was going to be okay.

X

After Donna was finished with Louis, Harvey collected her and told her Jessica needed to see them before they left for the weekend. Harvey had already planned to leave work early to look after Donna until Monday morning, and he hoped to take her somewhere where she could get some fresh air and maybe even enjoy herself.

As they approached Jessica's office she could see Claude Roche was in there with Francoise and, being "Donna", she knew there was a problem. She could sense it in the heavy, brooding atmosphere which emanated from inside the room.

Donna sighed as Harvey opened the door, which he noticed and he gave her a reassuring smile, but he too was wondering why they'd been called in. They both sat down on Jessica's sofa facing Claude and Francoise. Jessica stood with her hand on her hips. "I'm afraid we have some news," she said.

"What is it?" said Donna, her face and voice suddenly panic stricken.

Claude Roche hung his head, not wanting to make eye contact with Donna. She didn't know why.

"Just spit it out, Jessica," said Harvey coolly.

Claude looked up and met Harvey's glare, his face lined with tension, "I have seen my brother," he said plainly, "he is not good at the moment."

"I don't give a shit!" yelled Harvey.

"I mean … forgive me … I am trying to say the right thing," stumbled Claude. "He has caught an infection from … erm … the wounds that …"

"The wounds I gave him," interrupted Donna.

Finally Claude looked her in the eye. "Indeed," he said.

Francoise Roche reached over and held her lover's hand willing him to continue.

"I know my brother is a very troubled man, Mademoiselle Paulsen," said Claude, "and I only wish I could have done something to stop all of this from happening, but …"

"Well you goddamn should have done something!" yelled Harvey. "You sent that piece of shit over to us knowing he had a problem and we all know there's something seriously … I mean fucking seriously … screwed up with that man. What the hell did you think you were doing? You needed to get him out of Paris, so you sent him over here? Look how that's worked out for us! Donna has paid the price for that decision and as far as I'm concerned some of that is on you!"

"What would you have done in my place Mr. Specter?" said Claude regretfully. "Yes, I know my brother is a troubled man but he begged me for one last chance. He had lost everything back in France. Yes, it is true, he has hurt many people along the way, but he lost Francoise and then we fell in love, so when he begged me I could not say no to him and I sent him here. I should have said no, Mr Specter, I will always regret not making him seek the help he needed. I will have to live with what he tried to do to Mademoiselle Paulsen for the rest of my life. I know that sorry is not enough. I know I should have done things differently."

"You aren't to blame for this," said Donna to Claude. "You know, I'm really tired of hearing people say what they should have done. Harvey feels guilty because he left me alone. Jessica feels guilty because she told me not to tell Harvey. Louis … Jesus Christ even Louis feels guilty and this has nothing to do with him. I've spent weeks wishing I'd done things differently myself and it has to stop now because none of this is anybody's fault but his. Your brother did all of this by himself and don't think for one second that I don't hate him, because I do. He did this to me. It wasn't anybody's job or responsibility to predict or stop him – not yours, not Harvey's, not Jessica's and not mine."

Claude nodded at Donna's words, thankful that she was trying to dismiss the overwhelming guilt he was feeling. "You know I have already fired Julien from our firm. He still owns the small percentage which our father left to him in his will. I cannot take that from him even if I wished to, but he is not part of Roche & Roche anymore."

They all nodded.

"Unfortunately he has to stay in America now. I cannot bring him home to France like I planned because of … well he is still in hospital, but after … whatever happens, he must stay here."

"What do you mean, 'whatever happens'?" asked Harvey.

"I am asking if you want him to stay here and face up to what he has done or if you want me to send him home where you will be free of him forever?" asked Julien.

"What the hell are you talking about?" snapped Harvey, "of course he's staying here. He's going to jail for as many years as we can goddamn get him!"

Claude held his hand up apologetically, "I understand, I understand," he said. "Forgive me, but I haven't been clear. My brother is in a serious condition in hospital. He has caught an infection and this morning they had no choice but to amputate his hand."

Donna felt her world crash in around her ears as she heard Claude's news. She gasped out loud and Harvey immediately turned to her, noticing the fear in her face. "He's lost his hand?" she stammered, "I've made him lose his hand?"

"Donna, listen to me," said Harvey sternly, "this is not your fault. Don't think for one second that this is your fault. This is all his fault."

Donna's whole body started to shake as panic engulfed her yet again. "I did this, Harvey!" she spluttered. "But I didn't think …"

"Please, you mustn't blame yourself," said Francoise Roche, who had been sitting patiently listening to the group, supporting Claude, her lover. "I know this man. I know what he is capable of. It is the least he deserves."

"Francoise, please," said Claude.

"Oh come on, Claude" said Francoise before mumbling to herself: "Mon Dieu! C'est incroyable! Apres tout!"

"How has this happened?" asked Harvey finally. He couldn't bear to sit through g a domestic. In French.

"We believe the hospital may have been negligent, but he caught septicaemia from the wound and he has been in intensive care since yesterday. They think they have stopped the spread of the infection since amputating."

"Oh my god," said Donna as tears streamed down her face. "Could he … what will happen to me if he dies?"

"If he dies, he dies and I'll gladly give the bastard a eulogy on behalf of my firm which includes kicking his ass while it rots in its grave," said Harvey not entirely understanding how Julien's death would be the worst thing in the world for Donna.

"Mr Spector, I know he has done a terrible thing, but please, this is my brother."

"Oh wake up and smell the goddamn coffee, your brother is an evil bastard and he deserves everything he gets," snarled Harvey. He noticed Jessica's terrified expression, but he waved it off. "I don't give a shit that he's lost his hand and I wouldn't give a shit if he died. He was going to rape Donna. Do you understand that? She hadn't done anything to deserve that. Look at her! Look at what he did to her! Your brother did that to the woman I love and you better wish with every bone in your goddamn body that I don't ever get in a position where I can lay my hands on him because if I do, I promise you I will kill him."

The room fell silent.

Donna felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, but … wow. Harvey had just referred to her as the 'woman he loved'. Claude had gotten the picture after his outburst and so had Jessica.

"Monsieur Spector, Mademoiselle Paulsen, Jessica. I think it is time we left. Francoise has to return to Paris, but I will be staying here until my brother gets better. I don't know after that. I don't know how I feel about our investment after everything that has happened here. I need time."

"I understand," said Jessica. "I am sorry that we can't offer the support you need at this time."

"Don't worry about that, please. I do understand. I know my brother has done a terrible thing. This I have said already … but we still have the same father. We still have the same blood running through our veins. It is hard for me to turn my back."

Jessica nodded as Claude turned to leave. Francoise made a move to join him, but before she did she turned to Donna. "I am sorry," she said. "If only I had found my own voice many years ago now, then you would have been spared from all this."

Donna realised what Francoise was telling her. Francois had her own horror story.

"Au revoir," said Francoise. She joined Claude at the door and they both left the office.

X

"I'm sorry Jessica," said Harvey when the three of them were alone. "I … just …"

"Don't worry about it," said Jessica. "I feel exactly the same way as you do about this situation. We need to give Claude some time. He's worried and he feels responsible, but he isn't stupid. I'm not worrying about our investment yet, but I'm going to speak to the European team right now. If the worst comes to the worst I want to know which of them is going to be with us if the deal sinks."

Harvey watches as Jessica leaves the office, then he turns to Donna. "Hey, don't worry. This changes nothing."

"I know Harvey and believe me nobody hates Julien Roche more than I do, but I still … don't want him … to die." Her voice broke into fragile fragments as she spoke. The tragic mixture of fear and dread breaking her stoicism yet again. "I just don't want to become someone who's killed someone."

"You won't be. You heard Claude. They've stopped the infection, so you don't have to worry about that," said Harvey as he took her trembling hands in his. "I promised you before that I'd always keep you safe and I let you down. I don't know how to live with that yet, but it will never happen again. I'm not going to let anything … anything happen to you ever again."

"Why?" she asked hopefully. Glutton for punishment, maybe, but she wanted to see if he meant what he said or if he was going to backtrack again.

"You know why."

"Why?" she asked again, her eyes gently pleading.

The corners of Harvey's mouth twisted upwards. "Because I love you," he said.


	23. Chapter 23 - Turnabout

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 23 – Turnabout

Harvey met Donna outside her apartment at 8.00am on Monday morning. He didn't feel she was ready to return to work, but he admired how determined she was and how, no matter how much he had protested, she had stubbornly dug her heels in. It had been almost a week since the assault and Donna had finally returned to her apartment on Saturday. Again, he wanted her to stay at his place a bit longer, but she was eager to get back to normality.

"You look beautiful," he said as she came down the steps from her building. She was wearing a black, long sleeved dress which hid the bruises on her arms and went some way to hiding those on her neck.

Donna quickly did a double take as Harvey beamed at her, tucking a tendril of copper hair bashfully behind her ear. "Thank you. It took me a while to hide the bruises, can you see?" she asked as she pointed her cheek at him.

"Barely," he said. "You're almost there."

Donna grinned but Harvey spotted a trace of sadness flash across her face. "Almost there on the outside," she said.

"Donna, we don't need to do this. You can have all the time you need. Go see your family for a bit or visit with some friends …"

"Harvey, I'm fine. I know I can do any of those things, thank you, but you know I need to get back to work."

Harvey nodded. He more than knew. "Let's do it then."

X

When they arrived at the office, Harvey took Donna's hand as they walked down the familiar corridor together.

"You okay?" he whispered as a few staff members noticed them and stared awkwardly.

Donna forced a smile. "Yep," she said. She never shied away from attention, but this kind of attention was strange and uncomfortable for her.

They stopped outside her office for a moment before going inside together. The carpet still smelled fresh after the deep clean it had received last week and there was a large vase of pink, peach and white roses on her desk. She took the card and read it aloud, 'from the European team,' she said with a smile. She walked around her desk and sat down, immediately firing up her console.

"Off you go then, shoo," Donna said to Harvey with a smile and a flick of her hand.

"Great," he said. "I'll catch up with you in a bit. I have a stack of filing I need you to do."

"Ooh, I can't wait," she said sarcastically.

Harvey grinned widely and gave her a wink before leaving for his own office and the pile of work he needed to catch up on.

X

Later in the afternoon, Harvey was working on a new account he'd recently won. Harrison Playback was a media company specialising in file sharing and online streaming of user-created video and music. Their firm was going through a merger with the technology company which had designed their original software and cell phone apps. It was a bit tedious, but it was easy work. Harvey rattled through the initial paperwork, before compiling a list of research he needed Donna to do for him.

Presently there was a soft knock on his office door. "Hi there."

Harvey looked up to see Stella Bart in the doorway. "Hi," he said. She looked worried about something and his stomach flipped as he wondered why she had come to see him.

Stella swished into the office in a stiff teal blue tea dress, her bright red lips held in a grim line.

"What is it?" he asked hesitantly.

Stella stood in front of him fiddling with her own fingers. "Julien Roche has been released from hospital," she said. "We've just heard the news. He's back at his apartment with his brother."

Harvey tossed his pen down on his desk. Of course, he knew this would happen eventually but he was surprised he had recovered from the septicaemia and the amputation so quickly. He picked up his phone and called through to the DA's office while Stella sat down in the seat in front of his desk.

When he finished his call he practically slammed the receiver through the phone as well as the desk before shooting to his feet, turning to his window and leaning forward on the window sill. His mind was racing with thoughts of all the ways he'd love to get revenge on Julien. But first and foremost he knew he needed to protect Donna.

"What did they say?" asked Stella as she moved to join him next to the window.

"They arrested him first thing this morning upon his release. The police were notified by the hospital immediately. Then Claude … goddamn it Claude …" he shook his head in disbelief at what he had been told before straightening up and continuing. "Claude put up his bail before the ink on the arrest sheet was dry. Can you believe that? What the hell is he thinking?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I need to get down there and pull some strings. I need a restraining order to say he can't come within a mile of Donna and I need to … shit … Stella all I can think about is beating the shit out of him, then sticking a goddamn knife into his skull!"

Stella gulped at Harvey's unconcealed aggression.

"How the fucking hell am I going to tell her he's out," he shouted before lowering his voice to a whisper, "she's just turned herself around. It was a huge step for her to come back to work and sit in that office … where … where he hurt her. How am I going to tell her?"

"Don't tell her, maybe?" suggested Stella.

"Out of the question. I can't keep this from her."

"Well we'll all need to make sure she isn't left alone. Here or at home."

"That's going to drive her crazy," said Harvey, his eyes wide as he imagined Donna's reaction to being babysat.

"It's what we're going to have to do, Harvey, because you know as well as I do he will be waiting and he will be looking for his next opportunity. Whether it takes him hours, days or weeks, if she's left alone, he'll get to her and a restraining order isn't going to stop him."

Harvey banged both of his fists down onto his desk. He felt his world spiralling out of control, just as it had done during Mike's trial. Except this was much worse. He needed to do something … anything … but he didn't know what to do and that feeling of helplessness was slowly strangling him.

"Where does your team stand?" asked Harvey. It was the second time he'd asked Stella this.

"Jessica spoke to me about this last week, Harvey," she said. "I told her our loyalties had to be with Claude, but …"

"Seriously?" snapped Harvey, "After everything that's happened?"

"Harvey you know that if it weren't for Tom then I would jump ship in an instant, but I …"

"If Tom did something illegal then he should face up to the goddamn consequences. This is Donna's life!"

"Do you not think I know that?" yelled Stella

"No, I don't think you do. If you did then things would be a whole lot different than they are right the hell now. Even Hardman has switched sides. For fuck's sake, if goddamn Hardman can do what's right by Donna, then why the hell can't you?"

"It's not that simple, Harvey," shouted Stella. Her eyes were glassy and Harvey knew there was something she wasn't telling him. He'd never seen Stella Bart rattled like this before.

Harvey turned back to the window again and looked out over the city view. He breathed deeply, allowing the blood to stop charging angrily around his body before he turned back to Stella.

"I'm sorry Harvey," she said.

"What did Tom do?" asked Harvey plainly.

"There was a case back in Paris," she said without hesitation. Harvey needed the truth. "A drug dealer had beat this kid up. The kid was dealing, we all knew that, but he was also trying to support his entire family. Anyway, it transpired that they had illegally entered France from North Africa so the government issued a warrant for their arrest. They would have sent them all back, but Tomas … well he couldn't live with that so he got them passports and a new start in Marseille."

"Passports? He got them all fake passports?" said Harvey, his eyes narrowing at disbelief. "Why?"

Stella shrugged. "He felt sorry for the kid. The mother was on her own and there was five or six other children. Anyway, Jesus I've been through all this more times than I can count. Suffice it to say Julien found out and he has evidence that would put Tom away for a long time. His life would be ruined and he'd be disbarred and …" Stella folded her arms across her chest and looked ashamed. "I knew about it too Harvey. I didn't know until after he'd done it, but I still knew. That makes me an accessory."

Harvey turned back to the window. "I've always said when your back's up against the wall you knock the goddamn thing down, but I guess I can't expect you to put yourself in danger."

"You know I'd put myself in danger in a flash if that's all that was at stake, but this isn't about me, it's about someone I love. Tomas is different, Harvey. He has a bleeding heart and he isn't made the same way we are. He can't deal with the consequences of what he's done. I'll help you in every way I can. I'll stay with Donna, I'll rally support with the other members of the team, but just don't ask me to do something which would mean giving up Tom."

Harvey turned to her, his dark brown eyes filled with sympathy. "Okay, I won't ask again," he said with understanding. "Why aren't you still with this guy anyway?"

"Because he's a bloody pain in the ass," shot Stella quickly, rolling her eyes. "He's got a kind heart, but after a while the mushiness begins to grind."

"Yeah, I can see that," smiled Harvey. He got Stella. She was his kind of person.

"Anyway, best get back to work," she said finally as she rose from the chair and straightened her dress. "Just let me know if you need anything."

"I will," he said, "and you let me know if you hear anything."

Stella nodded and left Harvey's office.

X

After Harvey had completed the initial paperwork for Harrison Playback, he went next door to Donna's office so she could pick up on the research.

As he reached her door his heart stopped.

She wasn't there.

Harvey spun around on his heel and scoured the open space before him, trying not to panic. "Have you seen Donna?" he said to an administrator who sat at the bank of cubicles just outside. The woman shook her head.

He gulped as a sense of dread engulfed him. He hadn't told her yet. He had been putting off telling her that Julien had left the hospital, but he hadn't gotten around to it yet. What if she'd left the building not realising? He could have been waiting for her to duck out for a coffee or cross the road to the deli. It would be his fault if anything happened to her.

He jogged down the corridor, his eyes darting into every office on the way, but she was nowhere to be seen. When he reached reception, he asked them if they'd seen her, but none of them were sure. "For fuck's sake, what the hell is the matter with you?" he roared, "you sit here all goddamn day and none of you have noticed if she's left the building?"

"Harvey, what's wrong?"

Her voice.

He turned around and she was standing in front of him carrying an armful of files, her eyes wide and pleading with him to answer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where you were," he said as he panted the last breaths of anxiety out through his mouth.

"I was in the file room. Then I went to the bathroom," she said in surprise.

"I'm sorry," he said, "You just can't leave the building without somebody being with you at the moment."

"Why not?"

"Not here," said Harvey, lowering his voice to a whisper as he motioned her to follow him back to their offices.

"No, Harvey, tell me now!" she said firmly.

Harvey ducked into a corner away from the prying eyes of the reception staff. "He's been released from hospital," he told her. "He's on bail until his trial."

Donna gasped, but then nodded resignedly. "Okay," she said, "well we knew this would happen, so what do we do."

"We get a restraining order, but you don't go anywhere on your own, just in case."

"Okay," she nodded.

"And someone will stay with you every night …"

"Oh Harvey, I don't know about that. I don't want …"

"Donna, we have no choice. I can't keep you safe if you're at your apartment on your own. You can have somebody with you or you can come back to my condo …"

"For how long? Until the trial? That could take weeks!"

"We don't have any choice and I'm not leaving you."

Donna sucked on her bottom lip as she came to terms with what Harvey was telling her. "Okay," she said finally. "I'll move my things back to your place, but I'm having your spare room and you're clearing that junk out of the closet because I'll need it."

"Consider it done," smiled Harvey. "Hey, we could make this fun."

"Don't push it," she said with a wink.

*ping*

They were just about to walk back to their offices when one of the elevator doors opened to reveal Anita Gibbs.

"Miss Paulsen, Mr Specter," she said greeting them as she walked into the reception.

"What the hell are you doing here?" shouted Harvey heatedly. She was the very last person he expected to see at the firm.

Anita smiled at Harvey's befittingly characteristic welcome. "I just need a minute of your time," she said, "both of you."

Harvey looked at Donna who mirrored his own curiosity, before leading Anita Gibbs to the main conference room behind the reception.

"Well?" he asked glaring at the Prosecutor as soon as the door closed behind them.

"I'm just stopping by to let you know I'm taking charge of the State's prosecution against Julien Roche."

"You what?" said Harvey furiously, "you're prosecuting Donna's case?"

Donna laughed and stuck her tongue in her cheek. She disliked Anita Gibbs almost as much as he did.

Anita folded her arms in front of her as she leaned on the table in the conference room. "I can understand your reaction," she said, "but I asked for this case and I will win it."

Harvey stared at her in disbelief. What game was she playing?

"Miss Paulsen … Donna," said Anita with atypical gentleness. "I want to make amends for steaming ahead with the assault charge against you. It was wrong of me, I was unprofessional and I shouldn't have done it."

Donna narrowed her eyes at the Prosecutor. "This isn't a vehicle for you to use to apologise to me," said Donna. "If you're sorry, just say it and please pass the case to someone else."

Anita Gibbs gritted her teeth and looked between Donna and Harvey. "Look, I'll level with you," she said. "You hate me for putting Mike Ross away, but Mike Ross committed a crime. And that was my job. I didn't like that Mr Specter here got off because the world knows he was behind the fraud from day one. And he did it for what? A laugh? A game? That's not how my world works, because I take the law seriously. So when I got that call from Julien Roche last week I allowed my feelings for this firm cloud my judgement and I shouldn't have done that."

"And we accept your apology, but if you think for one minute I'm going to let you handle this case then you've got another goddamn thing coming," yelled Harvey.

"You don't have a choice in who prosecutes this case, Mr Specter. You do not own it and do you think Terrence Wolf will listen to you … either of you after the Liberty Rail fiasco?" asked Anita. She was raising her voice in her usual antagonistic style, but she seemed to suddenly realise what she was doing and she stopped in her tracks and relaxed her posture. "Look, you had a good reason to humiliate me in that courtroom last Friday and you had cause to make a formal complaint …"

"There's still time for that," interrupted Harvey, his face red with anger.

"I understand, Mr Specter," said Anita. "But let me finish. I may not like you or how you do things, but there is one thing I admire about you and that's your loyalty. You look after your own, whether that is Mike Ross or Donna, and you've fought to keep this firm afloat. You're a survivor and I respect that."

"Great, write it in my Christmas card, but in the meantime, if it's alright with you, we'll still be requesting a change of prosecutor."

Anita Gibbs sighed, then raised her eyebrow in Donna's direction. "I know what happened in this office last Tuesday evening and I know what you've been going through for all of those weeks beforehand. I've read your file and I've seen this all before. I understand what it is to be a victim. I've helped dozens of women like you and I've put dozens of rapists behind bars. This is what I do."

Harvey watched as Donna's resolve wavered. "Donna, we can't trust her," he said wearily.

"I don't expect her to trust me. I don't expect either of you to trust me yet, but I will win this case for you and I will put that man behind bars for a very long time."

Donna looked at her one time adversary in the eye, reading her emotions in the way she always did so perfectly. "Okay," she said finally, "I believe you."

"Donna you can't be serious," said Harvey in despair. "We can trust this woman as far as we can throw her."

"She won't pull anything over on us, Harvey. She isn't stupid," said Donna.

Anita Gibbs smiled. "Good," she said, "and just to prove I'm serious about doing this, here's your restraining order." She pulled a piece of paper out of her bag and handed it to Harvey. "If Julien Roche comes within a mile of Donna his bail will be revoked. If he calls her, emails her, texts her or attempts to contact her in any way, then his bail will also be revoked."

Harvey read through the order, quickly seeing it was everything he had planned to ask a judge for and more.

"Julien Roche made a fool out of me with his cock-and-bull story about you being his spurned lover," Anita said to Donna. "I'm not letting him get away with that."

Begrudgingly, Harvey folded up the restraining order and stood next to Donna. "You get one shot," he said. "You blow it and I'll have your head on a plate."

"I wouldn't expect anything less, Mr Specter," said Anita Gibbs, "but I'm a New York State Prosecutor and this man is guilty, so this man will pay for what he has done. The wheels of justice have been set in motion and they won't be stopping until I put Julien Roche behind bars for a very long time."

Anita Gibbs gathered up her bag and walked to the door, "I'll need to see you both over the next few days. I want to pull together a full list of witnesses relating to the assault and to the time before it." She looked at Harvey and Donna and smiled sincerely, "I'm going to get this guy," she said before she left the conference room and walked to the elevators.

"Not sure I know what to make of this," said Donna.

"Me neither," said Harvey, "but we don't trust her yet. Let's wait and see what she brings to the table."


	24. Chapter 24 - Unity

THE PROPOSAL

Chapter 24 – Unity

Donna had been living with Harvey for over a month and as Monday loomed – the date of Julien Roche's trial – she was starting to feel panic stricken, but not only because she would be forced to face him. She also realised that she would have no reason to stay at Harvey's condo any more once Julien had been dealt with and that made her miserable because – after a month together – they were still to address the enigma that their relationship has become.

She had spent the past month working alongside Harvey as normal, but her evenings had been odd. She had easily fallen into a pattern of an 'almost married' life with him. They'd been out on a few dates – every one of them teetering on the romantic – and they'd watched movies, listened to music and talked into the small hours. She'd had a lovely time and she felt pangs of sadness that, once the trial was over, it would all end.

Something was missing.

The affection and the yearning Harvey had shown for her prior to the night of her assault hadn't resurfaced. At first she thought that was due to the attack. Harvey had been thrust into the role of carer which he must have found strange. He had become her counsellor when that was the role she had always assumed with him. Their relationship had been turned on its head and she knew it had been difficult for him. All those weeks ago, when she had tried to wash away her feelings of being a victim with his love and desire, he had turned her down … again … and she believed him when he'd told her he didn't want to take advantage of her so soon after the assault, but she was terrified that this would be it for them. Would he always see her as damaged goods?

With the trial starting tomorrow she decided that she was going to talk about it with him tonight. She needed to understand what had happened between them. How had they gone from having everything in front of them to this strange state of perpetually treading water?

Harvey had cooked them dinner and afterwards they retired to the sofa. Donna sat while he got them some drinks, staring out at the twinkling lights of his dramatic cityscape view. She never got tired of that view, or Harvey's condo, in fact she loved it. It was so 'him'.

"It's going to be fine tomorrow, you know?" said Harvey as he passed her a glass of red wine.

Donna swirled the dark liquid around in her glass, inhaling the spicy aroma as her stomach briefly sank at the thought of what was to come in the morning.

"Are you worried about seeing him?" he asked.

Donna nodded. Of course she was. The man had hurt her more in tem minutes than everyone else in her entire life combined.

Harvey placed his glass down on the table and then rested his hand on her knee. "You don't have to go if you don't want to, you know. You have to give your evidence as a witness, but after that you could just forget about this whole thing."

Donna looked at him and considered what he was saying to her. "I want to be there," she said. "I want to hear what he has to say."

"They won't call him to testify unless he wants to give evidence and they think it will help his case. I still can't believe he brought in Evan Smith as his defence attorney. Who'd have thought it? Evan Smith and Anita Gibbs in one court room." Harvey clenched his jaw as he mentioned the two women's names – both a thorn in his side for different reasons – but at least Anita Gibbs had seemed to come through for them over the last few weeks. "Don't worry yet. If I were Julien's attorney I'd be advising him to keep his mouth shut. I'd also tell him to plead guilty and spare us all this charade."

She rested her elbow on the back of the sofa as she thought some more. "I need to be there and I'm not frightened of seeing him. I'm never frightened when you're with me."

Harvey looked at her and their eyes locked. For a brief moment she felt it. The love, the desire, the yearning came back in a wave, but then he looked away and it was gone again. Just like so many times before.

"What just happened there, Harvey?" she asked boldly. She wasn't going to tip-toe around this anymore.

"Uhm … what do you mean?" he asked feigning ignorance.

She leaned closer to him and looked at him until his eyes gave in to the interrogation and met hers again. "You know what," she said. "Why do you keep pulling away from me?"

Harvey looked flustered and began to redden. "I … uhm … I just don't know how to do this."

Donna sighed and stared at Harvey's fireplace. The flames flickered and crackled as she watched intently, wondering what to say to him next. "I've enjoyed staying with you this last month," she said truthfully, "I'm going to be sad to leave."

"Really?" he said, "I thought you hated my manly home with all my manly things."

"No, I said you needed a splash of colour and a touch of femininity, that's all. That's easy done."

"With a cactus?" he laughed.

"Absolutely," she said laughing back, "and with me."

And there it was again. From laughter to uncomfortable silence in one fell swoop.

"Harvey, what's going on here?" she asked. "We've had our dates now and they've all been lovely. This isn't how you've historically behaved with a woman you've taken on two dates never mind fifteen. Why are you afraid to touch me?"

"You know why."

"Because of the assault?" she said as she sat back and tucked her legs underneath her protectively.

Harvey nodded. "Yes," he said. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"Why would you hurt me?" said Donna in quiet exasperation.

Harvey sighed and took a swig of wine. He hated talking about his feelings, but there was nowhere to run. Besides, thanks to Dr. Agard, he knew all about how sharing bad feelings made them go away. "You've just been through so much and I need to care for you and protect you and I can't do that if I … if I … go somewhere we might not be ready."

"I'm ready Harvey," said Donna as she placed her hand on his arm. "I'm not made of china. I'm not fragile. I'm not going to break."

Harvey's eyes locked with hers again, but this time he didn't look away. He placed his hand on hers and he held it there, gently squeezing as he let out a big sigh. "I love you, Donna," he said. "I love you more than I've ever loved any woman in my entire life, but … I … don't know if I can give you what you need."

"I need you. That's all I've ever needed. I know you better than you know yourself. I know what you think and I know how you think and I know you're ready." Donna leaned closer to him and raised her hand to feel his hair, running her fingers down his head to the back of his neck, then letting her fingers circle around the warm skin under his collar.

"Donna," he whispered as she moved closer again, moving her other hand to his face and guiding his eyes to hers.

"I love you Harvey," she said before she brushed her lips over his. Her mouth parting with his as their tongues moved together, tasting each other and locking together with the desire that had always existed between them, but that they'd pushed aside for the sake of their sacred friendship.

Donna kneeled on the sofa and pulled off her black sweater, deciding she was going to take control of this – the next step – and show Harvey it was what she wanted. Harvey looked at her as she leaned in closer to him again, her red hair hanging in coils over her chest. He reached out and gently brushed her hair to the side so he could see the translucent, freckled skin of her breasts enveloped in her black lace bra. She smiled and helped him by flicking her hair back and over her shoulder before kissing him again.

Harvey ran his hands up Donna's bare back sending shivers rippling over her skin and butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she kissed him again and again. "Are you sure?" he said, stopping her whilst she started to undo the buttons of his shirt, slowly revealing his toned torso.

"What do you think?" she whispered back as she stroked his chest, running her fingers down his abs and settling her attention on the burgeoning mound below his waistline.

Harvey moaned as he felt her touch, aching to release himself. "Bedroom?" he whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck, tracing his tongue along the freckles.

"Uh-hum," she replied breathlessly as she stood and took his hand, leading him through to his open plan sleeping area and pulling him onto the bed after her.

Harvey was longing to touch her and feel her and be united with her. He had thought about the 'what ifs' of sleeping with Donna for thirteen years, but now there was no going back. It was this – what he wanted – or it was nothing at all. He lay next to her on the bed, kissing her tenderly and taking his time, hoping to make the wait worthwhile, but also making sure she was alright.

Their heads both rested on his pillow as they lay in each other's arms, his mouth teasing hers so sensually that she moaned loudly into his throat, begging him to speed it up. She felt him tugging at her sweatpants so she eased herself up off the bed to help him pull them off while she unbuttoned his trousers and slid her hand inside his pants, feeling his heat and his hardness. He pushed his clothing aside quickly and rolled on top of her, fiddling with the clasp of her bra until her breasts sprang free and they were finally naked together, their bodies entwined as they lay in each other's arms making the moment last as long as they could.

"Donna," he whispered breathlessly into the crook of her neck as his hands spread over her hips pulling her towards him, "are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Uh-hum," she replied pointing his chin upwards to meet his eyes. "I've never been more sure of anything," she said as she brought her lips to his again, arching into him and wrapping her legs around his waist so that he could slide inside her.

He rocked into her slowly, almost as if he was frightened of hurting her. His body moved with hers and she closed her eyes and moaned with every thrust. He wanted her to know that this was love and not just sex, so he did everything he could to make it last, looking deeply into her eyes each time he entered her.

Feeling every pant of her own breath against his skin until finally his pace quickened and she felt her walls tightening around him, a gush of ecstasy coursed through her body as she squealed his name.

He waited patiently until her body slowly settled, the ripples making her twist her toes in a knot, then he picked up the pace again, pushing himself deep inside her until he felt his own release.

When he had finished he lay beside her, his head on her chest as she twirled her fingers into his hair. They waited a while in silence, both of them contemplating what had just happened. Both of them realising there was no going back. Both of them happy.

Donna felt herself drifting off to sleep when she finally heard him speak her name again. "What is it Harvey?" she asked drowsily as he moved to look at her. He was smiling at her and his eyes were filled with so much love that she felt like she was going to cry.

He brushed her hair over her shoulder and caressed her face, "we're going to have to do this a lot more to make up for the thirteen years we waited," he said.

Donna laughed and kissed him on the cheek, "that's fine by me," she said, "now let us get some sleep."

X

The next morning Donna woke up in Harvey's arms. He was still sleeping and she didn't want to wake him, so she wriggled free of his hold and scooted to the other side of the bed.

"Hey, where are you going?" he said groggily. His eyes were still shut which she thought was sweet.

"Dead arm," she said as she wiggled her fingers in the air trying to get the feeling back.

"Come here," he said as he pulled her back and rubbed her hand between his before cuddling her up in his arms again.

She could feel him breathing into her hair as she lay next to him, enjoying the protection of his arms around her body. "Harvey?" she said as she turned to face him.

"Uh-hum," he replied with his eyes still shut. She knew he wasn't a morning person but seeing how long it took him to wake up was quite funny.

"I'm worried about today," she said.

Harvey shot upright, "oh shit, what time is it!" he shouted.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's not 6.00am yet," she said quickly as she watched him rub his eyes. Panic over.

Harvey flung his head backwards onto the pillow. "Shit, I thought we'd overslept," he said as he turned towards her again and slid his arm under her allowing her to snuggle back into him. "Today will be fine," he said finally as he placed his head on hers, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tight. "I told you. You'll never have to be scared again. He can't hurt you because I'm never … (kiss) … ever … (kiss) … ever … (kiss) … going to let you go."

"That'll make life interesting in the office," she said with a laugh.

"Yes it will," he said, "and you can move into my office if you want. Your desk next to mine just so we can do this whenever we want."

"You want us to have sex in your office?" said Donna in mock horror.

Harvey laughed. "No. I meant we can snuggle."

"Ah, that's a shame," said Donna teasingly.

Harvey opened one eye and twisted his mouth into a funny grimace. "Well we could have sex in there if you want, but it would be a bit weird with all the people and the glass walls and everything. We'd have to wait until it was dark and nobody was … oh … shit, sorry … I …"

It took Donna a moment to realise what Harvey was thinking. "Hey, don't be silly," she said. "You don't have to watch what you say."

"I know, I know, but it was stupid …"

"Harvey, seriously, I thought nothing of it. You made the comparison, not me. Just be normal," she said firmly.

Harvey sighed. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I just can't help feeling like I want to keep you safe all the time. At least until that bastard is behind bars where he belongs. Then I'll be able to relax, but … I don't want …"

"What?"

"Well I don't want this to sound a bit quick, but I don't want you to go home."

"I don't' want to go home either."

"So what do we do?"

"Keep things like this for as long as we want?" she asked as she crossed her arms around his neck, her mouth turned upwards into a teasing smirk.

"Okay, you got me," he said as he kissed her on the lips, tasting an irresistible trace of last night's red wine. "But on one condition. You sleep in my bed with me every night."

"I think I could manage that," she said kissing him back. "As long as you don't snore like you did last night."

Harvey pouted at her. "I don't snore," he said.

"You totally do," she laughed.

"Fine, I'll let you wake me up or roll me over or something if I snore."

They both giggled then chatted in bed together until 7.30am. They were more comfortable than Donna could have ever thought possible and even though it hadn't been her who was most afraid of taking their relationship to the next level, she wondered if Harvey was feeling the same.


	25. Chapter 25 - The Trial (Part 1)

THE PROPOSAL

Chapter 25 – The Trial (Part 1)

Today was the day Donna Paulsen had been dreading.

After over a month, she was going to face him. Julien Roche – the man who had terrorised her and hurt her and attempted to rape her would be inside the courtroom where she was expected to tell a room full of strangers what he had done to her. He was pleading not guilty which meant he was going to lie and it meant that the prosecution would be relying on witness testimony to make their case.

The last time she was called to a witness stand she had caved. Anita Gibbs, the fierce prosecutor who had been responsible for her losing her shit during Mike's trial, was now on her side and as uncomfortable as her relationship with Anita still was, Donna had faith in the woman's ability and she had long since reconciled given up her mistrust. She seemed understanding of Donna's plight, she had even shown sympathy, and Donna felt she was capable of putting Julien away for the minimum seven years his crimes warranted.

X

As their car approached the courtroom, her stomach lurched at the thought of what might happen, but sitting next to her was her rock, her lover, the man who had striven to protect her for over a decade and she knew she'd be safe as long as he was with her. Still, she was also worried about Harvey. Harvey and Julien in one room – albeit a courtroom – was going to be almost as stressful as having to see Julien herself. She had made him promise not to say anything stupid and she was relieved that Jessica and Louis would be there too. She knew that Jessica would be anticipating Harvey blowing his stack at some point so she'd asked her to sit next to him to make sure he keeps his cool.

As she got out of the car she looked towards the doors of the courtroom and started to climb the steps. Harvey took her hand and smiled encouragingly. "It'll be over soon," he said, "and then we'll get on with the rest of our lives." She smiled back at him. Yesterday had been the pinnacle of her life so far. The day when she and Harvey had finally made a commitment to one another. She had so much to look forward to and she knew that in a few days they'd be closing the door on this terrible time and marching on with their lives.

They entered the building and Donna was met by a familiar face. "Rach," she beamed as she ran to her best friend and flung her arms around her.

Rachel held Donna tight as tears streamed down her face. She looked past Donna to Harvey and smiled awkwardly at him. She was obviously still finding it difficult to accept that Mike was in jail while he was free. Harvey made his excuses to leave them to talk, saying he'd wait outside their courtroom.

"I'm so sorry, Donna," said Rachel, "I didn't know what had happened until a few days ago. My dad told me. He had heard about the trial … and …"

"That's okay, Rach, you've had enough on your plate. I wouldn't have bothered you with this," said Donna as she smiled at her friend and brushed her hair off her tear-streaked face. "I'm just glad you're here now."

"I can't believe it, Donna," she said. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have come straight over to you, you know that? I feel terrible …"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," said Donna clutching her friend's arms reassuringly, "I had lots of support and I had Harvey."

Something in the ways she said 'and I had Harvey' resonated with Rachel. She squinted her eyes and searched Donna's face for affirmation. "You mean?"

Donna nodded proudly, "Harvey and I are together," she said. "You're the first to know."

"Wow, Donna," said Rachel in shock, "that's just … wow!" She swallowed down her surprise and hugged her friend again. "I'm … pleased for you."

"You mean that?" said Donna, gritting her teeth.

"Uhm … yeah … yeah, of course I do. I'm just shocked, but yeah … I'm really, really happy for you."

"Thank you, that means so much to me after everything that's happened," said Donna. "Do you think you're ready to come back to the firm yet?"

Rachel smiled but looked awkward. "Soon," she said. "I've almost completed my final year now. I'm going to think about it after my exams."

Donna nodded, but she couldn't conceal the disappointment which flashed across her face. Rachel noticed and smiled back sympathetically. "Are you going to stay today?" asked Donna, gripping onto Rachel's arm, her face strained with nerves.

"If you want me to," said Rachel.

Donna gestured that she did. She needed all the help she could get today. "We better get going then."

Rachel and Donna walked to the courtroom where Harvey was sitting on the bench outside. Being inside that court – just five months after Mike – brought back so many unpleasant memories for all three of them. Rachel and Harvey observed each other silently. Both of them suspicious of what the other was thinking, then finally Rachel broke the ice. "I'm happy for you and Donna, Harvey."

Harvey raised his eyebrows in surprise. He looked at Donna who confirmed with a wink that Rachel knew about them. "Uhm … thank you …" he said, his face flushing pink. He hadn't thought about telling other people so soon, but he didn't mind. He was too happy to care what anybody thought.

When it was time to go inside, Harvey took a seat next to Jessica and Louis with Donna and Rachel at his other side. Both he and Rachel took hold of Donna's hands in encouragement as they waited for the trial to begin.

X

"The prosecution calls Donna Paulsen to the stand."

She knew she'd be the first called, but she wasn't fully prepared for the way those words 'calls Donna Paulsen' would make her feel. Terrified. She could see the back of Julien's head as she walked forward and she had tried so hard not to look in his direction, but soon she would be practically facing him and the thought of looking into his cruel and twisted dark eyes sent her body flipping into waves of panic. Harvey could tell she'd started to shake and his face filled with concern, he wanted to walk up to the stand with her, hold her and make everything alright, but he couldn't. He had to let go of her hand and the separation made him choke.

Donna was wearing a pale pink satin dress with a bold rose pattern detail and grey pumps – just her usual smart, yet ultra-feminine, attire that she'd chosen because it made her feel pretty. It was one of Harvey's favourite dresses which she found odd because she expected him to prefer her in something more business-like and monochrome. Her hair bounced around her shoulders as she walked up to the stand, passing Anita Gibbs who smiled warmly and reassuringly at her. They had practiced this exchange and Gibbs was letting her know she had things covered.

Donna took her seat, said her oath, then regarded the jury. Twelve men and women, all different ages and with presumably different backgrounds and social statuses, all watching her and wondering what her story was going to be. All she had to do was tell the truth. She could do this. She made sure she didn't look in his direction. She could do this best if she didn't look at him.

"Miss Paulsen, when did you first meet Julien Roche?"

"At a work meeting in our conference room. There had been a welcome party we both attended beforehand but I don't recall seeing or talking to him there."

"And when did you first have a conversation with him?

"Several days later in his office. I'd just completed some work he needed and I brought it to him." She kept her eyes dead ahead, blocking out Julien and his counsel, Evan Smith, to her right and the enquiring eyes of the jury to her left.

"How was he with you that day?"

"Awful," she said, "he was mad with me because I let Antonio … an administrator he didn't like … help with the work. At least, I thought that was the reason he was angry at the time. Now, I'm not so sure if he was genuine. I already knew that Julien had banned Antonio from doing any legal work and he threatened to fire him." Donna sighed as she remembered that day. If only she'd known back then. "I begged him not to fire Antonio, and he said he wouldn't if I let him kiss me."

"And did you?"

"Yes, I did," she said, her face flushing with embarrassment. "And I regret that."

"How did you feel afterwards?"

"Stupid. Disgusted. Foolish. I thought that would be it … I don't know why I thought that would be it looking back, but I just wanted to save my friend from getting fired. I wasn't thinking of myself."

"What happened next?" asked Anita, scrutinising the expressions on the faces of the jury.

"The next morning I went to his office and told him that I didn't want to have anything to do with him ever again. He'd left flowers on my desk and I sent them back to him. Then, a few days later he came to my office and gave me a key to his apartment. He was going to withdraw the investment his firm had made in ours, but he said he would stop if I slept with him."

"Did you tell anyone about this, Miss Paulsen?" asked Anita.

"Yes, I told my boss, Jessica Pearson, a few days later. I tried to handle it for a while, but he kept pressurising me, saying disgusting things to me and I was scared, so I asked Jessica for help and she fired him."

"And that happened the day of the attempted rape?"

"Yes, in the morning. I didn't see him at all that day and I was working late with Harvey."

"Harvey Specter is your boss too?" said Anita, filling in the names for the benefit of the jury.

"Yes. Harvey and I had a small crisis to take care of and we were working late in his office. He went out to get us something to eat and when he was gone … that's when it happened."

"Miss Paulsen, I know this is very difficult, but I need you to run through the events of that night."

Donna nodded. Her body was aching with nerves and she felt like she was going to be sick, but it was almost over. She looked out into the courtroom and spotted Harvey. He looked worried, but he smiled at her encouragingly and she tried to focus on getting through the testimony so she could feel the warmth and security of his hand holding her hand again.

"I went back to my office to pick up some files. It was just for a moment, but when I turned around to leave, Julien was there. He told me he had been fired and he said he knew it was my fault."

Donna took a deep breath as she felt her eyes water. This was harder than she thought. Anita Gibbs nodded for her to continue. She glanced at Harvey again … and Rachel, Jessica and Louis. All four of them were there for her, supporting her and loving her. Giving her the strength to go on.

"I told him to leave. I said Harvey would be back any minute and he'd kick the shit … excuse me … out of him if he was still here when he did. Julien didn't budge. He continued staring at me and … I just wanted him to go away … then he told me he wanted to …" Donna froze in shame at the words she was about to utter in front of strangers, but it was just as bad saying it in front of her friends. "He told me he wanted to see what I looked like without my clothes on and he tried to remove my dress."

Tears fell from her eyes as she heard audible gasps from the jury. She looked out over the courtroom and she could see Rachel was close to tears. Harvey and Jessica were both frowning, but were more composed. Louis rose to his feet, his face crumpled, and he left the room.

"Did you do or say anything to stop him?"

"Yes, I slapped his hand away and told him I didn't like him and that he made me feel sick. Then he hit me so hard that he broke my cheekbone," she said as she wiped away a few tears. Anita Gibbs and the jury were watching her intently so she took another deep breath to steady her nerves before continuing. "He was so angry and he pushed me up against the wall so I couldn't move. He held my arms so tightly that it hurt and he dug his fingers into my skin. I tried to break free but he … he … caught me and pulled me back by my hair. He slammed my head into the wall so hard that I couldn't see … I …" Her voice cracked as she choked back sobs.

"Do you need a drink of water?" asked Anita supportively.

Donna nodded and waited as she was passed a glass. She tried to compose herself, but she couldn't stop her tears from falling. She looked over to Harvey who was sitting forward with his head bowed, Jessica rested her arm on his to support him.

"Are you able to continue, Miss Paulsen?" asked Anita.

"Yes, I just want this over with," said Donna sniffing away her tears. "I'm sorry … I'll try …"

"Don't worry. We all know how difficult this is. Can you tell us what happened next?"

"He was holding me up against the wall and he was kissing me. I couldn't move. I tried, but I couldn't … I thought I was going to pass out because of my head. I remember he ripped my dress and I could feel his hands on me … inside my bra … I felt sick … I don't know how … I … uhm … oh and then I bit his lip. Just to get his mouth off me." Donna closed her eyes as she recalled the series of events, trying hard to get her testimony right. "I broke free again after that but he hit me again and he pushed my head into the desk. I remember his hands … and the pain … he was holding me face down by my neck. I knew what he was going to do, I knew … and it was as if I was just trapped … waiting to feel … him."

She closed her eyes again, steadying herself. She was almost there. "I felt him push up my dress as he held me down and then … he … uhm … ripped my underwear off and I felt his hand … there … touching me. I couldn't move and I could hear him undoing his belt. I didn't think I could fight him anymore. The only thing I could see was what was on my desk … a stapler, some pens, papers … and a letter opener. I didn't even think about it. I just picked it up and I stabbed him with it. In his hand first, then in his shoulder. And then I ran …"

"Was that the last time you saw Julien Roche, Miss Paulsen?"

"Yes, it was," Donna replied, squirming uncomfortably in her seat. All eyes were on her and she didn't like it. She glanced at the jury and they all looked sympathetic. A young black woman smiled at her encouragingly and she spotted an elderly lady shake her head sympathetically in disgust. Then she looked away. She didn't know if she should be watching the jury's reaction.

"Thank you Miss Paulsen," said Anita Gibbs, "you've been very brave. That will be all."

Donna didn't know if she could leave the stand or not. She looked at the judge – Allan Cooper, the same judge who'd presided over her arraignment – but he was looking out over the courtroom. She saw movement to her right as Evan Smith rose to her feet. Her eyes skimmed over Julien Roche's figure briefly and she shuddered. She clamped her eyes shut again, terrified to look at him.

"Well that was a wonderful performance, Miss Paulsen," said Evan Smith provocatively. Donna knew the score. She'd been briefed by Anita Gibbs and Harvey. "Can you tell the court what you do for a living please?"

"I'm currently a paralegal at Pearson Specter Litt," she replied.

"Yes, sorry, I mean what else do you do?"

Donna took a moment to think about what Evan meant. "I'm an actress," she replied, still not sure if this was what Evan meant. "An amateur. I do some acting in off Broadway productions."

"An actress," said Evan, her beautiful but cruel face beaming as if she had just won a prize. "And you're a fabulous actress. We can all see how talented you are."

"Objection, Your Honour," said Anita.

"Sustained. Ms Smith please try to stick to asking the witness questions we don't need leading statements from you," said Judge Cooper, wearily. He more than knew how these games played out, but in serious cases like this, his tolerance wore thin.

Evan smirked and waved her hand dismissively. "Miss Paulsen. Have you ever had sexual relations with anybody you work with?"

Donna pursed her lips and exhaled through her nose, mentally telling herself she had nothing to be ashamed of, but she was worried about this line of questioning. She was petrified about saying the wrong thing. "Yes," she answered at last.

"With how many different men?"

"With one. Stephen Huntley."

"Only one?" laughed Evan. "A young, attractive, talented secretary, impressed by all the wealthy, successful lawyers she meets every day. I find that very hard to believe and I'll remind you that you're under oath."

She looked at Harvey in panic. He nodded at her. It was okay. "Two men," she said.

"Ah the number is going up," said Evan arching an eyebrow, "And who was the other lucky gentleman?"

Donna could feel her blood pressure rise at Evan Smith's disrespectful tone of voice. She was pleased she wasn't a lawyer. She couldn't do this to anybody, she looked at Harvey again and he mouthed 'it's okay' to her. She took a deep breath. "It was Harvey Specter," she said at last, her heart racing with a mixture of shame and fury. She looked at Harvey, seeing clearly that he was upset and angry. 'Please let him hold it together,' she thought. She noticed Jessica looking both surprised and uncomfortable at the revelation. 'Surely, she knew?'

"That's alright Miss Paulsen," said Evan. "You're a single woman, you can have sex … often … and with whomever you choose."

"Objection, Your Honour."

"Sustained. Ms Smith watch yourself here. Miss Paulsen is not on trial," said Judge Cooper.

"I know that, Your Honour, I'm just trying to establish the facts."

"Then please establish the facts promptly and ethically, Ms Smith, or I will end this line of questioning."

Evan smirked cruelly. It was the first time Donna had encountered Evan Smith, but she had heard all about her. This was the striking lawyer who was responsible for her being charged with intent to commit felony fraud just over a year ago. Harvey had told her she was as cold as ice, which Donna could see was true.

"Miss Paulsen, can you describe your relationship with your boss, Harvey Specter, for the court?"

"What? … I … I don't know what you mean?" Donna genuinely didn't know how to answer that.

"How long have you worked for him?"

"Thirteen years."

"And we've established you've had sexual relations with him, so would you say you were in love with him?"

Donna pursed her lips and looked to Anita for guidance, then the judge. Nobody was stepping in this time. "Yes," she said finally. "I am."

"And would you do anything for him?"

"Anything within reason."

"And are you currently in a relationship – a sexual relationship – with Harvey Specter?"

"Objection, Your Honour, the witness's personal relationships are not relevant to this case," said Anita Gibbs.

"Your Honour I'm attempting to ascertain the witness's relationship status at the time of the alleged assault, which is very relevant to the defence of my client," shot back Evan.

"Overruled. The witness will answer, but again Ms Smith, I will stop this interrogation if you don't make your point fast."

Donna looked across the room at Harvey. His face was red and he was frowning. She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "Yes, we are in a relationship," she said, "but we weren't at the time Julien was sexually harassing me and we weren't the night he tried to rape me."

Evan smirked again and twisted her mouth, "Sure you weren't," she said flippantly. "You mentioned having sexual relations with somebody else you worked with. A … Stephen Huntley was it?"

"Yes," said Donna.

"Were you in love with Stephen Huntley?"

"No, I wasn't."

"So, were you with him purely for sex?"

Harvey shot to his feet and Donna's insides tied themselves in knots. "You're out of goddamn line, Evan!" he roared at his long-time adversary.

"Mr Specter, sit back down immediately," shouted Judge Cooper.

"The Hell I will, this is a goddamn witch-hunt!"

"Mr Specter, I will not have disorder in my courtroom. Either stay seated and be quiet or I will have you removed."

Jessica stood up, grabbed Harvey's arm and spoke to him in a whisper. Donna couldn't hear, but she could imagine what Jessica was saying to him. He was clenching his jaw and he held his hands in fists by his sides. Donna frowned, her eyes pleading with him to calm down. Eventually he took his seat.

Evan Smith grinned as if she was a cat who'd got the cream. Harvey's outburst had shown the jury exactly what she wanted to show them. "What was Harvey Specter's reaction to your relationship with Stephen Huntley?"

Donna clenched her teeth together. She knew how the truth was going to sound. "It bothered him," she said truthfully.

"Would you say he was jealous?" asked Evan.

"You'd have to ask him that," said Donna defiantly.

Evan smiled smugly again. "Let me rephrase the question," she said. "In your opinion, Miss Paulsen, was Mr Specter happy or unhappy about your relationship with Stephen Huntley?"

"Unhappy," she said with a shrug.

"And when Stephen Huntley was later discovered to be pretending to be someone he wasn't, shall we say, what did Harvey Specter do to him?"

'Oh, for fuck's sake,' thought Donna. She exhaled and stuck her tongue in her cheek, shaking her head in disbelief. 'Where the hell had this come from?' She couldn't believe Evan had dug all of this up. "Harvey hit him," she said finally. Anita Gibbs looked annoyed. She hadn't known any of this, but how could they have predicted Evan Smith would go down this road?

"He hit him?" asked Evan. "Was that a mere slap, or was it a violent assault?"

"I don't know, I wasn't there," snarled Donna.

"You saw Stephen the next day, did you not?" Donna nodded. "So, did his injuries indicate he'd been hit once or that he'd been violently assaulted?" repeated Evan.

Donna narrowed her eyes furiously, "assaulted," she said, "but…"

Evan held up her hands and interrupted her quickly. "And what happened when Harvey Specter found out you had been intimate with Julien Roche?"

"What?" said Donna in shock.

"Objection, Your Honour, confrontational."

"Sustained. Miss Smith, I shouldn't have to tell you this again. Please be careful," warned Judge Cooper.

"I'll rephrase, Your Honour, my apologies" said Evan. "Miss Paulsen. What did Harvey Specter do to the defendant when he found out that you had kissed him?"

Donna sought out Harvey over the sea of faces in the courtroom. His face was still red and his eyes were angry slits, disappearing under his knotted brow. "He hit him," said Donna, "but … that wasn't …"

"And that's the reason why you have invented this story, isn't it?"

"What … No!"

"Harvey Specter … the man you love … the man you'd do anything for … the man you've wanted to be with for over a decade. The man you are now, finally, in a relationship with is a jealous and violent man. How would he have reacted to you having sexual relations with a work colleague that wasn't him?"

"That isn't the way …"

"You knew any chance of a future with Harvey Specter would be gone if he knew about your affair with the defendant, isn't that true?"

"No it isn't …"

"Objection!" roared Gibbs.

"You knew Harvey Specter would beat the defendant black and blue if he knew you were sleeping with him, isn't that true Miss Paulsen?

"No … NO … it wasn't like that!"

"Objection, Your Honour!"

"Sustained. Ms Smith you will stop interrogating this witness immediately," said Judge Cooper.

"That will be all," asserted Evan. "The witness is free to leave the stand."

Donna was shaking with rage and she was just about to get up, but Anita Gibbs stood up first, "one last question Miss Paulsen," she said. "Why did you stab the defendant, I know you've already said, but I think we need you to repeat it again for the court?"

"Because he was going to rape me," said Donna.

"Because he was going to rape you," repeated Anita Gibbs as she turned to the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen, each of you have been given a copy of the police report including photographs of Miss Paulsen which were taken on the night of the attack. You will have to decide whether you think it is reasonable that a man would inflict physical injuries upon the body of a woman he was allegedly in a relationship with, or whether the extent of Miss Paulsen's injuries indicate a violent assault has taken place."

Anita Gibbs looked over to Evan Smith, unable to disguise her disgust. "Thank you Miss Paulsen. You can stand down now."

Donna stumbled for a moment as she got up, her body drained of energy, as she stepped down from the stand. She felt relieved it was over but she was wracked with doubt. Had she been convincing? Had she said the right things? The whole world knew about her and Harvey now, but she didn't care. She walked back to the rows of spectator seats and he moved out to meet her, wrapping his arm protectively around her shoulder and gently guiding her back to her seat. He held her hand again and she relaxed into his touch, resting her head on his shoulder.

It was over, but soon it would be his turn.


	26. Chapter 26 - The Trial (Part 2)

THE PROPOSAL

Chapter 26 – The Trial (Part 2)

"The Prosecution calls Dr. Paula Agard to the stand."

Harvey smiled at his therapist as she entered the courtroom. She was dressed smartly, in a plain black suit with a crisp white shirt underneath. Her wispy blonde hair was pinned up neatly. Paula strode confidently to the stand and took her seat. She was used to giving evidence in a courtroom and she had been eager to help Donna and Harvey.

"Dr. Agard, can you please tell the court about your involvement with this case," said Anita Gibbs.

"Yes, I counselled the victim the day after the attempted rape," said Paula. She spoke clearly and professionally to the court in her warm British accent.

"Was that in a professional capacity?"

"No, it was informal. Harvey Specter, the victim's friend and work colleague, is a client of mine. He called me and asked me to care for her."

Harvey saw Jessica twist uncomfortably in her seat next to him out of the corner of his eye. Jessica hadn't known he'd been seeing a therapist. He didn't mind his secret getting out. His weakness. His embarrassment. He would have died a year ago at her knowing, but now? None of these things mattered to him anymore.

"How long did you spend with the victim?"

"I was with her for most of the day. From early morning until mid-afternoon," said Paula.

"Can you tell the court about Miss Paulsen's state of mind on that day please, Dr. Agard."

"Yes. I think when I first arrived she was reluctant to open up to me. She was tired and she'd made a lengthy police report already, so I think she didn't want to speak anymore. But, as time went on she talked and it was clear that she was very distressed by what had happened to her and she was in a lot of pain from her injuries."

"In your professional capacity, what do you think the victim's thoughts were that day?"

"Well, common with victims of sexual assault, Miss Paulsen felt guilty and ashamed. She spoke about things she could have done differently – the kiss in particular – and she wished she'd told Harvey about the defendant pressurising her to go to his apartment and sleep with him. It was my job to listen to her and hopefully make her realise that none of this was her fault."

Anita Gibbs smiled warmly at Paula. "Thank you, Dr. Agard. That will be all."

Now it was the Defence's turn. Harvey regarded Evan Smith as she rose from her seat and strutted out onto the floor. He hated her. He found no redeeming qualities in the cold hearted woman and he wondered why she was bothering to cross examine Paula at all. How on earth was she going to turn this around?

"Did you receive payment for your day spent with Miss Paulsen, Dr. Agard?" asked Evan.

"Yes I did," said Paula with a laugh at the odd question. "I didn't want to be paid, but Harvey insisted."

"I see," said Evan, "and how long have you known Harvey Specter?"

"For just over a year."

"Would you say Mr Specter is a troubled man, Dr. Agard?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer any questions regarding my therapy sessions with Mr Specter. I am here to talk about Miss Paulsen," said Paula expertly rebuffing Evan's questioning. Harvey grinned as he watched her from his seat.

Evan smiled sarcastically at Paula, "Of course," she said, "but given the defendant states that Miss Paulsen fabricated her story to cover up the affair she was having with him. And to cover up the fact she assaulted him with a deadly weapon causing permanent, irreversible damage to his person, the court needs to understand the temperament of Mr. Specter."

"Objection Your Honour, Harvey Specter is not on trial here."

"Sustained."

Harvey could feel his blood pressure rising again at Evan's attempts to drag him into this case. 'Just get me on that stand,' he thought. He was eager to put the world to rights.

"I'm afraid I'm prevented from disclosing anything from my sessions with Mr. Specter due to doctor and client privilege," said Paula.

Evan looked pissed. Harvey was pleased. He felt Donna relax next to him and he gripped her hand, squeezing until she looked at him. "Paula did great," he whispered and Donna's eyes glinted as she smiled in agreement.

"The witness is excused," said Evan in defeat. Paula Agard rose from her seat and left the courtroom, smiling at Harvey and Donna as she left.

X

"The Defence calls Jessica Pearson to the stand."

Harvey turned to look up at Jessica as she stood next to him. She placed one hand on his shoulder, "here we go," she said with humour. Harvey wasn't worried. Jessica couldn't be ruffled.

Jessica strode regally up to the stand, said her oath then took a seat. She was dressed in an exquisite black suit, her hair and make-up immaculate as always.

"Miss Pearson, can you remind the court of your relationship to the victim and to the defendant," said Anita Gibbs. Harvey thought it was strange to see Anita and Jessica working together on the same side. It hadn't been so long since Anita Gibbs had zealously battled to bury Jessica for her co-conspiracy in Mike's fraud.

"I am Miss Paulsen's boss and I've known her for over ten years. My firm is in partnership with Mr Roche's firm," said Jessica. Her tone was authoritative and precise.

"And when were you first made aware of a problem between Miss Paulsen and Mr Roche."

"The day before the attempted rape. Miss Paulsen came to see me in my office. She was very upset, which is unlike her, so I knew there was a problem. She told me that Mr Roche was pressurising her into sleeping with him and that she was afraid of him."

"Did you have any reason to doubt Miss Paulsen's claims?"

"None whatsoever. Not for a second. Miss Paulsen is the most honest and genuine person I know. I could tell she'd been battling this for a while and she wouldn't have asked for my help if she wasn't desperate," said Jessica.

"What did you do next?"

"I spoke with Mr Roche's brother, Claude Roche. He is the Managing Partner of his firm and it is Claude who I have a business deal with. I explained the situation to him and the next morning we both spoke to Miss Paulsen together. I wanted Julien Roche gone from my firm and he wanted him gone that day. His brother took some persuading, but he eventually agreed to send him back to France."

"Thank you Miss Pearson," said Anita Gibbs, "that will be all."

Evan Smith rose from her seat. Her brilliant white trouser suit clashed dramatically with Jessica's black outfit as both women prepared to face off against one another.

"Miss Pearson," smiled Evan disingenuously, "you said that Miss Paulsen coming to see you was the first time you heard about any tension between her and Mr Roche. Is that true?"

Jessica narrowed her eyes as she realised that she had known something was amiss beforehand. "Not completely," she said. "There had been some rumours about Miss Paulsen and Mr Roche, but I don't take any notice of office gossip."

"Please explain the nature of those rumours to us, Miss Pearson."

Jessica exhaled in resignation. She knew the game and she knew when she had to adhere to the rules. "There was gossip that Miss Paulsen was romantically interested in Mr Roche and that they'd had some sort of fling."

"I see," said Evan Smith. "And what was the upshot of those rumours within your firm?"

"There was no upshot because the rumours weren't true. I've already told you. I don't listen to gossip."

"Ah, but somebody you work with did listen to gossip. What was Harvey Specter's reaction to Mr Roche's 'alleged' romantic liaison with Miss Paulsen."

Jessica breathed slowly and bowed her head. She knew Harvey would be the death of her one day, but she didn't want him to be used to destroy Donna's case. "Mr Specter hit Mr Roche in his office. I believe Mr Roche had instigated the fight."

Evan held her hands up to indicate Jessica didn't need to elaborate further. "Mr Specter hit Mr Roche," she repeated. "And is it usual for Mr Specter to violently attack work colleagues at the office?" asked Evan.

"I wouldn't say it was usual," said Jessica.

Evan turned to her desk and picked up a document, scan-reading it to refresh her memory. "But it has happened before. On how many occasions has Mr Specter physically attacked the other named partner of your firm – a Mr Louis Litt?"

Harvey turned instinctively to look at Louis who had returned to the courtroom after Donna's testimony was over. Louis looked uncomfortable as the memory of their altercation over his sister, Esther, resurfaced. Harvey's eyes glistened apologetically to Louis, who mouthed, 'it's okay' at him. They'd long since settled that period of their lives.

"I recall a fight between them last year," sighed Jessica.

"And that fight almost led to Mr Specter's suspension, am I correct?"

"You are correct," fumed Jessica.

"And what was the course of action this time? What happened following Mr Specter's assault on Mr Roche?"

"Mr Roche made it clear that he was going to sue Mr Specter, but those charges were later dropped. I now know that was …"

"Just answer the question Miss Pearson," snapped Evan, interrupting Jessica to prevent her from adding her own take to her responses.

"We took no further action because Mr Roche had been fired," said Jessica forcefully. She emphasised the word 'fired' as she spoke. She was in charge and everyone in the room knew it.

Evan Smith grinned coldly. "Just one more question, Miss Pearson," she said. "When Miss Paulsen came to see you to confess the alleged sexual harassment you made a request that she did not tell Mr Specter. Can you tell the court why that was?"

Harvey could see the usually entirely unflappable Jessica Pearson shift uneasily in the seat as their eyes met over the courtroom. She flicked her hair over her shoulder as she pouted, trying to avoid the answer she knew she had to give. "I told her not to tell Harvey because I thought he'd react badly," she said.

"Because you knew, given his temper and his past record, that he would have attacked Mr Roche, is that correct?" said Evan precisely, making sure the jury understood.

Jessica nodded sheepishly. My god was she mad!

"Can you state your response for the court please Miss Pearson?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"And there we have it," said Evan as she paraded dramatically between the stand and the rows of jurors to her right. "Mr Specter has a long history of physical violence against anybody who crosses him, which both the defendant and the 'alleged' victim were aware of. No wonder Miss Paulsen felt she had no alternative but to fabricate such an elaborate story to cover up her affair with the defendant. Thank you, Miss Pearson, you are excused."

Jessica shrank back to her seat, angry that she had potentially damaged Donna's case. Harvey looked up at her and she seemed unwilling to meet his gaze. She sat down between him and Louis, "I'm sorry," she whispered, staring dead ahead.

"Nothing you could have done," sighed Harvey as he looked at Donna reassuringly. She looked concerned, but she didn't know the game as well as Harvey. Plus, his turn was still to come.

X

After a short recess, they all assembled in the courtroom again. Anita Gibbs approached them for a quick word as they waited for the judge. "Harvey, you'll be up soon and you know the drill," she said as she approached the bank of five seats where Louis, Jessica, Harvey, Donna and Rachel were seated – the PSL row. "Now, even with the line of questioning the Defence has taken, I'm not worried yet. Donna's testimony was more than convincing and Dr. Agard helped too. I think we both know that the Defence is going to come after you, so I can't stress this enough. When you're up there, you have to keep your temper in check."

Harvey nodded like a scolded teenager. He understood. "I know. You don't have to tell me. I know the score and I'll do my best."

"You have to do more than your best. I'm not putting you up there unless you can promise me you can do this because if you blow it, then we're going to be in trouble."

"I know," said Harvey again, this time he was agitated. "This is for Donna, so believe me, I know."

All five of them got it all at once. Harvey wasn't going to let Evan Smith get him into a situation where he would jeopardise Donna's case.

X

Anita Gibbs had one last witness to call before she tackled Harvey. "The prosecution calls Antonio Conti to the stand," she said.

The young Italian entered the courtroom and went straight to the stand, saying his oath and taking a seat. He smiled in their direction as he settled down.

"Mr Conti, can you please describe your relationship with the victim for the court."

"Yes, when I first arrived in New York, Julien Roche demoted me to an assistant and assigned me to work for Harvey Specter. Miss Paulsen and I worked closely together for the first few weeks."

"Did Miss Paulsen ever confide in you about her relationship with Julien Roche?"

"Yes, just after he had blackmailed her into kissing him. She told me all about and how he'd made her feel stupid and cheap and I could tell she was upset. She was afraid of what he was going to do next."

"How long had you known Mr Roche before you moved to New York, Mr Conti?"

"For four years," replied Antonio.

"And what was your opinion of him over that time?"

Antonio looked Julien in the eye. This was his chance to get back at him and he wasn't going to waste it. "I didn't like him. He is cold and calculating and he treats women appallingly. I was worried sick for Donna because I'd seen him do this to other women."

"In what way, Mr Conti?" asked Anita. They'd rehearsed their exchange so she was eager to tweak out his revelation.

"A number of times when we worked in Paris. He was married but everyone knew he slept around with other women …"

"Objection, Your Honour. Hearsay," said Evan Smith.

"Sustained. Please stick to answering the questions put to you by counsel, Mr Conti," said Judge Cooper.

"I apologise, Your Honour. I know that Mr Roche pursued a good friend of mine in a similar way to how he pursued Donna. Her name was Camille Bernieres and he pressurised her into sleeping with him just like he tried to do with Donna, except Camille did it. He eventually forced her out of the firm and we never saw her again."

"How did you react to that?"

"I was furious and I hated him for it. Julien Roche despises me because I know who he is. That is why he demoted me and banned me from working as a lawyer."

"Thank you, Mr Conti," said Anita Gibbs.

Evan Smith bounded across the courtroom firing her first question at Antonio as soon as she reached the centre. "Mr Conti, please define your relationship with Camille Bernieres."

"She was my friend," replied Antonio honestly.

"Did you have romantic feelings for her?"

"Yes, I did," replied Antonio unashamedly. "But, we were never together."

"So when Mr Roche and Miss Bernieres began a relationship back in Paris you did as all jealous, spurned lovers do and you set out to destroy the defendant's life. Is that true Mr Conti?"

Antonio laughed. Of course it wasn't true. "No, I did not," he said decisively.

"Did you tell Mr Roche's wife about his affair with Camille?"

'Oh shit', thought Harvey. He sighed and they all thought the same thing. Anita Gibbs glanced behind her, her eyes wide with surprise. Harvey shrugged at her. He didn't know this. Why hadn't she discovered it in her pre-trial meetings?

"Yes, I told his wife," said Antonio. Harvey looked to the floor and closed his eyes, his head swimming with anxiety. He realised that Antonio's testimony was blown so it was going to be all up to him.

"But you weren't content with ending the defendant's marriage, were you Mr Conti? You also conspired to lose him his biggest client, … uhm … Jardot Pharmacie, is it?"

"I didn't conspire," said Antonio weakly, "I just told them about a conflict of interest he had with a rival pharmaceutical company."

"And now you're taking the stand wanting to stick the knife in again. All because of Camille Bernieres," said Evan as she stalked the courtroom like a presidential candidate. "After Camille left your firm, you came to New York for a fresh start and witnessed your nemesis, Mr Roche, starting an affair with Miss Paulsen. You thought history was repeating itself, didn't you Mr Conti? Do you have romantic feelings for Miss Paulsen too?"

Antonio looked appalled as Harvey felt Donna retract her hand from his and rub her arm nervously. "No, I don't," said Antonio. "I work with her and she's my friend … and I like her … and …"

"That will be all, Mr Conti," said Evan Smith smugly.

Antonio left the stand a broken man. He was smart, but he was also naïve. He mouthed, 'sorry' to Donna as he passed them and she smiled at him, waving off his guilt. It wasn't his fault. Evan Smith was brutal. Nobody could have predicted she'd go down this road.

Harvey fiddled with his cufflinks as he waited for Anita Gibbs to call him. He could see the back of her head as she shuffled some documents around, her chestnut hair bobbing around the shoulders of her grey pinstripe suit. He wondered what she was thinking and how was she going to proceed. It was all down to him to make Donna's case and that worried him, yet he knew what he had to do. Most importantly he knew he had to keep his temper.

"The prosecution calls Harvey Specter to the stand," said Anita finally.

Harvey stood and straightened his tie. He gave Donna's shoulder a supportive squeeze as he walked down the centre aisle of the court, unfazed as he felt all eyes upon him. As he took the stand and said his oath, he fixed his eyes on Julien Roche, staring him down. It was the first time he'd seen him since the night of the assault. His insides fired with rage as he watched him, defiant yet broken, the end of his arm bandaged up where his hand had once been. Harvey smirked at him as he saw him huddling down in his seat. He felt nothing but revulsion at his pathetic appearance. He was scum. He was nothing but filth and even though he was a shadow of his former self, Harvey knew – if he was given the chance – that he'd beat the shit out of him.

"Mr Specter," said Anita Gibbs, "before we begin I need to briefly touch on your relationship with the victim. When did you first meet?"

"Almost thirteen years ago. Donna worked at the DA's office at the same time I did and she asked to move to my desk."

"She asked you?"

"Yes, she wanted to be an actress and she wanted to work for me because she thought I'd understand her ambitions and let her go to auditions."

"How would you describe the nature of your relationship over those thirteen years?"

Harvey swallowed hard. This was going to be difficult for him. "We worked great together and we became very close. Donna knows me better than I know myself. We were never just boss and secretary. She was part of my success. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for her."

"And your romantic relationship? Have you always been together?"

"No, not at all," said Harvey quickly. "We have … uhm … things only started after the assault, actually. Although, I think we both felt … well … I don't want to speak for Donna, but we have been so close for such a long time that … well it was the case for me that I didn't want to put our working relationship in jeopardy even though I felt … well even though I had loved her for such a long time. Maybe even from the start."

He sank into his chair as he spoke the words, his eyes trailing the wood of the stand in front of him. He didn't want to look at Donna as he thought he might break down and whatever happened – he couldn't allow that to happen. He needed to stay strong.

"On the night of the attempted rape you had left the office to go get dinner for the pair of you. Were you worried about leaving Miss Paulsen alone?"

"No, I wasn't," said Harvey, straightening himself up and pulling his emotions back into check. "I didn't know that Julien had been pressurising Donna into sleeping with him at that point. I knew about the kiss, and yes, I was mad about that, but I didn't know what else he was doing to her. If I had known, then I wouldn't have left her. I didn't know he was still in the building when I went out to pick up the food. I'd been told he'd been fired and as far as I was concerned, that meant he was gone."

Anita Gibbs' face softened as she then asked Harvey to explain the series of events of the night from his perspective. He wondered how the tables had turned. A few months ago this woman would have given everything she had to see Harvey Specter on the witness stand. He knew she didn't like him, but somehow she'd managed to put her personal feelings aside. It had taken him a while to trust her, but he was now sure she was doing what was right.

"When I got back I saw police outside the building and I saw Julien on the ground. I assumed he'd been attacked, maybe mugged, but then … the look on his face …" Harvey looked across the court and stared Julien straight in the eye as he spoke. Julien didn't flinch. His expression was unreadable. "I knew he'd done something. I could tell. So I just started yelling at him, asking him what he'd done to Donna."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Yes, he said, 'I won't tell if she doesn't'."

"I see," said Anita, raising an eyebrow for the benefit of the jury. "Now, this next part might be difficult, but can you tell us about how you found Miss Paulsen that night."

"I took the lift up to our floor and there was nobody else there. It was late, so nobody was around. I remember running to her office and when I got there I saw everything was a mess. All of her things were all over the floor. I saw blood soaked into the carpet and I saw her clothes … her underwear … and I panicked. I couldn't see straight I remember falling to the floor and shouting her name."

Harvey looked out across the courtroom and saw Donna huddled into Rachel. Their eyes locked, both of them hating having to relive that night, but both knowing it was almost over.

"Please continue, Mr Specter," said Anita Gibbs.

"I got up … somehow … I went into my office which is just next door to hers and I didn't see her to begin with. She was sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. She was a mess … god … her face was cut up, there was these big ugly bruises on her arms … I reached out to her but she flinched … I've never seen her do that before … it was as if she was trying to hide herself. She buried her face in her knees and I could see she was struggling to breathe. Her body was shaking and it was as if every breath was hurting her so I focussed on that first. She was having a panic attack. I knew because I'd had them myself, so I just sat with her and helped her get through it."

"And then what happened, Mr Specter?"

"I helped her move to the sofa, and that's when I realised … well I knew when I saw some of her clothes were on the office floor … but when I helped her up I saw she was holding her dress across her chest because he'd ripped it open. I … I remember thinking, 'hell we can deal with the bruises but please don't let him have … ra … have …'." Harvey swallowed hard as those desperate feelings all came flooding back to him. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't break down, but he could feel his eyes were full and he felt a tear rolling down his left cheek. He steeled himself to continue. "I thought please don't let him have raped her."

"Do you need a moment, Mr Specter," said Anita Gibbs as she observed Harvey struggling to keep it together.

"No, I'm fine," he said. He quickly swiped his right cheek as another tear fell, hoping nobody had noticed, but of course they had. Then he took a deep breath and tried to focus. "I asked her if he'd raped her and she told me that he was going to, but she'd fought him off. She seemed more afraid about that, you know? She was in shock because of what had happened to her, but also because she'd stabbed him. She kept saying she wanted to go home, but I knew she couldn't and I took her to the police. She didn't want to go, in fact she fought me the whole way, but I wasn't going to let him get away with what he'd done to her. I told her I'd be with her the whole time and I'd never leave her. Then, we both made a statement and I took her home to my place. I didn't want her to be alone in her apartment where he'd be able to find her so she stayed with me for a while. I got other people to watch her too. I just wanted to keep her safe."

"Thank you Mr Specter, I know that was difficult for you. The Prosecution rests its case Your Honour," said Anita Gibbs as she sat back down.

Harvey glanced at Donna and their friends sitting towards the back of the court room. He hoped he'd done ok. He smiled as he saw all four of them sitting together supporting each other. Louis, on the far left, looked devastated. He hadn't been able to listen to Donna's testimony as he'd been too upset, but he'd now heard Harvey's version of events. He had found everything to do with the assault so gruelling. Jessica was composed, but he could tell by her face that she'd found his story difficult to hear too. Donna and Rachel both looked shattered as they sat hand in hand. He was pleased Rachel had come to be with her today. He knew how much Donna had missed her.

He looked to Evan Smith who was in conversation with Julien to the right of the court room. She shuffled some notes before she stood, straightening the jacket of her white trouser suit as she crossed the room to stand in front of Harvey.

"Mr Specter, how many years have you been having casual sex with your secretary?" she asked coldly.

Harvey felt his face flush with rage. He could see Julien's expression had changed. His mouth was turned up at the corners – ever so slightly.

Harvey knew Julien was looking forward to his cross-examination.

Harvey knew … still knew … that all he wanted to do was clench his hands around his neck and squeeze every single last breath out of him.


	27. Chapter 27 - The Trial (Part 3)

THE PROPOSAL

Chapter 27 – The Trial (Part 3)

"Mr Specter, how many years have you been having casual sex with your secretary?"

The question didn't deserve a response. Harvey looked at Evan Smith with nothing but contempt as she stood in front of him, smirking, patronising and impertinent. "Zero years," he said through gritted teeth.

Evan laughed. "Come on Mr Specter," she said condescendingly, "you expect us to believe that?"

"I don't give a shit if you believe it or not, it's the goddamn truth."

"Mr Specter!" said Judge Cooper all of a sudden, "please watch your language in my courtroom."

"I'm sorry Your Honour," said Harvey. Anita Gibbs shot him a glare. She'd already warned him about his temper. He straightened his jacket and shuffled his legs, signalling to the court that he'd had a word with himself and he was ready to behave.

"Okay, Mr Specter," said Evan, "assuming we're to believe that you and Miss Paulsen didn't have a sexual relationship prior to the alleged assault, how many years have you been in love with her?"

Harvey looked at Anita. She sat back in her chair watching him. Waiting. Hoping he wasn't going to screw up. 'Where's your rejection to all of this?' he asked her with his eyes. Her expression didn't waiver.

"I don't know how long, it was never black and white," said Harvey. "It was complicated."

"Well, was it more than a year, more than five years, more than ten?" asked Evan.

"Look, I don't know. I loved her from the start, but not like that. It was more than that!"

Evan's piercing blue eyes widened as Harvey played into her hands. "More than that? So right from the start of your relationship, for almost thirteen years, you felt what? More than love for your secretary."

Harvey frowned and shook his head in agitation. "That's not what I meant," he said. He was exasperated now.

Evan held up her hands dramatically for the benefit of the jury. "Okay, okay, Mr Spector. I'm sure we all have a good idea of what you mean."

Harvey twisted in his seat again. This had all the signs of becoming a train wreck and he had to pick up his game.

"Tell us about Stephen Huntley," asked Evan.

"What about him? The guy's in jail, if that's what you mean," said Harvey.

"It wasn't," said Evan slyly. "Tell us how Miss Paulsen's sexual relationship with Stephen Huntley made you feel."

"I wasn't happy about it because I didn't like him. He was a pain in the ass and …" Harvey's voice became very authoritative as he continued, "… and he was a criminal. So, obviously I thought Donna deserved better."

"And so you assaulted him?"

Harvey twisted his mouth, his eyes narrowing angrily. "Yes I did and yes I'd do it again. Huntley was responsible for murder."

"You must have met many people responsible for murder in your line of work, Mr Specter. Do you assault all of them?"

"No, of course I don't."

"So why was Huntley different? Did you assault him because of what he'd done, or because of his relationship with your secretary?"

Harvey didn't respond.

"Oh come on now, Mr Specter. It's a simple question. What was running through your mind as you pounded your fists into Stephen Huntley's face?"

"I wanted to hurt him. That was all."

"You wanted to hurt him for Donna, isn't that correct?"

"No it isn't!"

Evan smiled darkly at him. He wasn't going to respond, but she'd done her job. She could see the minds of the jury ticking over. "Let me take you back to a week before the alleged assault. You attacked Mr Roche, the defendant, in his office. Why?"

Harvey knew he'd be asked this question and Anita had coached him accordingly. "He had been spreading rumours about Donna. I didn't like the way he spoke about her and I snapped. I shouldn't have, but I did."

Evan laughed. "You assaulted a man because you didn't like how he spoke about your secretary?"

Harvey rolled his eyes. He'd always known how this was going to sound. "Yes, and I've already said I shouldn't have."

"It seems violent outbursts like this are common with you Mr Specter. How many times have you almost been suspended from your job for assaulting your colleagues?"

"Twice," said Harvey plainly.

"With Mr Roche and Mr Litt?"

"That's correct."

"And would you say you had a reputation for having a short temper."

"I don't know," said Harvey, unable to contain the irritation in his voice.

"Mr Roche told you that your secretary was pursuing a relationship with him. Did you believe him?"

Harvey stared at the microphone in front of him, concentrating on the object as his mind spun. He had believed him and he was ashamed of himself for being so stupid. He should have known.

"Mr Specter, please answer the question. When Mr Roche told you he'd begun a sexual relationship with your secretary and that she was pursuing him for more, did you believe him?"

Harvey pursed his lips and glanced over to where Donna was sitting. She knew he'd believed it and he could remember how upset that had made her. She was upset now, but her eyes told him it was okay to tell the truth.

"Don't look at her, Mr Specter," said Evan firmly, "just answer the question."

"I believed Julien Roche to start with," said Harvey in defeat.

"Is this Miss Paulsen's usual behaviour then, Mr Specter? Is she the type of secretary who sets her sights on flashy, successful lawyers and then pursues them sexually?"

"What? No she isn't!" roared Harvey.

"Of course, you leap to her defence so valiantly now. She has pursued and won you in the same way, after all."

"Objection, Your Honour," said Anita Gibbs, "leading the witness."

"Sustained. Ms Smith, please refrain from making testimony. I shouldn't have to tell you again that your job is to ask the witness questions," said Judge Cooper.

"My apologies, Your Honour," said Evan. She had made a habit out of these statements the entire trial and she didn't care if the judge was growing tired of her. "Mr Specter, one last question. The defendant maintains that he and Miss Paulsen had a consensual intimate relationship. If she hadn't gone to such creative lengths to cover up this fact, would you be in a relationship with her right now?"

"Yes I would, but Donna would never lie or try to cover anything up. She hasn't done anything like that in her entire life."

"Really? Did Miss Paulsen not destroy an incriminating piece of evidence in order to protect you, Mr Specter?"

Harvey froze. He swallowed hard, his heart beat racing so fast he could feel his blood pulsing in his ears. "That evidence was fraudulent," said Harvey dismissively.

"Irrelevant," snapped Evan. "Miss Paulsen didn't know the nature of the evidence at the time she destroyed it. Why did she destroy it?"

"She thought she was protecting me," said Harvey.

"So, is it possible she would cover up an affair to protect you? You'd already assaulted Mr. Roche. You were on the verge of being suspended from your own firm. Would Miss Paulsen lie to protect you?"

"No, she wouldn't do that. She didn't do that!" shouted Harvey in exasperation while Evan Smith stood haughtily in front of him, smiling at her perceived victory.

"That will be all, Mr Specter."

X

Harvey left the courtroom. He couldn't bear to retake his seat with the team. He'd let Donna down. How had Evan Smith done it? How had he let her?

He sat on a bench outside the courtroom. He was more pissed than he'd been for a while. Not for one second had he thought Donna would lose this case, but now? He was worried sick. Was there enough doubt? Surely there wasn't. He thought back to Donna's testimony and he reminded himself of how powerful it had been. What Evan was doing was desperate. She was scrambling to make a defence when there wasn't one. Would he do the same in her shoes? No. He would never take a case like this.

As he sat he heard the clip clop of high heels coming towards him. He looked up. It was Stella. She said nothing, but her face was creased with anxiety and his stomach lurched.

"Harvey," she said, her eyes watery, "I … erm … I've been called as a witness."

Harvey stiffened as his heart began to race again. "For the defence?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Stella nodded. She looked distressed. "I don't know what … what do they want me for?"

"Hey, don't worry," said Harvey, although he really couldn't be bothered to offer up sympathy. "Just do what you have to do."

"But … will … Donna's attorney. Does she know about Tomas?"

Harvey felt his blood boil. "Yes, Stella, that all came up when Anita Gibbs wanted to call you for our side. We had to tell her why you couldn't do it. I'm sorry."

Stella nodded as she processed the information. "Okay. Well, what's done is done, I'm just going to have to try to do the best I can for everybody. How's things going in there?" she asked.

"Terrible," said Harvey stoically. "Evan Smith is gunning for Donna and she's gunning for me."

Stella sat down next to Harvey, resting her head back against the wall. "Antonio told me it was tough," she said. "I'm so sorry Harvey, I wish …"

"What?"

"I want to help, but I'm worried … I …"

"You're worried?" snapped Harvey as he took to his feet, ready to re-enter the courtroom. "Think about how Donna feels."

X

"The Defence calls Ingrid Lindstrom to the stand."

Julien Roche's Swedish secretary entered the room. She was wearing a green ruffled dress with a brooch at the colour. Her blonde hair was pinned up smartly.

"Miss Lindstrom, how long have you known the defendant?"

"For over five years," said Ingrid.

"And what is your opinion of him?"

"I like him. He's a good boss and he's always been fair. We have a good working relationship."

"Does Julien Roche confide you?"

"Sometimes."

"Did he confide in you about his relationship with Miss Paulsen?"

"He did. He said he was attracted to her and he told me she had kissed him. He had brought her some flowers which I took to her desk for him."

"What happened to the flowers you placed on Miss Paulsen's desk?" said Evan Smith.

"She returned them. I heard that she didn't want Mr Specter to know about their relationship."

"Thank you Miss Lindstrom. That will be all."

Anita Gibbs rose to her feet. Harvey was eager to see how she was going to handle Evan's witnesses.

"Miss Lindstrom," said Anita Gibbs, with a smile which would cut through ice. "Did you ever witness Miss Paulsen and Mr Roche together?"

"No, I didn't."

"Did you witness Miss Paulsen maybe … seeking out Mr Roche in his office or leaving with him for lunch? Did she ever telephone him? Send him e-mails? Speak with him on his cell phone?"

"No," said Ingrid. "I didn't see or hear her do any of those things."

"How many times – in your life – have you spoken to Miss Paulsen?"

"Erm … once."

"Once?" asked Anita, her voice laced with mock surprise. "You spoke to her once when she returned Mr Roche's flowers and you haven't witnessed any behaviour from her – or from Mr Roche – that would indicate they were in a secret relationship?"

Ingrid looked at Evan Smith, it was clear she'd been coached, but it was also clear she wasn't going to lie. "Yes, that is correct."

X

"The Defence calls Stella Bart to the stand."

Harvey and Donna looked behind them as Stella walked into the courtroom. She looked afraid, which was very unusual for the woman who he once referred to as a 'Rottweiler'. As was her ultra-feminine style, Stella was dressed in a turquoise dress which seemed to be custom fitted to her hourglass figure. Her black hair was pinned up with glossy waves framing the translucent skin of her face.

"Miss Bart, can you state your relationship to the defendant, please?" asked Evan Smith.

"He has been my boss for the past nine years," said Stella. "We worked in Paris together before moving to New York."

"And what is your relationship with Harvey Specter?"

Harvey could tell Stella was finding Evan's line of questioning bizarre. "We have been work colleagues for a few months," said Stella with a shrug.

"Were you aware of Mr Specter and Miss Paulsen's relationship?"

Stella glanced over at Harvey and Donna before answering. They both could tell that she didn't want to be there. "I thought that Mr Specter was in love with Miss Paulsen," she replied. "It was my understanding that they weren't in a relationship yet."

"Let me take you back to the week prior to the alleged assault, Miss Bart," said Evan. "When did you first witness friction between Mr Specter and the Defendant?"

Stella exhaled audibly as she thought back to that time. "Mr Specter was angry when he learned that something had happened between Mr Roche and Miss Paulsen. I think it was when he asked her to kiss him. Mr Specter confronted Mr Roche over it."

"I see," said Evan, "and at that point what do you believe happened between the alleged victim and the defendant?"

"I'm not sure anything at all had happened," said Stella. "It was just after Miss Paulsen had returned the flowers he gave her. Mr Specter was angry and Mr Roche was being provocative … teasing him over it."

Harvey twisted his mouth in surprise. He'd assumed Stella would have been prepped by the Defence, but clearly she hadn't. Her testimony wasn't as rehearsed as Ingrid's and she wasn't playing along.

"How did the confrontation end?"

"I told Mr Specter to calm down and move away from the situation. I told him he was being played. He took my advice and he left Mr Roche's office."

Evan twitched nervously before returning to her desk, whispering a conversation to Julien. Harvey turned to Donna. "Stella will do what's right," he said to her. Donna nodded and smiled at him. "I hope so," she said. He'd told Donna about Stella's fears about her ex-husband's secret getting out. Donna hadn't wanted Stella to get involved with the case and she'd asked Anita not to put her in a position to jeopardise her ex's safety. Anita said she'd try, but she hadn't promised.

"But then something else happened, didn't it?" asked Evan as she moved from her desk to cross-examine Stella again. "Can you tell us the series of events which led Mr Specter to assault the defendant?"

"Mr Specter was angry about a deal Mr Roche had made with an old adversary, Daniel Hardman. He confronted him about the case, asking him why he was going out of his way to cause trouble. There was a lot of arguing between a few of us, then Donna was mentioned and Mr Roche said something … I can't remember exactly what … but it was offensive. Then Mr Specter … erm … hit him."

"How many times did he hit the defendant, Miss Bart?"

"A couple of times to his face and to his chest," said Stella. "Max, one of our colleagues, pulled him off and I ordered him out the room."

"Did you think the assault was justified," asked Evan.

"Erm, no, I suppose I didn't," answered Stella truthfully.

"Thank you, Miss Bart. That will be all."

Anita Gibbs shuffled some papers in front of her, then turned behind her to look at Donna and Harvey. She was waiting for a signal. Should she cross-examine Stella or not? Harvey nodded his agreement. He cared about Stella, but not enough to risk Donna's case.

Anita rose from her seat and crossed into the centre of the room. "Miss Bart, you mention you've known Mr Roche for nine years. What do you think of him?"

Stella closed her eyes briefly, steadying herself at Anita's question. Harvey could feel her dilemma from his seat at the back of the court. Tell the truth and her ex-husband's career … maybe his freedom … would be finished. Lie and she'd be committing perjury and threatening Donna's case.

"We don't have a good relationship," said Stella finally.

"Why is that?"

Stella paused again. Harvey could see her chest rise and fall as she breathed heavily. She was afraid.

"May I remind you you're under oath, Miss Bart," said Anita, observing Stella's discomfort. "Why don't you like Mr Roche?"

Harvey watched Stella take a deep breath and steel herself. "We don't gel," she said. "We're different people and we have different styles."

"Really?" asked Anita sarcastically. Harvey hoped with everything he had that Anita wasn't going to go into bitch-mode and destroy Stella on the stand. 'Please don't let her go too far', he thought. "Could you tell us about Mr Roche's reputation? You've worked with him for nine years. How does he conduct himself with women?"

"He has had a few relationships," said Stella. "Many of them while he was married."

"Does he chase women? Does he pursue them?"

"Objection Your Honour," said Evan Smith as she rose to her feet. "Counsel is leading the witness."

"Sustained. Please rephrase your question Miss Gibbs."

"Has Mr Roche ever propositioned you, Miss Bart?"

"He came onto me once. It was a long time ago and I dealt with it," said Stella. Harvey remembered she had told him this.

"Okay, and what about with other women? Did you know a Camille Bernieres?"

"Yeah, I knew Camille," said Stella, "not very well, but I knew her."

"An earlier witness, Mr Conti, suggested that Camille Bernieres left Paris due to Mr Roche's unwanted attentions. Is this true?"

"I believe so," said Stella. Harvey could see Evan whispering into Julien Roche's ear again. He hoped they were feeling the heat.

"Just one more question, Miss Bart. When you heard the rumours relating to Miss Paulsen's relationship with Mr Roche. Given all that you know about Mr Roche's conduct with women. Did you believe that they were having a relationship?"

"No I did not," said Stella firmly. Harvey was taken aback by how quickly and decisively she replied.

"And once you heard that Mr Roche was being charged with the attempted rape of Miss Paulsen, did you believe her story, or his?"

Stella narrowed her eyes and sighed. Her thick black eyelashes hiding the fury in her eyes. She was in the very position she didn't want to be in, but what choice did she have? "I believed Miss Paulsen," she said as the jury gasped. "Without a shadow of a doubt."

"Thank you Miss Bart, you are excused."

Stella rose from her seat, held her head up high and walked out of the room. She didn't look at Harvey or Donna as she left. She'd done what she had to, but she needed to come to terms with the position she'd been forced to be in and that was going to take her a while.

X

It was the end of the day and the court was now adjourned. Harvey and Donna said goodbye to their friends at the steps to the courthouse. Donna was thankful that Louis, Jessica and most of all, Rachel, had sat with her and Harvey for the entire day. She'd needed their support and everybody had given her more than she ever expected them to.

Harvey took her home and cooked dinner. Donna said she wasn't feeling very hungry so he made a light meal of pasta and salad, both of them fiddling with their cutlery as they forced themselves to eat at least most of what he'd cooked. They hadn't talked about the day. There wasn't really anything to say. They both knew how each other was feeling.

They were just about to choose a movie and relax for the night when there was a knock at the door. Harvey answered. It was Anita Gibbs. He invited her in and she strolled into his condo for the first time, "nice place" she said as she greeted Donna who was sitting on the sofa. She looked out through the windows, "wow and great view. Looks like corporate law pays a hell of a lot more than the DA's office," she laughed.

"Why do you think I left?" joked Harvey.

Anita smiled wryly. "Look, I know you both need to relax after today so I'll keep this brief. I don't think Evan Smith wants to put Roche on the stand but she will if she has to and I don't know what to expect if that happens. Anyway, she's contacted me to make a deal. She wanted a suspended sentence on condition of his extradition back to France …"

"What the hell?" yelled Harvey, "that's bullshit! No way are we taking that!"

"You didn't let me finish, Harvey," said Anita. "I agree with you. I'm not considering anything other than a custodial sentence. I told her five years, she's talking three."

"Three years? Three fucking years? One more year than Mike for what he's done? You think that's fair?"

Anita shrugged. "I don't want him on the stand. He's lost his hand and he's been assaulted by you. I'm not afraid to cross-examine him, but you know as well as I do that juries are unpredictable."

"You promised you'd put him away for years. Do you remember that? Now you're bailing on us, just like you did with Mike. You were full of shit then and you're full of shit now."

Donna had been sitting listening to their argument, getting more and more agitated. "Look, stop," she said, interrupting them. "I'm fed up with this. I want him gone and I don't care for how long or under what terms. I want my life back. I'd be happy with three years and him never setting foot in this country again. Can you do that?"

"Donna, he deserves more than …"

"I don't care Harvey. Look, I've been living with this guilt for too long. I know it isn't my fault, but I stabbed him."

"You had no choice. You were fighting for … to …"

"I was stopping him from raping me. And I stopped him. He didn't do it! He tried, but he didn't. He's going to live the rest of his life without his hand and that will remind him of what he's done until the day he dies, and …"

"Donna, I'm not letting you …"

"It's not your choice, Harvey," said Donna, her eyes watering as she pleaded with him. "This happened to me. This happened to my life. And now, I just want it over with."

"I'll take your lead," said Anita. "We go to jury and risk a not guilty verdict, or a not proven technicality. And I'm not saying I'm worried about any of these things happening, because I'm not worried. I think it likely we'd get a guilty verdict, but there's always a chance. Or I put him away for those three years, with a return to France on his release and a lifetime US entry ban."

Donna nodded, but looked at Harvey for reassurance. "I don't know, Donna," he said. "If we go to verdict, he could go down for ten years or more."

"It doesn't matter, Harvey. His life is ruined. Look at us and what we have. We've already won."

Harvey's head cleared as he realised what she meant. It killed him to let him get less time than he was due, but Donna was right. They had their lives to live. Going ahead with this deal would give them their lives back and they would be free of him forever.

They told Anita to accept the deal.


	28. Chapter 28 - Moving On

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 28 – Moving On

Donna and Harvey arrived at court early the next morning. They'd barely spoken since Anita Gibbs had left Harvey's condo the night previous. They were both tired and went straight to bed, but they were also at odds over the deal. Donna just wanted it over with and she didn't want to risk going to verdict. Harvey knew that they'd win and he didn't want to settle.

Before they entered Anita's office, Donna knew she had to talk to him about it. "Harvey, I know you don't agree that I'm doing the right thing here, but do you at least understand why?"

Harvey didn't answer. He stood with his back against the cold tiles of the courthouse hallway, his face flushed and his eyes telling her what his mouth wasn't.

"Harvey, please. You have to talk to me."

"Okay, I don't understand, Donna," said Harvey finally. "You've always told me you have faith in me. When Mike was on trial and I wanted to turn myself in, you said you had faith in me and to go to verdict. I listened to you and you were right. So, I don't understand why you can't have faith in yourself this time."

"It's not like that, Harvey," said Donna gently. She hadn't realised how much her decision had hurt him. "I think we'd win, but I have to live with myself and I have to live with the fact that I hurt him too."

"What?" said Harvey, raising his voice before remembering where he was and leaning in to whisper. "Donna, I still can't believe you're saying this. He got everything he deserved, in fact he got less than he deserved. Losing his hand was not your fault."

"I know it wasn't Harvey, but he has still suffered. Don't you see?" Donna was getting frustrated. She had always been able to make Harvey understand her and she didn't know why this was so different. "Look, what he did was evil, Harvey. It was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. I was so scared and so hurt by him and … but I won. I fought him and I won. I hurt him right back. What he did to me will go away, eventually. There'll come a time when I won't remember the pain of him hitting me or the fear of what he was going to do to me. When I'm in my office and I close my eyes I can still feel him in that room. I can still see how he looked at me and my body recoils and I feel sick. Every time. But, that feeling won't last forever. But he'll never forget. He's going to know what he's done to me for the rest of his life. His career is over. Everyone in his circle will know he lost his hand because he tried to rape a woman."

Harvey listened intently as she explained how she was feeling. It wasn't that he didn't understand her reasoning. He just didn't agree. He wanted Julien Roche behind bars for as long as possible.

"I can go in that room and then I can leave. I'll never have to see him or think about him ever again," she continued, her eyes pleading for his realisation.

"Donna, I accept your decision if this is what you want. I know you're sure … I just … I'd do it differently, that's all."

"Well Harvey as I said last night, this is my life."

"I thought it was our life."

Donna pursed her lips together in frustration. "Don't pull that on me now, Harvey," she said. "You know how I feel about you and you're being unfair."

"Donna, you know if this is what you want then I'll back you, but if you want to be with someone who isn't going to tell you how they feel about a situation, then that isn't me. This is my domain. I know we can get him."

"I know that too," said Donna. "But all I'm asking is that you understand … or at least respect my decision if you don't."

Harvey's face softened. "Donna, I will back you to the ends of the earth, you know that."

"Fine Harvey. Good. Let's get in that room then," she said as she led the way to Anita's office. She could be as stubborn as Harvey if she needed to be. She'd made her decision and she wasn't going to back down.

X

Evan Smith was waiting in the office with Anita Gibbs when they arrived. She already had the papers drawn up. Four years. Anita had managed to get an extra year, telling Evan that this was at least half the sentence he was due. Harvey seemed pleased as he read through the document on Donna's behalf. The silence in the room was unnerving.

"This says four years in a low-security prison. You've got to be kidding!" he said, turning to Anita.

"That's how we got an additional year," she replied.

"You're okay with this?" he asked Donna whose eyes widened at the snappiness of his tone of voice.

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth. His attitude was pissing her off again.

Harvey rolled his eyes and tossed the document down on the desk in front of the Prosecutor.

"Okay, then let's get this bastard behind bars," said Anita choosing not to comment on the fact Harvey was behaving like a prize jerk. She signed the papers, then passed them on to Evan to sign.

"Pleasure doing business with you all," said Evan as she rose from her seat. "Mr Specter, Miss Paulsen," she nodded as she moved to leave the office.

"When you see that bastard makes sure he knows he's got off lightly," shot Harvey at his long-time adversary.

"Oh, I'm sure he knows he's got off lightly, Mr Specter," laughed Evan. "I didn't believe his story for a second."

"What?" exclaimed Donna, "then, why?"

"Because it's my job Miss Paulsen. Innocent or guilty, everyone deserves representation from a good attorney and unfortunately in this instance Mr Roche struck lucky because I'm the best there is."

Evan walked out the room leaving Donna in stunned silence. Not for the first time over the past few weeks was she pleased she wasn't a lawyer.

"This is a good deal," said Anita Gibbs as Harvey and Donna prepared to leave her office. "Four years in prison, then back to France for the rest of his life and you'll never see him again. He'll have 24 hours to report to Danbury."

"He's going to Danbury?" said Harvey in surprise.

Anita smiled. "He is. I hear the inmates there may be inclined to give him a harder time than if I'd sent him to any other low-security prison."

Harvey twisted his mouth into a smile. "Wow, didn't expect that," he said.

"Why not?" asked Anita. "Because I put Mike Ross behind bars? I told you before, Mr Specter. That is my job and I'm not about to start apologising for upholding the law."

"Wouldn't expect anything less," said Harvey.

"That said, I've seen you in a different light these past few weeks. You too, Miss Paulsen. I admire your devotion and your commitment. I see why you protected Mike Ross. I'm not saying I agree, but I can see."

"Thank you for everything you've done," said Donna. "We won't forget."

Anita Gibbs smiled and nodded as she watched them leave.

X

They went straight to the office after leaving the courthouse. Donna felt relieved and she felt like celebrating, but first she had a mountain of work to get through, and so did Harvey. The worst experience of her life was over and for the first time in months she was in a position to put it all behind her and move on.

Harvey didn't have anything to say as the elevator climbed to the 50th floor of their building. Donna decided to leave him. He needed time to come around and pressurising him or confronting him wasn't going to help. This is who he was. He couldn't change and she didn't expect him to.

She smiled as he took hold of her hand in the silence of the elevator. Just the two of them, moving on with the rest of their lives. She caught his eyes and they shared a moment, their eyes locked in realisation that – no matter their disagreement over the outcome – at least it was over.

As they left the elevator they bumped into Louis and Jessica, both dressed for court.

"Donna, Harvey, it's almost 10am. The closing arguments are due to start in half an hour, shouldn't you be at court?" asked Louis.

"Anita Gibbs cut a deal," said Harvey, positively. He smiled at Donna and she smiled back. He was coming around.

Louis and Jessica shared a worried look between them. They had both been sure that Julien Roche would be found guilty, so this had come as a surprise to them. "What did he get?" asked Jessica.

"Four years. Four years at Danbury plus a lifetime ban on ever returning to the US when he's released," said Harvey.

"I see," said Jessica as she took in the situation. Donna knew she'd feel the same way as Harvey. She could tell she was disappointed – deflated even.

"I don't understand," said Louis, his voice high-pitched with agitation. "He should have gotten more than that!"

"It was my decision to accept the deal," said Donna, stepping in. "And I'm happy with the sentence. I just want to get on with things, so if you'll excuse me. I've a pile of work to do."

She walked back to her office a little pissed that Jessica and Louis mirrored Harvey's reaction to the deal. 'Had she done the right thing?' She allowed herself to worry briefly before realising there was little point. What was done was done and no amount of worrying and dwelling on it was going to change things.

X

Things were almost back to normal at Pearson Specter Litt.

Donna was steadily making her way through three separate piles of work on her desk. Documents to file. Research to complete. Meetings to set. Antonio had been replaced weeks ago by an eager freckle-faced girl straight out of college. Her name was Hallie and she was good, but obviously she wasn't 'Donna'. Harvey had been rude to her on a couple of occasions and Donna had had to remind him she was a kid and she was half their age, but he was so used to having things done perfectly for him that he didn't have the patience for a girl who wasn't up to speed. Donna decided to take the hapless kid under her wing and prepare her for life as Harvey's secretary. It was going to be a big task as poor Hallie had all the fight of a kitten, but she wasn't going to give up yet.

Donna's train of thought was interrupted by a knock on her door. It was Stella. She beckoned her to enter with apprehension as she recalled what had happened on the witness stand yesterday. She had been adamant that Stella wasn't to get involved in her case.

"Stella, I'm really sorry … I"

"Hey, please, look I know … I know … and if anyone should be apologising it should be me," said Stella as she took the spare seat just in front of Donna's desk. "I haven't really spoken to you as a friend should have ever since the … ever since what happened. I'm sorry for that … I just …"

"It's okay, really, I know you've looked after Harvey and you've kept him on track and …" she grimaced and widened her eyes as she continued, "… I can imagine what a job that was."

Stella smiled widely. Her cherry-red lips turning upwards as her eyes sparkled.

"So, thank you and thank you for your testimony at the trial. I know it was hard and I'm sorry you had to do it."

Stella held up her hand in protest, "nothing gave me greater pleasure than sticking it to that animal. I should have done it off my own back though. I shouldn't have let the defence force me into it. I wish I'd been a witness for the prosecution."

"It doesn't matter, the end result was the same."

"It matters to me," said Stella with a trace of regret to her voice.

"Stella, you were trying to protect somebody you loved. I get that. I didn't expect you to come through for me in the way you did. I appreciate that so much and you absolutely don't need to apologise to me."

"We're good then?"

"Of course we're good."

"Great. Then what are you doing tonight? Your friend Rachel is back now and I thought all three of us could go out and celebrate. I'd love to get to know her better. I've heard so much about her."

"Ah thanks so much for the offer, Stella," said Donna. "I'd love to go, but I think I need to spend tonight with Harvey. He wasn't happy with the deal and we need to talk things through. You know how it is."

"Yeah, sure I do," said Stella. "Another time then?"

"Absolutely! It's been too long since Harriet Specter and Michelle Ross hit the town!"

"Who?" asked Stella in confusion.

"… a very long story," said Donna, "but it's about time we added Louisa Litt to the team!"

"Eh? You mean me? … and Mr Bean? How dare you!" she laughed as she got the joke. "Make it Anna Conti and you may have a deal."

"You and Antonio?" said Donna, raising her eyebrows.

"And why not?" said Stella with mock coquettishness.

"Oh my god, you're serious!"

"Too bloody right I am have you seen the size … his … you know!"

"Stella, get out of here!" laughed Donna, "you're defiling my day of happy thoughts."

Stella laughed, tossing her glossy hair back as she left the room. Donna smiled as she watched her leave. She'd see Rachel later and firm up plans for a girly night hopefully this week. It was just what they all needed.

X

It was almost 7pm by the time Donna fired down her console, waiting for Harvey to finish work. She was too tired to go back 'home' to cook so she hoped he felt like stopping off somewhere to eat on the way back.

"Yeah, sounds great," said Harvey, his eyes glued to his computer console in front of him.

"How long are you going to be?" she asked impatiently. "I'm absolutely starving."

"Not long," he replied in a half-daze. He locked at his watch – as if that would help – give me 20 minutes.

"Okay, I'm going to the kitchen for a snack. I can't last any longer. I'm invading Louis's bran bar stash, so don't tell him."

"I promise," called Harvey after her as she made her way to the kitchen.

X

The hallways weren't entirely empty as Donna snuck into the partner's kitchen. There were still a few associates dotted around and – probably – most of the partners were still busy in their offices. Things had been looking up for the firm recently and everyone was bringing new clients in, as well as resigning the old.

For a moment Donna contemplated making a coffee, but it was late and she didn't want to be up all night so she poured herself a glass of water instead and went on the hunt for Louis's raspberry bran bars. Louis had been hiding his favourite snack even more carefully than usual as Max Schmidt had confessed a fondness for the bars and had been caught mid-munch on no less than three occasions. Of course, Louis had put this down to deliberate intent on behalf of the taller, better-looking, high-flying financial lawyer. Not only was he stealing Louis's legendary status as Pearson Specter Litt's best figures guy, but he was also stealing the food … the very energy … which sustained him. 'Poor Max unwittingly pissing Louis off again,' laughed Donna to herself as she stumbles on the poorly hidden booty in the cupboard above the microwave.

Donna grabbed a bar, opened it and took a bite. It wasn't the most delicious thing she'd ever tasted, but she could feel it filling a portion of her empty and growling stomach and that's all that mattered.

She took another bite, but felt uneasy. She had her back to the door and she sensed … who? A person watching her. 'Shit' she thought. Caught in the act.

"Look, Louis, I'm sorry for stealing one of your bran bars," she said without turning around, "I'm just absolutely starving and …"

…

She froze.

Her breath left her body.

Her stomach sank to her feet.

Her legs crumbled beneath her as she grabbed onto the kitchen worktops to stop herself from falling.

…

He stood before her just as he had done in her office on that terrible night. His face was dark, his black hair framing his olive skin and his brown eyes filled with hate.

He leaned on the doorframe, his arms folded around his black wool coat. And he said nothing. He just waited. Watching her. Just like before.

…

Donna couldn't speak, her voice bound with fear, her mind racing – telling her to scream, but she couldn't. Her throat was dry, bile grasping at her windpipe as she fell back against the kitchen benches. He moved towards her and she stumbled sideways, around the table, as far away as she could be from him in the tiny room.

"Julien, why? … Why are you here?" she said finally. Her voice croaking as the words left her mouth.

"I thought it would be nice if we spent one last night together before I left."


	29. Chapter 29 - One Last Night

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 29 – One Last Night

" _I thought it would be nice if we spent one last night together before I left."_

…

Donna's whole body froze as she backed herself into the corner of the partner's kitchen, instinctively wrapping her arms around her body. Her heart was beating so fast that she couldn't think or speak. Why? Why had nobody thought he would do this?

"Don't you have anything to say?" asked Julien as he leaned on the doorframe, the indigo suit he'd worn to court yesterday visible under his woollen overcoat.

"Please, just let me go," said Donna, her voice crumbling as her whole body shook with fear. She fought the urge to curl up into a ball in the corner of the room and hide, just the way Harvey had found her in his office weeks ago.

"You want to go? Who's stopping you?" snarled Julien, his eyes not leaving her for a second as he spoke. He was enjoying her distress. "Well? You're not moving? Ah, that must mean you want to talk to me. Okay then, let's talk. Sit down."

Julien pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and sat down. His eyes bore into Donna as she stood frozen before him, her legs trembling and tears filling her eyes.

"SIT DOWN!" he yelled.

Donna jumped and let out a shriek in fright. She steadied her hands and pulled out one of the chairs opposite. She was terrified, but she managed to pull the chair out just far enough to sit down. It was her only choice. She couldn't run. He was seated next to the doorway so she wouldn't be able to get past him.

"This is nice isn't it?" he said. "My last night of freedom and I spend it with you. I understand now. I see why you weren't interested in me. It was because of him, wasn't it?"

Donna didn't respond. Her mind was racing … should she scream? Should she just casually walk away? Should she front him out?

"All that time I wondered why you wouldn't fuck me. It wasn't as if you were all that special. You're not even that beautiful. See, you should have been grateful I was interested in you. I'm a wealthy man, I'm good looking, I'm successful … I've slept with so many women who were better than you in every way. Prettier women, smarter women, sexier women. And then there was you. Someone who hasn't achieved anything of note in her miserable life. How long has it been like that? Were you just waiting to find a man you could live off? Someone who'll give you the status you couldn't get on your own. Yes, I knew this about you from the start. I don't know why I wanted you. You are pathetic really."

Donna didn't flinch at his cold words. She kept her head low, letting his cruelty wash over her. He couldn't hurt her with words, so she hoped words were all he was going to throw at her.

"But I never realised back then that you already had someone you were whoring off," said Julien, trying in vain to solicit a reaction from her. "You walk into this office wearing your fancy dresses and your sexy shoes. All bought by the man who fucks you whenever he feels like it. Poor Harvey. What an idiot he is. You're the same as a dirty whore off the streets. Yes, you're just the same. Your dresses are always low enough, heels always high enough, hair … hmmm … yes I do like your hair. Although, I admit I thought it was dyed that colour to begin with. If I hadn't seen for myself … that night … in your office. Yes, I couldn't have any doubts you were a real redhead after that night, could I?"

Donna jolted to her feet as she realised what he was saying. She clamped her hand to her mouth, fighting with everything she had to stop herself from being sick. He noticed and he laughed. She moved towards the back of the kitchen again, turning her face to the wall. Trying in vain to fight back the tears which were rolling down her cheeks.

"Ah, poor Donna," scoffed Julien, "I'm being mean to you, aren't I? Do you think I'm vulgar?" He laughed as he continued to watch her shrink into the corner of the room. "I don't know why you're cowering like a frightened rabbit. It should be me cowering. Look what you did to me." Julien held up his stump, a clean white bandage replacing his hand and peeping out from under the sleeve of his coat. "Do you think I deserve to look like this?"

Donna shook her head. She didn't know why. She thought it might help.

"Good. I'll take that as an apology," said Julien. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and lighter, placing them down on the kitchen table in front of him the, fumbling with one hand, he lit it and started to smoke. "So, I'll tell you the truth now Donna. I wish I had never come to this godforsaken country of yours. I wish I'd told my brother to go fuck himself when he suggested I take a break from life in Paris, because ever since that night when I first saw you at that party, batting your eyelashes at every man in a suit, walking the way you do, laughing the way you do. Ever since then, I wanted you … and you? You made it your mission to destroy me."

Donna looked at him as if he were mad. What the hell was he talking about?

"Don't look at me like that," he said as he puffed on his cigarette, the kitchen air filling with the aroma of nicotine. "You know what you did. You know how you work the room, drawing attention to yourself. It was never my fault. It isn't even Harvey's fault. You had both of us exactly where you wanted us and you used me to get him. If it had been me you fucked first, maybe he'd be sitting where I am right now, but you knew that too didn't you? You know his temper. If you had chosen me then he'd have come after me."

Donna felt nauseous as she listened to Julien try to justify his actions to her. It was as if he were living in an alternate universe. Did he actually believe this bullshit?

"I've known Harvey for almost thirteen years Julien. It was always him. I didn't need to use anybody."

"At last she speaks!" said Julien with a maniacal glint in his eye, "finally she tells me. You didn't need to use me, so why did you? Thirteen years of watching the great Harvey Specter giving it to dozens of beautiful, younger, smarter, sexier women. Thirteen years of wondering when it was going to be you. His lowly secretary. I suppose I have to hand it to you because you masterminded this whole thing from the start. You played the victim from the start, crying because I made you kiss me and crying because I told you I wanted sex with you. That's how you got him. You played the victim and he fell for it all."

"I was a victim, Julien," spat Donna. 'Time to front him out', she thought. She was tired of being a victim. She was Donna and she needed to act like Donna. "I told you I wasn't interested in you from the beginning, but you took no notice. I told you that we weren't going to happen. I told you I didn't want to sleep with you. And then … that night ... I told you 'no'."

Julien shrugged at her as he continued to puff on his cigarette. Donna thought that the aroma of the pungent smoke must have left the kitchen by now, drifting through the office with the air conditioning. She hoped someone would notice soon. Where the hell was everybody?

"Nobody tells me 'no', Donna," said Julien slyly as he looked at her again. "And if they do then I have to show them what they're missing. In your case, what you were missing was my hands around your neck. How did that feel? Did you like that? What about when I slammed your head into the wall? How was that for you?"

Julien stubbed his cigarette out on the table in front of him and he got up from his seat, moving towards her. Donna turned to the wall again, swallowing hard and getting ready to scream.

"Do you know what my favourite part was, Donna?" he said as he closed in on her. She jumped as she felt her back hit the wall already. "My favourite part was when I almost had you."

He closed the gap between them until his face was inches from hers and she let out a whimper of panic which he lapped up, allowing her anguish to feed his lust for power. "Can you remember Donna? I was holding you face down over your desk and I ripped your underwear off. Mmm … I can still remember how you looked that night. Part of you wanted it. You may not be able to admit it to yourself, but you wanted it, didn't you?"

"No I didn't. I hated you. You hurt me and I hated you. I still hate you!"

Julien smirked his eyes beckoning to the kitchen table. "Well maybe we should see for ourselves. We could always use this table. One last shot. What do you say?"

Donna stood her ground. She had already found her voice. "I say 'no'," she said firmly. "And I say it again … and again … and again!"

Julien's face changed and Donna could read why. Disappointment. Not because she was suddenly going to give him what he wanted, but because he'd lost his power over her. She stared him down until finally he backed away, retaking the seat at the table.

"I'm going to walk away from you now, Julien," she said. "And I think its best you leave before anybody sees you. Good luck for tomorrow."

Donna held her head up high and walked straight past Julien and out through the kitchen door. She could see the darkness in his face as she passed. He had descended into a pit of hate that he was never going to emerge from and he was there because he couldn't accept the fact that this was all down to him.

She walked into the corridor, leaving him behind her.

"Donna, one more thing," he said. She froze, her stomach lurching. What now?

Slowly she turned around and she looked into his eyes. She didn't notice at first. It took about 30 seconds of her watching his face. That evil glint in his eye.

Then she saw and her body reacted.

She shook on her heels as she stumbled backwards, her heart racing so fast that she could feel the blood pumping in her ears. The pain in her chest – the pain of anxiety – coursed through her neck, choking her as she saw.

Julien stood calmly before her.

His hand – his only hand – was holding a gun.


	30. Chapter 30 - Unbreakable

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 30 - Unbreakable

Harvey straightened his back as he added the last touches to a contract he was working on. He hadn't stopped all day, but he'd been doing 'the admin' and that had made the day even longer. Bits and pieces of contracts, figures, reports … all the dull stuff which bored him, but which had to be done. A year ago Mike would have taken care of all of this for him – or Rachel – but now he had to do it himself. They didn't have enough staff, Donna had her own workload and even though Rachel was back now, she was tied up with Jessica who'd taken her under her wing and given her enough cases to last to the end of the month.

He powered down his console and looked at his watch. 7.45. 'Shit. I said I'd be 20 minutes,' he remembered, 'I'm going to be in trouble!' His stomach growled as he put on his jacket, reminding him that Donna was starving and waiting for him. He wondered if she fancied a gourmet burger from the diner on East 54th? He could just eat a burger – not their usual choice – but maybe?

He left his office and ducked into Donna's next door. No sign of her. He remembered she was going to the kitchen on the hunt for one of Louis's raspberry bran bars. 'Hope she hasn't filled up on junk as that means no burger!' he thought as he walked along the corridor to the kitchen. He smiled when he saw her in the hallway – her bright red hair contrasting with a pristine white dress he liked. He loved her in white – and pink, and cream. There was something about those soft feminine colours she often chose to wear that made her even more lovely and 'Donna-like' than the more corporate blacks and greys in her wardrobe.

She had her back to him as he walked towards her and it took him a moment to realise something was wrong. He didn't see the other man standing in front of her to begin with. It didn't register in his mind. He thought she was just having a chat with somebody.

But then he saw.

The man's posture was different. He wasn't the crumpled, broken ghost of a man he'd been in the courtroom over the last few days. He was standing tall and determined, his body stiff, his arm outstretched …

… and a fire exploded within him.

It was instant as if a match had been lit. It burned in his chest and spread fast through his veins, his face hot as the adrenalin charged wildly around his body. He didn't panic. He was focused and he was resolute. His brain took over his body and he started to jog down the corridor towards them.

He noticed first. He didn't lower his arm – the one holding the gun. But he looked at him and smiled that dark, evil smile of his. Harvey wasn't thinking about himself. He just had to get to her.

Donna noticed the change in Julien's expression and she turned around. Harvey's heart broke as he saw her terrified appearance, the streaks of black mascara mixed with the wetness of her tears stained her face. "Harvey, no!" she called as she held her hands out in front of her. "No! Go back!"

He heard her pleas, but they didn't register. He ran forward and took hold of her arm, pulling her behind him, shielding her with his own body. His eyes bore into Julien's. Both men staring at one another with nothing but hate. Harvey hadn't wanted to hurt anybody as much as he wanted to hurt this man. 'What do you do when someone pulls out a gun?' He'd been bullshitting himself with that mantra of his. There weren't 146 different choices. Right now, he couldn't think of any.

"What the fucking hell do you think you're doing?" roared Harvey, "are you mad? You want the rest of your life in jail as opposed to four measly fucking years?"

"Ah isn't this romantic?" said Julien. "The brave knight comes to the rescue." He laughed sardonically as he watched Harvey's face flush with rage, his fists in balls as he stared him down. His body guarding Donna from harm.

Harvey's eyes steeled with the hatred that was building up inside him. He didn't know how to play this. He just made sure his body covered hers. He reached behind him and took hold of her hand. It was cold and clammy and trembling, so he squeezed it tight. He wasn't going to let anything happen to her. Not again.

His vision stirred as he stood in front of Julien. Figures behind him, moving colours. He closed his eyes and his heart sank, willing them to see and retreat. He heard their voices and so did Julien.

"Ah, Harvey, you're still here …."

Jessica's voice trailed off into oblivion as she registered the scene in front of her. Rachel froze. Instinctively both women grabbed onto each other. Jessica's eyes searched Harvey's, silently asking him what was going on, but she already knew.

"Looks like we're going to have a party, ladies, after you," said Julien as he beckoned Jessica and Rachel forward with the gun. "Now all of you, walk forward. Let's all have a meeting in Harvey's office. There's been something on my mind for weeks and I'm glad you're all here to listen."

X

They entered the room, all four of them looking at each other with the same expression on their faces. Harvey felt an overwhelming responsibility to sort this out. Close it. Get it over with. They'd all be looking to him.

Julien closed the door behind him, looking out through the glass walls of Harvey's office to see if anyone else was around. Then he turned and told them all to sit. Nobody said anything. Harvey sat down in the armchair and the three women sat on the sofa. He decided to wait. He'd wait until Julien let his guard down. He'd wait for the perfect opportunity. Then he'd beat the shit out of him.

"Okay everybody," said Julien as he picked up a desk chair and brought it around to the seating area of Harvey's office, placing it down in front of them all. "I'll level with you here. This isn't what I planned for this evening. Let's just say … I had an idea of what I wanted to do before I went to my new home tomorrow …" he looked at Donna suggestively as he said 'what I wanted to do,' and Harvey forced his feet to the ground, stopping himself from lunging at him. "… but … well this is an unexpected delight I must say."

Julien turned to look at Rachel, who was sitting in the middle of Donna and Jessica. This was the first time they'd met. "Who the hell are you?" he said nonchalantly.

Rachel was holding herself together, although Harvey could see the fear in her eyes. "Rachel Zane," she said firmly, disguising her anxiety well.

"Rachel Zane …?" said Julien inquisitively. "Ah, Mike Ross's unfortunate bride-to-be. Well, Mademoiselle Zane it appears that you are quite unlucky to choose this week to return to Pearson Specter Litt." He looked at her intently and Harvey could see she was uncomfortable as she looked away from him, her eyes ducking under her long eyelashes. "It's a shame you weren't here at the start. I might have chosen you instead of that bitch."

Harvey jerked forwards, his backbone forcing him into action, but his brain telling him to hold off. 'Just wait'. His mind had formulated a plan, but now was not the time. He had to make things last just a bit longer.

Rachel took hold of Donna's hand and gripped it tightly. She needed to stay strong for her friend. They all knew that Julien had come back for Donna.

"Ah, isn't that sweet?" laughed Julien, "this is too funny. Tres drole et tres doux. La scene touchante! Ah … Look at how much you care for each other. Are we going to get some nice girl on girl action now?"

Jessica rolled her eyes in disgust at the exchange as Julien laughed. She was sitting furthest away from Harvey, her stiff, silvery grey dress-suit forcing her to sit upright and as elegant and poised as always. She cleared her throat to speak. "Julien. What do you want?" she said steadily and authoritatively.

Julien stood up and took off his overcoat, discarding it to the floor. He undid the buttons of his indigo suit jacket as he sat back down, his eyes looking coolly at Jessica. "What do I want?" he asked irreverently, before looking over at Donna. "I want her, I want to finish what I started." He leaned forward in his seat, his eyes fixed intently on Donna's eyes. She didn't look away. She was trying hard not to let him break her. "In fact I've thought of nothing else since that night when I almost had her. Oh, I know, I know what you're all thinking … you all heard her story in court. You saw the tears, you heard the crying …" he forced his face into a mocking grimace as he pretended to dab non-existent tears from his eyes. "… but it wasn't like that really. Yeah, sure, it got a bit rough in there, didn't it? But that is how she wanted it. Rough. I understood that right away. I like it rough too. That is how I imagine it will be with her again … rough … ferocious."

"Julien, look at me," said Jessica. Harvey saw she was trying to reason with him. He decided to let her try. This was what she was good at and she had a much cooler head on her shoulders than anyone else in the room. "That just isn't going to happen, because we won't allow it," she said with a scolding, almost patronising demeanour. "You're due to be in prison tomorrow. You got four years which was less than your crimes warranted. Anybody finds out that you barged into my firm with a gun and they're going to throw away the goddamn key. You'll be spending the rest of your life in prison and it won't be a cushy number like Danbury. It's going to be the sort of prison whose inmates don't take kindly to rapists. Now you stand up and walk your ass out of here and be thankful you only got those four years because I promise you this … you start anything else here, tonight, and I'll personally make sure you never get out of jail."

The room fell silent as the four of them waited for Julien's reaction. He placed the gun in his lap and slowly, placed his hand upon his stump and started to 'clap'. "Very good," he said. "And I mean 'very' good. I've always liked you Jessica, did you know that? You're ballsy and you talk straight. However, you've forgot one small little thing." He picked up the gun again, running his one hand over the cold black metal. "I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit what happens to me. Do you think that makes me dangerous? If I don't care about myself, then I'm not afraid of your threats. A lifetime in prison doesn't worry me. Four years is the same as a lifetime and it will mean death to me. I will kill myself if I have to spend a day in there, so if I'm going to go, I may as well get what I want first and like I said before. I want 'her'."

"Well you're not having her," said Jessica.

Julien levelled the gun, pointing it between the three women. "I think this decides what I'm going to have. I could have all three of you, but I'm not a greedy man. I'll just have her. She's the reason I lost my hand and the reason I'm going to prison, so it's the least she could do for me … I made her a proposal once. I gave her a key to my apartment and told her all her troubles would be over if she came and made love to me." He turned to face Donna. "Do I need to ask you again?"

Donna looked at Julien and opened her mouth. Harvey could hear her voice croak beside him. Rachel strengthened her grip protectively on Donna's arm.

"What did you say, I didn't quite hear you?" asked Julien, his hand raised to his ear, mocking her distress.

"Julien, you heard Jessica," said Harvey finally making his move. He'd been taking his time to speak, thinking things through, trying to find an angle that would get them all out of this nightmare. Enough time had lapsed since he'd spotted Louis outside his office. He knew nobody else had seen him. He was the only one facing the glass walls. He trusted Louis had done the right thing so now it was time to show his hand.

"I'm not going to talk to you about prison because you know your totally undeserved deal was over the second you walked in here with a gun. You're here for revenge, plain and simple. I get that. But it's not going to happen." Harvey looked Julien straight in the eye as he spoke calmly and confidently. "You're not doing anything to Donna because I won't let you and you're running out of time. While we've been talking you were spotted in here. You knew we weren't the only four people still at the firm tonight and you let your guard down, which was stupid. The police will be here any second by my calculations, so you've got one last chance and I'll even forgo beating the fucking shit out of you myself if you do it." Harvey straightened his jacket and looked over at Donna, his dark brown eyes smiling encouragingly at her while his face remained serious. His eyes told her he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to her ever again. He turned back to Julien noticing the look on his face. He'd been rattled. 'Play the man, not the odds'. They were in deep shit, but Harvey still had a chance to twist it around. "Just run," he said resignedly. "The game is over here and you have minutes to get out before the cops arrive … so run. You let the police find you here with that gun and your life is over. And that's if they don't shoot you dead on the spot."

Harvey could tell Julien's brain was ticking over as they waited. He shared a knowing look with Jessica. She knew he was waiting to make his move. "One last proposal," said Julien finally.

He stood up and moved to the left, extending his arm and pointing the gun at Harvey.

"Come to me now," he said to Donna. "Come to me and tell me you want me or I'll kill him."

Donna burst into tears, "no, please," she said. Rachel clung to her, one hand over her mouth as she too fought back her own tears. Jessica instinctively sank backwards into the sofa and shut her eyes, silently praying to anybody who would listen.

"I still can't hear you," he said.

*BANG*

The gun went off and all three women screamed in terror. Harvey felt a blast of pain in his shoulder as the bullet pierced his skin, seared his flesh and exploded into his collar bone. His arm shot to his shoulder protectively as he convulsed in pain, his body aching and the wetness under his jacket already running down his body.

Donna was on her knees beside him, tears flooding her face, "Harvey, please, please," she cried as she clung to him her face wrenched with terror. Rachel sobbed behind her, wrapping her arms around her shoulder, still protecting her friend from him.

"The next bullet goes through his skull," said Julien as he stood over Harvey, holding the gun to his head.

'Is this it?' thought Harvey. 'Is this how it ends?" Harvey grimaced as he forced the pain in his shoulder out of his mind. He had to focus. He looked into Donna's eyes not knowing what to do. 'I love you' she mouthed to him. His eyes were lost. He had failed to protect her again.

"I'll do it," she said with a gulp, "I'll let you do it, just don't hurt him."

"The hell you will," yelled Harvey, clutching his shoulder and wincing as even the use of his voice pulled at his wound.

"It doesn't matter," she sobbed as she rose to her feet. "It doesn't matter… it's just … it'll be over with." Her body convulsed as she walked over to Julien in defeat, her cries shattering the silence of the room. Jessica and Rachel were horrified, but frozen to their seat. They couldn't help and it was killing both of them.

Harvey took to his feet after her, stumbling as the pain in his shoulder intensified with his movement. "This is not happening!"

Julien pushed Donna face down onto Harvey's desk with his stump – his good hand still clinging onto the gun, pointing it into the room. "As exciting as an audience might be, I don't think I need it, so get out," he said forcibly, gesturing to Jessica and Rachel. Despite the gun in his hand both women were reluctant to go. Rachel broke down, covering her face with her hands. Jessica – usually so calm and in charge – started to crack, her face crumpled with horror as she watched the events unfold. "Get out of here, all three of you!" he screamed as he placed the gun down on Harvey's desk. He was running out of time. He started fumbling with his belt as Jessica dragged a protesting but completely devastated Rachel out of the room.

And that was Julien's error.

The moment Harvey had been waiting for.

The second he placed the gun down on the desk Harvey had his chance. Seconds later he was on him. Lunging at him, swinging his fists at his body. Julien scrambled to his feet, his arm reaching desperately for the gun as Harvey tossed him to the floor and drove the fist of his good arm into Julien's face. He was badly injured but he easily got the better of Julien.

Screaming and panting for breath, Donna picked up the gun and pointed it. She had an award-winning aim and she'd use it if she had to. No way was Julien getting it back.

Harvey had never felt so much hatred in his life as adrenalin consumed him. Revenge was the best revenge – the only revenge – and Harvey swung blow after blow repeatedly into Julien's face and chest. Julien tried to swing back and took aim at Harvey's hurt shoulder, but the pain was nothing compared to the unstoppable force of Harvey's hate which was directed towards him. The man had hurt Donna. His Donna. His sweet, gentle, perfect, beautiful Donna. It was as if all the pain of the last few months had suddenly hit him and he let it all out.

"Harvey, that's enough!" shouted Donna as the fear of him killing Julien suddenly sprang into her mind. It was as if he were possessed. He had lost control, his senses replaced by vengeance.

Moments later she was startled when a team of SWAT officers, all armed, and clothed in black uniforms stormed into the office.

"Ma'am please put down the weapon," yelled one of the armoured officers. Donna jumped with fright as she realised she was still holding the gun and she dropped it to the ground. "Are you hurt ma'am?" said the officer. Donna cried with relief as she realised it was over. She fell to the ground, her body overcome with heavy, heartfelt sobs.

Another officer was already pulling Harvey off Julien. "We'll need an ambulance," the officer called as he noticed the entirety of Harvey's white shirt was now bright red with blood. Another officer then approached Julien's lifeless body, "his pulse is faint," he said after searching his wrist for a few moments, but nobody cared. Harvey fell back against the wall, panting for breath and fighting to stay conscious. He held his scraped, cut and bruised fists as he searched the room for Donna. He needed to hold her.

He saw her huddled on the floor, an officer trying to help her to her feet and he started to crawl towards her. "Sir you need to stay still, please wait for an ambulance." But he wasn't listening. He fought the blackness to reach her then he fell back onto the floor, exhausted, drained and losing blood. Donna sobbed his name as she wrapped her arms around him. It was over, but she was scared. He was losing consciousness fast. A female SWAT officer ripped open Harvey's shirt and start applying pressure to his wound using her own jacket. "Paramedics will be hear in a moment," she said. "I'm applying pressure to stop the blood flow, don't worry. It's a shoulder wound, no major organs. He'll be okay."

Harvey saw Donna's petrified face nod weakly at the officer before he finally succumbed to the blackness.


	31. Chapter 31 - Girl Friday

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 31 – Girl Friday

Ray had taken all four of them straight to Bellevue Hospital.

Donna was in shock, unable to think or speak about what had happened. It was as if her mind had shut down and all she could see was lights and colours. Moving images flashing around her as she sat in the back of the car in between Rachel and Louis, with Jessica in the front. It was dark outside. Nobody spoke inside. Nobody could think of anything to say.

The car took only minutes to arrive at the hospital, but the minutes seemed like hours. Donna looked down at the smears of pink and red on her white dress. Harvey's blood. She ran her hands over the stains which were still damp in part and she sank her fingers into the material, feeling the wetness, watching as her fingertips turned crimson. It was as if she were feeling him, holding him, being close to him.

Rachel noticed what she was doing and she whispered reassuringly into her ear. "He'll be okay," she said. "He has to be okay."

Donna couldn't answer her.

They all got out of the car and walked through the loud halls of the hospital towards the ER room. Jessica approached a receptionist who told her that Harvey had been taken straight to surgery. And Julien? He was at another hospital and he'd be going straight onto jail from there. Jessica told them another trial would have to be set for him and she assured them all that he'd never get out of jail.

Two members of the SWAT team had accompanied Harvey in the ambulance and they handed over to two police detectives who had just arrived on the scene. A male police detective in his fifties caught up to speed with the SWAT team, while the other, a female detective around Donna's age, ushered them all into a side room where they could have some privacy as they waited for news.

The small room had pink walls, a huge potted floor plant and was lined with a bank of peach sofas. The police detective, an attractive woman with bright blue eyes and dark blonde hair, introduced herself as Lisa Earle and said her partner was Detective Frank Ryan. "I know you're all in shock but, please sit down and we'll do all we can to help you." Detective Earle gestured for them to sit and noticed Rachel helping Donna, who was still unresponsive.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked as she noticed the blood on Donna's dress. Donna looked down at her hands which were stained too and she instinctively started rubbing at her fingers. The detective looked around to the others for assistance.

"This has hit her very hard," said Jessica. "She is Harvey's girlfriend."

Detective Earle nodded in realisation. She stepped forward and took hold of Donna's arm. "Please, sit down, we'll get someone to come and see you."

Donna did as the detective asked, but her brain was still disconnected to everything around her. She felt cold. Her body felt shivery but she couldn't speak or gesture for help. She couldn't make the words come out. She allowed Rachel to hold her and they both just sat together. Waiting.

Louis stood in the corner of the room, not knowing what to do for the best. He looked to Jessica but she was paralysed too. She couldn't believe this had happened.

In time, Detective Ryan entered the room looking around at everyone, mentally matching the faces with the names and the events the SWAT team had given him. He took Detective Earle outside for a moment, presumably to tell her what he knew, and they were all left in silence.

"I'm sorry," said Louis as soon as they were alone. "I should have done something. I could have done more." His face crumpled as he spoke, tears falling freely down his face.

"Louis, you did everything you could. If you hadn't called the police god knows where we'd all be," said Jessica knowing that it was Donna who he'd truly saved.

Louis started pacing the room. "But you were all in there with him and … and I … knew and I should have come in … but …"

"Louis, pull yourself together. I've already said you did all you could and I don't want to hear anymore," said Jessica. She stood up and walked to where Louis was standing, placing her hands on his arms to comfort him. "Louis look at me," she said trying to get him to focus. "We've all been through a nightmare situation, but we all have to say strong. Julien came back for Donna. He tried to rape her again. If you hadn't called the police as quickly as you did and got the right message across, then he would have done it."

Louis's heart broke as he heard Jessica's news. He hadn't realised that was what was happening inside the office. He'd heard the gunshot. But he'd been told to stay where he was by the police. For five minutes, until Jessica has found him and told him the news, he hadn't known if anybody had been hurt and he'd been terrified. Then they'd all got into the car and dashed to the hospital. Nobody had spoken since.

"Do you understand, Louis," said Jessica warmly. "You saved her. You saved us all."

Louis nodded and swallowed hard. He didn't feel like a hero, but for once in his life he'd somehow managed to do the right thing, in the right order, without screwing it up. But he kept thinking of Harvey. His friend. The person he'd had so much conflict with, but who he looked up to so much. 'Had he done all he could?'

Detective Earle came back in with a doctor, a young black woman in her twenties. "Donna, this is Dr. Eva Harding," said Detective Earle, "she's just going to make sure you're okay. Can you go with her to an exam room?"

Donna heard the detective's words but she couldn't respond. It was as if she was speaking to somebody else, or as if she was remembering a past conversation instead of one in the present. She stared at her hands, still touching the blood stains.

Dr. Harding hunkered down in front of her. "Donna, it's okay," she said softly, "you're safe now." She reached out and touched Donna's hand, breaking her trance. Donna flinched and gasped as if she'd been underwater. Recoiling from the doctor's touch. "Who are you?" she said frantically. "Where am I?"

Rachel held onto her and rubbed her back, gently shushing her while the doctor tried again. "Donna, I'm Dr. Harding, you're at Bellevue Hospital and you've suffered a terrible shock. Can you remember?"

Donna stared at the doctor as everything came rushing back to her. Julien. The gun. His desk. The Bang. Harvey. She struggled to breath. She tried but she couldn't. And she felt cold. Her skin was freezing and she was shivering uncontrollably. A pain in her chest pushed out all of the air that was inside her and she shook. Her whole body convulsed, trembling, gasping and panting as the doctor rushed towards her, calling for Detective Earle to get help.

"Clear the seats," shouted the doctor as she took hold of Donna and lay her down. Within seconds two nurses entered the room, "she's in shock," said Dr. Harding. "I need a ventilator and blankets."

"Donna, we're going to get you warmed up in a minute, but for now I want you to concentrate on breathing and try really hard to take a deep breath as I count, 1, 2, 3, 4 …"

Louis, Jessica and Rachel all watched, feeling useless. Rachel especially wished she could do something. She'd chosen today to return to the office and some would say that had been the worst day imaginable, but Rachel was so glad she'd been there. She'd been away – away from her second family – for far too long.

A nurse appeared in the doorway carrying a blanket and pushing a machine into the room. "Just the blanket," said Dr. Harding to the nurse as she continued counting with Donna. The nurse placed the thick grey blanket over her while the doctor held Donna's wrist, feeling her pulse. "I think we're fine," she said and the nurse left.

Moments later, Donna felt her body relax, but the events of the evening became clearer in her mind and she started to sob. "That's fine, that's good," said Dr. Harding encouragingly, "just let it all out." She glanced over to the others. "Who's she closest to?" Rachel stepped forward, her beautiful dark eyes filled with concern. "She'll be okay. She just needs someone to sit with her. Just hold her and watch her breathing. Call me back if it happens again." Rachel nodded.

After Dr. Harding left the room the male police detective asked Louis and Jessica if they were able to make a statement now and they both nodded. Louis left the room to give his statement to Det. Ryan, while Det. Earle took Jessica to one side.

"Can you tell me how this all started?" asked the detective.

"The guy who did this, Julien Roche, was due to start a prison sentence for attempted rape tomorrow morning," said Jessica, her tone as hushed as possible so as not to disturb Donna and Rachel.

"And the victim, was …" Detective Earle gestured with her eyes in Donna's direction.

Jessica nodded. "That is correct," she said. "We all work together. Louis, Harvey and I are the partners of a law firm. Rachel is a new associate, Donna a paralegal. Julien Roche's firm invested in ours a few months back and he had been working alongside us."

Detective Earle scribbled everything Jessica was telling her down in shorthand in a notebook. "Was there a deal?" she asked. "Is that how he had time to do this?"

"Yes, we spent all day yesterday in court. They settled for four years in Danbury. We knew he should have gotten more, but Donna wanted to settle, so the DA agreed."

"Do you know why ..?"

"Not really. I think she just wanted it to be over and she thought four years was enough. It was her decision and we all supported it."

"Okay, so tonight. Can you run me through what you know?"

"I was working in my office with Rachel. She'd just returned to work today after finishing her exams at Columbia and we'd been chatting about a few cases. It was late. Just before 8.00pm. We were just about to go home, but we thought we'd go talk to Harvey before we left, no reason really. Just to tell him what I was planning for Rachel."

Jessica paused as Detective Earle frantically scribbled away in her book. "I'm good, continue," she said.

"We walked along the corridor and Julien was in front of us pointing a gun at Harvey who looked to be shielding Donna from him. Julien noticed us straight away then told all four of us to go to Harvey's office."

"You all went?"

"Yes, we didn't hesitate. I … we … all knew he'd come for Donna," Jessica said, lowering her voice to a whisper. She looked over to the seats. Donna was huddled into Rachel's lap, allowing her friend to stroke her hair. She had her eyes closed, but she could tell by her strained expression that she wasn't anywhere near close to falling asleep.

"And inside the office?"

"It was horrible. He was vile. He was threatening Donna, telling her he wanted to finish what they started weeks ago when he had beat her and tried to rape her. I was terrified. I tried to reason with him but … well he was finished. He didn't seem to care what happened to him – whether he did four years or life – he was just totally focused on getting her before he went."

Detective Earle looked over in Donna's direction and her face creased with sympathy. "Poor woman," she said.

"She held it together for as long as she could, but then Harvey stepped in. He'd been waiting and I knew he'd try to tackle him at some point. He revealed that Louis had seen us and that the police would be here any minute. He told him he only had time to run and I thought he would, you know. Goddamn it, why didn't he? Why didn't he just get out that room and run?" Jessica shook her head in disbelief as she recalled the events of the night. "There was no way Harvey was going to let him hurt Donna. I've known that man for twenty years and he'd do anything he could for her. Anything."

Jessica's voice broke off for a moment. Her eyes glazed over, but she inhaled deeply and managed to compose herself. "Julien pointed the gun at Harvey and told Donna if she didn't come to him he'd kill him … then … I don't know … the gun just went off. He shot him in his shoulder and Jesus Christ we all panicked. All of us. I couldn't think … I couldn't … he was holding the gun at Harvey's head saying he'd kill him next time, so she … she … she went over to him and told him he could have her. Do what he wanted to her. As long as he didn't kill Harvey."

Detective Earle noticed Jessica's voice breaking, and she smiled reassuringly at her.

"I didn't see anything after that. Julien ordered us to leave the room so it was just him and Donna. Rachel was in a bad way. Her and Donna are really close and we both … Jesus … we both knew what he was going to do and I could hear Donna … I'll never forget that sound of her crying. And then … Harvey I just wanted to help him. But Julien screamed at us to get out so I had to go. There was nothing I could do, he was waving a gun at us and god I knew he'd use it, so I focused on getting Rachel out of there. When we were out we just ran … just ran to find help … and then the SWAT team were there. They told us to stay back and that was that. We waited back and Louis found us. It was a few minutes and I was waiting to hear gunshots, but nothing came."

"Thank you so much," said Detective Earle. "That's all we need for now. I'll speak to Rachel when I get a chance, but I'll leave Donna until tomorrow at least."

"What happens now?"

"Julien Roche is in Royal. Harvey beat up really bad apparently, but he'll survive. He'll be sent to prison as soon as he's fit to be moved and I suppose there'll be another trial." Detective Earle moved towards the door, "I'm going to wait outside. Give you all some time together."

Jessica nodded. "Thank you, Detective."

As soon as they were alone, Jessica kicked off her heels and moved over to where Rachel was still softly stroking Donna's red hair. In a touching move that took Rachel by surprise, Jessica carefully pulled the blanket over Donna's shoulder and tucked it under her chin. "I told him we weren't going to let him do anything to you," she said, "and I goddamn meant it."

X

Twenty minutes later Louis entered the room with a bag. He took in the scene of the three women all sitting together quietly. It was so different to anything Louis had ever encountered before. Jessica, usually so in control of every situation, was now someone who didn't know what to do for the best. As leader she needed to assume command, but was it her place here? Then there was Rachel. He'd missed Rachel too for the past few months and it seemed strange to have her back now. She'd said the least since all this happened, but the strength of her silence meant she was completely focussed on being there for her friend, and for all of them. Then there was Donna. His best friend. The most lively, gregarious, vivacious woman he knew. How was it possible that she gone through so much in such a short space of time? She was strong, but was she strong enough to be able to reclaim the spirit she had always had as Harvey's Girl Friday. God, he hated Julien Roche so much. He'd had daydreams of bursting into Harvey's office, wrestling the gun from him and shooting him dead. He wished he was dead. He wished Harvey had beat him to death.

Louis popped the bag down on the floor. "Ray went back to your … I mean Harvey's condo and got you some things. He thought you could do with a change of clothes," said Louis thoughtfully. Why did she have to be wearing white? All that blood against any other colour wouldn't look half as bad.

Donna moved to sit up and Rachel helped her. "Thank you, I … when will we know?" she said.

"Harvey's still in surgery," said Louis. "Don't worry, he'll be fine. He has to be."

"Why does he have to be?" said Donna, making them all feel uncomfortable. "People die all the time. You don't know he's not going to die."

Rachel moved closer to her, "Donna, please, you have to stop worrying, why don't we go and get you cleaned up."

"Don't you understand? I don't want to get cleaned up. I just want … I just want Harvey. What am I going to do without him?"

"Donna, we know you're scared and believe me we're all scared too, but this isn't going to do you any good," said Jessica. "Why don't I go and see if they know anything?" She didn't wait for an answer before leaving the room.

"You know the first time I met you and Harvey it was just outside the elevators of Pearson Hardman, do you remember?" asked Louis, trying to divert Donna's attention to happier times.

Donna nodded. Of course she remembered. "I thought you were a dick," she said with humour, making Rachel laugh.

"I was more of an asshole than a dick back then," quipped Louis, "but anyway, there was Harvey Specter, flash suit, smart hair and this amazing looking girl on his arm. First day as an associate. I hated him already, but you? There was something about you?"

Donna's eyes smiled as she remembered too. "You were pissed," she said.

"Damn straight I was pissed. He'd been there one day and he had his own secretary! How the hell had he managed that? And not some idiot spotty kid either … no, he had you. I had to wait years to get Jessica to agree to let me have Norma and for all of those years I seethed." Louis twisted his face in disgust at the memory of his dearly departed battle-axe, Norma, but it was all for show. He missed Norma and he'd have her back in a flash if he could.

"I didn't know this story," laughed Rachel.

"Yeah, that's how it happened," laughed Louis. "I went up to Harvey and asked him if you were his girlfriend and you said …"

"I'm his Girl Friday," remembered Donna.

Louis smiled, "and I said 'associates don't get their own secretaries' and Harvey said 'I'm not like other associates and she's not like other secretaries'." Louis folded his hands in front of him, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. "He thought he was great. He was so goddamn cocky. He teased the shit out of me from day one. I just looked at him and said 'bullshit' and then you …" he paused and laughed. "You came out with this list of stuff …"

"You wear lifts in your shoes, you need braces but you don't have the balls, you have a cat who you love more than it loves you. What that it?"

"Yeah, that was it. The Donna stuff. I was totally freaked out." He swatted the wetness off his face, but his eyes were red around the rim. "I can't wait to have that Donna back … you've been through so much and … and we need Harvey back too. It's going to be okay. I know it is. He won't let you go, not like this. Not after thirteen years."

"Thank you Louis," said Donna. Her voice shook as she spoke but she felt better. Louis was right. It wasn't going to end like this.

X

A few moments later Jessica entered the room with a doctor.

All three of them froze. Donna's stomach lurched as she searched the man's face for answers. She'd know if he was dead. She'd know immediately and she was frightened to let her intuition connect with him.

"Hi there, I'm Doctor Apperley," said the man, his black eyes and dark face filled with compassion.

Donna scanned him. She thought it was okay, but … "Is he …?" she stammered in fear.

"He's fine at the moment," said Dr. Apperley as the four of them breathed a sigh of relief, "but he is in a critical condition. The bullet severed an artery in his shoulder and we've worked for the past hour trying to repair it. We've managed, but he's lost a hell of a lot of blood. We're transfusing him at the moment and he's in ICU."

They all took in the news steadily.

"Is he awake?" asked Jessica, "can we see him?"

"I'm afraid not," said Dr. Apperley. "He's heavily sedated and we've had to medicate him to keep him asleep. He's not ready to be woken yet."

"Can I see him?" asked Donna. "I won't speak to him or do anything … please … I just want to see him."

Dr. Apperley took in her pleas. He only knew part of his patient's story. He knew there'd been an armed gunman in the offices and that Harvey had been shot defending his girlfriend. He realised that Donna was the woman involved and he understood why she was so desperate to see him.

"We'd normally say no, but given the circumstances I think we can make an exception," said Dr. Apperley. "I'll get Dr. Harding to take you down. I'm on call and I have another patient to see, but Dr. Harding will look after you."

"Thank you," said Donna before Dr. Apperley left the room.

"He said he'd be fine, didn't he?" asked Donna, making sure they all heard the same news she did.

Rachel and Louis both gushed, "yes, sure he did," and "I knew he'd be okay, what did I tell you?"

Jessica looked more serious. "I'm sure he'll be fine, but we're not out of the woods yet," she said. She had buried her own grief. Harvey was the closest thing she had to a friend, but he meant just as much to everyone else and more to Donna. She had to put their feelings before her own.

Dr. Harding entered the room. "Are you ready?" she asked.

Donna stood and straightened her dress. It looked awful. She wished she'd changed her clothes now. She left the room and followed Dr. Harding down the echo-y corridor, the clip-clop sound of her Louboutins mixed with the shuffle of the doctor's practical work shoes.

The turned left, then right, and the walls changed colour from pink to blue as they ventured further into the hospital. Soon they came upon a short corridor lined with a bank of wide windows to the right. Donna looked in and spied beds, blinking lights and all manner of machinery.

There were people in some rooms, others were empty.

Then Dr. Harding stopped in the centre and smiled anxiously. "He's in here, you can't go inside, but you can watch him from here."

Donna stared into the room and her heart broke.

Harvey was lying in a bed, his beautiful olive skin visible above the blankets and his shoulder bandaged in white. The bed was surrounded by a series of metal machines all lined with digital displays and several buttons. There was a long tube into his mouth and wires fixed to his chest and his hands. On one side there was a drip feeding him with fluids. On the other side a bag of dark red blood hung over him on a wire, dripping into him through a tube in his arm.

Donna gasped and brought her hand to her mouth.

Dr. Harding caught her shock, "don't worry," she said. "It always looks much worse than it is. All of the tubes and machines are there to help him. He's getting the best possible care. I'm sure he'll be up and about in no time, fighting cases in court."

"Oh Harvey doesn't go to court," said Donna.

"Doesn't he?" said the doctor quizzically.

"No, he's a closer. He's the best closer in the city."

Dr. Harding smiled, not really knowing what a closer was, and left her side for a moment. She returned with a seat which she placed in front of the window of the ICU unit. "Thought this might be useful," she said.

Donna thanked her and sat down in the chair, resting her head on the glass of the window.

She stayed there for four hours.

She'd never leave him again.


	32. Chapter 32 - Final Proposal

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 32 – Final Proposal

She woke with a start as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

'Shit, how?' She'd manoeuvred the chair next to the window of the ICU and, somehow, she'd managed to fall asleep. Her neck cricked like a corkscrew as she unwound the knots slowly, simultaneously rubbing at her cheek which had been sandwiched up against the wall. A long, window-frame-shaped groove visible on the right hand side of her face. She looked behind her and was met by the smiling face of Dr. Harding.

"How long have I been asleep," she said.

"I don't know, but you've been down her for four hours. Your friends said they'd be back in the morning … erm … all except the bald guy. He's sleeping on the seats. He didn't want to leave you alone."

Donna's heart melted as she thought of Louis and how sweet he could be sometimes. She gazed into the room and Harvey was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful, but all she wanted to do was wake him up. "How is he?" she said.

"He's doing good. His blood levels came back great so we expect him to wake himself up at any time. Looks like he's going to be fine."

Donna burst into tears. 'Thank god, thank god, whichever god you are, just thank god,' she thought. It was over. The months of pain, hurt, agony. They could put it all behind them. "Can I go in and see him?"

"Sorry, not until he's out of ICU. Hospital rules."

Donna nodded sadly. Then she looked down at her dress. The same white, blood stained dress she'd had on since last night and she felt an overwhelming urge … finally … to get cleaned up. She looked like she'd survived a zombie apocalypse and she didn't want Harvey to see her like this when he woke so she went back to the waiting room for the bag Ray had brought for her earlier – Dr. Harding showing her the way.

X

Hours later, Louis was still sleeping in the waiting room while Donna was changed, washed, brushed and made-up. She was tired, but no way was she going to succumb to sleep. She wanted to be there for Harvey. She wanted to run to him, to thank him for saving her, to tell him she was sorry … to just hold him and be with him. Her arms ached for him so much, she could practically feel him.

She shuffled into a seat and curled up, wrapping her arms around her body. It was a cold morning and Ray had done well to send a jumper and jeans, but she was still chilly. She'd have grabbed the blanket Dr. Harding gave her last night but it was already occupied covering Louis – well except for the tip of his nose and the top of his head. She watched her friend sleep and she smiled at the way his body vibrated as he snored. He was so funny even in sleep.

She yawned and there was a knock at the door. It was Rachel. "Hey, how are you doing?" she asked.

Donna moved a finger to her lips, "sssh, the baby's sleeping," she said as Rachel looked over at Louis, her face grimacing as she heard his snores.

They both tip-toed out of the room to go get some breakfast. It was almost 8.00am and the ER room of the hospital was still busy with patients, staff, drunks and weirdos. Donna had never seen such a motley crew. As she passed through the ER she was stopped by Dr. Harding who came jogging over to catch her before she disappeared through the maze of corridors.

Donna didn't have to ask.

She knew.

"Is he?"

Dr. Harding nodded. "Half an hour ago. He's asking for you."

Donna's body shook as she drew in a huge gulp of breath. Rachel shot forward and grabbed her arm, beaming with both relief and happiness. "I'll leave you to it," she said to her best friend.

X

Moments later she appeared at the doorway of a private hospital room. 'He must have damned good health insurance,' she thought. But then of course he did. Harvey always made sure he had the best of everything. "You ready?" asked Dr. Harding.

Donna nodded and she walked in through the door that Dr. Harding held open for her.

Harvey was sitting upright in bed with a stack of white pillows propping him up. His face had lost its colour but his eyes still had sparkle as they locked with hers when he saw her. She'd been thinking, no dreaming, of this moment ever since last night. At first she hadn't wanted to think about it because she was scared he wouldn't make it, but ever since she'd seen him in the ICU and realised he was going to be fine, she'd thought of nothing else but this.

"Hey," croaked Harvey as he saw her, reaching out with his good arm.

"Hey, yourself," she replied as she rushed to his bedside, grabbing his hand and hugging it close to her cheek. The warmth of his touch was soothing as she cried into him.

Harvey winced as he tried to move closer to her. She saw and jerked to her feet, "Harvey I'm so sorry," she said as she bent over him, stroking his hair and placing her hand on his chest. She could feel his heart beat. It felt strong and reassuring, so she kept her hand there.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," said Harvey, his voice dry and husky. Donna stroked his lips. They were hard and cracking. She spotted a jug of water on the nightstand so she walked around the bed, poured a glass and popped a straw into the liquid, before returning to his touch. Harvey struggled forward to take a sip from the straw as she held it for him then she dabbed some water on her fingertips and brushed the wetness into the cracks of his lips. He rested his head back and allowed her to care for him.

"You don't need to be sorry for anything, Harvey," she said firmly, but softly. He had blamed himself for the attempted rape, she'd know that. She wasn't going to let him blame himself for this too. "I knew you'd fix it and you did." She brushed more water gently over his mouth as her eyes filled with tears. "You didn't have to get yourself shot in the process, though," she said.

"I can't believe that fucking bastard shot me," said Harvey. "I guess that's pretty serious."

"Damn straight it is," said Donna with mock laughter. "And don't joke about it. I … it's been a rough night."

Donna's voice cracked as she spoke and Harvey realised for the first time that she'd been through the ringer. "I'm sorry," he said again, annoying her eye-roll. "I mean, I didn't know … I … what's happened to him."

"He's in Royal. They sent him to a different hospital. Then straight off to prison."

"Are they charging him?"

"Yeah, oh … erm … the police were here last night. I didn't speak to them, only Louis and Donna did, but they need to speak to both of us probably today."

"Okay, well that's fine," said Harvey. "No way am I making a deal over this. He tried to kill me and …"

"Rape me again?" she said finishing his sentence for him.

His eyes stared blankly as his mind fought against the emotions building up inside. He swallowed hard as the realisation hit him like bolt of lightening. "Donna, I'm sorry you were scared last night. I promised … and I'm sorry. I couldn't bear it. Him making us sit there, listening to that garbage coming out of his mouth. He's a sick piece of shit. My god if he'd touched you again, I … I …"

"I know Harvey. I'm not going to lie to you. I was terrified, but Jesus, not as terrified as when he shot you …" She bent over and rested her chin on his forehead, careful not to hurt his bandaged shoulder. He reached around his own body for her hand. "… Harvey you have no idea what that was like. Seeing him hurt you ... I thought you were going to die."

"Ssssh, hey it's okay."

"It's not okay Harvey, this is … Jesus I thought things were bad when Mike left, but … why did this have to happen to us? I keep thinking back to the start. It's all about that kiss. If I had told him where to go there and then. Just like Stella when he tried it on with her. Why didn't I?"

"Donna, we've both been through so much pain, and we can't go back. There's no point in even thinking about it. What if? What if we hadn't stayed late in the office. What if I'd realise he'd try to come back yesterday? What if I hadn't managed to get that gun off him? We could go on forever counting the 'what ifs', but I just want to focus on what we got out of this as a result."

Donna's mind ticked over. She thought she knew what Harvey meant, but did she?

"If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have you," said Harvey finally.

"You've always had me, Harvey," sobbed Donna.

"No I haven't. I was too much of a fucking wuss to have you," he said firmly. "Because of all this … this nightmare … I found the courage to hold onto you and I found the strength to never let you go again. I need you. I want you with me always and … I've been thinking … and it might be the drugs talking, but …"

Donna gulped as Harvey's expression changed. His deep dark brown eyes were glossy as they shone beneath his 'very serious' brow. "… what is it?" she said in a whisper.

"A proposal?"

"A … what?" gasped Donna, screwing her nose so that her freckles almost disappeared.

"A proposal. And one which I'm intent on closing right here, right now." Harvey picked up the straw from his water cup and started bending it around in his hands. He was focusing so hard on what he was doing that he poked his tongue out between his dry lips. He was totally absorbed and his intense concentration made Donna giggle. 'What on earth was he up to?"

"There!" he said finally, holding up the bent straw in the air. "Perfect!"

"Harvey, what on earth is that supposed to be," laughed Donna.

Harvey arched one eyebrow at her, then arched it higher at the straw. "It's a goddamn ring," he said, erupting in giggles, "and you're ruining my moment, so hush up and listen."

Donna stopped giggling as waves rippled through her body. 'He's serious?' she thought to herself. "Oh my god!"

"Ssssh," he snapped jokingly. "This is my moment. Donna Roberta Paulsen, would you do me the honour of wearing my straw in … erm … until I can replace it … and will you marry me?"

"Harvey, I … I think you should think about this maybe a bit more?" said Donna in astonishment.

"I've thought of nothing else. For the last hour," he said.

"Exactly," said Donna, cocking an eyebrow at him and screwing her nose up again.

"But I've thought about it before and I know I want this. Donna I'm being serious. I don't want to think of what life would be like without you." He looked deep into her eyes, searching for her agreement. "I can't be me … in life … unless you're in it too."

Silence. Her mind whizzing as she scrambled to process what was happening to her.

"And I'm not letting you go again, ever. So you may as well say yes."

"Then … I guess … I'll have to say … yes?"

Harvey smiled the widest smiled she'd ever seen, his dark eyes glinting as the sunlight streamed through the hospital window."

"But do I have to wear a straw on my finger?"

"Hell, no!" he laughed.

"Phew!" she grinned as she leaned in to kiss him.


	33. Chapter 33 - New World Order

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 33 – New World Order

Mike first heard the news weeks ago and he had been devastated. He wondered why he hadn't had one of his usual visits from Harvey for a couple of weeks. Rachel didn't know and she had been concerned when he'd told her. Something was up.

Rachel and Mike saw each other every other day or so, against Rachel's Father's wishes. Robert Zane knew with absolutely certainty that a time-served fraudster was never going to be good enough for his baby girl. Mike could set the world alight a million times over with all manner of fantastic deeds upon his release and it wasn't going to make any difference. Robert hated him. Mike had been thinking it over for so long and he was worried that someday he may have to let Rachel go. If he didn't, she'd lose her family. That was always at the back of his mind now, but, for now, in prison, he needed Rachel. Her visits were the only thing keeping him going.

It had been five months, give or take. Almost a quarter of his sentence gone already. In the beginning everyone had come to see him. Obviously, there was Rachel and Harvey, but in the beginning Donna had come too. He'd wondered why he hadn't seen her for so long, but now he knew. Jessica had even visited him once, in the beginning. Most surprising of all was Louis's numerous visits, but again, he hadn't seen him for a while too.

He remembered back to a few days ago when Rachel had met him, as usual, in the visitor room. Her face had changed. She was smiling as he walked in to greet her, but there was something about her eyes that unsettled him.

X X X

" _Rachel, what is it, are you okay?" he asked as he sat opposite Rachel on the plastic meeting room chair. The room was full of other visitors and his new colleagues – the inmates of Danbury prison._

 _Rachel looked like she was about to break down. She looked to her hands, fighting back the tears._

" _Rachel, has something happened? Please tell me, you're scaring me," he said as he reached out and covered her trembling hands with his calmer hands._

" _It's … it's Donna," she said, tears falling from her eyes and rolling in streams down her cheeks._

 _Mike's heart sank. He knew instantly that something very bad had happened. This was why she hadn't visited him. This was why Harvey hadn't visited him. "Is Donna okay, Rachel? Please … what is it?" He felt hopeless as he waited for her to answer. His insides flipping over the waves of fear._

 _Rachel nodded slowly. "I think she's okay," she said. "I'm … I'm going to find out tomorrow. Mike, I feel terrible. I've been avoiding her. I've been avoiding everybody because I was jealous and angry and now … I feel awful. I should have been there, I could have done something …"_

" _What? Rachel, please tell me what's happened?"_

 _Rachel sniffed away her last few tears and tried to compose herself. "My Dad called me last night. He'd heard from some of his friends at the DA's office and then from Evan Smith."_

" _Evan Smith? Jesus this isn't about Liberty Rail, is it?" asked Mike fretfully. He blamed himself for the Liberty Rail fiasco. He should have realised Donna had put herself in jeopardy. He should have stopped her. She had nearly gone to jail and after spending five months in prison himself, he knew it was no place for Donna._

" _No, no, it isn't Liberty Rail," said Rachel quickly. "It's …" She took a deep breath and smiled at Mike reassuringly, but he wasn't going to relax until he heard the story. She frowned and more tears formed in her eyes as she saw how worried he was. "… I'm sorry, Mike, I'm really sorry but she's been hurt. Really hurt."_

" _What?" asked Mike, as he sat back in the uncomfortable plastic chair. He ran his hand through his hair as he tried to process her words, feeling his own eyes water. 'Not Donna,' he thought as he pictured her when they last met. She'd come to visit him, bringing treats, and they'd laughed for a full hour. He'd had a great time. She'd put so much effort into cheering him up, telling him all about the new team from Europe and moaning about Harvey and Louis. He'd loved all of her observations. "Rachel, what happened?" he asked sadly, his voice breaking with panic._

" _According to my Dad, one of the lawyers from Europe had been harassing her … sexually harassing her. There's been loads of trouble. Harvey had hit the guy and they were going to sue him for assault. Then …"_

 _Mike watched as Rachel stirred uncomfortably in her seat. She was finding the words hard to say and he was trying to process the news himself. 'Harvey had hit the guy.' That bit he found very easy to grasp. Harvey would kill anyone who hurt Donna._

"… _then he hurt her, Mike," said Rachel, starting to cry again. "I … I don't know all the details but I spoke to Gretchen this morning and she said it was bad. She said he'd tried to rape her and he'd beat her up, but she fought him off. She had to stab him to get him off her and he ended up losing his hand."_

" _What, Jesus Christ …" said Mike in shock, as his body reacted to the news by forcing him to his feet, pacing around the table._

" _Ross, sit yourself down," called a prison guard from the other side of the room._

 _Rachel rose to her feet and gently tugged him back to his seat. "Mike, please," she said. "Please sit down."_

 _Mike almost collapsed into the seat, the full weight of Rachel's revelation hitting him like a tonne of bricks to the chest. The pain was terrible. His heart felt broken. The anguish made his head feel as if it were going to explode. "Is she okay though, Rach?" he asked. His whole body trembling._

" _I think so, but I haven't seen her Mike. There's a trial tomorrow, that's how my Dad heard. I'm going to go and be with her, then I'll come back and see you afterwards. Gretchen said she was back at work at least."_

 _Mike nodded as he processed. Back at work was good. "When did it happen?" he asked._

" _About six weeks ago."_

" _Six weeks? Rachel, nobody but you has visited me in that time. I haven't seen Harvey and I used to see him twice a week sometimes. This must have been bad."_

 _Rachel nodded. "Well at least you know why they haven't visited," she said._

X X X

 _Mike hadn't been able to think about anything but Donna until Rachel returned to Danbury as promised two days later. He walked to the visitor room, desperate to hear the outcome of the trial. When he entered the room he spotted Rachel sitting in the usual seat. Far right row at the front. He went straight to her, holding his hands in hers and kissing her softly on the forehead. She was smiling, so he felt instantly relaxed._

" _How did it go?" he asked as he settled into the plastic chair._

" _Good," said Rachel with a faint smile framing her face. "He's definitely going down. We'll find out how long he gets tomorrow I think."_

" _Tomorrow?"_

" _Yeah, I'm going to go straight back to the office after I leave here. I'm starting back there this afternoon. I want to go back, Mike. I've missed everybody so much."_

" _That's fine Rachel. What does your Dad think?"_

" _He's not happy really, but he isn't saying anything because of Donna. He knows I need to be there for her."_

 _All the colour left Mike's face as he asked the question he'd been dreading hearing the answer too. "How is she, Rach?"_

 _Rachel frowned and she took a deep breath. "She's fine now," she said quickly, wanting to stop Mike from worrying before she continued, "but, Mike it was awful seeing her on that stand, telling the courtroom what he'd done to her. I don't know how she kept it together. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if it had been me. I hadn't known what had happened until she told the world and … I cried, Mike … I couldn't help it, I just sat and cried."_

 _Mike closed his eyes and bowed his head. He didn't want to think about what had happened to his friend. Donna had been like a sister to him for the past five years, teasing him mercilessly, ribbing him about his skinny ties, but she had looked out for him until the end. He couldn't bear the thought of someone hurting her. "But she's okay now?" he asked again._

" _Yeah, she's good," said Rachel smiling. "And I have some more news. Good news … well actually, really, really, great news." Her eyes sparkled with delight as she spoke and Mike felt excited by how wide her smile grew._

" _What is it?" he asked mirroring her smile. This had to be good._

" _Harvey and Donna are 'together'," she beamed, relishing every moment of telling Mike the thing they'd both hoped would happen one day._

 _Mike's eyes almost popped out of his head. "They're together? Are you shitting me?"_

" _Nah-ha," smirked Rachel. "They've even been living together for a month. They're inseparable."_

" _No way!"_

" _Yes, way!"_

" _What you mean Harvey Specter finally … finally told her he loved her?"_

" _Yep," she smiled. "And they're so cute together. It's so sweet. He really stepped up to the plate after … well after the assault … he didn't leave her side. She's moved all of her things into his place. There's been talk of re-decorating his condo!"_

" _Get outta here!" beamed Mike, his smile almost as wide as his head. "Not Harvey's bachelor pad?"_

" _Yes, it's great isn't it?"_

 _Mike smiled, but then his face fell into quiet reflection. "I miss them," he said._

 _She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight. "I know you do. I'll tell them. They'll come see you as soon as they can."_

X X X

He was disturbed after breakfast the following morning by a prison guard. He had returned to his cell after eating for some free time.

"Ross," the man said, interrupting him reading a book – a crime novel – which wasn't holding his attention as much as he'd hoped when he selected it from the library.

"What is it?" asked Mike, rising from his bed.

"Governor needs to see you. Come with me."

"What about?" he asked as he put his book down and joined the guard, walking towards the prison offices.

"No idea," said the guard.

Mike entered the Governor's office moments later. He was worried sick, his mind racing with all the possible reasons why he may have been called in to see him. Governor Walker was a kind man who had treated him well since he'd arrived at Danbury. He trusted him completely.

"Sit down please Mike," said Governor Walker, inviting him to take his chair, while he perched on the end of his mahogany desk.

"What's happened?" asked Mike unsettled by the Governor's pained expression.

"I have some bad news. There was an incident at the offices of Pearson Specter Litt last night."

"An incident?" he exclaimed, "Rachel? Please is she okay?"

The Governor nodded his head. "She is fine. It seems there'd already been an incident there a few months back and a trial this week?"

Mike nodded, his face ashen, unable to speak.

The Governor stood and picked up a note from his desk. "Yes, unfortunately one of the lawyers there. The man who was convicted yesterday, took some of the staff hostage. Your girlfriend was one of the hostages."

Mike felt his composure give in as he ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing at his scalp. "But she's okay?" he asked.

"Yes, she's fine. She was released unharmed, but I've been told that one of your former colleagues … erm … just a minute … a Mr Specter …?"

Wham! Mike felt like his heart stopped. Time froze. The room around him melted into a blur of colours as he waited for the Governor to tell him.

"… yes a Mr Specter was shot during the incident, and the other lawyer … a Mr Roche? Wait a minute … a Mr Roche?" The governor stood, turned around and flicked through some files on his desk. "Yes, I thought as much. Mr Julien Roche. Looks like he's on his way here … anyway, Mr Specter managed to disarm the assailant despite being shot and … oh …" he flicked through the papers on Julien's admission notes. "… and beat him up pretty bad in the process by all accounts. Mr Roche will be here once he's released from hospital."

"How is he?" asked Mike. "How is Harvey?"

"I don't know that, I'm sorry," said the Governor. "Sounds like he's one hell of a guy. He saved all three hostages after he'd been shot. Miss Zane, your girlfriend, and the other two were a … Miss Paulsen and a Miss Pearson."

Mike smiled. "Harvey's my best friend and he is one hell of a guy."

The Governor nodded sadly. "I'll see if I can find out more details for you. I'll let you know if your girlfriend calls. I'll tell her she can come straight over to see you, doesn't matter if it's not visiting hours."

"Thank you, Governor Walker," said Mike.

X X X

Mike had been relieved to get a call from Rachel later that day. He was even more relieved to hear that Harvey was doing well and that everyone else was fine. She said she was going to come and see him once Harvey was out of hospital as she was looking after Donna.

That had been two days ago now.

It had taken him two days to spread the news around the inmates.

He'd grown close to a few people since he'd entered Danbury, some of them he felt he may even stay friends with after he'd served his time. He relied on them, and they relied on him.

Four of his friends walked behind him as he approached the man who was sitting alone in the pool hall. He had his back to them but Mike knew who he was. He was hunched over on a bench, alone, his head bowed low, his left hand resting on a stump where his right hand had once been.

Mike circled the man and sat down on the opposite bench facing him. His friends stood behind him.

The man looked up and met his gaze. His dark eyes, heavy and vacant as he stared, wondering what was going on.

Mike continued to stare him down. "Julien Roche?" he asked.

Julien's expression changed to one of fearful realisation. "Who wants to know?" he answered in a heavy French accent.

"My name is Mike Ross," said Mike. Julien's expression didn't change. He'd guessed who he was already. "It looks like we're going to be spending some time together in here, so I just want to let you know about the new order of things."

Julien laughed darkly at Mike. He was broken. He didn't care about anything. "What new order is this?" he asked.

"Oh you can call it a New World Order because as from today, your world becomes hell on earth," said Mike. "You see Donna Paulsen is one of my best friends and you hurt her. You hurt her, you tried to rape her, you beat her and then you tried to do it all again and in here … in Danbury … guys who do that to women get … well … let's just say the balance is evened out."

Julien shook his head defiantly. "Do your worst," he said.

"Oh we will," said Mike. "These four guys here agree with me. Nicholls and Jamie here on my left. They have this thing where they can't stand guys who frighten women and take them hostage. You pulled a gun on my girlfriend Rachel Zane, and my boss Jessica Pearson so they're going to even out the score on their behalf. Then there's Gillan on my right. He really hates guys who shoot unarmed people. You shot my best friend, Harvey Specter, so Gillan is going to be dealing with that for me. Finally, the little guy over here is Smithson and he'll be evening the score for everyone else you have harmed or upset over the years, whether it be my friend Louis Litt, or all of your team from Europe who I've heard you've treated like shit."

Mike stood up, his four friends surrounding him silently.

"So, Monsieur Roche. We'd like you to know that this is going to be what your life is about while you're in here with us. Make sure you watch your back."


	34. Chapter 34 - The Gift

THE PROPOSAL

CHAPTER 34 – The Gift

 **Thanks to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed this story. I am absolutely overjoyed by the response. It was only the second story I've ever written and I didn't intend it to be so mammoth, but I enjoyed writing it so much.**

 **The sad news: This is the last chapter! I'm ending on a high note with lots of possibilities, but I think the story is now complete, with all ends tied up nicely. If you enjoy my writing, please pop over to my new story (The Best Part of Me) which is also going to be a great novel-sized read! I love a good multi-chapter, if you haven't all guessed already. Thank you all so much xxx**

X X X

It had taken months for Harvey's shoulder to get back to normal. He'd returned to work – obviously far too early – and that hadn't helped. Weeks and weeks of physio followed until he'd finally gotten to the point where he no longer felt any pain. He'd even started boxing again.

It was coming up to six months since he'd been shot and in those six months he'd seen Julien Roche a number of times. It wasn't something he'd relished, but he was in Danbury and Mike was … correction … Mike _**had been**_ in Danbury. Harvey had made sure he'd visited Mike every week after the shooting. Donna hadn't been able to go. She couldn't go to Danbury knowing Julien was incarcerated there too. Mike understood.

This day, in more ways than one, was going to be the best day of Harvey's life. Six months ago he had sat in a hospital bed fashioning a ring from a straw and asking his best friend, his soulmate, the person he loved more than any other person on the planet to be his wife.

Just as he'd suspected, she'd organised the shit out of their wedding. He hadn't had to do anything, but respond to what she'd decided they needed. Whatever she wanted for their day, was fine with him and he adored how much she was enjoying herself. She deserved this, in fact she deserved so much more. She probably deserved more than he was ever going to be able to give her, and that scared him, but he knew she loved him and wanted to be with him, so he was happy. He was determined to make her the happiest he could, determined to put the horrors of the past year behind them and determined this day would be the pinnacle of both of their lives.

To cap it all off. Almost a year since Mike went to Danbury he was now being released. Good behaviour combined with an outstanding record of helping inmates with legal matters had been spotted by the Governor of the prison who arranged for his early release. Better still. Anita Gibbs had waived his ban on practicing law and going to law school. Harvey had expected a fight when he decided to approach her, but he didn't need to. After the attempted rape trial she had seen the whole of Pearson Specter Litt in a new light. It was her way of making amends (still) for believing Julien in the first place, and for not foreseeing that the 24 hours she'd given Julien to report to Danbury would send him on an armed spree.

He and Rachel hadn't told Donna or the rest of the team that Mike was getting out today. Marcus, his brother, was all set to be his best man, but he had gladly stepped aside once Harvey had told him about Mike's release. He couldn't wait to see Donna's face. She'd been so happy over the past six months, but this was a whole different ball game. She'd missed him so much, but now, on their wedding day, the entire family was going to be back together. The firm was back at the top, the nightmare surrounding Julien Roche had actually worked in their favour. The media had reported the incident nationwide. Not only New York, but the whole of the country and beyond had heard the story about the heroic hotshot lawyer – the role he was born to play – fighting an armed gunman in defence of the woman he loved. He'd stayed away from interviews, but all the law firms and big businesses in the city knew the story and knew who it involved. Even Travis Tanner had sent him a note of congratulations. Pearson Specter Litt was no longer the bottom of the sludge pile with ambitious lawyers seeking employment. Now, just like before, everyone wanted to work there.

X

Harvey had almost finished getting dressed when he heard a knock on the door of his hotel suite. Fiddling with his cufflinks, he crossed the room and opened it, revealing a grinning Mike Ross on the other side.

"I can't believe you're putting me in a cravat," he laughed as he held up the bagged wedding suit in his right hand.

Harvey grinned. "I concede, the suit would probably look better with a skinny tie."

They both stood smiling at each other for a few moment before Mike stepped forward and pulled Harvey into a hug. "Good to see you, man."

Harvey hugged him back. "Does anyone else know you're out?"

"No, just you and Rachel. I'm going to be the wedding gift that keeps on giving, aren't I?" Mike chuckled as he stepped inside the room and dropped the suit down on a sofa. "I saw Rachel briefly last night before she left. She's here now … somewhere around this place with Donna. I can't wait to see Donna, Harvey. I've really missed her."

"And she's going to be thrilled to see you."

Mike couldn't resist. "Hey, do you think she's going to be more pleased to see me than she is you when she walks down that aisle?"

Harvey frowned comically. "Probably. Although she'll be wondering what the hell happened to your hair. You look like a freaking convict. Oh wait a minute … you are a convict. Now get your jailbait ass in the bedroom and get dressed. I've a wedding to get to."

"Get your jailbait ass in the bedroom?" copied Mike with a glint of mischief in his eye. "I hope you don't use that line on Donna later tonight."

"Very funny."

"I know." He laughed impishly. "I've had a long time to practice my one-liners. I could go all day. I am going to go all day."

Harvey stepped forward and shoved him playfully into the bedroom of his suite.

"Okay, okay, I get the message," he said. "You know, Harvey, I've had almost a year of sleeping in a cell I think I could get used to this place. How much did this set you back?"

"More than you could afford. And remember you're on parole. One word from me and you're back inside faster than you can say Prisoner 24601."

"What? Wait a minute … is that a Les Miserables reference? Harvey, what's happened to you? Musicals, theatre, is this all down to Donna? Has she made you into a …" he comically clutched his hand to his chest feigning a heart attack. "A husband?"

"Funny guy!" Harvey playfully batted Mike's arm before frowning. "She made me go see it with her."

Mike laughed out loud. "Oh my god, you've got it bad. You must have it really bad to put yourself through that."

"It was three hours of absolute hell."

Mike stood in the doorway of the hotel bedroom, his eyes beaming. "I've missed this."

"Me too," said Harvey. "Now … "

"Yeah, yeah, I know. My jailbait ass is going to get dressed."

X

Rachel Zane wasn't the best at keeping secrets, but she knew her life depended on her keeping this one. Both Harvey and Mike were clear.

She and Donna had stayed over in a suite at the opposite side of the hotel to Harvey and Mike and they'd had a fun, girlie night filled with facials, beauty treatments, manicures, but most importantly, lots of talk and laughter. Rachel was a fully-fledged lawyer now and Donna was so happy for her. Both of their lives were taking off – admittedly in different directions – and Donna had heard there was a possibility of Mike getting released soon too.

The morning had been hectic as hairdressers and beauticians had got to work in the suite, which now resembled a salon, the buzz of hairdryers and the smell of perfume and cosmetics filling the air. Rachel wasn't the only bridesmaid. Stella Bart had stuck around after Roche & Roche had pulled out of their partnership and she was now a junior partner at Pearson Specter Litt. Antonio had stayed too, of course. As had, very surprisingly and agonisingly (for Louis), Max Schmidt. All three were now part of their family and Donna was overjoyed that Stella had agreed to be her bridesmaid too. Harvey's twelve year old niece, Daisy, was the third bridesmaid and her mum, Harvey's sister-in-law, had brought her to the suite to get dressed first thing.

Rachel had been pleased that Donna had chosen royal blue Christian Dior bridesmaid dresses for them to wear. Briefly, she had succumbed to Donna's joke that she'd picked bubblegum pink retro-1980s dresses with hoops, but her gullibility had lasted less than 30 seconds. She knew Donna had amazing taste and the dresses were gorgeous. All three were silk and floaty tulle, but all three had subtle differences. Rachel's had very romantic split strappy sleeves while Stella's was completely strapless with a bodice that complimented her hourglass figure. Daisy's dress had simple straps which suited her age. They all wore their hair down and fastened with silver Tiffany hair accessories, while their dainty clutch bouquets were made from pink cala lilies.

The bridesmaids all left the suite's bedroom together and all gasped as they saw Donna in the adjoining room.

She was wearing a Caroline Herrera gown in ivory which clung to her body like a second skin, lace enveloping her shoulders and floating down her entire body into a glamourous 1930's style skirt which pooled at her feet and spread into a train. Her red hair was pinned to one side in a romantic, wavy pleat and curls cascaded around her face, softening the overall look which was accentuated by a Tiffany diamond-encrusted tiara and a very long, dramatic veil. Her bouquet of white lilies perfectly complemented the gown.

"Oh my god, you look beautiful." Rachel forced the tears to stay put. She didn't want to risk spoiling her make-up.

"Yeah, I know," said Donna as she checked herself out in the mirror. "But, you three don't look too bad either."

"I can keep this dress, can't I, Auntie Donna?" asked Daisy as she looked at herself in the full length mirror, her long brown hair falling to her waist in curls.

"Of course you can, sweetie." Donna beamed at Harvey's niece. She loved being referred to as 'Auntie'. She didn't have any nieces or nephews of her own. Her brother had proven himself as useless as her at procreating. Well … up till now. There was still time.

A knock at the door interrupted them. Stella answered it and recognised the red hair on the man facing her immediately. "You must be Mr. Paulsen," she said as she stood to one side and let Donna's dad enter the room.

James Paulsen was dressed in grey with a royal blue cravat matching the bridesmaid's dresses. He smiled widely as he saw his daughter. He didn't care much for Harvey Specter, but when he'd heard all about what had happened to Donna his heart had broken so badly that only the news of Harvey's heroics and his proposal had brought him through the other side. He couldn't bear the pain his baby girl has suffered, but he knew Harvey loved her and he knew he'd keep her safe. When it came down to it, her safety and her happiness was all that truly mattered.

"You look great, Dad," said Donna as she swallowed a lump in her throat. Her father's eyes were full of tears and he was lost for words.

"You too, baby, you too." James Paulsen stepped forward and pulled his only daughter into a strong hug.

"Is it time to go?"

"It most certainly is." James offered Donna his arm and they followed Rachel, Stella and Daisy out of the suite, on their way to the hotel ballroom.

X

What had started out life as a small, intimate affair had ended up being one of the largest weddings New York had ever seen, with almost 400 guests attending from all over the city including friends, family, colleagues, clients and practically everyone who mattered in the legal world Harvey Specter occupied. Oh, and there were a few theatre people in the mix too.

Harvey was even more inclined to go 'big' than Donna had been. He saw his wedding as a statement of his life's success, just like his penthouse, his flashy cars and his name on the door. Pink and white lilies where fastened to the hundreds of white lace trimmed chairs lined up theatre-style in the ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria. Harvey and Mike were waiting at the front, with the extremely important role of usher being filled by Louis Litt.

Mike's entrance had been met by a few gasps from the lawyers in the audience. Robert and Laura Zane had been briefed by Rachel beforehand and were managing to smile through their understandable anxiousness about their daughter's relationship with a convicted felon. Harvey had noticed a few shocked reactions and mutterings, but he didn't care. He placed his arm on Mike's shoulder and let it be known to the world that the kid was his guy. And he'd always be his guy.

Jessica sat at the second row behind Mike and Harvey. As they sat waiting for the ceremony to start, she placed her hand on Mike's shoulder. "Welcome back, kid." They shared a mutual glance of recognition. Mike had been afraid to see Jessica when he first entered the ballroom, so he was relieved when she made the first gesture.

They enormous audience of guests settled into their seats as the music started to play. Donna had chosen an orchestral overture from Les Miserables to mark her entrance. Harvey groaned as he heard the all-to-familiar score. Mike chuckled. Louis started to sing along. Mike chuckled so much he thought he might pee himself.

X

Donna stood outside the door to the ballroom, her dad's arm holding her tight as her nerves started to get the better of her. She couldn't believe this day had come. She was in the Waldorf-Astoria marrying Harvey Specter. Thirteen years ago she would have had a heart attack on the spot if somebody had told her this was going to be her life.

She watched Daisy, then Stella walk through the door. Then, Rachel gave her best friend a kiss on the cheek and wished her good luck before taking her turn to walk through the door too. Donna prepared herself. She could do it. She was an actress. She loved attention. She was going to have 400 pairs of eyes on her and she was damn well going to enjoy it!

James Paulsen took his daughter's arm and guided her through the doors. "Break a leg," he said to her with a wry smile as they started their walk down the aisle.

She focused on Harvey. She could see him standing tall and proud, waiting for her as she walked and … and then she froze. She looked to one side and she saw him. Mike was there. Tears fell from her eyes as she brought her hand to her mouth, momentarily covering her face with her bouquet. She clung to her dad's arm as she came closer, she couldn't believe Mike was there. She hadn't seen him in almost a year and it was all she could do to stop her legs from buckling beneath her as she watched him standing next to Harvey, beaming with pride.

Harvey realised immediately that she'd noticed, so he brought Mike closer and placed his arm around the kid's shoulder for all the world to see. He had done what he'd promised himself so far. He'd made her happy and he'd made their special day one she'd never forget.

When she reached them she broke free from her dad and embraced them both. There were audible sighs from those members of the audience who knew the story. Then there were claps as some of those same people – Katrina Bennett, Harold Gunderson, Paula Agard and Jeff Malone to name just a few – rose to their feet in applause at the three-way-hug taking place front of stage.

Donna wiped her face carefully and passed her bouquet to Rachel, ready for the ceremony to begin.

The Officiant cleared her throat and waited for the audience to settle.

Harvey turned to Donna. "You ready to be Mrs. Specter, beautiful?"

"You can bet your life I am."

"Best day of your life?"

"Best so far."

"Let's get this show on the road, then."

The Officiant started the service and Harvey and Donna declared their love for one another in front of their world.


End file.
